Welcome to 'Spirit Exile', the next stop in our wedding fic. This little project of mine is constantly being pulled through the wringer, and yesterday this chapter was put through the finishing touches. It's finally ready to be unleashed to the world; let's take a look at our heroes and see what happens. Thank you very much for reading!
Theme of 'Spirit Exile': 'Sanctuary' End Version of Kingdom Hearts 2 OST, Dearly Beloved (reprise) of Kingdom Hearts 2 OST. Please note that only the last half of this chapter is told through my eyes. Shuichi's POV is dominant.
Three days have passed since my departure.
Every minute without you has been a year. Time is a cold, cruel enemy, one that won't leave you alone.
It laughs at you, knowing that you're waiting for sunlight to reach your tunnel. It tosses your emotions around, knowing that you're eager to seek an end to your pain.
An eruption of pain comes about whenever it's near. It does nothing but torment you...when you're waiting for your lover to find you.
The world has become brighter. Everything's so warm, so peaceful and calm...
...but how can my heart be calm...when you aren't near it?
You're so far...so far away...
...and...I'm beginning to think that...I don't even deserve you...
My last two nights weren't painful. Surprisingly, I was able to fall asleep with a smile on my face. Perhaps it was because of you, Eiri.
Even though you weren't anywhere near me, I could still feel you. I could still feel the warmth of your body against mine, the fervent touch of your skin. My heart shivered whenever I thought of you, but it didn't shiver out of pain or fear. The sensation was warm and wonderful; it was the same sensation that pierces my body...whenever the two of us snuggle.
Two days were no different from two years. I'm trying so hard to be patient...but I can't stop thinking of you. I'm trying so hard to focus on my work, but my mind can't tear itself from your face. It's strange, for all of my songs are centered on my feelings for you. 'Why can't I concentrate?' I've asked myself, but it didn't take too long for me to figure out the answer.
My heart, body and soul are tied to yours. When you aren't near me, I fall into this strange world...one that lacks stability. Everything has become foreign to me, from human speech to the mere concept of eating. I can't keep myself from crying out your name...but even if I could, I wouldn't want to.
Whoever said that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' didn't lie. It hurts...thinking of you...but at the same time, my feelings for you become deeper...with every beat my heart makes within time. That's also strange, since my feelings are so deep that they're able to transcend the deepest chasm...but they constantly grow, bearing no end in sight. My face turns into a beet whenever I just think of your voice...your gentle, piercing voice...
My last two nights were wonderful. You lulled me to sleep, and I happily wandered through dreamland...as my heart throbbed for your presence.
Last night, unfortunately, was nothing like those previous two nights.
Last night...I had a nightmare.
You didn't lull me to sleep, but perhaps I was just too tense to feel you. And I had fallen asleep after a long night of talking; my friends and I had spent the entire night sharing memories, flowing far into the core of the night. Perhaps I was just...too tired to feel you near me.
But then...that assumption died as soon as I found myself within a nightmare.
I found myself with a cold realm of dreams, walking amongst the streets of our home, Tokyo. Hiro was with me; he had decided to treat me to an ice cream cone (and you know how I am about ice cream). The two of us were going to our favorite parlor, the very one we had found as kids. The day was bright; the blue skies were clear, smiling with sunlight. Birds were releasing their songs upon the people of Tokyo, flying without a single care in the world. Everything seemed just right...
...but it wasn't.
The people around me were so distant, so far and cold. They had smiles on their faces, and their eyes were alive with energy...but something was wrong. They were a million years away from me, unable to detect my presence. I felt as if I were a small fish in the midst of an ocean; it was as if I had just moved to Tokyo a few minutes ago, for everyone gave off the aura of a perfect stranger. Somehow Hiro was able to connect to them; he fit in with the crowd perfectly, smiling and waving with the day's energy. It was strange...and for a moment, I couldn't figure out what was going on...until we entered the parlor.
