Chapter 3
April 17, 1969
There are only a few weeks left before Julie moves away. I want to do something special for her, but I don't know what. Mum doesn't have any ideas either. So I think that I'll end up making her something really special. I don't have enough time to crochet her a blanket, but that's ok. I'm horrible at crocheting. I'll just have to think about it some more.
We have been given the most funest project ever at school! We were told to pick a member in the family that we want to know more about and write a paper about them. What their life was like. What made them who they are. And why we picked them. Well it's certainly not hard for me to figure out who I want to research. Great-great Grandma Clarissa. Let's see. What do I know about her? Well, she had red hair and green eyes like me. She had a daughter named, hmm I don't know. I'll ask Daddy. Anyway, she had a granddaughter named Louise, that's my granna and Daddy's mum. Clarissa died young. And it was very mysterious. Her daughter hardly remembers her. Oh good! Daddy's home! I can ask him some questions!
"Daddy," I exclaimed as I ran down the stairs. "We have the most awesome project for school and I need your help!"
"Slow down Lily-girl. What do you need me to build you?"
"Nothing. I have questions for you to answer."
"Very well then, let's go sit down on the sofa and ask away, but first why don't you tell me all about this project."
We settled onto the sofa and I told him that I needed to write a paper about a family member and I'd picked his great-grandma Clarissa. With a grin, he nodded at me to continue. I think that he knew as soon as he heard the details of the project who I would pick. Anyway. "You'd told me that Clarissa had died young. How old was she when she died? What year was that? When was she born? What's your grandmother's name? Who did she marry? Does Granna have anything that will help me with this paper? Or can we go to the library and I try to find some stuff?"
"Whoa there Lily-girl. I'll answer as many as your questions as I can, I promise. Of course we'll go see your grandmother and go to the library. Maybe over the weekend. We'll see. Now first, my grandmother's name was Allena, but everyone called her 'Lena.' She was only 3 years old when her mother died. So that means that Clarissa died in 1877. And yes she was young, only nineteen. If I'm figuring out the math right, Clarissa was born in 1858. My grandmother used to tell me stories about how her mother had spent her life in a small village in Wales. That is until she met the man she later married. After Clarissa's death, her husband took their small daughter and moved to the English countryside. Grandmother would tell me that he rarely spoke of her mother except to tell her to watch herself so that she wouldn't end up like her mother. She thought that her father wanted to erase all traces of Clarissa and her life. That's one of the reasons that Grandmother was called 'Lena' instead of Allena. Lena made for a much more proper sounding English name and not a Welsh one. Anything else that you need for your paper, we'll have to go to your grandmother's. I can only just remember the stories that my grandmother would tell me of her early years. I'm sure that Mum knows more and may even have some journals or things for you to look through."
"Thanks Daddy. I want to know all I can about Clarissa."
The way I figured things out was that the more I know about Clarissa, then the more likely I am to find out something about myself too.
Always,
Lily
April 23, 1969
The weekend was packed full with things! Daddy and I went to the library on Friday to find out some information about Great-great Grandma Clarissa. There wasn't much. Just an article in the paper saying that Clarissa Dale died in her home on Sunday June 25, 1877. We did get to get a copy of the article. Daddy said it was actually her obituary. I don't know what that means, but he told me that it's the notice that the paper prints when somebody dies. Here's what hers said: 'Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale died in her home on Sunday the 25th of June in the year of our Lord 1877. She was found by her husband, Jerome Dale, a local carpenter. Details surrounding her death have not been released. It is assumed that she died quietly. Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale was born on 10th May 1858 in Carmarthen to Brychan and Eleri Breese, the 7th and youngest child of their union. She married Jerome Dale of Dover, England in 1873 and gave birth to a daughter in 1874. The Dales settled in Brecon in 1875. Mrs. Dale is survived by her husband, Jerome, and her three year old daughter, Allena. Services were held privately at St. Thomas's Chapel on Tuesday. Mr. Dale has since left the area with his daughter to return to his family in England.' Well, that's certainly not very helpful other than telling me that Clarissa was born in Wales and that her husband moved back to England after her death. I wonder why he left.
Anyway on Saturday, Daddy took me over to Granna Louise's house. She had cookies. She told Daddy to come back for me later since he wouldn't want to hear all the stories she was going to tell me! She took me into the cozy living room and began telling me what she knew about her grandmother.
"Lily," she started out. "I can only tell you what my mum had told me about your great-great grandmother. She died when my mum was 3 years old. I grew up listening to stories of Mum's early years in Brecon, Wales. Mum always told me that her mother was beautiful. She had long flowing red hair and fiery green eyes. Like emeralds she remembers Grandpa referring to them as. She was a kind woman. She loved the children in the village and would be frequently found in the green playing with one or five of them. Grandpa didn't like to talk about her very much. He was always afraid that Mum would end up just like her."
