Chapter 2: Let the games begin
A/N: Alright, in this chapter I am going to continue with the original story. Next chapter, however, will be part two of 'The Forbidden Door' where your sadistic pleasure will be turned towards the legendary Sannin: Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru. Please, please, pretty please review (even if it's anonymous). Reviews will keep me warm and I need all the warmth I can get, seeing as its winter
*Friendly warning* I will be ripping on some of the characters in humorous ways. If you don't want that to happen well then press the back button and read something else.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...So can I own Gaara?
Dedication: To my friend XxGoddess AthenaxX, for being my BETA reader. Also, thanks for introducing me to your family's crazy version of '30 Seconds' and for giving me kick ass ideas! I heart you my friend.
Last but not least, I want to thank Makseryon and 5511narusaku4eva who reviewed. I hope you enjoy this chapter. : )
Arigato minna-san!
Recap: 15 ninjas are captured and are forced by Shavaun to play a game of 30 seconds. Shavaun is a psychotic brunette who has an unhealthy crush/obsession with Gaara.
She has just appointed Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya as the team leaders. Are the rest of the shinobi happy about this? HELL NO!
The three team leaders, Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya stood before the crazy brunette, awaiting their orders. Shavaun pointed to where each leader must stand and then turned to the rest of the shinobi. Consulting the piece of paper before her, she called out each individuals name and placed them into their teams.
"So in Team 1 we have Naruto, Gaara, Sasuke, Tsunade and Hidan."
She turned to the second group and bellowed, "Team 2 will consist of Jiraiya, Shino, Chōji, Tobi and Orochimaru."
Both Uchiha brothers gave a silent sigh of relief. At least they didn't have to be stuck with the snake paedophile.
"And lastly" the brunette continued, "Team 3. Sakura, Shikamaru, Neji, Kisame and Ita..."
"Shavaun-san!" Naruto interrupted, "That's not fair! All the smart people are on team 3!" The blonde folded his arms and pouted.
"Hmm, you have a point there Naruto. Tobi!" she barked at the orange masked boy. "Switch teams with Itachi!"
"Yay! Tobi's happy! Tobi gets to be in the same team as the pretty pink lady!" He squealed as he merrily skipped towards his new group.
Itachi, on the other hand, solemnly trudged towards team 2. His red eyes glared at Naruto. I'm going to kill that blond bastard! He thought angrily. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk at his brother's demise. He turned to his Uzumaki comrade and slapped him on the back, "Dobe, when we get out of here, I'm going to treat you to some ramen"
"Teme, You mean it?" shouted the energetic blond and punched the air excitedly.
"Alright! Team leaders, you and you alone must decide on a name for your group." The brunette barked.
"Shavaun-san. I already have a name picked out" the pinkette raised her hand in the air.
"What is it Sakura-san?"
Sakura glanced at her raven haired crush and blushed. Her inner squealed and fainted. "Team Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked. She punched the air with one hand while the other rested on her hip, trying to look like a cheerleader.
"Mendoukusei! So we are basically going to cheer for the opposing team. Troublesome woman." Shikamaru groaned.
"Alright, Team Sasuke-kun it is." Shavaun stated, scribbling it down on her clipboard. "Jiraiya-sama, do you have your name picked out yet?"
"Yosh! I am going to honour all the woman who can't resist my beauty and name my team..." He moved his leg back and extended his arm, forming his typical Jiraiya pose. "...Boobies" he completed his sentence.
Naruto's eyes began to twitch, "Ero-sennin, you are such a pervert" he spoke solemnly.
"I AM NOT A PERVERT! I AM...A SUPER PERVERT!" he exclaimed, flashing the peace sign.
"Baka!" Tsunade's voice shouted as she punched Jiraiya on his head, knocking him down on the ground.
The white haired Sannin slowly rose to his feet, rubbing the small bump that had now appeared on his head. "Grumpy old bat" he mumbled to himself.
"O...K. Team Boobies it is, I suppose. Naruto?"
"Hai, Shavaun-san! We will be known as 'The Fellowship of the Ramen'!" he shouted, licking his lips.
Sasuke smacked his forehead. Trust the dobe to come up with an idiotic name like that.
These people are weird...like me! Shavaun thought to herself. "Okay, everyone please take a seat around the table."
The ninja's did as they were told. Orochimaru seated himself next to Itachi. The snake Sannin stared at him, his long tongue slid across his lips. Itachi, feeling uncomfortable, inched his chair away from the paedophile.
