THE CORNERS OF THIS ROOM
By: wyback
© 2014

Rating: T for now, may be higher later
Disclaimer: Still don't own them anything Otome or HiME-related, just the story below.
Distribution: So long as the credits are intact, feel free to save a personal copy or to link to the fic. If you plan to post whole chapters somewhere, just ask. :)
Author'sNotes: Thanks to xxmadlaxx, who took a little time from her incredibly busy schedule to beta this fic!

4. The Past: Approaching Ascension

The succeeding days passed quickly, not just for Natsuki and me, but for all of us.

During this time - and I'm sure she'd be none too pleased with this description - Natsuki emerged from winter like one of the flowers in Garderobe's gardens coming into bloom. The aftermath of her field trip seemed to lift a burden from her and she became more at ease with herself. She no longer worried about ranking, though she eased comfortably back into the Coral number two spot. She concentrated instead on improving the holes we saw in her dance, and took a deeper interest in the aspects of her studies that genuinely interested her, like history, tactics, and the sciences. True to her word, she participated in more activities with Mai and with me. Not that she became a social butterfly, because there was a part of her that was naturally more reserved, but enough so that her fellow Corals, some of the Pearls like Haruka, and a few teachers got to know her better.

"Let's take a picture!" the ever-cheerful Mai said at one impromptu gathering that several Corals and the Trias Pearls held after exams. Mai made sure that everyone in the group got a copy, and I believe most of us have kept it to this day. But no one holds it dearer than Natsuki, who brings a copy of that picture wherever she goes.

Anyone who saw it would think it nothing special, just a bunch of girls smiling or posing awkwardly like Natsuki, but it was that very ordinariness that made it remarkable. But for our distinctive Garderobe uniforms, we could've been a group of students at any school. We weren't though, and what that picture captured was a rare, snatched moment of normalcy. All of the girls in that picture became Otomes.

As the Garderobe year wound down and the final demands on the Pearls to prove themselves ratcheted up, Natsuki and I found ways to spend time together. Mostly this consisted of meals Natsuki brought to my room, which eventually became her lunch or dinner as well as mine. Then there was the weekend when she showed up on my doorstep with a picnic basket.

By this time, Natsuki had a good idea of the work I actually did as first Pearl. She once observed that I had a gift for making it seem near effortless since, outside of battle, I cultivated an air of serene composure. But the truth is no one at any school or elsewhere with fair standards magically receives accolades. This is especially true at Garderobe, where the criteria are so rigorous that only a quarter to a third of the Corals make it to Meister. To maintain my ranking and duties as a Trias took a great deal of study, unrelenting practice, and attention not just to my personal affairs but to those of the student body as well. The trick was to prioritize. Unlike Haruka, I didn't jump at every problem but saved my efforts for those that mattered or needed immediate attention. That said, one thing Natsuki and I did have in common was that once we decided on a course of action, we tended not do things halfway. Natsuki was just more obvious about it.

So time was the last resource I had to spare in these last, hectic months, and when I saw what Natsuki had in mind, I was unenthusiastic. Of course I tried to refuse as diplomatically as possible. "A picnic? Natsuki is very thoughtful but with all of these assignments and other matters..."

She didn't even let me finish. "It's lunch. Aren't you going to eat anyway? What's the difference between taking it in here or outdoors?"

The difference, as she very well knew, was that in my room I could consume my lunch in minutes and proceed with the work at hand. Outside, on this fine clear day with Natsuki? The temptation to linger would be too great. The rational choice, considering the pile of work on my desk, was to refuse.

Some minute tell must've given me away, because Natsuki looked up from the basket in her hands with a resolute expression. "I'm calling it in," she declared.

"Calling what?" I asked in utter confusion.

"Didn't you say that you'd spend these months with me?" She sounded testy but there was a pink tinge on her cheeks. Then, more softly, "You're too stressed, Shizuru. Besides, most everyone is going into the city today to watch the royal procession. The gardens will be free, but if you're really too busy..."

