Chapter 4

The second day finished just outside the canyon to Raithwall's tomb. Though they had spent a solid hour hacking at the Urutan's blood enemy and running back to claim their prize—"What did I tell you, Vaan? They gave us a weed," Balthier had said—they made up for lost time by pushing hard. Once again they ate their lunch on the run, and now they could retire at the foot of the canyon for a well-deserved rest.

Now that they could relax they moved with mind-numbing slowness. When it should have taken only ten minutes to set up tents, they spent almost half an hour on the task. Balthier collapsed on the unzipped sleeping bag with a grateful sigh, and immediately started dozing. He was brought out of it by Basch when the former Captain poked his head in and said, "We will need to set up watches again. Thankfully one person per shift should do."

Balthier flinched severely at the prospect but he said, "I'll take first watch then."

"No, I will take first watch," Fran interrupted from outside. "Balthier, rest. We will undoubtedly need you at full strength tomorrow."

"Thank you, Fran," he mumbled with a smile. He was just settling for sleep when his stomach ached insistently. "Damn. I wish I could save my dinner for tomorrow morning." But no matter, he knew he would never get to sleep so long as his attention was diverted on his stomach. Just as he was sitting up Fran poked her head in and tossed him a small bag of crackers and dried meat. He caught it and shook his head gratefully, "You know my habits far too well, Fran dear."

She crawled in gracefully somehow and sat next to him, and fixed him with such a scrutinizing gaze he shifted. "Now, Fran, you know it's impolite to stare."

"What's wrong?"

He blinked. "Pardon? Nothing's wrong."

"You have been subdued since our fight with the Urutan's blood enemy. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "Fran, it is nothing but vague memories brought to the surface when I approached it. Nothing more."

"If they were vague you would not be so subdued by them."

"Fran, leave it be. I'll shape up when I see this King Raithwall's treasure room. I promise." It was not very often he subsided with his light façade, but at the present he lacked the energy and the will to dodge around Fran's prying comments.

She studied for a moment, a little startled that he actually seemed to be pleading her with his eyes. She relented, "I must go and keep watch. Sleep well."

"Goodnight, Fran," he said before turning onto his side. Within moments he was asleep and was undisturbed through the entire night.

In the next few days the events flowed together so neatly—as everything had back in Rabanastre—that Balthier was convinced that his destiny lay on the same path as Princess Ashelia's. As Archadia's obsession with the Nethicite grew, so did Balthier's impulse to pursue the princess until he could vaporize the damnable material from existence. Why the hell should I pursue it? It's none of my business, he had thought angrily as he was led in cuffs through the Leviathan.

But it was because his knowledge of the situation that he felt obliged to see it to its end, wherever it lay. He had become indirectly enmeshed into the whole affair when Dr. Cid had begun tinkering with it—was it six years ago now? Just like it for my luck to end now. I suppose Emerson was right when he said everything balances out. My luck these past five years is finally being paid back in full. Hopefully the deficit is not great enough to warrant my death, he mused as he fiddled with a deck of playing cards, tapping the whole stack against the counter in an unconsciously agitated beat.

Balthier was in the Sandsea tavern in Rabanastre, enjoying a brief respite after their hopeless capture by Imperials, their miraculous escape, and the whole 8th fleet obliterated. And by what? The Nethicite of course. That material cannot be allowed to remain within this realm. It should be destroyed, but how can a man go about doing that? His grasp of the situation was unraveling fast and, for someone used to having things under control—or at least appearing in control—his tolerance at being dragged by his collar through this was waning. I don't suppose there is anything for it but to be dragged along. I can at least, however, come along with dignity. This was another reason why he'd taken the Lady Ashe's wedding band. Or, to be more precise, her late husband's wedding band.

She was another piece of this whole thing that had brought him nothing but anxiety and confusion. He wasn't sure when his thoughts had started frequently settling on her, but it had and he was sure he had first noticed when focusing on her rear end while walking to Raithwall's tomb. Honestly, if she did not want any uncouth looks then she should have never worn that damn skirt. What had disturbed him more was when she had been retrieving the Dawn Shard and inexplicably stopped as though something was blocking her way.

