Fandom: Kuroko no Basket
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Romance,
Pairing: Aomine/Kise
Summary: Recipe for disaster: One baby Kise. One oblivious Kise. One reluctant Aomine. And this is what happens when you check all three.
Warning: OOC-ness everywhere, Aomine/2!Kise, foul language, shounen-ai
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Kuroko no Basuke or any of its characters.
Aomine Daiki woke up in the morning to the incessant beeping of his mobile phone. He had fished out the electronic device from somewhere under the bed sheets with the intention of ignoring whatever message he was being sent and cursing the sender to the deepest pits of hell for interrupting his peaceful slumber, sandwiched between the wall and two Kise Ryoutas. Well, he had until he took one look at the sender ID and threw all those thoughts out the window. One does not simple ignore Akashi Seijuurou and for good reason too. That heterochromatic ex-captain of his was pretty infamous for having slightly violent tendencies.
'Daiki, kindly meet me at the airport as soon as you receive this message or be wary of unpleasant misgivings. –Akashi S.'
Aomine admired the way Akashi could give his texts such a formal polite façade whilst sending chills down the spine of whomever unfortunate enough to read them. But Akashi was by no means impossible to persuade as long as logic was properly used and not wanting to skip school, however untrue in Aomine's case, made for a rational argument. As if on cue, a second message arrived.
'There is no need to concern yourself with your presence at the educational institute you attend. I already had a friendly discussion with your principal. He is aware of your situation and has kindly agreed to give you the day off. Please make your way to the airport immediately. An do bring along some cash. –Akashi S.'
Aomine groaned. He was pretty sure their discussion was anything but friendly, especially when Akashi was doing the talking. He also doubted the principal would kindly give him a day off. Nonetheless he quickly brushed up and changed his clothes grabbing his breakfast, wallet, keys and phone on the way to the door. The journey to the airport would take a few hours.
"Papa? Where are you going?"
Snap. Ryouta was standing some distance away from him, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He must have woken up while Aomine was moving rather carelessly around the house.
"Go back to sleep Ryouta." He scooped up the child, bringing him back to the bed he had crawled out from. "I'm just going to school for a bit." Ryouta felt something was off and looked like he still had many things he wanted to say but having just woken up, not enough co-ordination to do so. He did clutch Aomine's pants as if not wanting to let go until he got a better answer. On the same bed, Kise stirred wincing a little as he put pressure on the injuries he sustained the night before. Ryouta turned his attention to Kise, letting go of Aomine's pants to scurry over to the other teen. His expression was a mixture of concern and guilt.
"Take care of Kise while I'm gone." The statement was an effective distraction
The boy nodded, completely not realising his guardian had yet to properly answer his question. He had other priorities now. After the incident last night, Ryouta had promised himself he would do his best to take care of the teen. It had been his curiosity which injured him after all. Kise had chuckled at the declaration, saying how he was fine.
Aomine quickly took this opportunity to leave-keeping Akashi waiting was never a good idea. Meanwhile, Ryouta had just barely registered the sound of the door closing when he had a brilliant idea. He would make breakfast for Kise as an apology. Not to mention he would be taking care of him. He called out for his father once then realised, much to his disappointment, that he was already gone.
'It's ok; I'll do this myself then!' He thought giving himself an encouraging nod before proceeding to scout the kitchen.
Akashi Seijuurou was standing by the entrance of the airport waiting for a certain Aomine Daiki to show up. He had just heard very disturbing news from Midorima whilst in Germany and had wanted to confirm it himself.
The night before, Midorima was behaving strangely during their online game of shogi. Midorima always lost but even so his moves were strategic and even though they never worked, Akashi couldn't fault Midorima's logic. Last night was a different story. Midorima seemed distracted, making stupid moves that eventually lead to his quick defeat. This greatly concerned Akashi. Midorima had been best at keeping a cool head even when provoked back during middle school something must have really bothered him and Akashi, contrary to popular belief, was actually a very caring person. Much more so when anyone he considered close enough to be a friend was concerned. So he did what any good friend would do and demanded politely inquired what the source of his friend's woes might be.