She meant that this might be one of the few times that we could spend together on the grounds and be reasonably assured of privacy. I was a Trias and had my admirers, and whether Natsuki admitted it or not, she was starting to gather hers. For both of us to be left alone for any length of time in public was becoming an increasingly rare occurrence.

Some inner chibi version of me was already jumping up and down at the possibility. "Too busy for my Natsuki? That will be the day," I conceded with a smile. "Lead the way."

Contrary to popular belief, my heya-gakkari preferred to plan ahead whenever possible. So I wasn't surprised that she'd already staked out a secluded spot under an ancient oak tree with sturdy branches so far-reaching that they offered plenty of shade. Natsuki set the basket down on a waterproof picnic mat that could've easily accommodated four. The picnic lunch itself was simple but satisfying fare, tasty sandwiches cut into manageable triangles, succulently ripe apples and a surprise treat - bottles of an ice-cold lemon-orange drink that relatives had sent to her. Natsuki didn't bother with glasses, just twisted the caps off the bottles and handed one to me.

But that wasn't the real surprise, as I discovered when my tongue teased out the light but distinct flavor of alcohol along with the sweetly tangy juice. I quirked a brow at her.

"I may have spiked it a little," Natsuki confirmed with a grin of total mischief. She bit into her apple with a satisfying crunch, then took a long sip of her own.

This girl...! "Delinquent," I called fondly. It was my favorite way of teasing her about her meteoric rise in ranking.

"My irredeemable oneesama likes me that way," she tossed back. After the field trip, it was the one tease she didn't have trouble returning.

You have no idea. "Ara, are you trying to sabotage your oneesama's studies? That would make Haruka very happy." It was no secret that Haruka harbored hopes for a last-minute upset that would see her finish as first Pearl.

"I'm trying to make sure you don't suffer a nervous breakdown," Natsuki huffed as she clinked her bottle to mine. "Honestly, what would it hurt if you took the afternoon off for once? It's the weekend. Just lie on the grass and stare at the sky for awhile, like every student does sometimes." She patted the mat and demonstrated what she meant by collapsing back and dramatically flinging her arms out.

I watched the prone form for a second before impulsively copying her and lying down as well, though I kept my arms to my sides. How strange, I thought as the position altered my perspective completely. There was the crinkle of grass pushing up against my back and the minute adjustment of soil beneath the thin mat to accommodate my form. My pristine uniform would be creased beyond belief when I got up but I didn't care. The bright cerulean sky, furled white clouds, and leaf-strewn branches of the ancient oak filled the entirety of my vision. When I shut my eyes, my senses honed in on the cool breeze that shook the leaves overheard, the twittering of birds above and the buzzing of a bee further off - all the little things that usually faded into the background of everyday life at Garderobe. My awareness expanded to include the girl beside me, the cadence of her breaths, the tiny movements she made. I had been taught to meditate, to center myself, but it was in this moment that I found true serenity.

"See?" The irascible, adorable girl who often turned my world upside down sounded pleased with herself. "You should do this more often."

I chuckled at the improbability of it. "I haven't done this since I was eight years old." That had been the one unforeseen advantage of breaking my arm back then. That recuperation took time was a fact that my family couldn't change, and that meant that I was able to enjoy my childhood for awhile.

I heard shifting and when I opened my eyes, Natsuki's somber face was blocking part of the sky and filling half my world. "Sometimes you break my heart, Shizuru."

There was compassion but also something incredibly fierce in her gaze, narrowed as it was into icy flints of furious emerald. It took me a moment to decipher that this was anger on my behalf. When I'd first told the story of my upbringing to Natsuki, her primary reaction had been shock. Today her eyes burned, and I had no doubt that if my parents were anywhere in the vicinity, she would've gladly strangled them both. The display brought a tightness to my chest. How long has it been since anyone displayed such protectiveness towards me?

