He spent the rest of the day in the seclusion of his apartment trying to push images Nyota and her parting words from his mind with no success.
The last thing he wanted out of this for them... or however he should classify their relation to one another, was to hurt her. Her dejection as she left his apartment was not lost on him, but how who was he to console her? Her Commander, her friend or someone more? He was sure of the first two to be correct in his assessment but what of the last?
It was late now, 3:14 a.m. as Spock meditated on his bed and tried to think of the best and most logical course of action to take when he arrived on campus Monday morning, still 29 hours and 46 minutes away.
It was clear to him that the most pressing matter was what to do with Cadet Uhura.
Limiting his contact with the cadet would be easy enough, as she was only his TA and no longer took any of his classes. Putting in a request for her removal on the grounds of wanting to oversee grading all his classwork should give her a way of gracefully bowing out without exposing any of her misbehavior.
He still wasn't entirely sure of what if anything had transpired between them with the exception of yesterday afternoon's kiss but even that was solely based on her account.
Could he trust her? She admitted to having an attraction towards him in during her explanation and from what Spock could gather, she had pursued him as a mate or the human given title of a 'boyfriend' since around the time of Valentine's Day.
Would she be honest and tell him something he may not wish to hear or keep him in the dark about what was really going on by telling him something more palatable?
He laid down his side and felt his heart hammer against his ribcage as he wrestled with his conflicting feelings of preserving his good name and reputation and his own affections towards the cadet.
It was the most illogical thing he had come across to fight against. Of course the most logical thing to do was to dismiss her, report her and move on with his life and career in Starfleet but every time the thought crossed his mind his heart would race and his lung constrict. He was pained simply by the thought of being without her.
What little they did share together was about reduced to nothing as soon as he reported to Pike and losing her company grieved him but how could ignore the numerous, logical reasons of why he should avoid Nyota? With every review, each of point grew more sound in its validity.
She was wholly human to his Vulcan human mix, He was a commander while she was a mere cadet, she was young but would age much more rapidly, he would undergo a violent mating cycle by which she may become injured or worse, she might be disappointed once she came to know him and...hurt him, he may hurt her by not observing human mating customs just as he did on Valentine's, there was also the matter of melding and bonding...
The list went on and on in his mind until he felt he had exhausted all the rationalities for them to never pursue anything more than a friendship, what would be left of it anyways. Trying to save the both of them from being severely reprimanded or possibly discharged was the logical thing to do, the right thing to do he reasoned.
Then why did it pain him to even consider it?
With a sigh of resignation Spock made up his mind to relieve Nyota of her TA position, report his actions yesterday to Pike and make a conscious effort to distance himself from the Cadet. He nodded to himself grimly and covered himself with the thick duvet in hopes of sleep relieving him from the tension he felt.
Before reporting to Pike's office, Spock stopped by the Bio lab to record and file the latest results for his experiment of different alien grasses growth rates under the terran conditions.
He walked up to terrarium and peered through the glass. The golden blades of Vulcan yar remained short and stubby, looking starved for more heat and light while the Denobulian stalks brushed its gaudy fuchsia leaves up against the dome's top.
" You're having me reassigned?!"
Startled, Spock stood up and spun around to face a teary eyed Nyota. She was panting and her uniform was rumpled as if she had run all the way from her dorm. She locked the door and ran over towards him.
" Given the circumstances it was the logical thing to do."
" How is it logical if we were both happy with me being your TA? I'm the only one who has ever stayed on! Doesn't my dedication mean anything to you, Commander?!" she sobbed, crowding Spock up against the lab table behind him. Test tubes tinkled in their holders and he looked behind him to check that none of them had fallen when she grabbed his chin and directed his face towards her.
" I'm not leaving, sir." she sniffled. " You'll just have to deal with the tension between us, unless you want to take the means to relieve it...?"
She pressed against him, twisting her hips against his and stepping up on her toes to push her cheek to his. It was wet with tears and the soft skin beneath it swelled with the emotion of longing.
" Cadet Uhura, you are out of line." he growled out, he patience lost and his ire rising at her unsolicited touch. He gently pushed her off and away and she narrowed her eyes, still shiny with tears.
" Maybe you need a reminder of my qualifications, sir!" she mocked, walking around him and to the table where she cleared his workspace of beakers and pipettes with one quick swipe of her arm and knocked him back onto the free space of the table while he stood there in shock.
" Nyota! What has gotten into you?!" he hissed at her, as she quickly climbed on top of him, straddled his lap. He held her wrists as she started to unbutton his slacks. She struggled to free herself and when she found her attempt to fruitless she glared at him.
