Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy. This is my thoughts on what Last Sacrifice should be like. When done reading, please, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!

"Rose, what the hell was that all about? Why was he in your room?"

"He's just being an asshole."

"How so? Usually Belikov has a good reason to be an ass?" He retorted, slightly glaring at me.

I was stunned for a moment. I knew this looked, but really, it wasn't my fault. Adrian's the one blowing everything way out of proportion. "He thinks everything about my life revolves around Lissa."

He looked at me, with a culpable expression. "It kind of does."

Okay, know I'm mad. "My life doesn't revolve around Lissa, it revolves around everyone I love. If anyone threatens someone that I care for, then yeah, I will say that I'm a little bit dedicated to keeping them safe, which makes it very personal."

"Which is Lissa."

"There are more people I love, that I care for. Why are you agreeing with him?"

"Because he is right, Rose. But back to my question, why was he in your room?"

"Because he thought I was up to something to help Lissa, and he wanted to take a part in it. Of course, he was sadly mistaken. It has nothing to do with Lissa. Can't I do something for myself for once?"

He sighed, and came to me. "Then where are you going? I want to come with you. It can be our little get-away from everything that has happened. We need to spend time together, Rose. You have been so caught up in everything, you're so wound up. You need to relax. Perhaps I can make a call to a spa, so you can relax. Loose that tense arura that you have around you all the time."

I laughed. "I'm not tense. Just, I don't know. But I will admit, a spa sounds pretty tempting, but I can't."

"Why not," He put his arms around me, and hold me to him.

I looked at him then. I saw his hair, and how he stylishly makes it messy, making it look sexy. Then, his eyes, which are a bright, green; they remind me for a field of grass on a sunny day-beautiful and peaceful. Then, there are his lips. Lips that are soft, and warm, and wonderful, and sweet….the list can go on and on. I took a breath, and his scent hit me. I never smelled this scent before, but with his Abercrombie cologne, it went great with his scent. I breathed in again, and sighed. He is a wonderful person, someone I find comfort in now. I wish I could be with Dimitri right now, but Dimitri doesn't want me anymore. I will find out why one day, but Adrian wants me. And when I think about it, Adrian is a wonderful man. He can take care of me in ways no one can, not even Lissa. I can talk to him in ways I can't talk to anyone else.

However, right now, as I look at him, at his lips, then at his eyes, I thought he was a very handsome man. "You are so handsome." I said, in a whisper.

That earned me smile, and he dipped his head down and kissed me. His lips just met mine when someone cleared their throat.

I wasn't moving, but Adrian pulled back slightly and his forehead was on mine. "What is it?" He asked, and he sounded…happy.

When no one answered, I opened my eyes and turned my head toward the door. There, in the doorway, stood my mother, with Dimitri.

"Yes, yes we all agree Adrian is handsome, but, if you two want to have a moment, make sure you shut the door."

I looked at Adrian, and whispered. "I thought you shut the door."

He looked at me with a wicked smile, and said "opps.. I did it again."

I glared at him for that, and I glanced at Dimitri, though his stance was unbending and unerring, his lips twitched in amusement.

"Lord Ivashokov, I'm afraid I have to talk to my daughter in private."

"Yes, Guardian Hathaway." He turned to me and gave me a quick kiss and walked towards the door, he bowed respectfully and left the room. My mother shut the door after him.

"I had no idea things between you and Lord Ivashokov are getting serious."

"Well, there not exactly serious, but he's someone special."

"Becareful Rose."

I glared at her. "I'm not getting pregnant. And if it makes you happy, know this: Adrian and I haven't had sex yet."

My mom looked shocked for a moment, then recovered. "I did not need to know that."

"Well, you were making it your business, so I told you. Now you can lie off."

She gave me a hard look for a moment, then started talking, still giving me a hard expression. "Abe called me and told me you were going on a mission, given to you by the Queen. He said that you might need extra muscle."

"Why is that old man doing this to me?"

"Because you almost died in Russia Rose!"

Dimitri flinched.

"I didn't die, nor was I close to dying. I knew what I was doing. God damn, everyone is treating me like I am brand spanking knew at killing striogi. I know what to do, and why does Abe care so much anyway?"

