I entered the asylum on Friday with a couple of energy drinks in my bag. I gave a huff not really excited to work ALL night with Nautia, who was running late. If she didn't show up I wouldn't be surprised.
I scanned my card at the see through door that allowed me to see into the day room. I was nearly shocked when I saw Erik interacting with Honey. She was tugging at his hand, pulling him over to the window that overlooked the woods. I smiled. He had come out. I entered the day room and put my stuff in the cubicle. I went across the room and went to his side.
"I see you have come out of your room, Erik." I told him. He looked at me and smiled his blue eyes warm this time around.
"I forgot how beautiful the area surrounding the asylum was. It's been so long since I've seen it in daylight." He told me. I smiled gently.
"Well maybe that's an incentive to get you to come out more." I told him. He laughed a little.
"The only incentive I have to come out is you." He told me. My heart started to pound in my chest as his voice ensnared me. I was speechless for a moment.
"Well then it's an honor." I told him after I finally came out of my trance. Erik's attention was stolen from me by Honey as she pulled him away from me and out of the day room. There was a library down the hallway leading into the dayroom. Honey sometimes dragged me into the library, she would then curl up in my lap and I would read to her a book of fairy tales. I supposed she was doing that with Erik now. I snuck in behind them and saw the two sitting in the armchair. She sat in his lap and curled up, her head tucked under his chin, as he read to her with a content smile on his face.
I left the library and went to my cubicle; Nautia called and told me that she couldn't make the nightshift. I was going it alone. Honey tugged Erik out of the library. The masked man and I met eyes, this time it was like a warm spark throughout my body as I looked down with a blush on my face. I found myself getting excited about being alone with him tonight. He left Honey and came over to the cubicle. He stared at me expectedly. I knew he wanted me to come out. His eyes coaxed me out and I found myself in a daze as I left the cubicle.
"Hello again, Lee." He told me. I smiled at him, my haze was fading away. I found myself wishing I could lay with him forever. I couldn't tear my eyes from him own. It was like he was holding me captive.
"Just be glad I'm not doing this intentionally." He told me. The spell broke and I was in control of myself again.
"What?" I asked, whispering, hardly able to bring my voice higher.
"I'll explain later." He told me he then disappeared down the hall. I watched him keenly. I went back about my business.
Time went by and it was time for the patients to go to their rooms. I picked up Honey and took her to her room, I helped her brush her long blonde hair and tucked her in. I kissed her forehead and sat down in the chair after turning off the light and switching on the night light. The door was still open a shadow fell over us and Honey gasped in delight.
"You came." She said, sitting up. I turned and saw the shadowed figure of Erik. He strode in with pride swarming around him like a storm. He grabbed one of the adult chairs from the short drawing table and placed it down beside me then took a seat.
"You asked me to sing you a lullaby. It's been such a long time since I've been able to sing for someone and they not retreat from me." Erik told her softly. I could tell that by merely speaking he could put her to sleep.
"Will you sing now?" She asked eagerly. He smiled and nodded. He took in a quick breath and started to sing, what filled the room quietly was so beautiful I nearly cried.
You are loved, just as you are…
You are loved, just as you are…
Can you feel it in your precious heart?
You are loved…. Just as you are
You are safe, you safe, you are home, you are held.
You're never alone
The light you are could make angels sing.
So grateful for... the joy and love you bring.
You are loved… just as you are
You are loved… just as you are.
Can you feel it… in your precious heart?
You are loved… just as you are
Just as you are…
Honey was out like a light. Erik and I quietly stood and walked out of the room. I silently shut the door and locked it. I turned to Erik with tears in my eyes.
"Words can't express how beautiful that was, Erik! I mean I've heard you singing through the vents but right next to me… Erik, you're phenomenal." I told him breathlessly. He smiled softly.
"Thank you Leamera." He told me. I smiled; a chill went down my spine as my softly spoken name passed his lips.
"Now that Honey is asleep and all patients are in their rooms, what do we do with our time?" Erik asked. At the moment I just wanted him to sing again. I wanted him to sing to me. I was jealous that Honey was sung to sleep by a man whose voice was so heavenly that no earthly words known to man could describe it without falling short. I wanted to curl up against him and let him lull me to sleep.
"Are you doing this to me!? Are you putting these desires in my head?" I demanded quietly. Erik looked shocked, like he too had just come out of a trance of his own.
"What? No, I would never dream of it! If I want you to free me I want it to be of your own will." He replied, sounding clearly disgruntled. Was I really starting to love him? I stared at him in disbelief, he returned my gaze with sweetness in his eyes.
"Has this happened with anyone else from my family?" I asked, my voice trembling. My hand was on my throat, I was trying to calm myself. My complete undoing was his touch. He gently grabbed my shoulders and an ecstatic energy passed through me and everything went black.