" Let me go." she commanded .
" No. Promise to remove yourself from my person. This is against regulation number..."
" And what regulation is this breaking, Spock?" she jeered, rolling her hips up against his growing erection. His eyes widen in dismay, did she know that he found the whole situation thrilling as he did abhorrent?
" If you don't let me go Spock, I'll scream."
He looked up at her as she sat perched upon his lap with her mascara running tiny black stripes down her face.
" You would not." he said through clenched teeth.
" You wanna try me, Commander? You tried to get rid of me, rid of us and you didn't think I would fight for our love? I wouldn't be so quick to further irritate me by keeping me from doing what we both want me to do."
" Love?! Irritate you? And what is is we both want?" he huffed incredulously. She inhaled deeply and made like she was about to yell when Spock released his hold.
Nyota swiftly went to work on his belt buckles and the fly of his pants. As she freed his lok, Nyota took it firmly between her hands and stroked it. He groaned and jerked his hips into her touch, glaring at her all the while. How was it that she was so well versed in how to please him?
" We both want each other, sir. Admit Commander, you want me." she teased, lifting her behind and sliding her panties over to the side and aligned their bodies. " Why would you deny yourself the pleasure of taking me in the lab? A little, naughty 'afternoon delight' to pick up your mood."
" My mood needs no alterations." he growled, grinding his teeth. She circled her hips above him, coating him with her wetness and he heard himself groan low in his throat as if from a distance.
So good, how could something feel so good that it could only be defined by a vague, mediocre word?
The head of his lok was swallowed inside her heated sex and he bite the inside of his cheek, tasting the metallic tang of his blood filling his mouth. She threw her head back and moaned his his name and he reached up released her hair from the confines of the elastic band with a loud snap.
" Please tell me, Spock. Tell me that you always wanted me." she begged, her voice deep and raspy as she teased him with a wiggle of her pelvis.
He sucked the air sharply and moaned. " I want you, Nyota. Like this."
" That's all I needed to hear."
She mounted him in with a sharp dip of her hips and rode Spock like he was her prize stallion. She clawed at his jacket as his hands found her hips, holding her steady from a bouncy canter to a gallop as his hips rose up to slam into hers.
" Oh, oh yes!" she squealed, her delight in his flooding him as she reached up stroking his face and ears.
He grunted as she leaned forward and licked his lips, prodding them open and then launching an assault within his mouth. Again he tasted the tea, along with what might have been a strawberry scone and clotted cream but that wasn't the best part, the taste that drove him mad as her tongue curled against his when he struck a particularly sensitive spot within her. No, not the fruit or the tea, but her.
" Oh damn you feel so good Spock! I always knew you would. I already feel like I'm about to come." she gasped against his mouth and took ahold of his shoulders.
" Then do so." he hummed.
She whined as he picked up speed and held her hips in an almost painful grip. Nyota reached down with her hand circling her clit and closed her eyes as she focused in on the sensation of Spock within her.
" Say you won't let me go. Say you'll keep me."
He looked down and watched as she furiously rubbed at swollen tip peeking through its hood and his lok as he sunk inside her and felt himself teetering on the edge as well.
" What is mine cannot leave me." he growled, his pelvis snapping up hard and deep against hers producing a loud, obscene smack as his hand pushed hers out of the way and busied themselves with working her clit in a way that left her breathless. " Say you're mine, Nyota and you can not leave me."
She bit her lip and her eyes rolled back as she came with violent shiver, her bodying milking him as he strained not to give in. He waited until she was panting in recovery of the first orgasm before sitting up and crushing her slight frame against his, his thick pubic hair tickling against her overly-sensitive clit and sending her into another wave as he surged into her.
" Say it." he snarled into her ear and she bucked against him as she felt her belly coiling tight once more. " Nyota..."
" I'm...yours. I cannot leave you." she whimpered and trembled in his arms. He kissed at her freely and Nyota tearfully keened into his mouth, clawing at his jacket's lapel as she rode the second blissful crush he inflicted upon her.
He watched their reflection on the pale glassy surface of the equipment cabinet. Nyota's hair cascading down her shoulders in a silky, black ribbons, her small torso locked against him in the cage of his arms while plump bottom bounced against the tops of his thighs, raising up on every thrust to reveal him buried deep inside her.
He broked the kiss and licked along her neck, preparing a site for him to bite when the door comm chimed.
He growled and nibbled her earlobe, trying hard to ignore the annoying reet reet buzzing through the air of the unanswered chime.
" Spock" Nyota whimpered, " answer the door..."