Meanwhile, Gaara hadn't been seated yet. He spotted an empty chair beside Shavaun. She waved her hand frantically , beckoning him to sit next to her. Sighing, he strolled over to the only empty seat and solemnly sat down. He nervously glanced at her psychotic face. Her eyes had grown wide and a toothy grin was plastered on her face as she eyed him up and down. She giggled as a blush formed on her cheeks. Gaara whipped out his teddy bear and cuddled with it. Help me teddy-chan he sent a telepathic message to the bear.
"Let's get this party started!" she beamed, glancing at the three teams. "We all know the rules right? Okay, Fellowship of the Ramen, choose your token colour and roll the dice."
Naruto grabbed an orange token and placed it on the starting block. He then took hold of the dice and rolled a two. His team groaned at the bad luck.
"Don't mess this up little fucker." Hidan scowled.
Naruto took a deep breath and reached for a card. He turned the card over to examine the names on the blue area. He looked at Sakura, who was holding the mini hourglass and nodded. She then turned it upside down, allowing the white sand to run to the bottom.
First word is chakra. Now how do I explain that? He asked himself, scratching his head.
"Uhm, this is that blue and red light thingy that we have. It helps us every day to become powerful." He grinned at what he thought was a good explanation. His team members were silenced, clueless about what Naruto was talking about.
Naruto tried again, "I use it for my Kage Bunshin no Jutsu"
"Techniques? Hand seals?" Tsunade suggested.
"No! No! No! It's those light thingys!" The blond shouted, stamping his feet.
"Dobe, move on to the next word. We have about 15 seconds left." Sasuke shook his head.
He looked down at the next word and grinned to himself. He can easily describe this one! "Obaa-chan hates doing this"
"Paperwork!" Everyone except Hidan shouted.
"Hai! Hai! Ok, next... this is..."
"TIME!" yelled Sakura.
His team groaned. They weren't off to a very good start.
Shavaun reached out and moved their orange token forward. Everyone looked at her in confusion.
"Why the hell did you move them forward? They didn't guess three answers correctly!" Kisame complained, his beady eyes glared at her.
"Because I thought it was a good effort" she winked at Gaara. "Team...boobies, you're next."
After choosing the red token, Jiraiya rolled the dice which landed on 1. His team cheered at the number and anxiously waited for their leader to start describing.
After the hour glass was flipped, he started immediately, "When you want to thrust into your lover...I'm looking for a synonym" He looked nervously at Tsunade who was cracking her knuckles.
"Bang?" Orochimaru suggested, while looking lustfully at Itachi.
"Hai! And you bang with your...?"
"Bangkok" Shino murmured, shaking his head.
"Hai! Ok, next one, Japanese cartoon?"
"Anime" answered Chōji, munching on his chocolate bar.
"Yes! Okay these are little blue cartoon people and are most probably related to Kisame" Jiraiya chuckled to himself.
"The smurfs?" Itachi mumbled.
"TIME!" Sakura once again called out.
"Yosh!" shouted Jiraiya triumphantly, moving their token two spaces forward.
"Team Sasuke-kun, you're up" Shavaun announced.
Sakura chose the pink token [Surprised?] and then proceeded to roll the dice.
"Nooooooooooooo!" screamed Tobi as he looked at the zero that Sakura had rolled, "We get nothing! Tobi sad!" He folded his arms and slumped in his chair.
"No Tobi, zero is a good number in this game" Sakura explained.
"Oh, well then Tobi is happy! Yay Sakura!" he clapped his hands enthusiastically.
Sakura sighed and grabbed a card and waited for the timer to start.
"A Malaysian fashion designer that specialises in crafting handmade shoes for woman. He makes the most fabulous high heels."
"Jimmy Choo's?" Neji spoke up.
"Correct" Sakura beamed.
He flushed as his team members stared at him. "I have a girl cousin you know?" he said.
"Guy's focus!" Sakura commanded, "This little baby has the power to make people fall in love with each other by shooting arrows at them." 'And I'm still waiting for him to shoot Sasuke-kun' her inner growled.
"Cupid" Shikamaru sighed, looking bored.
"Correct! An ancient civilization that extends over a large part of East Asia."
"China", Shikamaru and Neji answered.
"An ancient box that once contained all the world's diseases"
"Pandora's box" Neji replied.
"Hai! The great white shark loves these cold waters."
"The Atlantic ocean!" Kisame grinned, baring his shark like teeth.
"Chyyyyyaaaaaa! We've got all five correct!" Sakura cried gleefully. She extended her arm out in the middle of the air, "come on, bring it in."
Her team reluctantly placed their hands on top of Sakura's. "Go team Sasuke-kun!" she shouted as she lifted her hand in the air. The males sweat dropped and retracted their hands in silence. Shikamaru leaned forward and moved their pink token five spaces.