"End up just like her? What does that mean," I needed to know.
"I think that he meant that her death. It was very mysterious. She was so young. There wasn't any real reason as to why she died. She just did. But I digress. Back to Clarissa. Clarissa had what is often referred to as the Second Sight. She would get visions and premonitions about things to come. Mum said that the people in the village put more faith in her visions than in what the vicar would say in church on Sundays. It made the vicar mad, but he realized that Clarissa didn't ask for the villagers to exalt her the way that they did. Clarissa was an accomplished nurse. She used all sorts of herbal remedies and things to cure all sorts of illnesses. Mum remembers times when her mother would take a look at a broken bone, touch it, and all of a sudden it looked as good as new. No, it wasn't a miracle. It was just something that she did. She would do other odd things too. But they were just things that she did to help others out. Grandpa always said that Breeses were an odd family. But they were loved."
"Granna, how did Clarissa learn to read?"
"I've always believed that her mother taught her. I think that she did go off to school for a few years. And while she was gone, she met my grandfather. It was love at first sight for them both. He fell in love with her beauty and her gentleness. She loved his ability to create things. And that he accepted her for who she was. Her parents didn't approve of her marrying someone so very different than them. So they ran away and married in secret. When her parents found out, they were furious, but it was too late. Clarissa was already expecting Mum. So her parents decided to accept the way things were and allowed Clarissa and Grandpa to live with them until the baby was born. Unfortunately for them, Clarissa had a hard time delivering Mum and was ill for several months afterwards. When she recovered, Grandpa decided it was time for them to move and they moved to Brecon. I think that he'd actually planned to move on back to England, but Clarissa loved her Welsh homeland so much that he couldn't deny her anything.
"Mum found among her father's things when he died a book that he'd kept all through the years. She was curious and opened it up and found a letter from Clarissa to Grandpa. She let me have it just before she died. Would you like for me to read it to you Lillian?"
I couldn't help but nod wide-eyed at Granna Louise. Perhaps I'd get a few answers.
"'Darling Jerome, Thank you for loving me through these difficult years. I realize that things haven't been easy on you. Especially since you met me and my family. We can't help what we are. I know you've accepted me, but my parents always wanted me to marry one of my own kind. I don't love you any less because you're not one of us. In fact, I love you more. Should something happen to me, I want you to take our daughter far away from here and my family. She'll be better off not knowing what exactly my family is. I wish now that I'd not stopped you from taking us to England after Allena was born. I know you understood though how much I loved Wales. Thank you for giving up your dream to settle here with me.
I still can't tell you exactly what I am, though I'm sure you have probably figured it out. Especially if Allena or the baby- yes that's right, we're having another child! Especially if either Allena or the babe display my abilities. Should they do, please go to London. There will be friends there who can help.
Oh dearest. I am so excited about this new babe! I know that it's a risk to my health to have another child, but dear one, don't worry. I shall be fine. I so want to give you a strong strapping son to carry on the family name. Don't be angry with me my love. You've told me over and over that Allena is more than enough for you. Yet I see the yearning in your eyes when I am playing the children on the green or holding a babe while visiting with the ladies after church on Sundays. I did something to ensure that I'd be able to become a mother again. It's what you want most in the world my love. Darling, this child will be born this winter. I know that.
Oh dearest, I love you so much! I canna stand being away from you for even a moment, but I must go. The children call to me.
I am, and shall remain, your faithful beloved wife,
Clarissa Mauve Breese Dale'"
"Wow. That was quite a letter," I told Granna.
"Yes, my child it was. The saddest part is that she wrote this letter only days before she died."
"So she was pregnant when she died?"
"Yes. Here Lily, it's yours to keep."
I treasured the letter. After Granna handed it to me, I gently folded it into my jeans pocket. And now, it's tucked safely inside the pages of you, my diary. Poor Clarissa. She lived a tragic life. I think that I have enough information for my paper now.
Always,
Lily
Hermione thumbed through the pages looking for the letter. When she found it, she glanced at it very carefully. She wanted to see if by chance Lily's writing had been wrong and Clarissa did admit that she was a witch. It certainly seemed to be an obvious conclusion to be drawn from the things that Lily had written about. But no, it said nothing about being a witch. She read through it again and felt so sad for Harry's great-great-great grandmother who had died pregnant. And so young. Evidently young tragic deaths ran in his family. His parents. Lily's great-great grandmother Clarissa. She could only hope that history would not repeat itself again with him.
Shaking her head, she moved on to the next entry.