He was not expecting to learn about two other ex-teammates of his doing it in a classroom.
Sure it was not such a surprise that they were gay. Akashi prided himself for always being right, that included knowing about all the minor relationship issues going on between the members of his team. He would admit despite knowing they were bound to end up together, it was a little too soon for them to have progressed that far. Aomine would be too indirect and Kise couldn't catch on to save his life. Akashi always found it weird that Kise would be so slow when it came to affairs of the heart yet was able to pick up techniques in a flash.
He would need direct confirmation. He decided he would ask Aomine first.
From where he was standing, he could see a figure running towards him. Finally. "Long time no see Daiki." He greeted when the person was within earshot.
"What do you want?" Aomine grunted obviously annoyed although his breath was too ragged for any tone to be distinguished.
"Just a short chat, Daiki. Let's go over to the cafe over there. I would like to talk over some food."
Aomine followed apprehensively. You can never be too cautious when it came to Akashi. It wasn't until he sat down did he realise what Akashi wanted him to bring cash for.
Ryouta was trying to think of a simple recipe he could pull off, one that didn't require much culinary skill to prepare and was easy enough for his chubby little five year old fingers. He suddenly recalled when his father had made him breakfast the previous day. It didn't look too hard. Cereals and milk. Yeah that he could handle.
He quickly hopped over to the fridge and soon realised that he wasn't tall enough to open the door by himself. Not to be discouraged, he went to the living room looking for a stool to boost his height. He found one and dragged it towards the kitchen, knocking down piles of newspapers on the floor.
Positioning the stool in front of the fridge door, he climbed up and pulled. Soon he was hit by a blast of cold air. He shivered slightly looking for the carton of milk that his father had used last time. He pulled it out and settled it on the floor before proceeding to look or the cereal. When he had gathered all his provisions, he closed the fridge door and using the stool, he climbed up to the sink area to get a bowl and a spoon. He brought both items down to his little workplace on the floor.
He then did his best to mimic how his father had previously prepared the meal. First pour in the cereal then the milk. His grip wasn't very good and he had some difficulty pouring the substances into the bowl. As a result, a huge pool of milk was split onto the floor with bits of cereal floating in it ever so often. He carried the bowl and threaded as carefully as possible to the bedroom which Kise was sleeping in. Drops of milk trailed his path from the kitchen to the bedroom as the bowl's contents wished about dangerously due to Ryouta's lack of balance.
When he reached his destination, he settled the bowl on the edge of the bed before clambering on himself to wake the sleeping teen.
"Wake up. Hey, wake up." He called, poking his fingers into Kise's face.
Kise made a muffled sound as he slowly came awake. He looked around the unfamiliar room. Why? Oh. He nearly got run over by a car.
"Breakfast." Ryouta said offering the bowl to Kise.
Kise stared at it in surprise, "Did you make this?"
Ryouta nodded, feeling very proud of himself. And just a tad hungry too. Preparing breakfast had taken up a lot more energy than he thought it would. He couldn't help blushing when his stomach let out a soft rumble.
Kise chuckled at this. "You're so cute." He mused, giving Ryouta a spoonful of his own creation. "You're feeling hungry, right?"
After breakfast, Kise got up to wash the bowl even though Ryouta had insisted he would do it and boy was he shocked. The place was a mess. It was already untidy when he arrived the day before but now it looked positively worse. Kise knew Momoi came over on a fortnightly basis when his parents were not around to make sure Aomine hadn't drowned in garbage, died in his sleep or anything ridiculous like that. But how much rubbish could one pile up in a mere two weeks? A lot, apparently.
Kise promptly decided he would help Aomine clean up his house, as a token of his appreciation and gratitude. "You want to help me tidy up?" Ryouta nodded.