"Our turn!" Naruto yelled, pushing Sasuke forward. Sasuke sighed as he rolled the little white cube. Zero.
"Way to go Sasuke!" Sakura cheered but kept quiet as soon as her team glared at her.
Sasuke smirked and picked up a card and flipped it over to the yellow side.
"This is a classic movie revolving around a two lovers and a sinking ship" he explained.
"Titanic" said Tsunade, flicking her blonde hair back.
"Oh I remember that movie, it was your favourite Sasuke. You watched it 50 times a day." Itachi stated calmly.
Sasuke glared at his brother, shooting daggers from his eyes. He ignored the snickers in the room and continued with the game, "What does Naruto love?"
"Ramen!" the team chorused.
"We suspect Orochimaru is a chi..."
"Paedophile!" his team answered before Sasuke could finish his sentence.
"Time!" Tobi shouted, looking at the timer.
Sasuke moved the orange token 3 spaces forward.
"Shino, why don't you go next?" Jiraiya proposed.
The Aburame bushed his dark sunglasses up his nose and reached for the dice. He too rolled a zero.
"Well done Shino!" Chōji congratulated him.
With the card in his hand, Shino cleared his throat, "I don't like to repeat the same thing twice, so listen up. This arthropod is a type of Hymenoptera. It's part of the Formicidae family."
Silence invaded the room as everyone stared bluntly at Shino.
"Uhm, Cake?" Chōji responded.
"No! Why would you think that?" Shino sweat dropped.
"I'm hungry" the Akimichi complained, rubbing his stomach.
"Go to the next word" Jiraiya commanded.
"No! I want you to guess this word, it's so easy!" Shino sulked, folding his arms. He tried explaining again, "their antenna is elbowed and they have chewing mouthparts. They also have a beautiful constricted waist."
A few more seconds of silence passed by before "Time!" was shouted.
"It was an ANT you incompetent imbeciles!" Shino growled as he angrily slammed his fist on the table. "You do know what that is, don't you?" he added sarcastically before sitting down.
"Moving on," said Sakura. "I think Shikama..."
"Oooh! Oooh! Let Tobi go next! Tobi is a good boy!" the masked boy stuck his hand up in the air and bounced up and down excitedly.
"Alright Tobi, roll the dice"
He picked up the little white cube and threw a zero. "Yay! Tobi is good at this game!" he shouted as he reached for a card.
"You ready Tobi?" asked Naruto who now had the hour glass in his hands. After a vigorous nod from the boy, Naruto flipped the timer. "Go!" yelled the blond.
Tobi took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his voice, "South Africa! Mamma Mia! The Commonwealth Games! 007! Malcolm X! Yay Tobi can read! Tobi is a good boy!"
After yet another moment of silence, Sakura started screaming at the poor boy, "Tobi! You idiot! You were suppose to describe what was on the card, not read out the answers! Haven't you been paying attention throughout this whole game?"
Kisame slapped Tobi on the side of the head, "Baka!" he hissed.
Tobi folded his arms and sulked. "Ow! Tobi is sorry, really sorry. Please forgive Tobi" he begged, rubbing his head.
"Alright I'm going next!" Hidan pushed past Naruto and seized the dice. After rolling a zero he grinned. "Fuck yeah!"
The grin grew wider as he saw the names on his card. "Alright, the first one is a movie starring Eddie Murphy. And upon reading this title I suspect that it's based on that fat kid's mother." He pointed towards Chōji.
"Big momma's house!" Tobi piped up.
"Shut up! You are not supposed to give the opposing team the answers!" Kisame growled as he slapped Tobi again.
"Uh, Big Momma's house?" Naruto repeated.
"Correct! This cartoon character is fucking fat. He wears blue and white striped pants and has superhuman strength. He also has a small dog named Dogmatix" He looked at Chōji, "Is this your Father kid?"
"Ooooh! Ooooh! Tobi knows the answer! That's Obelix!"
"Tobi shut up!" Shikamaru snapped.
"Obelix?" Naruto once again repeated.
"Correct! Now let's see if there are more of that fat fuck's family listed on this card." Said Hidan as he scanned the card.
Chōji, who had tried to stay calm this entire time, ran at full speed towards the Jashin follower and attacked him.
After allowing Chōji to repeatedly punch Hidan in the face, Tsunade finally stood up to pry the Akimichi of the Akatsuki member.
"Chōji! Calm down!" she barked, throwing him back onto his seat.
"Here Chōji, why don't you have a go?" said Jiraiya, trying to distract him.
Giving one final glare at Hidan, the Akimichi picked up the dice and rolled a 1.
