Chapter Four: Degree Four: A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
Things were tense between Darcy and Steve over the next couple of days. Neither avoided the other; it hadn't done any good the last time so why bother; but still the two hadn't fallen back into their normally easy friendship. Everyone around the tower noticed, but all besides Bucky believed it had something to do with sexual tension. All those rooting for Steve in the pool waited eagerly.
Bucky of course knew what was going on, and he just thought his best friends had lost their minds. He had hoped after speaking to them both they would come to their senses, he really should have known better. Steve had always been a stubborn bastard; it was in fact how he ended up where he was now. Everyone had always been so ready to write Bucky off as the troublemaker between the two of them, mostly he figured it was because of Steve's size. Funnily enough it had always been Steve pulling stupid ass stunts making Bucky save his idiotic hide.
It seemed that the serum, the years on the ice, and age hadn't changed him one bit. Bucky could see it in his eyes, in the way Steve looked at Darcy and the expression on his face whenever Pepper walked into the room. Steve was fucking thinking about it, and the current situation wasn't helping matters. He could seriously kill Tony Stark sometimes.
"I've got pictures for everyone!" Tony swanned into the common room, because Tony Stark never just walked anywhere, waving about a yellow envelope in his hands. He might have been a bit excited, alright, a lot excited as he had rushed upstairs without waiting for Pepper. Which was something he was sure to hear about, but at the moment he couldn't care less and simply spilled the contents of the envelope onto the coffee table.
Everyone watched on as several black and white photos slipped over the glass top, a couple falling onto the floor. Tony looked like a kid in a candy store as he bounced on the balls of his feet. He clapped his hands together and looked between the photos and everyone else.
"Oh come on! Hurry it up!" Impatient, he gathered the pictures into a huge pile and began to dole them out. He couldn't help the smile that split his face as he waited for everyone's reactions. Pepper had told him that not everyone would be as excited as he was, but he didn't understand how anyone wouldn't be.
"I know you're excited for the baby, but did you seriously need to have that many copies of the ultra-sound made?" Clint looked down at the picture in his hand. He had seen ultra-sound pictures before and they always reminded him of those inkblot tests that shrinks gave you. This one though…. Yeah, this was more "The Screamer" in his opinion.
"They're the 3-D ones, so yes, I did. Come on, you can't tell me you don't want a copy." Tony shook the couple he had stashed in his hand. He had made enough for all of the team and friends. Ok so maybe he had gotten a few too many, but who really could blame him; everything he made was perfect.
"Why would I…" Clint's mouth snapped shut as he felt a pressure on the inside of his thigh. His eyes fluttered down to where Nat had dug her nails harshly into his leg. Her nails were painted a blood red. How appropriate.
"Of course he does, we all do." Nat took her copy from Tony with her unoccupied hand and smiled down at the picture.
"I've always loved you best." Tony sidled up to Nat, fluttering his eyelashes at her. Of course all he got for the effort was a light kick in the shin from her booted foot.
"Don't push it, Tony." Nat narrowed her eyes at the man. She might get along with him now, and if pressed she would even say they were friends, but he still annoyed the shit out of her most days.
"Sheesh, fine I'll shut up. But first… pictures!" Tony danced on the balls of his feet again, hands clasped tightly together as he gave them expectant looks.
"This looks like baby Voldemort. Ow! Fuck Nat!" Clint folded in on himself as Nat dug her nails in even more. It wouldn't be so bad, but he hadn't changed out of his sweats and the flimsy material gave way to her grip. He was sure she had actually pierced the fabric.
"First off, this is a she as you should well know. Second, call my daughter that again and I'll make your life a living hell." Suddenly serious, Tony glared down at the archer. And people called him insensitive!
Clint sat up straight and pushed himself back as far as he could into the couch. Out of the suit, Tony was no match for him, but Tony never really fought fair. Plus, Clint was pretty sure that Tony would involve Jarvis. So he decided to err on the side of caution… for a little bit at least.
