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The Female Persuasion
Written by : Tybs23 and Jagsrule5
Chapter IV
Aru and Wine
"No! He's probably mass-producing white flags as we speak! I'll express how angry I am with this piano. "
Disclaimer: We, don't own Hetalia. Come on, if we did, Prussia would have a lot more screen time.
The cherry blossoms were in full bloom near the China household, the dainty pink petals falling like rain onto the bamboo covered forest floor.
China took a sip from his tea, cross-legged on the floor beside his stuffed doll.
"More tea, Miss Kitty?"
The look-alike doll didn't respond, her usual answer, which China had always taken as a definite "yes". So, respecting her decision, he poured a new cup of tea for his furry friend.
"I know you much more enjoy jasmine, aru," he chatted idly, "but I wasn't able to get to the store. A Spaniard was bagging today, you see, and I just didn't have the time…"
Miss Kitty gave a knowing glance.
"Yes, I know, I was disappointed as well, aru…" sighed China, "But you don't drink much, anyway. And you know how I love chai."
He shrugged when he saw the blank stare that she was giving him, turning his attention back to the newspaper on the table.
"Half of Europe Engulfed by Mint Bunnies," he read aloud, so that his friend could share in his muted shock. China flipped through the pages rapidly, more than a bit stunned.
"England… Of course, aru." China should have known that he would do something like this. And, if he remembered correctly, the Asian country did somewhat recall England saying something about a 'mint bunny' once before. But China had just assumed that he had concocted some new type of mint tea and, knowing England's culinary abilities, it was bound to be god-awful. He shuddered at the memory.
Too consumed in his horrible daydream, the dazed dynasty almost didn't notice the tiny, unfamiliar girl that was sneaking up right behind him, her eyes fanatical.
Almost.
Before the girl could get the chance to wrap her arms around the man, China whipped around, sending his frying pan straight into the intruder's face. She crumpled to the ground with a long groan.
"Good eye, Miss Kitty!" he praised. The doll gave a look of acknowledgement.
"H-hey," the girl squeaked from the matted floor, "You almost broke my glasses!"
China pointed to the ground with his ladle, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Who sent you? Was it Russia? Germany? Here to steal my limited edition plushie collection, aru?"
But the would-be spy could only gape for a moment, appraising the country like she was some sort of obsessed fangirl.
Of course, she was an obsessed fangirl… But China didn't know that.
"Well? Do you have no shame as a spy, aru?"
"I, uh… Well…" Her mid-length hair, cut around her shoulders, had fallen into her face, by then, and she sat with her eyes wide open.
"She's here for you, of course," a voice spoke from a few feet away. Jags strolled up to the scene, acknowledging China with a waggle of the eyebrows.
Rightfully disturbed, China stepped back a couple steps. "W-who are- What are you all doing here? And why couldn't you have used the door, aru?" barked the ponytailed pretty boy, looking to his shattered screen door in distress. Jags kept her face cool.
"Well, I was going to just chill in the back for most of these requests, buuut…" her look turned playfully dark, "It just looked so fun! I couldn't resist! So I'm tagging along for this one, kay?"
The one in front, turning her attention to the fact that she was still sprawled out on the floor, pounced back up to her feet and dusted herself off with one hand. "That's cool with me!"
But China didn't quite see what was so 'cool' about it. He let his ladle drop, seeing no danger in these little girls. "Will someone please explain this to me, aru?"
"I can take it from here," said one girl to the other, who only waved a hand to continue.
She cleared her throat, "You can call me Coolgirl, and I'm a fanfiction writer!"
"And I'm Jags," said the other, "I pretty much run the show, with Tybs of course."
The word set off warning bells in the man's head. China's face dropped almost immediately. "Fan…fiction…? N-no, aru. You must be joking, yes?"
They exchanged glances, snickering to themselves. Jags put a hand to her hip. "Does this look like the face of a liar?"
"We don't joke around about this stuff."
"Completely serious."