I was a capable, self-sufficient person who was more than proficient in a fight, and so most looked to me for protection and not the other way around. And that was perfectly fine, I liked being who I was and being able to take charge. But for someone to make it absolutely clear that my welfare was important to them, that given a chance - Natsuki will fight for me. She was strong and tenacious, my match in every way, and she had my back. My throat was tight as I lifted my hand to the near-porcelain cheek that hovered so closely over me. I loved the way it turned ruddy under my touch. "I don't mean to," I whispered.

"Yeah, but..." Self-consciously, Natsuki let the words trail off. She drew back into a seated position with her legs stretched out in front of her, and took another hasty sip of the spiked juice. She stared at the bottle in her hand. "What do you think will happen, a couple of months from now?"

I wondered at the change of topic but acquiesced. "If all goes as expected, I suppose I'll be a Meister soon."

"C'mon, there's no doubt about that. Your accomplishments go well beyond these walls." The wave of my attendant's hand encompassed the world beyond Garderobe. People were fascinated with Otomes, and that included the institution that trained them. Magazines paid heavily for features on its mysterious students, and our graduation dances were often broadcast to the public. My first such dance took place last year when Haruka and I represented the Corals against the graduating Pearls. While we didn't win - no Coral has ever won against a Pearl at those battles - my performance piqued public interest. Since then, there were those who kept track of my deeds at Garderobe. A couple of outsiders had even managed to sneak past the gates for a glimpse of me. The most memorable, because she had been able to slip into the grounds of the school itself and so had caused the most consternation, had been a girl of eight or nine who cutely professed to be a fan of mine.

"There'll be many vying for your hand, kings, queens, heads of state," Natsuki predicted. "Have you thought about who you might accept?"

"Hmm?" I rolled over so that I was lying on my stomach, with my head turned towards her and my folded arms serving as a pillow. "To think about such things when no offer has been made would be the height of presumption, wouldn't you agree?"

"I guess." Natsuki picked at the label on her bottle, scratching away at the colorful design with a thumbnail. "Only...when I think about that happening, walking down the aisle in front of you, and delivering you into the hands of some stranger who gets to dictate the rest of your life..." She avoided my attentive gaze. "I just can't see myself doing that. Not happily, anyway."

She was referring to the ceremony in which a fully trained Meister Otome accepts a master. Natsuki had once traced the elements of the ceremony back for a history paper. In the end, she concluded that the ceremony for Meisters cleverly combined parts of a traditional wedding - with the heya-gakkari serving as the bridesmaid, and the Otome placing the ring partnered to her gem on the master's hand - with the bygone rituals of knights and samurais who presented their swords and swore fealty on bended knee or seiza to their lord. Only our gems - the tiny components that enabled us to control our nanomachines and project our robes - substituted for the swords of those olden days.

"Natsuki." The back of my hand found the forearm closest to me and trailed along the corded muscle there. The gesture softened the mild reproach that followed. "You make it sound like a form of enslavement. It's true that we're trained partly to resemble the flowers in these gardens, but keep in mind that our modest dress, fine manners and pleasantries, even the cooking classes that you hate so much, all serve as a useful camouflage for power. In reality, very few things in this world can stand up to a fully trained Otome. We may answer to a master, but he or she will be tied to us as much as we will be tied to them."

I considered my next words with care. "It doesn't make up for what happened to your cousin in any way, but keep in mind that her master paid for his foolishness with his life. Don't forget what your cousin worked so hard for, what our true purpose is. To serve one's country, to protect one's people, to maintain peace as Otomes have for years - surely even you can't doubt the need. Didn't the royal family almost perish a few years ago without the protection of their Otome?"

Natsuki's sigh sounded like it came from the depths of her being. "I know, and I agree with all of that in theory. But when I think of it actually happening to you -"

"But it won't be just to me," I pointed out in all seriousness. "What will happen in another year, when it's Natsuki's turn, not just to attend to me, but to ascend to Meister herself?"

"That seems so far away."

"Ara, the time will pass sooner than you think," I declared from experience. "Next year, you may be sitting under this tree again, only it will be with your heya-gakkari and she'll be asking these questions from you."