"This is a type of chocolate that has a creamy nougat and caramel centre. The slogan is 'for a 25 hour day' " Chōji explained, his mouth watering.
''bar-one!" Tobi piped up.
"Tobi I'm warning you now, shut up or else!" Sakura warned, cracking her knuckles.
"Bar-one" said Itachi.
"Hai! This female sings in the band the Black Eyed Peas"
"Fergie!" Jiraiya shouted, licking his lips. He blushed as he thought about the celebrity's body.
"Yes! Ok, this thing is very small and eats a lot. When it's done eating it builds a wrappy thingy and sleeps in it. When it's done sleeping it comes out looking very pretty!" he looked at Shino, expecting him to answer.
The rest of Team Boobies immediately turned towards Tobi, looking for an answer. Disappointment washed over them as they saw Kisame's blue hand covering Tobi's mouth.
"Time!" shouted Sakura, pointing at the sand.
Chōji placed the card back in the box and calmly sat down.
"Chōji? What was the answer?" asked Shino, curious.
"It was a butterfly. I'm surprised you didn't get it Shino"
Shino smacked his forehead. I'm surrounded by idiots
What's with this team and insects? Itachi wondered.
Chills suddenly shivered up his spine as he realized he was being watched. His eyes momentarily turned to the right, and caught a glimpse of Orochimaru still staring at him. Where was his sword when he needed it? He turned his head away from the snake Sannin. Maybe if I just ignore him he'll leave me alone.
A hot breath unexpectedly caressed his neck. Itachi froze in place as he heard a voice say, "I can't decide whose body I want more. Yours or your brothers" a long tongue traced the outside of his ear, drenching it in saliva. Itachi's eyes darted towards his younger brother. He inwardly scowled as he saw Sasuke watching him and smirking at his predicament.
Itachi's fist rose up from his robe and punched Orochimaru in the face. The snake Sannin stumbled backwards, stunned. A grin suddenly emerged upon his bruised face as took pleasure in the pain. He returned to his seat, "A feisty one are we? I like it." He purred, as his long tongue snaked out.
Team Sasuke-kun, who were watching his whole scene, turned a little green. Vomit threatened to escape their throats.
"Let's just continue with the game, neh?" Sakura suggested, distracting her team.
They nodded their heads in agreement.
Sakura grabbed the dice and handed them over to Neji. The Hyuga threw a 2. He picked up a card and studied each names on the card, strategising how he was going to describe the names.
"A sharks greatest enemy." He said, looking at Kisame.
"The dolphins" Kisame growled, clenching his fists.
"That is correct." The brunette then turned towards to the lazy Shikamaru who had fallen asleep on the table.
Sakura smacked the Nara on the side of the head, "Shikamaru! Wake up!"
"Mendoukusei" Shikamaru grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"Shikamaru-san. You should be able to guess this answer correctly." Said Neji. "This is a type of strategical game that consists of..."
"Chess" Shikamaru yawned before resting his head back onto the table.
Neji nodded his head, "This next one is..."
"Time!" yelled Naruto, his eyes glued to the hourglass.
"Okay well, I say it's time for a break. Teams may huddle and discuss their strategies while I go to the little crazy girl's room" said Shavaun, standing up from her seat.
"Wait! Will there be snacks?" Chōji asked hopeful.
"Sorry, no. If you really are hungry then feel free to eat someone in the room" Shavaun suggested before dashing off to the bathroom.
Chōji's eyes immediately fell upon Hidan. He licked his lips as he thought of all the Jashin dishes that would taste delicious.
"Chōji, focus!" Jiraiya commanded.
"Gomenasai." He apologised and joined the rest of his team.
They huddled in a small circle, trying to block out any eavesdroppers.
"We are getting nowhere in this game!" Jiraiya pounded a fist in his hand.
"...And as much as I hate to admit this," said Sakura, eyeing her team mates.
"There is only one way we can get this game over and done with! And I want to end it so that I can go get my ramen!" Naruto exclaimed.
"We are going to have to cheat!" The team leaders chimed.
A/N: And that's the end of the chapter. To be honest, I'm starting to grow tired of this fanfic. But to those of you who have alerted and favoured this story, I'm going to persevere just for you. : )
So far the score is as follows:
Fellowship of the Ramen – 6 spaces
Team Boobies – 5 spaces
Team Sasuke-kun – 5 spaces
Next chapter: The forbidden door.
(And all I can say is that you Jiraiya's torture method is going to have you on the floor laughing. On that note, I need some help writing Orochimaru's torture method. If you have any ideas, please leave it in a review or PM me. It will be greatly appreciated.)
Pretty please review. I always get all these hits to my story but people don't bother to review. It may be anonymous if you wish.