"Well then," started China hesitantly, "As long you aren't thinking of pairing me with Russia again, aru…"
"Oh, don't worry about that," assured Coolgirl in a very matter-of-fact tone, "Actually, I was leaning towards more of a China/Japan set-up."
"Nice choice," agreed Jags, nodding her head approvingly.
China let out a short gag, looking between the girls as if searching for a sign that this was all a joke. Meanwhile, Jags whipped out her laptop and parked herself at the tiny table beside Miss Kitty, already beginning the transformation.
Still smiling at China in an odd sort of way, Coolgirl also made herself comfortable on the other side of the plush feline, striking up a conversation with it as she waited.
"So… How do you and China know each other?"
"…"
"Oh, really. For that long? Huh. You don't find friendships like that much, nowadays."
"…"
"Ah, yes! I would love some tea! Oh no no, I can pour it, thanks."
Very suddenly, making both Jags and Coolgirl look up from their respective activities, Japan burst through the thin sheets of screening that made up the left wall, making China frown and Jags smirk triumphantly. He scanned the room until his eyes landed on China, who just looked incredibly pissed.
"Why doesn't anyone use the door, aru?" he groaned, giving a disparaging glance at the two fresh holes.
Japan ignored him. "Oniisan," he addressed is adoptive brother, looking down at his feet, "I… I rushed over here as fast as I could. I had this sudden urge… to tell you-"
He stopped, noting Jags' place in the room, along with Coolgirl, who had gone back to drinking her tea casually. "You!" he gasped, while Jags waved, "You were at America's home."
"Hello again," greeted Jags, as if they were old friends.
Japan and China had both adopted looks of confusion and fear, Japan going so far as to check himself for any noticeable feminine changes. The older country had used the lag in dialogue to snatch his doll away from Coolgirl, who seemed a bit distraught by her new friend's kidnapping.
"I'm not… er… next, miss?" said Japan warily, when he was satisfied with the lack of feminine qualities found.
Jags shook her head, waving it off with a hand, "Of course not. Do you really think I'd be in China's home if I were planning to change you? Sheesh, and I thought you were the smart one…"
While this comforted the island nation, allowing him to take a much needed sigh of relief, he knew that this meant she must be here for someone else. And being the calculating country that he was, Japan figured that if it wasn't him, it had to be the only other nation within eye contact, at whose house he had picked for a casual stopover. His brother.
Of course… why hadn't he assumed this from the start? Was Italy starting to rub off on him?
But this was the least of Japan's concerns. While he was normally indifferent to the insane predicaments his brother somehow always found himself in, China was still Japan's brother. And, courtesy of Jags' flawless writing and at Coolgirl's request, Japan was feeling a bit more lovey-dovey than usual today. So, he decided, once again, to try to resolve the situation.
He braced himself for another afternoon of awkward girly things. "You cannot alter my family, miss writers. I will not allow it."
China sniffled, looking over to Japan with a touched expression. "Little brother, aru… Does this mean… that you've finally accepted me as your-"
"If only in repayment of the money he lent me last week," Japan finished, making China sulk back to the table, where Coolgirl sat consoling the man.
Jags frowned at the man, looking down to check her watch. "Sorry bud, we don't have time for the 'family in important' monologue right now. See, we're already four pages into this, and time's running short. And that means, China has to get with the female, pronto. In fact…"
Jags tossed an important-looking device over to Coolgirl in the corner, who still had China's wet face pressed against her shoulder. She just barely caught it with her restricted arm, turning it over in her hands with a gleam in her eye.
She beamed, "Is this…?"
"Ohyes."
"So I can-!"
"Let'er rip."
Coolgirl squee'd, and happily obliged, reaching her thumb down excitedly for the inevitable transformation. But just before her finger could reach the knob, a katana came out to block the device. Coolgirl looked up dangerously, her eyes meeting Japan's. He gripped the sword in a heroic stance.
"Oh… you did not just do that." The young writer seethed, pulling the remote from underneath the katana and using it as her own makeshift sword.