"Don't listen to him, Tony. Now, gimme, gimme, gimme! I want my copy!" Darcy bounced up and down on her corner of the couch while making grabby hands at Tony. She squealed once she had the picture in her hands. "Awww, she's so cute! She's got Pepper's nose!" She ran one finger down the little arch of the baby's nose. She felt her stomach clench at the image. It wasn't just Steve that she wanted, she really did want a baby of her own. Very, very much.
"See, now that is how you respond to your teammate's baby." Tony settled down on the arm of the couch by Darcy, one arm slung around her shoulders.
"Yeah, well she is probably just broody. Biological clock ticking away and all. Ow, damnit Nat, stop doing that!" Clint was sure that she had actually drawn blood this time. What was her problem anyway, he had laid off of Tony.
"I'll stop when you stop being a heartless bastard." She dug in her nails just a little more to make a point before releasing him. Though she was mindful to keep her hand close enough to latch on if Clint started up again.
"So, never then?" Sam laughed from his spot on the floor at Nat's feet. He liked Clint, but the guy never knew when to shut up. Of course that really could be said for most of his teammates when he thought about it.
"Good to know you're on my side dude." Clint rolled his eyes and sunk back into his seat. What the hell ever happened to bro-solidarity and all that shit?
"Sorry man, I'll be on your side when you're right. Until then… well I've learned never to disagree with the Black Widow." Sam winked up at Nat and nudged her leg with his shoulder. He had seen what she could do, and he knew personally what those thighs could do. Like hell he was siding against her.
"I've… yeah, ok, you're right there." He crossed his arms over his chest and commenced pouting. At some point he knew he would look pathetic enough that someone would forgive him.
"So, as much fun as it is to take the piss out of Clint, can we get back to my daughter now?" Tony shook a couple of the pictures again, accidentally hitting Darcy on top of the head as he did so. He gave her a sheepish smile when she glared up at him and proceeded to ruffle her hair. Which of course only increased the glare.
"She really is beautiful Tony, she will bring honor to the Stark family I am sure." Thor stood and made his way to Tony with his hand out stretched. On Asgard the expecting of a girl-child was just as monumental as a boy. He had no doubt that the young daughter of Stark would be a great warrior like both her parents.
"Thanks Shakespeare." Tony clasped Thor's hand, thankful that Darcy had given the big guy lessons on how to handle mere mortals. Sadly, Thor still forgot at times and ended up tossing one of them across the room with a shoulder pat. "Hey, Cap, Buck, you two are being quiet, what do you think?" Everyone else had at least made some sort of grumbling, mumbling sounds, but the Soldier Boys hadn't even made a peep.
"It's an ultra-sound, I don't know what you want me to say?" Bucky shrugged his shoulders. Frankly, Clint had been right. Babies were cute and all, but this 3D ultra-sound thing was kind of scary looking. Not that he was stupid, Darcy would tase him in the balls if he actually voiced his opinion.
"That I make the prettiest babies." Tony preened, and maybe he was playing it up just a bit… just a bit though.
"I'm going to say that it's Pepper actually, you're fuck-ugly." Personally he thought Stark looked a little too much like his father. Though that was something else he knew to keep his mouth shut about. If there ever was a man with daddy issues it was Tony Stark.
"Right in the feels, Barnes, right in the feels." He slapped one hand over his heart and the other against his forehead. Thankfully he knew Pepper wanted to lie down so there was no one to smack him upside the head.
"Hey, why does Barnes get to be an ass, but I get clawed? It doesn't seem fair!" The pout on Clint's face increased as he whined. No one ever scolded Bucky. Alright, so Darcy was known to smack him upside the head every now and then, but at the moment she was gazing at the damned creepy ultra-sound all teary-eyed and shit.
"Left arm has a mind of its own. Plus, I'm pretty." To make his point, Bucky shot out his left arm and flipped Clint the bird.
"I'm pretty too." Clint sneered at Bucky and went to flip him off as well when he felt Nat's hand rest on his thigh again. Seriously not fair.
"Sure you are." Resting her hand down, she patted his leg and laughed. She knew just how inflated Clint's ego was, he could use a bit of the pressure being taken out.
"Don't patronize me." Clint shoved Nat's hand away and tried to curl up as far away from her as he could. Of course this meant that he was crowding Darcy who had no problems shoving him off her. Shit, what was with all the women he knew? He didn't think there was one that wouldn't hesitate to kick his ass.