"I can't see that happening either. I mean..." Natsuki ducked her head so that her expressive eyes were hidden. "Do you think this is the same for everyone? That next year I'll form the bond we have with someone else? Because I don't." She said it almost defiantly.

I will never have this with anyone else. I hoped I was wrong, but there was conviction behind that feeling. That we had found this at all was surely due to some twist of fate. Nothing else could explain the confluence of factors that brought us together. If Natsuki and I hadn't been who we were when we met, if we had been a few more years apart, if her personality and mine weren't so forceful in such disparate but complementary ways, and if we had been less willing to accommodate the differences between us, we could've easily passed each other by like two ships on the same narrow strip of sea.

But as much as I agreed with her, it wouldn't be right to say so. What was true for me might not be true for Natsuki. She deserved a fair chance at forming a future bond with her heya-gakkari. Besides, the combination of the constant stress of the past days, the meal and the alcohol were making me drowsy. Still, I couldn't let such a golden opportunity slip by completely. "I wonder. Could it be that Natsuki's concerns aren't so much about the system of Meisters, but really about me? Perhaps Natsuki doesn't want to think about giving me away at the ceremony simply because she wishes to keep me for herself?"

A bright red flush instantly traveled from her neck to her cheeks. "Shizuru!"

A last, vague thought surfaced as my eyes fluttered closed, 'Ah but she didn't exactly deny it.' As I sank into my nap, I thought I felt fingers brush through my hair and pull them gently away from my face. But that might've just been a dream.

*Two months later*

Another day, another stroll through the gardens. Only this time I was alone, it was late in the evening, and there was less than a fortnight left before the Pearls' ascension. By now, it was clear which of the students were going to receive their Meister gem. All three of the Trias were on the list.

"...strange pair, don't you think?"

The disembodied voice and the sound of footsteps gave me just enough warning to step off of the path and into the shadows of the tall hedges.

"One is so forthright, the other so composed..."

"Perhaps a little too much in both cases... What do you think?"

A third voice, one I knew well, declared, "The Coral has promise, I give you that, but she still lacks grace in her dance..."

The last, I knew right away, was Miss Maria. The familiar complaint was all it took to confirm that the topic of discussion was Natsuki and most likely myself. Being the epitome of Otome tradition, Miss Maria preferred swords and elements suited to close combat since they best displayed the speed and deadly beauty in movement that Otomes were trained for. Natsuki's element, being so close to artillery and best exercised at range, was far too modern and direct for her taste. When the women speaking passed, I was astonished to glimpse, not just Miss Maria, but the Gakuencho and the Deputy Headmistress as well. Of course they were familiar with their top students, but why focus on the two of us specifically?

I might have paid more attention to this intriguing conversation if a more pressing issue wasn't already occupying my mind. The reason I was roaming around the grounds at such an unusual hour in the first place was because I couldn't make up my mind about a certain course of action.

I want to tell Natsuki how I feel. Every rational instinct in my head balked at this and judged it to be an extremely bad idea. Sure, Natsuki cared for me a great deal, but she had also turned me down each time I'd tried to express anything remotely non-platonic.

At least if you tell her, you'll find out where you stand. No one can stay in limbo forever.

But what if she hates you for it? Remember the first time you tried to kiss her? Why burden her with something she might not want?

One form or another of those arguments had been cycling through my head for weeks now. It didn't help that my graduation from Garderobe was in sight. Perhaps part of why I wanted to do this in the first place was the very real possibility that this might be my last chance to speak with Natsuki seriously. This constant battle, between what my heart wanted and what my brain kept shooting down, made me lose more sleep in the past week than all the exams and tests before it.

When I eventually returned to my room, the last thing I expected was to find the cause of my distress asleep at my desk. Natsuki had obviously been reading the book that still lay open on the table. The tired Coral had fallen asleep with her chin cradled in her hand.