"So how's Ryouta?"
"Fine. Why would you ask? Ah no actually he was pretty upset after last night although it wasn't his fault."
"You guys had a fight already?" Akashi probed further, sensing something amiss in Aomine's response.
"Fight? No it's just that he…" He paused seeming to think about something for a while before he continued, "Oh, that Ryouta."
"Why? Is there someone else you know by that name?" Akashi never expected Aomine to nod. Oh this would get interesting. "Care to tell me more?"
Fifteen minutes and many flying dishes later Akashi had learnt everything he needed to know about Aomine's new circumstances which pretty much encompassed everything. At this moment, the waitress came with their order. He then realised his agenda had not yet been fulfilled.
"So you and Ryouta are in a relationship now, I presume."
Aomine choked on his latte. "I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!" He screamed cheeks slightly tinted fuchsia. Everyone in the cafe turned to look at him. Realisation that Akashi was referring to other Ryouta combined with the stares from the other customers was enough to turn his cheeks a brilliant scarlet.
"You're embarrassing, Daiki. I only asked because I've been told by a very traumatised Shintarou about your- how should I put this- endeavours? With Ryouta that is."
"No way!" Aomine hissed.
"Is that true?" Akashi was waving around a pair of scissors now. Aomine anxiously leaned into the seat, as far away from the weapon he could get. How did Akashi even manage to get through security with that thing in his bag?
"I swear, there's nothing."
Akashi sighed and lowered his weapon. He knew the other male was speaking the truth. "Oh and you remember today's Kise's birthday, right?" Yes, Akashi had a habit of reminding all the members of each other's birthdays and he made it mandatory for them to at least wish them a happy birthday. It was part of team bonding at first but it slowly became a habit that even when they weren't on the same team anymore, he would still do so.
He watched Aomine's eyes widen slightly before the tanned boy bolted straight out the café doors. Akashi had never seen him run that fast before, not even on court. All that training paid off after all and Aomine had foolishly left his wallet behind. Splendid.
"Excuse me," He waved a waitress over, "What's the most expensive thing you've got here within forty bucks?"
Aomine deserved that much for causing him so much trouble. Actually, not quite. He took out his phone and dialled a number. It pays to have arranged backup beforehand.
Aomine did plan on buying Kise's birthday present over the weekend, he solemnly swore he did. Unfortunately, as Midorima would put it, fate had other plans for him. Making a straight dash for the nearest shopping district, which wasn't very far and catered mainly to tourists, Aomine thought he wouldn't run into any more problems.
Fate is a bitch.
Of all the places in Japan, he had to quite literally run into Kuroko Tetsuya and that new light of his, Kagami Taiga. Also he noted his wallet wasn't with him. He must have left it back at the café. Aomine thought he would start watching Oha Asa soon.
"Good day Aomine kun."
"Why the hell are you here?"
"I'd like to ask the same of you."
Kuroko gave a small knowing smile before saying, "Nothing much, I've just come to buy Kise his birthday present. He's been talking about this movie for months now." Kagami opened his mouth to say something but was quickly silenced with a sharp blow to the gut from Kuroko.
Aomine had forgotten how the blond practically talked to Kuroko about everything so he would know his likes and dislikes best.
"You haven't bought him his present yet have you?" He continued. Aomine could have sworn he saw Mr. Poker Face Kuroko Tetsuya smirk.
"Here. I'll be a good friend and let you have this. Kise has been going on about this movie for months now." Kuroko said, passing Aomine a rectangular neatly wrapped present. Aomine blinked a couple of times; this would be the first stroke of good luck in a very long while. He didn't notice Kuroko grinning.
"Why'd you lie like that?" Kagami asked as soon as Aomine was out of sight. "We're only here because you said you freaky ex-captain told us to pick up something and wasn't that bundle you just gave Aomine that horror movie the very thing we were supposed to pick up!"