"Yes, I did." Japan stated plainly, clearly not getting the joke at all, "I told you, I will not allow it."
Each of the offending parties stopped to stare for a moment, their arms at their side like a scene from an old western quick-draw. Jags even supplied a rolling tumbleweed for the full effect, an imaginary wind blowing the dust ball across the floor dramatically. China watched after the tumbleweed, wondering how in the world he was ever going to be able to pay for all of these expensive shenanigans.
Coolgirl put a slow hand to her remote/sword and gained a tight grip, making every man, woman, human, country, and plushie in the room freeze in anticipation. Japan watched blankly, both hands already wound around his katana.
"Dun duuuun… Dun dun dun duun." Began Jags softly in the backround, a tune she made up on the spot to give it just a hint of dramatic tension.
Coolgirl was the first to draw, her hand reaching lightning speeds as she whipped the remote across Japan's neck. But the nation was too fast for her, and had already moved his katana to block the offensive and return with a blow of his own.
Taking an opening to her left, Coolgirl went in for the kill, but was soon put back on the defensive when Japan took out his ninja throwing stars.
Jags and China sat at the tea table with Miss Kitty, watching them fight back and forth with muted interest. The battle was long and bloody, bits and pieces of remote and katana flying every which way, but the author was much too pressed for time to be able to describe such glorious combat. Finally, Jags took a lag in the fight as an opportunity to check her watch, realizing that her chapter was already close to six pages long.
"Oh jeez," she muttered to herself, "If I let this go on, there won't be a new chapter for at least another decade."
"Okay," she barked, sitting up, "Okay, hold it!"
Both parties immediately stopped to stare at her, Japan because he was truly frightened of the small girl, Coolgirl because her remote was almost smashed to pieces, anyway. Jags took a spare remote out of the air and handed it to Coolgirl, seeing the condition of the old one.
Coolgirl wasted no time in pressing the button this time, not even attempting to press it in slow motion for fear that Japan was going to strike at any moment. But Japan simply watched with an obvious look of frustration, his eyes flitting from the remote to Jags to his brother, then back to the remote again. It was clear that he had by now adopted some sort of phobia of Jags, and may be scarred for years to come. China, though alarmed, didn't seem as distraught as his brother- likely because he didn't know exactly what these girls were planning.
"Just wait till it's his turn," Coolgirl thought with a grin. Then he would see what real phobia could be.
The button came down, and a large cloud of smoke blanketed the room, leaving everyone except Miss Kitty (who had somehow, by this time, constructed herself a breathing apparatus) squinting and coughing heavily. But it eventually cleared, leaving the group not-so-stunned at the sight they witnessed.
Jags tilted her head, eyeing the new pony tailed guest up and down. "Are you… sure you pressed it?"
Coolgirl's brow furrowed, and she turned the remote over in her hands a few times. Jamming her thumb into the button and seeing no results, she huffed, "Jags, I think there's something wrong with your remote."
There China stood, same clothing, same long, dark pony tail his eyes clearly relieved, if not under whelmed… Nothing seemed different about the country, not in the slightest. At this, Jags scrambled to her laptop, scanning over the chapter with anxious eyes.
Could there be a crack in the system? Had China unknowingly hacked the database of female controls…?
It was then that she found her answer. Well, she didn't…
China, at that moment, just so happened to be a wee bit bored with waiting for the supposed 'bad thing' coming any minute. He folded his arms across his chest, and gave a heavy sigh, clearly ready to go about his business.
His eyes widened, his arms immediately uncrossed when he felt something that… was definitely not supposed to be there. Then, tentatively, he placed a hand back to the spot where he had felt the difference, just to make sure he wasn't imagining things. But, unfortunately for him, he was not.
"Er… Miss writers, aru?" His voice, although always feminine, came out a bit more high-pitched this time. This made China break into slight hysterics.
Both of the ladies looked up, noting the voice change at once. Jags gave a wide grin, only happy that there was no glitch, while Coolgirl threw down the remote to hug China excitedly.