"Don't be an idiot." Nat gave Clint a blank look. How long had he known her? Hell, their relationship hadn't really changed all that much since they had first met; he was still an idiot and she still refused to pander to him.
"Right… well Cap, what say you?" Normally Tony found the spy twins amusing, but right now they were supposed to be oohing and ahhing over his daughter. Which was why he had turned to the only other one besides Darcy and Thor that he knew wouldn't make some snide comment. Only the Cap looked a million miles away, and apparently he wasn't the only one that thought so as Darcy reached over and laid a hand on his knee.
"Steve, hey Steve, are you alright?" Darcy had been trying not to look at him, not with the ultra-sound picture in her hand. She had known he would react, it was little hard not to with everything going on with them lately. Still, she had not expected him to look like a ghost. He was pale, and she could see how he seemed to be having trouble breathing.
"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine. She's beautiful Tony. Thank you for the copy." Steve had pretty much blocked everyone out the moment he had looked down at the photo in his hand. He hadn't known what to expect, but the perfect little face had not been it. He probably would have continued to stare in wonder had he not felt the pressure of Darcy's hand on his knee.
"You're welcome. Are you sure you're alright, you look kind of funny? More than normal anyway." Tony waved a hand up and down at the man. He actually looked kind of sick, which was really weird because as far as anyone knew the Cap couldn't get ill.
"I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind right now. I'm actually late for something, I'll see you guys later." He tucked the photo into his shirt pocket and shot up from the couch as fast as he could. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't breathe, it felt much like it had before the serum; a tight constriction in his chest that wouldn't let go and allow air in. He left as fast as he could without seeming as though he was running away.
"Ok, well that was odd. That was odd right? I mean everyone else thinks that was odd?" Tony looked back and forth between Darcy and the door. He was used to people being strange, hell he had a Norse god living in his tower, but that was just outright bizarre.
"Yes, Tony, that was odd. What do you think got into him?" Bruce looked from Darcy to Bucky, noticing the strange way their faces both pinched. He had been pretty silent, content to just observe, but what he had observed he still had no clue.
"It wasn't odd, he was just late for something. Actually, I'm late too. See ya!" Darcy jumped up from her place on the couch, maneuvering over Sam's legs and past Bucky who tried to grab her wrist unnoticed. She moved out of his way quickly and left in the same direction as Steve had.
"Ok, now I know that was odd. Why is everyone being odd today? It is very rude to be odd when I'm sharing pictures." Tony settled down in Darcy's seat and pouted. This was not how it was supposed to go.
"Shut up, Tony."
Darcy knew where she would find Steve, all of the Avengers had their little hideouts for when they wanted to be alone. It was sort of an unsaid rule that no one entered those sanctuaries when they were occupied. Then again Darcy never liked to follow rules, said or unsaid.
She sighed when she pushed open the doors to the vintage gym Tony had set up for his two vintage team members. She had hoped he would have just been beating on his bags, busting a few of them open. Instead he was sitting on the edge of the boxing ring, ultra-sound picture in hand. He looked so sad as he looked down at the little black-and-white rendering of baby Stark. This was what she had wanted, for him to crave a child as much as her, and yet it actually pained her to see him looking so miserable.
"Every time I think I've accepted that I'll never have kids, something like this always happens." Steve didn't look up at Darcy as she entered, he really didn't need to. He had known the moment he had left that she would follow, even if he didn't want her to. "This is unbelievable, to be able to see your child like this before they're ever born."
"You know you don't have to accept anything?" Darcy jumped her way up to sit herself beside him. She leaned her shoulder against his arm, hoping that he wouldn't shake her off. She figured he had every right to, she was the one that had made such a big deal of this. He might have made a passing mention, but she was the one that caused this mess. Didn't matter if she was unrepentant or not.
"Yeah, I do." He wished she hadn't followed, he wasn't in any shape for a confrontation. And that was what this was going to be. There could not be a simple conversation between them on this subject, it was too raw and they were both too passionate about it.