He snarled and butted his forehead on hers. " I do not wish to."
" But you have to..."
" I do not." he hissed through his teeth feeling his orgasm fast approaching.
" But..."
" Spock, you in there? It's me Pike. Open up." a voice called out from the comm.
Spock cursed in Vulcan as he held Nyota's neck within his mouth. There was no way or where to hide them, even now Nyota's moaning was growing more shrill as she was fast approaching another climax. His hands slid down and rocked her clit against his pelvic bone, enjoying the resulting squeeze she did around his lok as she shivered once more. " I'm all yours, Spock." she murmured, her lips pushing against his ear. " I'm not leaving you. I can't leave you."
" Spock?" Pike yelled, now banging on the door.
Spock looked at the door and then back at the contented face of Uhura impaled on his lap. " You asked me if I ever imagined coming inside you."
She looked him in the eye as she panted loudly into the air. He come feel her close once more. He sniffed and exhaled. She was insatiable, mad with lust and if it weren't for his knowledge that she was only human he would have thought her under the effects of plak-tow.
" I have. I've imagined it a separate 83 times since I have known you." Her head rolled back as he continued to recount instances of his lewd and reckless imagination. " I have picture us in this lab 48 times, 93 times in my apartment and in my office 176 times. Out of those 400 occasions, 381 of those daydreams you have been a virgin I have deflowered."
She bite into the fabric of his jacket and screamed as she came once more, the knocking at the door now louder and more insistent.
" Spock open up!"
Nyota nibbled at his jaw and held on to his shoulders as she lifted herself up and down along his lok and Spock told hold of the table edges. The wood groaned beneath his grip as the cadet drove him wild with the sway and fall of her hips. He continued to watch in the reflection of the window and snarled as he felt his sakal draw up tight and flood his lok.
" SPOCK!" Chris yelled.
" Just a moment I'm coming ..." he groaned before shut his eyes at the force of his release.
He sat up in his bed, gasping and sputtering as he drenched his sheets in his seed. He looked around in shock, still trying to get his bearings when he heard his door chime and Chris's voice over the intercom once more. " You okay in there buddy. It's not like you to be late to work or not even show up."
Spock looked at his comm on the bedside table and realized to his horror that it was 6 p.m. Monday evening. He had missed the whole work day and all of Sunday.
He pressed the intercom button on the nightstand surface and spoke into the mic, his voice gravelly and rough with misuse. " I will be with you in a moment. Please make yourself at home while I make myself presentable."
" Spock is that you? You feeling okay or are you as crappy as you sound?"
" If fecal matter were to have emotional awareness I would be inclined to agree with you on my state of being but as it is, I am not myself. I will signal the door for your entrance." he muttered, busy trying to clean himself and his sheets as best he could before throwing the his clothing and the bedding into the refresh hamper. He hurried to the bathroom to wash his hands and straighten his hair with no time to bathe himself properly, all the while pondering why Pike had chosen to come all the way out to his apartment instead of just calling him on the comm.
Spock exited his bedroom dressed in a white undershirt and sweatpants, eyeing Christopher as the captain looked over his Vid-pix hanging on the wall. He was watching the desert scene of wind blowing across the landscape of Vulcan's forge when he turned and regarded Spock warily.
" You alright, Commander?"
Spock sat down on the couch seated nearest to where Pike was standing. He ran his hands over his legs nervously, resting them on his knees as he stared at the floor and took a tentative breath. " As of late, I can not say that I am, sir."
" What exactly seems to be the problem." he asked sitting down opposite of the Vulcan in a matching overstuffed chair.
Spock swallowed and shook his head before looking at him. " I have been suffering from delusions. They have been mild enough in their fantasy for me to believe them real occurances only for me to find those in my company having a different recollection of what transpired. I did not know for certain until Saturday..." he trailed off as he thought of the young Cadet that had here two days ago caged beneath him. He licked his lips and furrowed his brow. " I have acted inappropriately for one in my station, sir."
Chris leaned back with a thoughtful look, his fingers steepled under his chin as he nodded. " Hmm, that's not what the cadet said this morning when she withdrew herself from her position as your TA."
Spock jerked his head in disbelief and gave Pike his full attention. " What did Cadet Uhura tell you?"
The captain took a deep breath and sighed. " Well, she told the board that she made advances towards you, kissed you and may have mildly intoxicated you with a tea she bought you as a gift."
" What?"
" Tell me Spock, do you know the uses of lemongrass?"