"We did it!" she exclaimed, relief flooding into her voice as she strangled the newly female China.
Jags shrugged, "I knew there wouldn't be anything wrong with my chapter. He's just girly to begin with!"
"Maybe a bit different in the hips, and those small boobs, of course."
"Why didn't we think of that before?"
"Should've been our first guess!"
"Excuse me!" China fretted, finally able to pry an excited Coolgirl off of her waist, "Doesn't anyone else find this strange? I am a girl, aru!"
She looked around to each of her guests, none of those present looking the least bit surprised by the revelation, except perhaps Coolgirl, who had never seen this transformation until that moment.
"Er…" Jags started, "I guess I just imagined it would be more… drastic."
Japan nodded thoughtfully. Though his face was still a bit pale, it didn't affect him as much as it did when he was at America's home; maybe because he was used to it, or maybe because it wasn't such a difference. "Brother… You actually look very good this way."
"Really, aru?" China blushed, "Thank you, little brother."
He then looked over to where Miss Kitty had been sitting this whole time, staring, "And thank you for your kind look as well, Miss Kitty. But I think I must change back, aru."
Coolgirl's face turned into a pout. "Why? I like you this way. You look pretty good as a girl, I should say!"
"Yes, but," China objected, "I know that Russia will be coming for his daily tirade- I mean… visit, any minute now, aru. And… if he sees me as a girl…"
They were all silent for a moment, soaking in what China had implied.
"The condoms…" Jags whispered to herself, thinking about a particular episode she had seen wherein America orders condoms as a joke from Russia, "His… 'Little Russia'… Imagine the size…"
China nodded hurriedly, "Yes! And if he finds that I have become a girl, aru…"
"It's free reign," Coolgirl finished for him, looking equally disturbed.
Jags pondered this for a moment before looking up, a look of confidence replacing the worry. "No way… Russia? He wouldn't."
"Oh, he would," said China, dead serious.
"Well then," Coolgirl decided, "We'll just have to hide you! And I'll come with you, of course. You are my country, after all." She latched onto the nation's arm, quite pleased with her plan.
Jags shrugged, "This could work! Best plan we've got. And besides, we're doing Russia in a few chapters anyway, and I think he's doing some strange Rasputin thing with France right now. So we should be safe for now."
Coolgirl gave her a pointed look, coughing not-so-subtly.
"Oh!" Jags perked up, getting the message, "Or if you two just want some time to catch up, that's cool. I think Japan ran off somewhere. I have to look for him, anyway…"
Both seemed fine with this plan, although Jags was a tad bit offended by China's glare as she rushed out, making a fourth human-sized hole in the wall. Coolgirl waved her off, and she could hear a faintly animated bombardment of questions as she walked through the cherry blossoms.
Nonetheless, she sighed, knowing that next time wouldn't be much easier. "Switzerland…" she muttered when she flipped through the list, cringing.
She pressed a finger to her temple, feeling a migraine coming. "Maybe I'll just skip out on this one…"
"Gott! You're lazier than Gil!"
"Tybs groaned something inaudible into the pillows.
Germany continued to nag her, in her feminine voice.
Tybs lay still, but adjusted the pillow above her head.
"Get up!" She bellowed in the same demanding voice guy Germany would have.
"Nein!" Tybs23 screeched into the pillow. It was the only word in German she knew.
"No? No! Absolutely not. You vill get out of bed, and vork on your next chapter! I vant to be a male again!" Her German accent was so thick.
Ludwig picked up the clipboard, and glanced down at it. "Come on. France's is next. Vouldn't that be, uh, fun?"
Tybs remained unresponsive.
"Dat's it!" He pushed her off the bed.
Tybs hissed at the action, and landed on the carpeted floor.
She wearily gripped a pillow, and brought it under her, continuing her sleep on the floor.
"Ludwig help!"Gilbert called from down the hall – obvious in a panic.
With this, Tybs let out a series of swears, before she got up and down the hall.
The site she saw, would make Hetalia history.