"Rassler." It had not been any more than a whisper, but it easily reached back to the rest of the party in the silent, stale tomb. Balthier frowned at her clear obsession of her long dead husband, but he had been perturbed by the jealousy stirring within him. Where the hell had that come from? She was a beautiful woman by all means, but simple beauty never had fully captured his attention like she did now. Part of it was the fascination at seeing a living contradiction. She did not hesitate to disparage thieves and pirates with unkind words, but appeared subjectively oblivious to the idea that she was conspiring in the shadows and creating further unrest in the world. It was her frigid demeanor and yet her fiery will; all of it blended to create an utterly unique hume. Very interesting. She reminds me of someone I knew…

Balthier's eyes widened at his train of thought and he abruptly switched it. No more! I'm sick of reliving the past! He purposely blanked his mind and—after he had shuffled the deck of the countless time—finally began dealing them into a game of Solitaire. As part of his normal carousing behavior for a pirate, he usually played cards with some strangers and bet up a storm, but whenever he was thinking he sought solitude. And now with his luck as sour as it was—even if actively cheating—he refused to lose more gil than he already had on this venture.

"Amazing, I expected you to be bartering off my husband's wedding ring."

He was so startled by her appearance that he turned without putting on his mask. There was such an intense expression of cold anger that Ashelia stepped back a pace, clearly startled by a hostility she had not seen present in him. Balthier abruptly realized the problem and instantly rearranged his expression into something more approachable, although a smug smirk hung on his lips. "Did I not say I'd give it back as soon as I found something more valuable?"

"It does not seem becoming of you to just 'give it back.' I imagined you would use it to attain that more valuable object," she said settling onto a stool at the counter. Her elbow rested on the counter to cradle her head and she continued staring at him, irritation crinkling her pale eyes.

Balthier feigned surprise and said, "My dear Pri—" he glanced around and then continued, "Ashe, you seem to be forgetting that I am a pirate. I do not barter and trade. I liberate."

"Liberate? You steal!"

"No, I liberate priceless objects from those who would have them collecting dust in storage when someone else could find a better use for it."

"And you give them to the poor like some Robinhood? You cannot get that one past me," she scoffed, narrowing her eyes even more.

"My dear, I am poor."

"Hah! I don't know if I've ever met anyone who lived more extravagantly."

He raised his eyebrows at her presumptions, and then replied, "Oh, you know my finances so well, do you? Tell me, Ashe, how much gil do you think it takes to maintain a ship, let alone a custom one, like the Strahl?"

"Well…"

"Customized parts for the Strahl and then labor. And how about food? With all the running and sneaking around I do I can work up an appetite. No, being a pirate is expensive and I can use all the gil I steal."

"Then why have such a ship if it's so expensive?"

"Then why live in a palace when you can live in a box?"

She opened her mouth to reply but floundered, unable to come up with quite a good enough retort. When she stopped to frown at him he wasn't paying any attention. It was finally focused on the card game that had been sitting untouched during their conversation. As he flipped cards over and put his aces up at the top he said, "I could have charged you more. I should have charged you more, especially considering my losses."

"Excuse me?" Outrage began clouding her face. Her hand that had been cradling her face fell to the counter and curled up into a ball as if she desired to clobber him.

He continued the conversation without looking at her, flipping and moving cards around as he did so. "The bounty on my head raised, damage to the Strahl, and lying about treasure in the tomb."

"The Esper is treasure."

Balthier shot her a withering look. "Unless it can make mechanical parts out of water then it is utterly worthless to me. You knew to what kind of treasure I was referring to."

"Of course, you would never understand. You have eyes only for treasure and you'd do anything illegal or immoral to attain it," she hissed, her pale face flushing dramatically due to her anger.

"Have I lied to you? Betrayed you? Cheated you out of something? I have done nothing to earn your ire, and yet you've lied and cheated me. And Vossler betrayed you."