He shook his head no and Pike continued on with his explanation. " It seems that with lemongrass, not only can it be use as a herb for tea and cooking but it can also be use to lure animals such as honeybees. The oil found in the leaves works as a pheromone drawing the bee to the lemongrass' flowers over any other flower in the surrounding area. It appears to have the same effects of attraction when it comes to Vulcans, making the being in question more amorous as well as susceptible to hallucinations."
Chris leaned forward resting his forearm on his legs with a look of sincerity. " The cadet was told by the seller that it was a love tea but she was not informed to avoid giving it to anybody who wasn't human. She only found out after she contacted the shopkeep in concern over your welfare and reported to me shortly there after."
Spock felt both crushed and relieved. He hadn't gone mad, he had simply been under the influence of the herbal tea he had been drinking but Nyota...she had only meant to give Spock the tea and mug in an expression of affection, not to harm him.
" What will happen with Cadet Uhura?"
Pike looked down and twisted his mouth, running his fingerings though his hair. " She's no longer your teaching assistant that for sure and she's on academic probation for a while. Other than that the board decided to take it easy on her as it was her first ever demerit and she turned herself in as soon as kissed you and found out about the tea poisoning you."
" She was demerited?"
Chris nodded, standing up and stretching his legs. " Yes but I doubt that it will hold her back. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and didn't mean any harm. She just had it bad for teacher." he said with a wink.
Spock saw the captain to the door after he promised that he would stop in at the clinic before resuming his duties. " Alright then, I'll see you Tuesday then?"
Spock nodded and quietly ordered the door close behind him.
Nyota...she was so bright and promising and she tarnished herself for a chance to be with him, even when she knew the risks in a feeling of guilt over the tea. His skin felt tight as he thought of her walking into the disciplinary hearing and listening to the charges after her confession. What had she confessed to? Just a kiss? Was that the one Thursday or Saturday? Had Thursday even happened or was it Saturday that he was in error about?
Spock still didn't know what to believe other than what he could perceive to be true. The lab then had been a dream? And the first day after receiving her gift during lunch, that kiss...and everything afterwards had been a hallucination? It had all certainly felt real.
It was 7:09pm now and he still had her number. If he called her now, he could schedule a time to meet up with her. It was maddening not to know the light from the shadows, he had to know what was was nothing more vexing to a Vulcan to be left uninformed on an issue that could easily be remedied by asking the primary source.
He went to his comm and started to deal when he stopped midway. He should not do this. What would meeting up with her do other than to further her shame and rub at their situation. He doubted if she even wanted to see him let alone speak to him.
Spock stood beside the comm trying to logically seek a way to gain the knowledge he wanted without causing Nyota further duress but could not think of anything sound.
He could call but that was sure to reflect poorly for both of them if Starfleet were to pull her comm records. He could speak to her on campus, but again that would not do them any good in the brass's eyes.
He paced the hall before deciding it was best to go for a run and clear his mind. He was buzzing with energy from all the sleep and grew frustrated as he saw no logical means to solve his dilemma. No way in finding a neat and tidy resolution in this matter of the heart.
He liked Nyota, adored her but she was now officially off limits. Every greeting would be questioned, every look between them scrutinized and as a person that valued his privacy and took pride in his reputation the thought irked him to no end.
Pulling on a knit cap after zipping up his jacket, Spock headed out of the building and bolted onto the streets, only checking his speed when he started to draw attention. He wanted to be left alone and even with his ears tucked away in his cap the sharp arch of his eyebrows and the film of his inner eyelid drawn out from the wind whipping pass his face gave him away. He headed onto campus away from the noise of the city and began a lap around the pristine grounds.
" Professor." a light female voice shouted and he stopped to see the Orion Cadet Gaila running towards him. Nyota's roommate.
She slowed to a stop and nodded for them to continue moving.
" How can I be of assistance." he asked when he was sure they were alone.
" You can assist by meeting up with this one's roommate." she groused in horrible Vulcan. He grimaced as much as his face would allow at her horrible pronunciation of the word assist and replied in the same tongue as he took her change from standard as a way of not readily being overheard.
" How do you suppose this one should do that without drawing suspicion, Cadet?" he replied in turn.
She scanned the area once more and handed him a notePADD. " Memorize the number and call her at 3am. You guys can plan it then."
He glance at the number and nodded. " I will. Please let her know. Is the comm on a secure link?"
Gaila winked and smiled. " Yes, to both your request and your question. Live long and prosper Commander."
" Peace and long life, Cadet."