She ran back in her room, to grab a pen and her clipboard, and got down what she just saw.
Then, she ran back outside to help Gilbert.
"Oh, hon hon hon. Gilbert. You look fantastic! Just one kiss. Don't make me beg, ma cherie."
Running down the hall, was a very frantic girl Gilbert, running from the taller Frenchman.
"Rape! Rape!" Gilbert went off like a siren.
"Tybs, you gotta help!"
"Tybs? Oh, who is this Tybs?"
Francis said, grabbing her hand, and placing a firm kiss on it.
"Wow, you're really creepy."
"Isn't he?" Gilbert said, as she came to hide behind Tybs.
"Ah, you two are so beautiful, no?"
And, just like that, the creep passed out.
As he fell, it was revealed that the reason he fainted was none other than Germany punching him in the head.
"Blitz!" Gilbert cheered and patted his little sister on the back.
"Even as a chick, you'd still top Italy." To this Germany blushed, and Tybs scribbled it on her clipboard. She could use that for later.
"Okay, France is next."
"So, if France turns into a girl, I wouldn't get raped by him anymore."
"You probably will."
Suddenly Gilbert was gone behind Tybs' door, the click of the lock was heard.
"Now, before I go, how was he made, and than you?"
"He was dropped, many times."
"I heard that."
"It's only true!"
"But don't tell her that."
Tybs giggled at this.
"Good bye Germany. Have fun topping Italy."
She blushed and turned away.
Tybs was left in the hallway – gazing at the passed out France.
She had to do this quick.
TYbs grabbed his feet, and began to drag him done the hallway to the basement where her and Jags work their fanfiction magic. After a few stairs, she arrived, and set the man's body on the floor.
"Alright. I gotta make this quick. Portal of the Fangirls! I demand you bring me Regis Filia at once!" She commanded. A flapper hat appeared, than a pool of blond hair appeared."
"And hello. Welcome to Germany's estate."
She looked a bit afraid to take her hand, but she did.
"Did you know Germany started World War I because they were in control of industrialization in Europe?"
"Really?"
The girl nodded.
"Well. 'Nuff 'bout Germany. Tis here is France." She pointed to the body on the floor.
"Is he okay?"
"Just knocked out. Oh man! You should have been here for it."
"Did you know the French Revolution was mainly started by rumors that King Louis was going to hire assassins to kill everyone in France?"
"Um, no. Wow, that's really stupid."
"Well, the rumor first started out as the King hiring professionals to kill the Third Estate, which was filled with peasants whose vote would always be out-ruled by the first two estates. It lead people to believe that he was just going to kill everyone. And with this, the Storming of the Bastille, or the only place in France where weapons and ammunitions were tangible, took place where all the civilians bared arms to protect themselves. All the while, King Louis was vacationing with his wife in Versailles."
"But if King Louis was in Germany, how could he be planning an army."
Princess just shook her head with no answer.
"Wow."
"I know."
"Anyway -" Tybs said plucking a wand from her desk.
"With this, male France will be no more." She pointed it skyward, and was about to zap France, when Princess interupted.
She pointed to the wand. "May I?"
"By all means."
She handed her the wand, and watched as France grew shorter, and a quite femine body.
"Francisa, wake up!" Tybs said repeatedly slapping his face.
He woke up, and was forced in the closet by the two girls, who were giggling.
"Oh Russia~" Princess called.
Being she is a fangirl, with the power or fangirlism, she was able to summon the scary country. She handed him a sink pipe, and let out a fangirl scream as he 'koled.'
"Alright, Russia, France is in there -"
"Vhenever I look at his stupid face, I imagine pounding it to dust."
Both girls looked at each other, and practically danced. "He quoted Hetalia!" They both giggled, as they let him in the closet with France.
We are back! I felt like I updated a freakin; week ago! Wow!
We're sorry for the delay. But we are back and running.
Before, I go, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, commented, and favorited.
It's nice.
Anyway, next chapter is Switz and Romano. I know your looking forward to it!
Jags and Tybs, signing out . =D