"Because he-"

I cut her off. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I thought you were inseparable with your charge. Is he okay?"

"Yes Lord Szelsky is doing well. I got another Guardian to take my place."

"Why did you leave him for me?" I said like it was the most stupid thing in the world to do.

"Why shouldn't I? My daughter needs my help."

I looked away from her then, looking at her feet. Why did she want to help me now? What does it take, exactly, to get my mother's attention? I died, and that didn't get her attention. I got seriously injured when Victor was the cause, and didn't get her attention. I went to Russia, and nearly died! Though, I will admit, she came to check on me when I got back to the states. But still, does it take my death, or close to my death, to get her attention? "Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore." I lifted my head to look at her. "I'm all grown up and I am a guardian now. I don't know why you want to help me, but you don't have to. I know what it is like to nearly lose your charge, and be halfway across the world when tragedy strikes and he or she needs you the most."

"Rose, I'm here to help you get your mission done quickly and efficiently," she said curtly.

I took a long look at her, and a question suddenly popped up in my mind. For several years I had thought about this one question and now, I needed to know the answer. "Can I ask you a question, and can you answer it honestly?" I finally said, a moment later.

"Yes." She said, with no hesitation.

I looked at her, and hoped that I would get a good answer. I glanced at the window quickly, thinking about not asking this question- really, I am an eighteen year old, who still yearns for her mother's love. I feel stupid for this, but I still want it. I always have, and for her to be so near, so close, makes my heart ache with not just hurt, but want.

I gathered up all my courage and looked her straight in the eye. In the room, no one existed but me and my mother. I wasn't even aware of the door opening up. "Did," I swallowed hard and continued. "Did you ever think of me, at all when you were away?" I suddenly felt like a little girl, pleading for a mother's love. And it felt pathetic, I felt pathetic. I shifted my feet, feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable.

She perusaled me, taking in my emotion, my body language, my facial expression, everything. "Why are you asking me this?"

And that is when I cracked. I felt my facial expression turned into hurt and pain. "Because I need to know if my mother ever loved me!" I yelled. "All my life, you hardly ever visited. I got lucky if I saw you once in a four year period! Do you know what it was like, growing up without a mother? I felt like I was out on my own, that no one could give a damn about me. The closest I got to a mother was Mrs. Dragonmir. I looked at that woman like she was everything good in life, like she held all the answers. She helped me through pretty much everything, down to problems with boys, and rumors, to starting puberty." I was hardly aware of tears coming down. "I loved that family so much! They pretty much took me in and loved me. I felt like I was a part of their family, that I was their daughter. I felt like I finally found some place where I belonged, and I was very happy; happy because someone finally loved me. Someone finally wanted me. They were my family! Then that car accident claimed them! It took them away from me! It took away everyone that mattered to me. Everyone that I loved, and sworn to protect.

"But do you know what I ask every day since I saw you turn your back on the Academy and left me there? I wondered and asked myself all the time, 'did my mother ever love me?' And I need to know. Did you ever love me, even a little bit?" I clenched my jaw tight and it felt like it was going to crack, or break it in half. My vision was blearing and I felt tears leak out from under my eyes. I looked at her, waiting for an answer. A few moments passed, and she said nothing, just kept looking at me. And the longer she kept quiet, the more my heart ached. I couldn't even identify what her expression was. Then, I saw a tear leak out of one of her eyes. I saw her swallow, like she was swallowing pain, or guilt, maybe both. Then, she spoke.

"I have always loved you Rose. And I am sorry I wasn't around for your adolescent years, but I was just starting out in life. I just got assigned a charge, and then you came along."

Yeah, me, the unwanted pregnancy. I guess my father had a point. I was an error. "So I guess you and my father both agree that I am an error in your lives."

"Rose, your being rash."

"Am I?" I l could feel that I was looked at her with pleading, hurt eyes.

"Rose, what was I suppose to do? My job was all I had."

"You had me!" I yelled, but my yell was mixed in with a sob. "You also had my father. I know he would have taken you in, would have done anything you wanted."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because he did you that huge favor of looking for me in Russia! He went down that dangerous road to save me, to bring me to a hospital, or someone who had medical training. He risked his life for you!"