I shut the door as quietly as I could, thankful that Haruka had been assigned to assist with visiting dignitaries at the royal palace tonight. To see Natsuki in repose was a rare and wonderful sight, the opportunity to savor it even more so. The doubts and constant struggle melted away, leaving only a young girl who was beautifully at peace with herself.

"Natsuki?" I called as I came up behind her, but there was no reaction. I leaned down to wake her, only to be enveloped by the honeyed scent of soap and shampoo. She must've just come from the baths. I breathed the enticing scent deep. Oh Fumi. Almost of its own accord, my hand tangled with the soft, midnight-dark tresses before me. They spilled like the finest of silk from my fingers.

If we were lovers, I would wind your beautiful hair around my fingers, and tug them back until I could take your tilted mouth, or rain kisses down your exposed throat...

Mouth suddenly dry, I released her hair as if I'd been burned and stepped away. I tried to control my breathing and expression as Natsuki stirred. Green eyes blinked slowly and showed first surprise, then chagrin at my presence. "Ugh, sorry, I didn't mean to wink out like that."

Casting about for time to regain my equilibrium, I retreated to a tease. "That's quite alright. Natsuki is cute when she sleeps, even when there's a little drool on her chin." Her hand flew to her mouth in embarrassment, only to fall away when I added, "Just kidding."

She frowned at me in irritation. "Honestly, why do I even bother?"

I gave her one of my best pouts. "Is that any way to talk to your oneesama so close to graduation? Natsuki is so mean."

At other times it might've worked but today Natsuki only rolled her eyes. "To think that I went through all this trouble to give you this." She indicated a large, wrapped package that was leaning next to my bed.

"Ara, what's this? Natsuki got me a present?" I asked in surprise. I sat down on the bed and placed the package across my lap. "What can this be? It's so long and the girth is...impressive."

My poor, put upon heya-gakkari groaned at my wide, devilish smirk. "Just open it already," she growled.

"But really, this seems extravagant," I said a touch seriously.

"You are graduating," she pointed out gruffly, "and I wasn't able to give you anything on your birthday so..." That had been the time when we'd been apart. "I know it's early for a graduation gift, but it came today and it's too big to hide successfully. Besides, I thought you might want to try it out sooner rather than later."

"Natsuki didn't have to," I smiled at her in genuine delight, "but thank you." Intrigued, I made quick work of the wrapping and the box inside. There was a hard case with snaps that turned out to be a top cover of some kind. When I finally unlatched it, black and white keys, a little smaller and stretching fewer octaves than the usual, gleamed up at me. My mouth fell open. "You got me a keyboard!"

"Not just a keyboard, this is a full-fledged synthesizer. It's all the rage in Aries right now." Natsuki got up and leaned over me to point at several colored buttons on the panels above the keys. "It doesn't sound as good as a real piano, but these switches can transform the sound into any of the major instruments, piano, guitar, flute, horn and so on. You can combine them if you want, adjust the pitch, or record different tracks and combine those. That's what the store said anyway. I haven't tried it except to make sure that it works." Then she asked with a touch of shyness, "Do you like it?"

"Yes!" My fingers were already running excitedly over the keys. Music, wherever and whenever I want! I was as gleeful as a child. "I'm curious though. What made Natsuki think of giving me this?"

"You said you missed playing." This time her glance was anxious. "Did I get it right?"

I clutched the instrument on my lap, incredibly touched. She remembered? But it had been nothing, just a throwaway conversation when we were walking to separate classes.

"You can do so many things," Natsuki said. The Corals had just been treated to a demonstration on the ancient art of tea ceremony where I had assisted the teacher. "But out of all of them is there something you really enjoy?"

"Music," I answered right away. "I miss my piano at home. I played it as often as I could." Piano was one of the few lessons that I'd chosen for myself. The other was a more practical though still esoteric course in the ancient fighting style of naginata jujitsu. I believe it gave my technique in handling my element a slight unpredictability that was still useful today.

With a lump in my throat, I placed the keyboard on the bed and stood to hug this incredibly thoughtful girl. "Thank you," I said again. "I love my gift."

