Sometimes, Nyota Uhura thought, being the manager of the Enterprise Crew, the world's biggest boyband, was wonderfully rewarding. Sometimes, it was really stressful. Sometimes, it was just plain weird.

This was one of the weird times.

'What in the world are you reading?'

Uhura stared at Jim Kirk, who shrugged.

'A magazine?'

She looked pointedly at the magazine's pink cover.

'I didn't think that was really your area of interest.'

Kirk pouted.

'For all you know, I could have an inner teenage girl who's just dying to get out, Uhura!'

'That is an illogical statement, Jim. The probability of there being a teenage female residing inside your body is infinitely small. Nyota, I believe that the true reason for Jim perusing this magazine lies in the headline.'

'Come on, Spock, I was joking!'

Uhura seized the magazine from Kirk's hands.

'Hey! I was-'

'Which Enterprise Crew Member Are You? Seriously, Kirk? Fan quizzes?'

Spock cocked his head to the left.

'Nyota, it is logical to remain informed as to what the fans' views and opinions are. We are, after all, entertainers who are entirely dependent on them.'

'Trust me, Spock, this is definitely not the sort of market research you're thinking about.'

Kirk grinned.

'I don't know, Uhura. I reckon they're pretty spot on. They say I'm the charming one!'

'In your dreams.'

He shook his head and burst into song.

'So c-come on. You got it wrong. To prove I'm right, I put it in a song-'

'Really, Kirk?'

He shrugged.

'What? It's one of our greatest hits!'

Spock clasped his hands behind his back.

'While that is true, you are using the song's lyrics in a contextually inappropriate manner.'

Kirk slapped him on the back.

'Oh, come on, Spock! That's why it's funny! God, I don't know why they made you the mysterious one. They should have made you the serious one. Or the unfunny one. Or the I've got a stick up my-'

'They are not as well acquainted with me as you are, Jim. Thankfully.'

Uhura sighed.

'Yeah, the fangirls are pretty rabid, aren't they?'

'You just don't like them because they keep hitting on Spock.'

Uhura glared at him.

Jim was saved from death by the entrance of Scotty, Sulu and Chekov.

'Oh, yer showing Miss Uhura the fan magazine. I like that magazine! They think I'm the funny one!'

Sulu smirked.

'Unlike everyone else, Scotty.'

'Oi! And they think yer the sensible one!'

Sulu looked affronted.

'Of course. I am sensible.'

Chekov snorted.

'As eef! Zey hawen't seen you talking to your plants! Or nearly getting arrested at Customs for bringing zose seeds-'

'That was just once!'

Chekov shook his head.

'You are an idiot, Hikaru. Zhat ees ze truth. But do not vorry, I vill newer tell your fangirls!'

Hikaru rolled his eyes.

'Thank you, Pavel. I am eternally in your debt...Wait a moment, what do these fangirls think of Pavel here?'

Kirk smirked.

'He's the cute one.'

Chekov pouted.

'I am not ze cute one! I am sewenteen years old! I am not a child!'

'The law clearly states that you are, Pavel . In addition, while you may find such a descriptor unsatisfactory, it is irrefutably true.'

Everyone stared at Spock.

'It is a valid and empirically proven conclusion that Pavel is, to use their terms, 'cute'.'

Chekov glared (adorably) at Spock. Laughter reverberated around the room.

Leonard McCoy, the sixth member of the band, walked in, took one look at his manager and his bandmates, and walked right out again.

'Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have let Jim buy that stupid teen rag! You know what, I don't want to know! '

Kirk stared at McCoy's back.

'For the life of me, I just can't figure out why they think he's the one with the soft centre.'