I woke up on the couch. I could see Erik's outline in front of the window. I sat up.
"What happened?" I asked. He turned, the white of his mask glowing in the low glow of the dimmed overhead lights.
"I touched you and you fainted. Right before we were both feeling something strange. I'm sorry." He said quietly. I stood up uneasily only to sit back down.
"I'm going to kill Nautia." I muttered under my breath. I heard Erik laugh to himself.
"Did you hear that?" I asked him, he nodded.
"W-what were you feeling?" I asked him. Erik was quiet for a moment.
"Believe me; I've learned my lesson about moving too fast. But I wanted you. I wanted to marry you, watch you have my children. I wanted to finally grow old with you. When I carried you over here to the couch, it was one of the best moments of my life." He told me quietly and shamefully.
"What about you, what did you feel?" He asked, coming over to the couch and sitting beside me, close to me.
"I just wanted to curl up with you and let you sing me to sleep." I told him. Erik gave a heavy sigh.
"Of course I have sensual desires" He said. I touched his hand, afraid I might faint again, but the energy that was building between us wasn't there. It was like when he touched me earlier was like touching a doorknob and getting shocked, the static electricity building up and then being transferred.
"It's okay." I told him, he looked to me with pain filled eyes and it hurt to see him like that. He was my friend and I cared for him dearly. I reached up to his face and I knew that the trance was coming back; Erik's eyes were becoming glassy, yet still focused on me. I touched the bare side of his face, his flesh was smooth and warm beneath my fingertips. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, I traced the line of his jaw, I allowed my fingers to dip down to his neck, almost unaware of what I was doing. He gasped and his eyes flew open. I yelped and stopped, snapping out of my trance. It seemed when one of us broke the spell the other came out of it with them. He gazed at me with such curiosity.
"I never knew that it would be like this." He said quietly.
"What?" I asked my voice low again. I shook visibly.
"Nothing." He said. I stared at him in wonder. He stood.
"I don't wish to frighten you anymore tonight, Leamera. I'm going to go to bed, good night." He told me, giving me a weary glance. It wasn't him that frightened me. It was what I was feeling. I didn't want him to go. But I didn't stop him. He faded into the darkness of the hall that led to the back stair well. I stared at the gaping black spot; the lights were off in the hall so the patients could sleep. I returned to my cubicle, where I stayed until dawn.
When I got home I went straight to my room, not even bothering to say hello to my mother, who was awake and waiting for me with love. I felt bad afterwards. The bed I laid in didn't feel right. I wanted him to be in the bed with me, holding me and kissing me.
"What is going on Elizabeth?" I asked quietly. Finding myself shocked at what I had just said. What happened yesterday really was just a dream. Nothing else. I snuggled into the pillow, burying my face in the soft fabric that smelled of lavender. Mom had washed my bed clothes. I gave a heavy sigh. Mom came in the room, I was weary. Last time this happened it was a dream.
"Hello dear. Are you alright? Did Erik do something to you?" She asked, sitting down on my bed. I shook my head.
"He sang to Honey. He sang her to sleep. And after we left her room, we both just entered this trance. Like we were hypnotized. The first time I thought it was him, but when I snapped out of it so did he. He touched me after that, he grabbed my shoulders and this energy shot through me, I fainted, Mom. When I woke up we had another spell like that. I touched his face, moving along his jaw, I touched his neck and he got loose from it, only seconds after that did I, what is Mama?" I asked her
"I don't know baby, maybe it's part of his spell. Did he seem to know what was going on?" Mom asked. I shook my head.
"He was just as startled as I was." I told her. She pursed her lips and brushed the bangs out of my face. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to hear his voice again. I wanted him to sing again
"Go ahead and get to sleep, baby." She told me. I nodded as she stood and left. I stripped my clothes and put on my comfy pajamas and buried myself under the covers.
When I woke up I found a note from Mom saying that she and Andrew went out. They would be back by supper time. I went into the living room and turned on the TV. I watched for a while, managing to keep my mind of my new and sudden need to be with Erik. My door opened and Andrew came in, Mom was following him.
"Hey girl. Sleep well?" He asked. I nodded, my slumber was wonderfully dreamless. I found myself preferring to be silent, not wanting to speak. Andrew gave me a strange look. I returned my attention to the movie I had put in to play
"Are you okay?" Andrew asked, coming over and sitting down beside me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." I told him, Mom gazed at me with concern. We sat watching the movie like the family we were.
But as I watched the movie, my mind drifted back to Erik, I imagined him waiting for me with open arms, singing to me, calling me to him. I felt like a part of me had been torn from me and given to Erik. He still had it. I would feel empty if I were to never join him. I didn't know just how far I had gotten. I didn't know how far I had gone past the point of no return.