"You're not seeing the big picture Kagami kun. Ah it would be nice to be a fly about now."
"Well, it'd be pretty funny to see Kise shrieking in fright when he watches the disc."
Kuroko stops walking. Facing his friend, he gives him a smile. The kind of smile you'd find Akashi wearing and Kagami is momentarily chilled. "But whoever said anything about Kise?"
Aomine really believed his luck was changing. The journey home had been smooth and hassle free. He had Kise's present for free no less, clutched in his arms. Akashi had said he'll return his wallet as soon as possible when he called the shorter teen. He also, freakishly enough, offered to arrange for Ryouta to be put in a kindergarten. And when he got home, he was greeted with the sight of his house spotless and tidy whilst Kise was cooking dinner in the kitchen wearing an apron.
"Mama, Papa's back!" An excited Ryouta squealed when Aomine came through the door. Aomine felt like he was already married. Since when did Ryouta address Kise as his mother?
"Aominecchi welcome back." Kise said coming out of the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready soon."
"I helped with the washing and things." Ryouta piped in. Aomine ruffled his hair.
"Oh yeah Kise I got you a present."
Kise lit up immediately, bouncing over to the tanner teen to grab his present from him. He quickly unwrapped it while murmuring a sea of 'Thank You's and couldn't be more thrilled to find that his friend had bought him a movie. Sure it was titled "Cursed" and the cover photo was pretty gruesomely stained with blood and dead bodies but Kise was content. Aomine on the other hand took one look at the cover and made a mental note to check Oha Asa the next day. Damn Tetsu.
"Let's watch it now." Kise exclaimed.
"No we don't really have to. What about dinner?" Aomine protested.
"I wanna watch. I wanna watch." Ryouta said. Aomine was pretty damn sure the movie would be at least have an NC16 rating and tried shooing Ryouta away. Ryouta would have none of it. Meanwhile Kise had already inserted the disc and was making himself comfortable on the sofa. Ryouta followed suit.
Aomine was going to eject it but the screaming started and he was very close to the screen. He paled, bouncing back immediately to the sofa and sitting down. He looked down at the floor, around, above but never directly looking at the screen. No he was not good at dealing with the supernatural unlike Kise who would be afraid at some points and then shrug it off like it was nothing.
"Aominecchi cannot stand horror movies, huh?"
"Shut up."
Kise pouted a little then he extended his arms and hooked them around Aomine's neck. Even Ryouta crawled onto his lap and hugged his torso. "Like this will be less scary, right? I used to see some guys do this in the cinema."
Aomine couldn't hear the screaming people on the screen over the sound his palpitating heartbeat. Why'd Kise have to be such a tease? His blond hair was tickling his neck and he was so close he could smell him.
"You smell delicious."
"Yeah I was cooking a while ago."
Words never got very far with Kise so he decided he would do something this time. He pulled Kise so that his face was a few centimetres away from his and leaned in. Kise instinctively closed his eyes.
"I have to pee." Ryouta announced suddenly.
Kise stood up quickly roughly pulling the child to the toilet partially embarrassed at what was about to happen a while ago and partially bewildered that his first reaction had not been to push Aomine away.
Aomine groaned and turned off the TV before he had to see anymore mutilated bodies flying around the screen. He rubbed his temples. So close.
He sent Kuroko a quick text filled with very colourful language. He also decided he would ask Akashi for the address of the kindergarten Akashi had in mind. Then he decided he would eat dinner and go straight to bed. There was still school the next day and he was really tired.
"Akashi kun the plan was a huge success."
"Excellent job, Tetsuya. Excellent job, indeed."
A/N: This chapter contains so much of my headcanons its like orz. There's more still and I don't feel like listing all of those down. And I also have this other relatively darker plot stuck in my head and its so hard to write something lighthearted when I'm thinking of vampires and whatnot. I think I'll write that when I'm done with this. Mistakes, comments, constructive criticisms: the usual. Wow pretty long A/N.