"We could…" Darcy yelped when he suddenly pushed away from her and off the ring until he was facing her.
"Darcy! Just stop, please." He would get on his knees and beg her if he had to. He couldn't continue on with this, and he had to make her understand that.
"Why? Tell me why. I'm willing, and I know you want a child. We would be good parents, you know that." She moved to sit on the very edge of the ring, her body moving forward so she could look at him straight in the eyes. She couldn't understand why he fought her so much. She saw the yearning in his eyes when he looked at that photo. So why couldn't he allow himself to be happy?
"I'm not saying we wouldn't, but Darce… this isn't as simple as saying we want a kid and that is that. We're not normal, I'm not normal." He ran his hands through his hair and clasped down tight at the base of his neck. He had never been so frustrated in his life. It was so simple a concept, it should have been plain for anyone to see.
"You are just as normal as everyone else, you're just a man." Hell, she figured he was probably one of the most normal in the tower. It was one of the things that made him so great, he was surrounded by so much power and yet he stayed pretty down to earth.
"I'm Captain America. Damn it, Darcy, can't you see?" Steve slammed his hands down on the mat beside Darcy, his shoulders hunched until his head hung low. His muscles tensed as he felt her hand slide across his shoulder-blade and come to rest at the base of his neck, but he didn't shake her off. Her touch was comforting even if she was the one upsetting him in the first place.
"What I see is a man that is so frightened of the future that he is denying himself happiness." Her voice fell to little more than a whisper as she leaned into him, her chin resting on his shoulder.
"I am frightened!" He pushed up off the mat, his hands wrapping around Darcy's shoulders as though to try and shake some sense into her. He would admit that he was scared, and he didn't know why she wasn't as well. "Darce, I know you don't see me as Captain America and I adore you for that, but maybe you should see me that way at least a bit." Slowly, he slipped his hands up to cradle her face. So few in the world saw him as just Steve Rogers anymore. Even in the tower it was limited to four people, and three of them still had to acknowledge Cap more often than not. It was one of the things that made Darcy so precious to him.
"I get that you are a superhero, that doesn't bother me." Darcy mirrored Steve, placing her hands on his cheeks. She sighed and closed her eyes as he pressed his forehead to hers. They hadn't been this close since the last big terrorist attack that left Steve injured and unable to sleep. She didn't know what to think about the fact that the subject of having a child made him react the same way.
"You still don't understand. This isn't about you being bothered by the mask and shield, this is about the fact that what I do and who I am is dangerous. Any children I have, and the mother of those children, would be in danger. So many out there would want to use you against me believing you to be my weakness," he pulled back just enough to look her straight in the eyes, hoping that she would understand him finally. "…and they would be right."
"Just being your friend puts me in danger. Hell, I'm friends with all the Avengers, I'm already in danger. But you know what? I live in one of the most secure buildings in the world, with said superheroes. I don't even leave the tower without some sort of escort most of the time." She wasn't stupid. Having someone trail her wasn't about losing one's independence, but about acknowledging the fact that she had a fucking huge target painted on her back and she wasn't trained for combat against professional villains. She was about as protected as she could be, and nothing she could do from now on could make her any less a target.
"All this security wouldn't be able to protect you if I was the one to die." He ran his thumbs slowly over her cheekbones, his eyes practically boring into her. How had she not thought of that?
"What the fuck are you talking about?" A shock of horror flashed through her at just the thought of Steve dying. She knew it could happen. Every mission he left on, every call to assemble, left Darcy feeling hollow until he returned safe and sound.
"I'm not immortal, I know sometimes it seems like nothing can hurt me, but believe me I can be killed. What would happen to you and our child if I was killed?" He pulled fully away from her, standing far enough apart from her that he wouldn't easily give into the urge to pull her back to him.
"I don't care…" She jumped off ring and advanced on him, taking a step for every step he took back until he had stopped moving. She wasn't about to allow him to run away, not from the conversation and not from her.
"I do! I won't put you and any child of mine in that position. It would be irresponsible of me." There were things that he understood better than her, he knew what it was like growing up without a father. He had watched as his mother struggled to raise him, he had seen the heartbreak in her eyes whenever she talked about his father. He refused to do that to Darcy.
