Thanks to My Reviewers: Dally2, Sugar144(and her evil twin Suger133) , Jouecelin Hades, Angel of Vengeance8 , Jelissalover and the uniquely named Woodlawnian. And no, I'm not Bob Russell(or John Kapelos, to be one the safe side, he played him in the show.)

Chapter Four

The five youths couldn't believe their collective eyes and ears. Taylor?! With the 45 ish Captain Russell?

Five voices rang as one :" EEEWW!!!!"

Taylor: Don't judge me. He's just a cuddly wuddly little teddy bear once you get to really know him."

Daley, rubbing at her eyes: ' I may have to gouge them out to get that image out of my head now."

Eric had an inevitable smart ass comment, " Does a pedobear hibernate in the winter?" He ignored the well manicured bird Taylor shot him."

" Your asses are mine now, " growled said ursine .

" Yikes, " Mel said, " Now I gotta get 'em out, " as she started rubbing violently at her eyes.

Jackson looked at the steady barrel of the twelve gauge which as pointed at them, " Are you just gonna blaze aay or what? " he seemed unnaturally calm in the face of death.

" Oh no, I plan on making you kids get freaky first. I'll be sending the videos out on a link later, Bwah Ha Ha !" he laughed theatrically at their collective disgust.

Moments later , he had led them into the basement of the house. There as a huge king sized mattress on the bare floor, liberally strained various fluids.

Taylor spoke up: " This is where he made a woman out of me."

" Suits you somehow." Mel said with a grimace.

Eric : " What happened, did he finally puncture his inflatable one?" He stumbled as Russell shoved him from behind.

" I bet you know all about inflatable women, you little rich shit. It's had as hell to patch 'em up." he moaned.

" Yeah, even bicycle patching kits don't work so good on them. Uh, how would I know. Women fight over me all the time." he claimed , to more than one look of amazement at the lie.

" Yeah, the loser has to take him home."' Taylor interrupted him, draping over the pilot as he turned the cameras on.

Eric : " Seriously, they bang on my door all night."

Nathan: " Yeah, " Let us out, we're locked in here with a guy and his rubber woman!""

The balding man, dressed in khaki pants and a retina assaulting Hawaiian shirt turned and pointed the weapon squarely at Daley.

" Your turn first Red. You and Taylor are gonna freak for an hour or so, before I get to the main event, which is you and me."

Daley fought down vomit, " I'd rather screw Eric seven nights a week than touch you or that traitor." she spat at them.

Eric spoke up: " Could I have that in writing?"

" You do it or pineapple hair here, " he swiveled the gun to cover Nathan, ' gets a buckshot hairdo." " Now strip to your drawers and get on the matt!"

Reluctantly, Daley complied: Finally, she stood there in a powder blur sports bra and oddly old fashioned underwear.

" Ha, granny panties, I should have guessed." Russell laughed. Now go get on the matt on your hands and knees away facing away from everyone while I get a surprise ready for you."

Daley did as directed. She didn't notice a closet door opening to the back of the room near the others.

Russell boomed: " Hope your ready, 'cause you're about to get it with no grease! Now Lex!"

And a jet of water shot across the room and nearly flipped Daley over as it splashed on her behind with tremendous pressure.

She got up freezing cold and fighting mad: " What the hell?"

All seven of them, including Lex, were standing there laughing at her!

" Happy Birthday Daley!!!"

" Are you people out of your minds?! My birthday's not until next week!' she spluttered in outraged confusion.

" Man, we punked her bitchy ass but good ! And now I know what it'd take for me to get in her granny panties too." Eric laughed raucously at her expression, a melange of emotions racing across her face.

Lex spoke up: " I knew you'd fall for it. You always loved mysteries almost as much as trashy romance novels. " He beamed up at Jackson, who had walked over and put a companionable arm on his shoulder.

Jackson spoke up: " I admit, I was skeptical about it all at first, but then we ran across Captain Russell in the Mall. He was trying to get a job at a shoe store, of all places."

Nathan spoke up: " yeah, it just wasn't fair, he'd lost his planes, his license and his livelyhood all because Jory's mom and dad kept on and on about how it was so wrong of him to have went into the woods with three underage kids. And they kept it up until he was fired."

Surprisingly, Eric spoke up in Russell's defense: " Yeah, I was a jerk most of the time we were on the island,"

" Most" , Mel mumbled, " Try all."

Eric ignored her; " And I got sick and almost died there, same as he did from malaria. He didn't actually hurt anyone. Even when he was outta his head, he didn't even sleep in the same building as the others."

Russell spoke up: " It wouldn't have been right, I have kids older than you guys . And someone had to make sure nothing happened to the boat. Although if I'd know dumbass here, " he stuck his tongue out at Eric, ' as gonna torch it, I wouldn't have bothered."

Jackson got them back on track: " Anyway, we wanted to give you a mystery to solve . And , to be honest, Lex was pissed at you for the blackmail tape you had. So, we combined it all."

" But I got rid of the tape six months ago!" Daley protested.

Lex looked shocked , " But, but, why didn't you tell me?"

Daley snarled, " If you would have quit being such a know it all on the interviews I would have . And why did Taylor help?'

" After the way you treated me on that island you seriously have to ask that??" Taylor said in outrage.

Mel spoke ; " This is like an intervention Daley. We all care about you, but since the show came out on tv, you've been worse than ever. You have to stop demanding to be right all the time. You're not a bad person, but you're shutting us out, it's like you forgot everything you learned after we got home."

Lex broke in:" Day, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted the tape gone. I was wrong for spying on you." He walked over to offer a hug. She resisted for a second, then finally returned it. She had a concerned look on her face. A question hung from her lips.

Daley's curiosity got the best of her." Then why do all these adversary stories? Just to lure me here?"

Cody spoke: " Partially. See, the thing is, " and he looked serious now, " We did come here for two reasons. One was to get you. The other was to find adversary. Mel actually found the stories, but we really don't know who it is. Lex hacked his password and the Helping Out A Buddy story came from Taylor and me. But all the rest came from him, her , or it. "

Taylor bowed in the corner, " Ah, my masterpiece of writing. It was easy. Guys really do dumb things like that."

For some reason, Jackson, Eric and Nathan all started whistling for a moment, carefully not looking at one another.

Mel: " Horndogs. Each and every one of you."

Eric: " Taylor, you are such a perv. I'm actually turned on that you'd think of something like that."

"EEWW!" was the response.

Daley looked pale: " But if you have his password, can't you shut him down?"

Lex said: " Ten minutes ago, he changed the password. He's locked us back out. All we know is he lives in Memphis, or close by. And this was the address. The house was empty so we had Taylor rent it and put Russell here to scare you."

Daley drawled: " You succeeded beyond your wildest dreams. I swear, I'll tone the attitude down, but what about adversary? He's still out there."

" Typing."

Across the road, a six foot tall form, medium in build, was looking at the house he had moved from a month ago. His security systems still worked. He knew someone had been there and he'd come to investigate. He suspected it had a connection with his hijacked fan fiction account. He'd finally stopped that by bribing a worker for the site.

" You people haven't heard the last from me. You think I've wrote perverted stories, you ain't seen nothing yet," he swore as he keyed his pda on and walked off into the night, steadily typing away. " Damn w key, " was the last word he said as he vanished .

AUTHORS NOTE: Hope you enjoyed it.