This brought on a blush, but then her expression changed into something more resolute as I let her go. "Shizuru, I - I have something else for you." She was an inch shorter than me, and I caught my breath when she stretched up to plant a kiss on my cheek.

"Natsuki?" I asked, stunned. My hand rose to touch my cheek, as if to verify that what had just happened wasn't a figment of my imagination. The deep green of her eyes swirled with emotions I couldn't interpret.

"You're graduating in a few days, and I know I should be happy for you. I am happy for you. But it'll be strange to walk along these halls and know that you won't be in any of them. I - I'll miss you," she confessed in a shaky voice.

"Natsuki." Overcome, I took her into my arms again. This time I embraced her tightly, allowing some of my feelings to come to the surface. "We will see each other again. Besides," I added, trying to make light of it, "isn't Natsuki relieved? No one will ambush her with coy words and embarrassing hugs anymore."

"I'd gladly give you all of those if it would mean you could stay," she returned heatedly, and I saw that my ploy hadn't worked. There were tears shining brightly in those beautiful eyes. Her hands came up and crumpled the sleeves of my uniform in her grasp. "I...Shizuru..."

My heart thudded as her lips pressed against mine in a sudden kiss. It was the most artless of kisses, just the swift pressure of her lips on mine, but it broke through the dam that held back my feelings like it was kindling. I recovered from my surprise just as those lips shifted to leave. Instinctively, my embrace changed to draw her close. My palms opened to trace the sleek curve of her back as I whispered her name into the mingled air of our breaths. Then our mouths were fused together again, and I was kissing Natsuki back.

For one endless moment, I was in the throes of a fevered dream. My love for Natsuki and fledgling hopes that she might return those feelings poured into the trembling pattern my mouth gently set against her warm, soft lips. You are everything I have ever hoped for. I swallowed a half-moan when the lips I'd almost given up on ever touching hesitantly but willingly began to follow.

I could barely move, barely breathe when we finally drew apart. "W-was that...?" Oh Natsuki, what have you done?

"My first kiss," Natsuki admitted shyly, a blush high on her cheeks. "Shizuru, I know you want... I just don't know if I... but maybe..." She stumbled over her words, and with an uncertainty that wrenched my heart from the elation of that kiss and smashed it to pieces, she fumbled with the fastening of her collar.

I stopped her because while I saw love in her, there was no desire. I knew how Natsuki moved, the way she could throw herself into a course of action with total conviction. I had seen it many times when we sparred, and even just now in her kiss. This clumsy, fumbling hesitation was not it. That was when I began to suspect that she had, if not outright planned this, then at least intended for everything before this point to happen. The picnic, the meals together, the gift, and maybe the kiss - this was Natsuki's way of saying goodbye.

I cradled her precious face in my hands. The other Corals call her ice cold, but she was the sweetest person who had ever come into my life. If I knew her less, or if she had made this offer just a few, short months ago, I would've pounced on this chance to make her mine. But because she was so kind, and I loved her, I knew that this gift was not mine to take. "That is something Natsuki must save for when she is sure." And now I know that I must truly love you, because it won't be with me, will it? "Thank you for your kiss. I will always cherish it."

"But -"

I cut across the stubborn but half-hearted protest. "What is it that Natsuki thinks I want?"

"Um, I guess...what married couples do?" she muttered.

I would've laughed at her diffident phrase if my heart wasn't breaking - for with her actions, Natsuki had made her feelings known as clearly as if she'd said them aloud. "Maybe that was true once," I freely admitted. "But you see, your irredeemable oneesama made a serious mistake. Despite all your remonstrations, I'm afraid that she -" to my horror, my voice quavered "- she has fallen for you." I could no longer meet her eyes, fearing that it would be that gaze which would break the little control I had left. "Perhaps she isn't so irredeemable after all."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Sh-Shizuru?"

You had no idea, did you? I shook my head to stall her. I needed to continue while I still had the strength. "So what I want is simply this: I wish you every happiness, Natsuki."