May 10, 1969
I got an A on my paper about Great-great Grandma Clarissa. Mrs. Levine was very impressed with all the detail that I'd put into it. She wanted to know if I had ever thought of becoming a writer or a reporter. I had to laugh. Yes, I had fun digging into my family's past and finding information out about Clarissa. I felt much like Nancy Drew on one of her cases. But, I don't want to write or be a reporter. That's just such a boring job. I want to do something fun. Something that will help others. Maybe be a nurse or a teacher. I don't know.
Julie moves on Saturday. Her mum has managed to convince the school to allow her to take exams early so that she can join her dad in America straight-away. I really don't want Julie to go away. I'm going to miss her so much. She's been like a balm to my hurt spirit ever since Petunia and I stopped really speaking to each other. I'm going to give Julie a bracelet much like the one that she gave me. Only instead of it being sliver and being a charm bracelet, it will be gold with our names engraved in jade across it. I want it to say on one side of the place where our names are at "Distance preserves friendship." I want the other side to say "Lillian "Lily" Michelle Evans & Julie Irene Lawndale, Faithful friends. 1969." I told Mum about it and she thinks it sounds like a beautiful idea.
I think I'm going to try to spend the summer talking Daddy into letting me be tutored next school year. Without Julie with me, I'm going to be truly alone. I know that I'll have an easier time talking Daddy into letting me not go to school than I will Mum. Daddy can then talk Mum into it. I think it would be better for me to be tutored. I can't go back to school without Julie. And besides, we'd have less likely of a chance of my having accidents again and again if I get to be tutored at home. I'll have to plan my approach carefully.
Always,
Lily
July 25, 1969
This summer has been pretty horrid. Julie's not here. Petunia and I don't do anything together anymore. I feel like I have no friends left in the world. Next term at school doesn't appear to be looking up any either. I'm doing everything that I can to convince Mum and Dad to allow me to be tutored. I think that Daddy's all for it. He likes to have me around at home. I'm his little princess and he spoils me terribly. Mum's thinking about it. She knows it's the safest place for me so that I don't cause any more accidents at school, but she's worried about how much I will actually do my school work. I think I can promise her that my schoolwork won't suffer. Especially if I'm given projects like the one I did on Clarissa. Petunia's been complaining that it isn't fair that I get to do what ever I want when I want to. She thinks that I need to stay at the school and just deal with the fact that I have no friends. But, you know what? I don't get to do whatever I want. It's not like I always ask for this thing or that thing and Mum and Dad get it for me! In fact, I often find myself wishing that I could do some of the things that Petunia gets to do, like stay out past 9:00 and spend weekends at a friend's. But no. I can't. Mum and Dad are afraid that I will do something and want to keep me close. I find it sorta annoying, really.
Always,
Lily
Hermione had to laugh as she read about Lily's words about not being able to do the things that Petunia got to do. How well she remembered the awkward days of young childhood before receiving her own Hogwarts letter and having her life changed in an instant. With another chuckle, she turned the page to the next entry.
September 5, 1969
Oh my goodness! I can't believe that I actually managed to convince Mum to allow me to be tutored at home this year! Petunia didn't think I'd be able to, and I fully expected to find myself back at junior school this year instead of being taught at home, but Mum gave in at the end! This is absolutely wonderful! My new tutor is named Mr. Goshen. I'm a little nervous about meeting him, but he comes highly recommended to us, and Daddy always says that nothing but the best for his little Lily-girl. Anyway, Mr. Goshen will be arriving tomorrow morning, so I have to be ready for school starting then. I wonder what sort of a schedule he's going to make me keep? Will he be cruel? What sorts of projects will I be asked to do? Will I be asked to make some presentations? What about outings? Will we make trips to the zoo or to London to the museums? I'm too excited to be doing what I should be doing right now, and that's sleeping! So, I'm writing. I think I'm rather running on at the moment, but if I can't sleep why not write in you, diary.
Let's see. What else can I write about? Hmmmm. I know! Let me tell you about Petunia's birthday. She turned 12 on Friday. It was right before she left to go back to her school. She's my sister, so of course I got her something. I don't think that she liked it very much. It's almost as if she doesn't want me around her anymore. And I know it's because I'm different. I look different, and do strange things that I can't explain. All she wants is to be normal. Anyway, back to my present. I got her a book about New York and the shows on the street called Broadway. It had lots of pictures in it and I wrote in the beginning of it "Petunia, May all the dreams that we shared come true one day. Lily." I really don't think that she liked it. Oh she was impressed with it because it was about New York, but because it came from me, well, yeah. Not her favorite present.
Daddy told me that Granna Louise is sick. I hope she gets better. She's my favorite grandmother. Yes, I know she's my only grandmother, but that still means that she's my favorite. Maybe she just has a cold or something. All I know is that she tells some of the most wonderful stories ever!
Oh no! I hear Daddy on the stairs! I know he's about to come in here to see why I'm still up and not sleeping and getting my "beauty sleep!" I'd better go!
Always,
Lily