"What did you expect Rose?" She whispered in a desperate, pleading tone.

"I understood then, and understand now that your job is everything to you, but why couldn't you of visited me? Once a year would have been a gift to see you, I loved Mrs. Dragonmir, but I wanted my real mom. I didn't think that was so much to ask for."

She looked at me then, and I couldn't identify what she was thinking or feeling. I could feel that I was about to go into another sobbing, ranting fit, so I turned around, making my back face her. I needed to pull myself together. I shouldn't be telling her this, yet, how could I not? She was my mother who had left me to be raised by the St. Vladimir's Academy without so much of a 'good bye, love you' and suddenly she made an appearance in my life, wanting in. Leaving a child for most of their life, and suddenly coming back in comes with consequences. I took a deep breath, and with courage, I turned back around, slowly.

For the first time since my outbreak, I was aware of my surroundings. I saw Adrian, Lissa, Eddie, Christian, Sydney-what was she doing here?-and of course my mom and Dimitri. I looked at Lissa, and she was crying, and Adrian had a sympathetic look on his face, and so did Christian and Sydney. Except Christian, I knew could relate to most of my pain. Dimitri had his guardian face on, but in his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, I saw sympathy, and a hint of anger. He was probably mad at me for putting my mom in this situation. However, everyone needs closure, and I needed it more than ever with my mom. I could feel the shock on my face as everyone looked at me, and i looked at them.

"But I guess it doesn't matter anymore." My voice cracked, and I cleared it. "What is done is done, and it's in the past. No redo's. I'm leaving. I don't need help, but thank you for your offer. I can take care of myself." I wiped my face and walked out of the room, leaving my mom in a stunned daze. I said all that I needed to say, and heard all that I needed to hear.

I practically ran down the stairs and out the door. I walked in a fast pace, not sure where I was going. All I knew, was that I needed to walk and clear my head. I kept replaying what had happened in my room with my mom. I got what I wanted, an answer. She said that she did love me, but she didn't deny that I was a mistake. But there was also something that was bothering me, and I couldn't quite put it into words. I felt as if I was missing something.

I found myself in the park, sitting down under a huge oak tree, with my leg crossed and my head in my hands. I wasn't crying or sobbing, but I wanted to. I felt like I shouldn't cry, and I didn't know how.

"Rose." A familiar male voice came. It was filled with sympathy, sorrow and understanding.

"Hey Christian," I said, looking up into his crystal blue eyes. He looked at me, and I stood up. "What do you need?"

He didn't say anything, but suddenly, he drew me in for a tight hug, and suddenly, a sob came out. And another, and another, until I was finally crying, letting out all my grief over abandonment and the death of most of the Drigonmir family. I could tell he was slightly uncomfortable in this situation, but he held onto me, and gently and tentatively patted my back, offering me comfort.

I didn't know why, after all this time of seeing my mother, I had finally said that. It felt like what I said, should have been said back in December, before we went to the ski lodge. She was telling me about something, and I blew her off, that would have been the appropriate time to have brought that question up, but something inside of me just snapped and made me say it now.

I cried for a few minutes, all the while, Christian holding onto me. I finally took a breath, and pulled myself together, then let out a hard sigh.

"Is it all out?" He asked, with a tentative smile.

"I hope so." I looked down at the ground. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Sorry that you and everyone else saw that, and that I got your shirt wet."

"It needed to come out. You can't have something like that inside of you."

"Yeah." I agreed. I looked at him, and it was like we finally saw each other a little bit clearer.

"We should probably get back. Lissa is worried about you."

I nodded. "Let's go."

Please tell me, what did you think of it? Was it a bit much with Rose and her mom? Rose always had issues with her mother, and with them becoming friends, I felt like they should put their feelings out in the open. And, what could Sydney possibly be doing here? Well, please review and tell me what you honestly thought about Rose and her Mother? I really want some opinions. My sister is no longer my peer editor, so I have no opinions, therefore leaving the job up to you! Thank you very much for reading this.

Rose-Phoenix