At my words, the tears in those verdant eyes did what mine could not; they spilled over. "I want that for you, too. I wish...but I...there are so many things I'm still trying to figure out."

"It's alright," I assured her with utmost gentleness. "It's not your fault. It's a feeling, so it's either there or..." It's not. All this time you were just trying to say goodbye to your oneesama. I stepped away and turned my back to her because no matter how much I smiled, she knew me well enough now to realize that she was causing me pain. "I just wanted Natsuki to know that I love her. But that doesn't mean -"

Again she surprised me. The last thing I expected were the arms that caught me from behind and wrapped tightly around my waist. Natsuki tugged me back until I was enveloped in her embrace for once, instead of the other way around. "Me too. I love you too, Shizuru," she said fiercely. "I will always be your friend. I will always stand by your side."

I placed my hands on top of the ones holding me captive. I had hugged her like this dozens of times. It felt strange but so good this way, that she was holding me for a change. I bit my lip to keep myself from tearing up. "I know." It's just different, right, Natsuki? It didn't hurt any less because she meant it. I had no doubts that she would go to the ends of the world for my sake. But she didn't want what I did.

We stayed like that for awhile, not talking, until we were both steady enough to let go.

"Is it true that Haruka isn't coming back tonight?" Natsuki asked as we faced each other. At my confirming nod, she continued, "In that case...is it okay if I stay here with you?"

"That's not wise," I dissuaded her. 'It will be torture!' my head protested. But my heart didn't care. It would gladly spend eternity in bittersweet hell, holding the girl I loved but couldn't have. "If anyone finds out -"

"I don't care what anyone else thinks. We both know the truth." Stubbornly, she outlined her plan, "I'll sneak back before dawn. Mai understands and she'll cover for me. But even if someone catches me, surely being number two Coral counts for something. Otherwise, what use is it?"

And that was how we spent our second night together. Some time before dawn, I succumbed to the exhaustion of the last few days and fell asleep holding her. When I awoke, it was still dark, but she was gone and only her scent and the warmth of the sheets proved that I hadn't dreamt the entire thing.

So Natsuki liked the fact that I loved her, was even happy that I did. But she didn't feel the same way. The breaths I took burned deep in my chest. Look on the bright side, Shizuru, at least you're no longer in limbo. Isn't that what you wanted? I buried my head in my pillow as my tears flowed freely at last. All I want is Natsuki. I don't care for anything else! Thankfully, it didn't take much longer for the sleep I'd held at bay for so long to reclaim me.

In the days that followed, for the sake of my own sanity, whenever Natsuki and I met I kept my teasing to words. Even up to the last day of my life as a Pearl, I did not try to catch her in my arms again.

Author's Notes #2: Don't shoot! *ducks just in case* See why this wasn't a good update to post before the holidays? Not that it was ready back then, but let's just agree that it would've been a bad idea. :) But a little seriously, this was a difficult chapter to write, and makes up one of the "drama" parts of this fic.
I'm still trying to get over the fact that Corners got a hundred reviews. O.O Woohoo, thank you! Special thanks to those who took the time to comment on each chapter, to the ones who left long, detailed reviews that I've read a few *cough* many *cough* times over, and to those who found themselves leaving feedback for the first time. My muse was jumping for joy. For those who logged in, I do reply though it may take some time.
I've gotten several reviews expressing relief that Corners isn't AU or futa. It isn't, but I can't claim that Corners is 100% canon either. As I explained in the first chapter, how Natsuki and Shizuru met in this fic deviates from what's in the Otome drama CD. That happened mostly because I didn't know about the drama CD until after I'd written most of the first chapter. That brings me to the second reason, which is that there's so much additional material out there that I'm not aware of or don't understand since I don't know Japanese. Corners will definitely stay close to the Mai Otome anime though.
And lastly, to Hyeera: That was one of the Otome scenes that inspired this fic. I wondered what was behind Shizuru's enigmatic reaction to Arika's question, and ending up writing it.