"You broke into the Royal Palace to steal valuables."

"And you broke in to kill people."

"Ashe, you do not stand on a moral high ground above me. And until you realize that we should stop speaking. Opening our mouths will only serve to exacerbate our tempers. Have a good day." Balthier swept up the cards, gave her a courteous nod, and walked out without looking back.

Gods…I haven't spoken to a woman like that since… His mind trailed back and then when he lighted on it he squeezed his eyes shut. Since I was Ffamran. It felt inevitable. After running away from his past for so long, story-lines were floating up in front of his eyes like ghosts come back to haunt him. But they were not all bad. Most memories weren't.

I have been running for so long one would think I'd have the stamina to keep going. But I suppose I have to stop at some point. Balthier had stopped just outside the entrance of the Muthru Bazaar and had closed his eyes. When he opened them, it appeared a new spark had alighted in them and he smirked.

"Ffamran, you need to quit this job. I never see you anymore," a girl said in a disgruntled fashion, nestling her cheek in her right hand. She sighed when he simply laughed. The girl looked hardly more than his age, and unlike most Archadian women she was heavily tanned and wearing a simple tunic and short trousers. Her dark brown eyes were a little lighter than her hair, which had been slowly darkening to black as she grew older. And also unlike most girls her age, she was not swooning over Ffamran, but frowning at him.

Ffamran was sitting reclined against several pillows on the covers of his bed, sipping a glass of ice water. Dr. Tolmon had issued strict orders that he rest the whole afternoon, and he was given reprieve from his duties the next day as well. It's disheartening that I feel lucky that all Bergan cared to do was make me dehydrated.

After Drace had come to his rescue and pulled rank on him, Bergan had been waiting to enact his revenge on the young Apprentice. Ffamran just knew there was going to be trouble when he saw that Bergan was supposed to be his conditioner for that week.

"Ffamran, this is ridiculous! They can't run you into the ground. You're not even of age, yet, and you still have one more year at the Academy," Sari said, frowning severely.

"And then I'll need a job. What better one than being a Judge? Your parents are certainly looking forward to it," Ffamran commented, quirking an amused eyebrow at her.

She fidgeted at what he said and replied, "Well, of course they are! They're like every other Archadian. Obsessed with status and nothing more." She lapsed in a brooding silence when her eyes widened and she looked over at him warily, "You are not seriously considering…"

"Sari, I don't know anything yet. I am still only sixteen. I will worry about that later." He swallowed the last of the water in his glass, and then he moved to get up. Sari was sitting next to him on his bed though and she suddenly grabbed it from him.

"You just stay there and relax. I'll get you your water." She swung her legs over the side but he grabbed her arm.

"Oh please, Sari, allow me to maintain a little dignity and get my own water. I'm not so weak I can't do that."

She glanced around and said, "And just who do you need to impress? Your cat? I'm not sure you could get any closer. Besides, you'd clearly upset her by moving," she said with a smirk.

Ffamran snorted and then reached down to stroke the small animal's back. It had nestled up to his leg so closely it seemed like some large furry growth a part of his body. They were close enough that it did not even stir when he stroked it.

Sari returned and stretched luxuriously as she lay beside him in the bed. He rolled his eyes and merely took another giant swig of the water he gave her, and then he closed his eyes and sighed. She studied him with her dark eyes, her expression one of pondering and then she said, "Is it true? Did you faint in the Senatorial Meeting."

He grimaced heavily at that. If anything would hurt his dignity it was knowing that everyone else knew, but he could not lie to her. So he nodded almost imperceptibly. She blinked and asked, "Why? Was it just the dehydration?"

"No, I had locked my knees."

"Well, no wonder!"

"I had to!"

"Oh?" Sari crossed her arms and scowled at him, clearly showing her disapproval of the idea.

"They were trembling from the weakness. I would have caused a racket. The only thing I'm not disappointed about is having the next two days off."

Her eyes lit up. "Really? Two days? Excellent. I might just stay here."