The two of us ordered our favorite flavors. Hiro decided to order a chocolate cone, and I took a strawberry one. I was unable to shake off uncomfortable confusion, but I sat down with my best friend as if nothing was taking place. He wasn't worried about anything; in his eyes, everything was perfectly normal. We began a conversation, one that felt strangely empty and bottomless...foreign and cold.
Ten minutes elapsed. I spoke of how you had treated me to dinner one night...and Hiro's face went blank. He asked me something that caused my heart to drop.
"Eiri? Who's Eiri?"
Maybe he was just playing a game, I thought. We always liked to joke with each other; maybe he was just pulling my leg. I asked him what he was trying to get at, but...
"Shu, sometimes I just don't get you. I don't know who you're talking about."
Right then and there, the entire world dropped out of my hands. I searched for any sign of a joke, but Hiro's emotions were completely sincere. His face was blank, like the face of a confused professor. It was as if I had spoken to him in the weirdest language. I tried my hardest to jar his memory, but...nothing worked. I couldn't get that look off of his face, and it made my heart ache. To him, you were nothing more than a mirage I had created, a figment of my dreams.
I looked around at the other customers. They, of course, were smiling...but they were as distant as Hiro. The parlor, which was normally a warm place, was excruciatingly cold; I couldn't stop shivering. Something was wrong...very wrong.
"Hiro...how can you not know my Eiri? We're engaged, remember?"
His words caused the windows of my heart to shatter.
"Engaged? Shu, that must've been some dream you had last night. I mean, come on. How can you be engaged to someone without a RING?"
The color vanished from my face as I looked at my left hand...the very hand you had placed my ring on...the very hand you had kissed so lovingly.
There was nothing there.
I realized that the parlor wasn't cold. It was all me.
My body was cold and lonely, crying out for something it missed...dearly.
My heart had lost a huge piece of itself, and it was unable to operate.
Hiro shouted something at me as soon as I rose from my chair, but I didn't notice it. Through the crowds I carried myself, wanting to find our beloved home. In mere seconds I became a stranger to the world myself, unfamiliar with all of its ways. The day was so bright, and yet everything was so cold...so black and cold...
Fifteen minutes left before I found myself at our doorstep. Hope set in as I looked upon our front door, and a smile bloomed on my face. Everything about our home made me smile...because it was the place we made so many memories in. My heavy heart became lighter as I placed my hand on the doorknob, knowing that you were home. I turned the knob, but nothing happened, which caused me to search for my keys.
I didn't have any.
Strange. I always carried them.
Thinking that it was probably just some strange coincidence, I tossed off my fear and knocked on the door, beaming. After my fifth knock I called out your name, my heart singing with happiness. The mere sight of your face brought me the warmest of joy; I could already feel the pain I had felt slipping away. As soon as you opened the door, though, every bit of that pain returned in a flash. You greeted me with only one word.
"And?"
One word crossed my mind; Huh?
My smile held itself, but pain was tugging at its corners, pulling like children that were trying to restrain an angered parent. My voice came out as a tremble, filled with quivering disbelief.
"Eiri...it's me. I'm...I'm home!"
Your face...your soft, beautiful face...
...didn't respond.
Once again, I was speaking in another language, one I had invented all on my own.
"Sorry." you said after a moment of silence, frowning. The sound of your voice caused a wrench to squeeze my heart, but something else unleashed more pain. The look on your face destroyed me.
"Can you tell me why I would care about you being here? I don't even know who you are. Seriously, I don't even think you know where you live."
It was you.
You were right in front of me...and you didn't even see me.
Something was wrong...definitely wrong...
"Eiri! What are you doing? I thought we were supposed to be taking a bath together!"
Feeling as if someone had pulled my heart out of my chest, I fell to my knees. My heart ceased its beating, but at the same time it rose to a feverish pitch, a breakneck speed that would soon kill me. It rose even higher when a pair of arms threw themselves around your waist...and you turned from me...
...smiling...
...smiling with the magic you gave to me...smiling with those beautiful eyes of yours...
"We're still on, Yuki. Be patient. I think our visitor's a little lost."
I felt like vomiting.
I was right there...right in front of you...
...but...you couldn't even see me...