After the cadet disappeared behind the Engineering building, Spock decided to stop in for water and to check on the progress of his flora experiment housed in the Phlox Biology building. He stopped into the Instructor's lounge took a cup from the common share cabinet, sighing as the heat of the building gave him comfort after running out in the cold. He spotted his mug further down through the glass cabinet but it would most likely require a thorough cleaning before he would be able to safely drink from it again.
Tracing the large heart pattern with his eyes and his mind automatically turned to think on the day that Nyota had given him the ceramic piece. He remembered her anxiety vividly as his fingers accidentally brushed against while accepting the neatly wrapped gift.
It was not proper to ask her about the feeling as he did not mean to 'listen in' and touch her in the first place but he grew more curious about her nervousness as he unfolded the paper and opened the box to see the mug with two bags of tea, one loose leaf the other bagged, snugly nestled inside. It wasn't any inappropriate or untowards, in fact that he was very fond of the items she chose for their practicality.
" Thank you, Cadet Uhura." he said inspecting the mug and looking up to see her biting her lip apprehensively. " Is there something amiss? That is proper terran etiquette to thank the one giving a gift after it has been received?"
She shook her head with more force than necessary, her hair flying behind her and held up her hands up in defense, of what he wasn't sure of. " Oh no, nothing's wrong, sir. I just, wasn't sure if you liked...the gift." she said quickly. " So do you like it Commander?"
Spock held the tea and the mug in his hands, turning them this way and that. " The tea I can not give you a factual based assessment on, I am unfamiliar with this blend. As for the mug I find the colors aesthetically pleasing if not overly sentimental. These are simplified artistic rendering of hearts decorating its exterior?" he asked tapping against a few of the green ones.
She pulled at the bottom of her jacket and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She was fidgeting. Hmm she rarely ever fidgeted when she spoke to him, he assumed she may have needed to relieve herself. " Yes, they're suppose to be Vulcan and human hearts. I commissioned a potter to make the mug and paint the design..."
Spock nodded, acknowledging her statement and sniffed at the tea. Hmm, very tart smelling. " As a symbol of my dual heritage I assume?"
She twisted her jacket and frowned. " No, it's symbolic but not of that. It's for...it's about...I..." she stammered, her brow tilted up as if she were in distress.
" Cadet, are you well? Am I detaining you from the restroom?"
Her face clears into a smile and she waved her hand dismissively. " No, I don't need to go to the bathroom, I'm fine. It's just...a present."
" It is not my birthday. I know it is a human custom to give friends gifts on the anniversary of their birth."
" It's not for that, it's for Valentine's day." her voice cracked with a shrill squeak.
He lifted his brow and looked her over. " Your voice sounds strained. Perhaps you could be so kind as to make us both some of this new tea? It would certainly help your throat."
She looked down with a nod and quietly took the box with her to the Instructor's lounge, saying nothing for the rest of the day until she said her goodbyes for the day.
Since that time she had been increasingly persistent in questioning him on all things Vulcan, her behavior appearing to be the normal curiosity found among his mother's people but her demeanor a bit odd, if not strange. She held eye contact for longer, started to arrive in his office before he did and go only after he took his leave. And then there was the day she questioned him about whether Vulcans could lie...
He shook his head to clear his mind and emptied his cup in one gulp. The rest of the recollection of that day was probably just an illusion caused by the tea and he would soon have Nyota's account to solidify his conclusion.
Spock refilled the cup and sipped it as left the lounge and walked down the hall towards the Flora I lab. He had finally solved his behavior away with the strange effects of Cymbopongon on his Vulcan physiology and no longer had the weight of talking to Pike and others over his shoulders. There was sure to be follow ups and paperwork along with a dreaded trip to the clinic but what is, is.
Spock entered the lab feeling more settled than he had all evening. That was until he got a glimpse of the room's interior.
Test tubes and beakers were broken into jagged shards and strewn across the floor. Multi-colored liquids stained the ground beneath them, so burning into the hard polish surface. What had happened? Why did they leave it this way?
He snapped his attention to the table that normally housed them, wiped clean of all but his terrarium which sat relatively undisturbed. Water condensed along the inside of the dome denoting that it had been recently watered. Who had done all this?
He set down his cup and gazed mesmerized at the mess below him until a patch of red caught his eye. Spock tilted his head and bent over to spy a swatch of ruby fabric snagged in the wood of the table top corner.
Red like that of a cadet's uniform.
A flash of his dream entered his mind and he felt his heart thunder in his side as his breath came in short, fluttering puffs, unnaturally loud in his ears.
He took the stiff patch of red cloth between his fingers and shoved it deep into his pocket before making an exit hastily out of the building, running once more into the night, filled with an unease that was becoming all too familiar.