"Ah, good, you can help me clean," he chuckled when she stuck her tongue out.

"I'd much rather just get in your way."

"I'll kick you out."

"No you won't. You're soft like that."

"You know me too well."

The glass of water was a little more than half empty now. Ffamran had leaned his head back against the wall and had closed his eyes. Several minutes later when he was on the verge of dozing off, Sari spoke again, "Do you ever wonder what the future holds and if there is just a thing as fate or destiny?"

His eyes opened and he turned them toward her and said quite solemnly, "I try not to. It's the only thing that keeps me sane."

Suddenly there was a hint of fear in her eyes and she said in almost a panicked tone, "You aren't thinking about…"

"No. Not yet, anyway. I suppose, though, that if this schedule keeps, even after I get back into the Academy then I may not have any other choice than to…end it somehow."

"Don't kill yourself!" There was panic in her voice now. She clamped her hands on his arm and stared into his eyes with such fear he recoiled. "You cannot do that to me, too! Why would you?! I realize life has been very hard for you recently, but you have to keep living! I could not bear to lose you!"

"Calm down! I was not really thinking about it. If there is one thing he did when he died, it was make me rethink such an act as committing suicide." Ffamran bowed his head and sighed, "Especially not after becoming so close to you. I would only deserve to be loathed if I did that to you."

Sari relaxed immediately and said, "I'm glad to hear it, but please, Ffamran! I implore you again: do not kill yourself. There has to be a better way."

"Running away might be serviceable."

She blinked. "Hmmm…I hadn't thought of that." And then she turned to stare at the wall, appearing to seriously ponder the idea much to his surprise. There was another comfortable silence and Ffamran found himself relaxing into another doze when, again, Sari poke, "Do you ever think it odd that we might never have met if Geridd hadn't killed himself?"

"Yes. Although I would like to think I'd have met you sooner or later."

"I wouldn't have run into you in the hall. Oh, hell, many things might not have happened. Although I doubt you would be lacking in a girlfriend." She laughed when he choked on the last bit of water.

"I much prefer the intellectually stimulating conversations we tend to have. I know a few other nice girls, but most have been trained by their mothers to think of nothing but this social game that Archades hierarchy has been molded around. They flock to me already because I'm a Judge. Or at least will be. Also, I don't know any other girl that has a sister as cute as you have."

"Ffamran, she's five-years-old."

"She's adorable! I see you are disgruntled. Jealous?"

Sari laughed. "Hardly. And cute, Ffamran? You said you appreciate my brains? And yet you love my sister because she's cute?"

"And carefree and innocent. She doesn't concern herself with finding a boy—."

"Yet."

"—she just worries about having fun. She remains untainted by Archades' atmosphere. I admire that in anyone."

"Hmm…I suppose I can see where you're coming from there. But are you sure it's not because you share the same intellectual capacity?"

Ffamran gasped in mock indignity but then began chuckling. He finally said, "Oh, that was mean. Forget you. Your sister's nice to me. I'll hang out with her more often. To tell you the truth, I can't believe your sister was actually born. You think your parents would have learned after you."

He continued laughing as Sari playfully shoved him, but then she said, "Well, could you have imagined the horror if she had been a boy instead? I would have appeared more like an angel."

Ffamran opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it and shook his head when a good comeback failed to come to mind. "I give."

She grinned widely but it was broken by a sudden yawn. When she failed to shake her head of the sudden wave of drowsiness, she gave in and laid her head down on his shoulder.

"Oh, thanks. Anything else I can get for you, sweetie?"

He smirked when she lightly smacked him on the head, "You can sew your mouth shut so I can get to sleep."

"No, I'm sorry. My bodily integrity outweighs your desire to shut it permanently."

"That's a shame, although am I right in saying I might rest easy knowing you're just as tired as I am, if not more so?"

"Yes…" For the third time during their conversation he had started dozing off. She spoke again, but this time he didn't' bother answering her.

"Sleep well, Ffamran."