"Who is it?" the second voice asked, filling my heart with even more pain. You turned to your 'other half', still wearing the smile...you had given to me so many times...
"Don't know. Why don't you come and tell me?"
On the night before my departure, you showed me a picture of Yuki Kitazawa. It was a portrait he had taken, one with his sister Yoshiki. Through your story I realized that I would never meet him, would never have to compete with him...because...you told me...that you were mine...and I was yours.
He appeared right in front of me, his arms wrapped around your neck.
Waves of nausea flooded my body. I struggled to hold them back, but the stress caused me to fall to my knees. Someone had thrown a brick at my head, and I couldn't get my body to stop throbbing...
"Oh! I know who that is! It's Shuichi Shindou, the singer of Bad Luck! Shame, Eiri! How could you not recognize such a cute face?"
Your words tore my soul in half.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I don't pay any attention to anyone else."
I wrapped my arms around my body, but there was nothing I could to keep myself from shivering. Pain engulfed me as you gave your heart to Yuki Kitazawa...in a single kiss...
A kiss that should have found me...but you didn't even see me...
Something roused me from my dream. I didn't know what it was, but it was strong. Perhaps it was my nausea; I darted from my sleeping bag and went straight for the bathroom, then I became sick...violently sick. The entire world became blurry as I wrapped my arms around the toilet, shivering...
Someone put their arms around me a few minutes later. A familiar voice found my ears...it sounded like K's, but...my mind had shut itself off. I didn't care who was near me...all I knew was that I needed someone, anyone to hear me. I buried my head into his chest after ten more minutes, crying my eyes out until they were excruciatingly raw.
Several hours later, I rose from Hiro's bed. The sun was in its usual place, smiling the way it had so many times before. Suguru, K and Hiro were in the same room, sleeping; none of them were in their sleeping bags, though. Pain struck me as I realized they had kept a watch over me, worried about me because of what I had done. K was in a chair, right next to my bed, sleeping in the worst possible position. My other friends were on the floor, also in the worst positions. They had kept themselves awake...just for me...and then sleep came and kidnapped them, not presenting any comfort for their bodies at all.
Nausea rushed back to me in a flash as I searched for my ring, feeling as if someone had bashed my head into thirty bags of bricks. It vanished as soon as I saw that my ring, your gift of fidelity, was still in its place, shining with the everlasting warmth...of your smile. Happiness set in once again, but it was met with tremors of pain. I had never felt such awful pain before...not even during my stay with Deus...and that's saying a lot.
As soon as it went away, I got out of Hiro's bed to make something. Thanks to you, I had learned the ways of the kitchen. I knew I wasn't a gourmet chef, but there were a few things I could do. I was met by K's voice as soon as I reached the doorway, but I smiled at him...assuring him that I was perfectly fine. The others awakened, which made me aware of something; none of my dear friends were able to get any sleep...
I assured all of them that I was perfectly fine, then bounded off to Hiro's kitchen. During my journey I kept my eyes on my ring, beaming...smiling with the strength you had given me.
"K, what's going on?" Hiroshi Nakano asked, his face filled with urgency. Suguru's face was no different; he bore the look of a fretful father, one that had lost his only son after an argument. K wasn't any happier, for he looked as if he had to speak of world destruction. Bad Luck's manager ran a hand over his face, released a heavy sigh and spoke, his voice heavy with painful frustration.
"That was our dear Mizuki. Guess what, gentleman? Wedding preparations are in full swing. The ceremony's almost ready, but now there's a problem."
"What?" Suguru asked fearfully, waiting for the worst possible news. He received it.
"Prince Charming has flown the coop."
Gasps rose from both musicians. K nodded gravely, looking as if someone had just stolen every penny out of his life savings. "It's true, my loyal children." he said sadly, evidently disappointed and disheartened. "Eiri's vanished into thin air, according to Mizuki. She informed me that he went out for a walk last night...and never came back."
A second later, a tray of hot tea crashed to the floor. The three members of Bad Luck instantly looked to the doorway...and found a frozen songbird.