"What about Tony then? He could be killed just as, if not more, easily than you. Still, he and Pepper are having a child. If he is willing to take that chance, why can't you?" She wouldn't put her life on hold because of the fear of loss, and she wouldn't let him either. It was a risk everyone took, not just them.
"Things are different for Tony, he has ways to take care of Pepper and his daughter if something happens to him. I've got nothing." Maybe he thought Tony was a bit irresponsible as well, but he didn't have any say in his teammate's life like he did in his own.
"Like the fuck that is true. Do you really think anyone here would let us suffer?" If he actually believed that he was a lot more foolish than she thought. She might have come to the tower as nothing more than Jane's assistant and friend, but she had become intertwined with everyone there. She knew that if anything ever happened she would have a line of people waiting to help her.
"No, fuck no… damn, you would probably get tired of dealing with Buck, hell he'd probably marry you just out of honor and duty. Still…" Tired of the whole conversation, Steve leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor. They said a lot of words, but had gotten nowhere. It was like trying to roll uphill with several hundred pounds strapped to your legs.
"Still you are scared. I get it, when I think about it I am too, but then I think about being like Pepper. I think about showing off ultra-sound pictures to all our friends, decorating the nursery, and holding our child for the first time. I think about all those things and I realize that it's worth it, every God damn thing is worth it." She kneeled down on the floor in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. She smiled when he reached out on grasped them. He didn't smile back at her, just rested his head against the wall and shut his eyes. But it was alright, because he wasn't trying to pull away.
"I refuse to do that to you… I won't do that to you." He squeezed her hands in his, bringing them together until he could hold them both between his knees.
"And I refuse to give up. I know you want this as much as I do, and I won't allow you to throw away happiness just because you are scared."
Sam had been watching Steve for a few days, and Darcy along with him. They had been acting, as Tony had said, odd. At first he had thought he'd won the pool, but the more Sam watched the more he realized it wasn't morning after awkwardness. It was, however, awkward and fraught with sexual tension; even if they had no idea.
He had thought to confront Steve about what was going on, try to get him to confide in him, but after what just happened Sam realized there might just be another way of getting information. He should have thought of it before, Steve and Darcy were Bucky's closest friends. Either the two would confide in him or Bucky would've figured it out himself.
"So, Steve and Darcy?" Sam leaned against the railing of the balcony, his eyes seemingly focused on the street below even though he actually watched the man beside him from the corner of his eye.
"Are idiots, I know." Bucky flicked the finished cigarette in his hand off the balcony, watching as it slowly fluttered down to the ground. He probably took a little too much pleasure in the thought of his cigarette butt falling in someone's coffee. Their own fault he figured. Before all the shit that brought him there, back when he had been just some jerk kid, most of the residents of the city would have been in their beds… or someone's bed at least. But now New York never slept, and it didn't matter how late it was someone was always up.
"Ok, let's start that again. So, Bucky, what is going on with Steve and Darcy?" Sam turned his eyes away from the street and directly to Bucky. He waved off the offer of a cigarette and barely kept himself from smacking the stupid thing out of Bucky's hand.
"Besides being idiots?" Bucky slipped the cigarette between his lips and with a flick lit it. He took a long drag, letting the smoke drift past his lips and nose. He had enjoyed smoking once, though now he did it more out of habit than anything. It was something he could do with his hands he guessed.
"Yes, besides that." Sam had seen many types of friendships in his life, those created during childhood, through shared tragedy, common likes and goals, and forged from trust while in battle. Bucky and Steve's was a strange mix of all those, it was a closeness far beyond brotherhood. Add in Darcy, and well… the three of them had become a sort of family unit of their own, separate from the rest of the team.
"Nothing much, just thinking about having a baby." He took another pull from the cigarette before snuffing it out in the palm of his metal hand. The thing tasted like shit; there were just some things that hadn't improved with time.
"Excuse me, but what the fuck?" Surely he had to have heard him wrong, though by the raised brow of his companion he figured he hadn't.
"Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction." Bucky tossed the snuffed out butt off the balcony to join its brother. He leaned over the railing the same as Sam, just watching all the people pass.
