Chapter Four
Severus closed the door carefully behind him, his satisfaction over teasing Sirius, began to fade as he sat down opposite Remus. The small window behind him, smiled in the light, casting gloomy shadows over the two men.
"Okay..." Remus began awkwardly, with a small, nervous smile. Severus nodded, in thought, and began; "Well, as you know, I stumbled across you and Black, together the other night," as Remus listened, a trace of a blush began to outline his face, beneath the scars. "I'm not going to tell Sirius you know..." Remus announced, after a few moments silence. Severus bit his lip, to stop himself saying that he had already hinted at it on numerous occasions. "And why is that, if I may ask?" Severus asked, curiously. Remus shrugged, "Well you know how it is, if he knew about us, then he..." Remus' blush became more pronounced, "...that is to say, if he knew that you knew, then he wouldn't be too pleased" Remus corrected himself.
Severus smiled slightly, "I often wondered, you know, about the two of you. There was always something about the pair of you that seemed to say something was going on. And, despite what you may think, I'm rather happy for you, to have found a partner at long last." This was quite surprising news to Remus, but he composed his expression before replying, "Thank you Severus, yes, James used to say the same thing," Severus' expression grew darker at the mention of James, and so Remus thought it was best to change the subject, "It was a heated meeting today, wasn't it?" he interjected. Severus rolled his eyes, and ignored the attempt at a new subject, continuing with his earlier thoughts.
"Yes, deep down I quite like to see more couples interacting in the world." He conceded, Remus thought he heard a trace of bitterness in Severus' voice, and prompted him to talk further, "Severus...have you...been...in love?" he watched Severus closely, to see his reaction. As it was, the only indication that Severus had reacted to the statement, was the thin layer of sweat appearing on his forehead. Remus frowned, trying to imagine the greasy haired child he knew at school, displaying any other signs of feelings other than hatred, pain and embarrassment.
When he spoke, Severus' voice was pensive, as he stared past Remus, seeing the past, through his eyes; "Yes, she was brilliant. Talented, friendly, and a muggle-born" Remus noticed that Severus' eyes tightened upon the mention of the phrase, "she saw the good in people, as I'm sure you know" he said with a pointed glance at Remus. "But, I was only ever a friend to her." He finished, looking down at the floor. Remus sighed, trying to imagine what would have happened if Sirius had only remained a friend to him, the idea pained him, and so he felt he understood Severus' anguish.
Remus' eyes opened wide, briefly as the realisation of who the girl was, "Did Lily know how you felt?" Remus began, leaning forward from the old chair. When Severus looked back at Remus, his face was filled with pain, and the end of his eye lashes were slightly wet. "No," Severus answered quietly, "I never had the guts to tell her, not with James and..." Severus frowned suddenly, and rose from his chair, turning to face the bookshelves, "Who said I was talking about Lily?" Severus demanded, but the pain in his voice diminished any anger he wanted to feel. Remus rose quietly, and stood beside Severus, "Which other muggle-born could you have been friends with?" Severus turned slowly, looking at Remus with a slightly confused, and longing expression, "You" he replied, as he brought his lips to Remus'. Surprised, Remus stood still for a moment, but when he gave in, ending his resistance, and returned the kiss, Severus pulled away, looked at Remus and rushed out of the door leaving a muddled and overwhelmed Remus behind.