He wasn't feeling at his best, the night-terrors he had thought were gone had snuck back up on him. He hadn't slept in three nights, unable to stomach the thought of another blood filled dream. He knew he should probably tell Steve, but the punk had enough on his plate.
"I didn't even realize they were together." Sam had hoped of course, and not just because of the bet. Steve had become a very good friend, and all he wanted was to see him happy. When they had met he was still silently suffering, and finding out about Barnes hadn't done him much help. Since meeting Darcy though, Sam had watched him blossom alongside their friendship. She was good for him, for both of them really.
"They're not." Bucky wasn't sure what to do. He loved them both and only wanted what was best for them, but they were both so incredibly stupid at times.
"Damn, I think I understand your idiot comment now." Sam shook his head. He had known something had been going on, but this was a bit more than he had figured. It didn't really sound like something Steve would do, but then again the guy had surprised him plenty since he had met him.
"Even if they were together it would be a bad idea." Bucky watched as the cars drove by, their lights making solid lines at such a distance. White, red, and a blinding blue reminiscent of the energy stream of a weapon he once knew.
He hated being up there, he hated the lights, the shape of the buildings on the skyline. Every time he stepped out there it was like being frozen once again. He could feel the ice around him, see the little window in front of him. Out there he existed in a world that simultaneously stood still and moved with increasing speed. It was dizzying and harrowing, and it made him ill. Still, you could blow shit up and get blood all over the tower, but Stark whined if you smoked inside.
"Why, don't you think they would make good parents?" He could understand Bucky having a bit of a problem with a child out of wedlock; both he and Steve could be a bit old-fashioned at times. It was a bit surprising though that he would object to it altogether.
"That's not it at all. Hell, Steve would make a wonderful dad, and Darcy will someday make a good mother." He could see Darcy with a whole passel of little curly-haired, blue-eyed babes. She would take care of them just as she took care of him and Steve, loving them with everything she had in her. He could see it, but just not with Steve.
"You said Steve would, not that he will like with Darcy. Why?" He thought it was interesting that Bucky allowed that kind of slipup. Normally the man was so careful with everything he did. Sam was sure it was a throwback to when he had been under someone else's control; having to hide any trace of humanity that slipped through the cracks just to keep the pain away.
"Don't start all your analyzing shit with me." Bucky liked Sam well enough, but he sometimes didn't know when to shut it. Unlike Steve, who welcomed the man's words of insight, Bucky had had his brain picked apart quite enough for a lifetime, thank you very much.
"I just want to know why you seem to think Darcy will one day have a kid, but not Steve." Sam pushed back from the balcony's edge and took a seat on one of the many chairs that were littered about the place. He might not be afraid of heights, but normally he had his wings when he was that close to an edge.
"The life we live, it is not one we should be bringing children into. Every time we go out we risk dying and leaving our families uncared for." Bucky closed his eyes against the blurring lines of light below him, trying to shut out the feeling of the cold as it prickled at his skin. He wouldn't sleep again tonight, the past too close to the edge.
"True, but Tony is having a kid." Sam watched as Bucky's shoulders tensed, the slightest twitch to the fingers on his left hand. He would have to remember to inform Jarvis to keep an eye on him tonight. Bucky had been doing really great lately, but the stress of worrying about his two best friends could easily cause him to have a bit of a relapse.
"Yes, and it's irresponsible." Unable to push the dizziness away, Bucky moved back from the ledge and down into one of the chairs.
He wished there were stars in the skies, but New York was so polluted with light that he could barely make out any but the absolute brightest. When he had been younger, not much more than seven, he would sneak out when he was upset to lie on the roof of his building and just watch the stars. There was something about the little pin-points of light that calmed him.
"But you haven't been vocal about that." Sam tried not to laugh at the image that brought. No one but Pepper could ever tell Tony what to do.
"Steve and Darcy are my friends." Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose with his flesh hand, his fingers sliding down to press harshly into his closed eyes.
"You know, it's not your job to look after Steve anymore." He had seen this countless times before. Between partners and commanders. It was hard to break away from the habit and need to take care of someone.
He could only imagine how Bucky felt. The man had 'died' still trying to come to terms with the fact that his friend no longer needed the same kind of help from him. He had gone from protecting him from the world at large, to toting a gun and covering his back. Now that he had finally returned, body and mind, he found that his friend really didn't need him in that way at all. It most likely left him floundering and searching for his place in Steve's life.
"I told you not to fucking do that." Bucky's voice was more tired than angry. He had known that Sam wouldn't have been able to resist. Personally, he thought Steve put him up to it regularly.
"Hey man, I'm just saying. Steve's told me some of the stuff from before, and I know it can be hard…"
"Just fuck it off man. I'm not the one thinking about randomly having a kid, I'm not the one you should be doing this shit to." Bucky put up with Sam so far simply because he seemed stuck on the topic of Steve and Darcy. But if he thought he could use the conversation as a means to delve into his past he had another thing coming.
"I'm not sure I need to talk to them." Sure, the idea was kind of crazy, but it really wasn't something unheard of anymore.
"Are you kidding me?! They're not even together. I know people do this sort of thing a lot now, but babies complicate things." Bucky sat up straight in the chair, his head whipping around until he was glaring at the other man.
"They can also put things into perspective." This probably wasn't the best topic for conversation at the moment, but from what he had seen just from talking to Bucky, something needed done before he had a total relapse.
"You can't be telling me you're all for this?" Incredible! Had everyone he lived with lost their minds?!
"Maybe, I'd have to talk to them and get their sides to this, but yeah." Sam could have sat there and agreed with everything Bucky said, calming the man down by validating his worries, but Sam wasn't wired that way. He would challenge, he would play devil's advocate until the other man was forced to think.
"How is this at all a good idea?" He didn't understand how Sam could go along with Steve and Darcy's hair-brained scheme. He had seen and been part of the missions they regularly went on. He knew just as much as him how easy it would be for one of them to not make it home.
"Both you and Steve have had trouble with fully acclimating to the world you have found yourselves in…"
"I thought you said last week we've been doing fine." Bucky sat back in his chair again. He knew Sam's statement was true for Steve, but lately Bucky wasn't so sure about himself.
"In most aspects, yes. Still, you are both holding onto a past that you can never go back to, even if the grip is weak. Maybe Steve is thinking about children because he needs something to root himself in the here and now. It might not be the most ideal situation, but it could end up as a good one." Sam had thought at first that the Avengers would be that root for both men, but as time went on it became clear that while they believed in what they were doing, it didn't create the right kind of permanence they needed. Darcy could be that permanence for Steve.
"Please don't turn this around and think I'm going to start becoming broody." Bucky's eyes were wide as he looked across from him. He remembered before everything he had thought about children, a fleeting thought that one day he would find himself the right dame and he would settle down and have a family. Maybe he had thought about it with more seriousness, but all he could remember was a bit of an abstract picture in his mind. Even if he had, he knew it was no longer in the cards for him.
"God forbid. No, when the time comes you will find your own root, this is just Steve's." Sam knew it would be hard for the man, it never was for normal soldiers, just how much harder would it be for someone like Bucky?
"It's still irresponsible. What happens if one mission he doesn't come back?" Bucky hated to think about it, losing Steve, but things happened. He would be by Darcy's side in less than a heartbeat if it ever happened, but then again there was still the risk of it happening all over again with him.
"Then the rest of us take care of Darcy and the kid. Look, sure, what Steve does is a lot more dangerous than say an accountant, but there is always a risk of one or both of the parents dying. Everyone takes that risk, some win and some lose. At least for Darcy she has all of us if the worst ever happens." Sam remembered one of the soldiers he had met once. The man had survived active duty only to return home to his family and die two months later because of some teenaged drunk driver. Life could be cruel.
"Why did you have to be the one to notice, why couldn't it have been the other birdbrain?" At least with Hawkeye the guy would have just made some joke, told him to stuff it and asked him if he wanted to join him for pizza and beer.
"Because he never would've been looking for it as he thinks you and Darcy are together." Sam laughed, Clint really should have listened to him. He also shouldn't have made a side bet with him. Sam was going to enjoy collecting once everything got out.
"The fuck gave him that idea?" Bucky blinked over at Sam, his mouth hanging open. Sure, the two of them were pretty close, but it wasn't like they were making out in the common room.
"Man, are you kidding me? The three of you have this weird as shit thing going on. No one knows if she is with you, Steve, or both. Though everyone has their theories." Though at least most of those were pretty tame. Stark on the other hand loved to create elaborate scenarios, some that would leave Sam horrified for days. That man had some real problems.
"You mean everyone has their bets?" Bucky set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. There was never a time in the tower when there was less than five different bets going on.
"Same thing." Sam waved a hand in the air and ignored the glare from the other man.
"You do know that Steve is in love with Darcy?" Bucky wasn't sure how anyone could miss it, those two were so pathetic. Steve spent so much of his time at home making fucking goo-goo eyes at Darcy, and she blushed every time he sent her a smile. It was kind of sickening really.
"And she with him, but neither knows it, yes." Sam laughed lowly. It was like a bad rom-com watching those two dance around each other. The will they-won't they gave him a headache.
"This just gets more fucked up every day. I hope you're getting a good payout from all of this." There was a small part of him that wished he had known about the bet and had been able to place his own through Sam. It would have been funny to see everyone's faces come payday.
"Along with Pepper, Jane and Bruce, yes." He didn't mention the side bet with Clint, mainly because unlike the others it didn't involve money, just a platter of the only thing Clint actually knew how to make. Hawkeye's Special Double Chocolate Raspberry Cookies were somewhat legendary around the tower, and whomever had even just one protected it with their life.
"My God, the others don't think I'm with her do they?" Bucky groaned and ran a hand over his face. It was a nice thought, but he had known from the moment he met her that was never going to happen.
"No, just Thor and Clint. Tony and Nat both bet that she will end up with the both of you." Sam laughed a bit louder at the way Bucky sank down in his chair.
"Why the hell do I even live here?" He could have gotten a place for himself in Brooklyn a long time ago, but Steve had insisted on him staying with them in the tower. It was supposed to be good for him or something.
"Because you enjoy chaos, we all do or we wouldn't be here." Sam had thought many times about leaving and returning to DC. In the end though he knew it wouldn't be the same. He had grown used to the noise and the craziness. He figured he would probably miss it if he ever left. Of course, he did have to take a break from it all every now and then. They all did, even Stark.
"We are all masochists then." He joined in the laughter, the feeling of it vibrating through his chest allowing some of the dizziness to fade. The tightness that the rushing lights had caused was not gone, but it had loosened.
"Very probably." Sam didn't know anyone there that didn't routinely put themselves through some kind of hell. Whether it be getting shot at, forty-eight hours no sleep in the lab, or just putting up with those going on forty-eight hours no sleep in the lab. They were all a little messed up somehow.
"I still don't think it is a good idea for them to have a kid." Bucky's laughter died as the original topic popped back up in his head.
"It's not either of our place to tell them what to do." Sam leaned forward until he was resting his elbows on his knees. He knew it would take time for Bucky to realize the truth of what he said, but it was still stressful when he found himself sounding like a broken record.
"So I should just sit back and watch them make a mistake that could ruin their friendship?" It was incredible how no one ever listened to him. Steve hadn't when they were younger, hell he didn't even now. Darcy had never listened to him once. Actually if she ever did he thought he would probably fall over dead.
"Yes, if it is indeed a mistake it's theirs to make. Be there for them if things fall apart, be there to lend an ear or a shoulder if need be for any reason, but don't try to make this decision for them. With something this important, you trying to save their friendship could end up hurting yours instead."
Author's Note: A bit later than I wanted, but as you can see this one was filled with emotion and I didn't want to rush it.
The bit with the ultra-sound, if you've never seen one of the 3D you are missing out. They are incredible. My sister had one with my nephew and they are so cool….though I did pull a Clint and jokingly said that Merlyn looked like baby Voldemort, mainly just to annoy her.
And I don't know about you, but excited Daddy-to-be Tony is adorable!
Now, it might be awhile before I get another one out as classes start up next week, but I will try to get some done before spring break if I can.
Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.