Once home, Scarlett asked that their purchases be packed along with the rest of their necessities. The children were told to run upstairs to tidy up for dinner, and Scarlett retired to the library to check over her figures. Once seated in her chair before her great desk, she felt an immediate calm sweep over her. Going over her accounts always settled her and cleared her mind, because she was only able to concentrate on one thing and not anything else. Business was steady although it seemed to be slowing at present. But the important thing was that Ashley would be alright. Good, she thought. At least I will be able to go out of town without having to worry about him. Oh, I can't wait to get out of here. I am tired of those accusing glances that are thrown my way by those old busy-bodies.

By chance, Scarlett's gaze wandered to the fire where her eyes landed on the chair that Rhett had sat on, only last evening. Without realizing what she was doing, she walked over to it and sat down. His scent still lingered on the chair and she stroked the fabric lovingly. "Oh, Rhett," she said aloud, "Please come home. I want to be a good wife, and I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I want to make amends with you. I need you so much."

It was then that Pansy entered the study, clearing her throat to announce her arrival. "Miss Scarlet, dinner is ready."

Mrs. Butler immediately jumped from the chair and hastily wiped away the tears that had managed to spill. Placing her hands before her, straightening her spine, and lifting her chin, she responded coolly, "Thank you Pansy. I shall be there momentarily."

Pansy nodded and scurried out of the room so her mistress could be alone. Scarlett swiftly walked over to the large desk, shut her books, and placed her pen next to them neatly. With a deep sigh, she sauntered to the door, and left the study. As she walked through the hall to the Dinning Room, she glanced at the great staircase. Her thoughts flashed back to an evening, no so long ago. He had taken me into his strong arms, and roughly swung me. I almost cried out but his fierce eyes, alight with burning passion and fire, silenced me. His fingers were bruising me as he carried me up the stair case to his room, and he did not even wait until we were inside to overpower me with his hot kiss. "Momma?" came a soft voice next to her. "It's time to eat."

When Scarlett looked down on her son, Wade, what the young boy saw in her eyes frightened him: tears. She had been crying a lot recently. He knew because late at night he would sneak to his mother's door and press his ear against it. Within he would hear the muffled noise of her crying, and his throat would constrict with grief and fear for his mother. In this moment, when her eyes looked so imploringly down upon him, not even knowing what she was asking, Wade timidly reached out his hand, took hold of his mother's arm, and led her gently into the dining room.

All through dinner Ella and Wade talked about their trip to Virginia. "What are we going to do there, Mother?" asked Wade.

"Well, I suppose we could go to the beach. Would you like that? You've never been to the ocean before."

"Oh, yes I would like that very much!"

"Me too," chimed Ella while munching hungrily on her chicken.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth, dear."

"Yes, Mother," she replied after swallowing her chicken.

"We could do some sight-seeing and shopping. I think we also have some friends that live in Richmond. We could pay them a visit. I am checking us into the Grand Plaza, which is not too far from the beach. It's a very nice hotel, and I plan on spending quite some time relaxing."

"Will Uncle Rhett be there, Mother?" asked Wade.

There was a slight pause as Scarlett put down her fork and wiped her mouth casually, trying to hide her lips that had begun to tremble. Her eyes glistened, and her perceptive son felt his mother's grief. "No, darling, Rhett will not be there. He is attending to some business up North, but he shall be home soon." It was a lie. She didn't know when he would be home, but she wished with all her heart that it would be soon.

The servants came and cleared away the dishes, and Ella slipped down from her chair and took Pansy's hand. The servant took Ella up stairs for her bath, but Wade remained in the dinning room with his mother. Scarlett didn't even notice. Her eyes had glazed over, and she stared into nothingness. She sat unmoving, appearing as a statue and Wade was disturbed. Never had he seen her in this state. Not even when they were back at Tara after the Yankees had marched through and all were seeking her guidance; not even her father's, mother's or Melanie's death had affected her so. Anger began to boil inside of him for he had reached a realization. Rhett was responsible for her sate. It was because of him she was emotionally separated from the rest of the world. Because of him she had shut everyone out of her life, going inside of herself like a hermit retreating from civilization.

Quietly he walked over to her, and she did not even detect his movement, not even when he was standing right next to her. Gently, he reached up his arms and put them around her neck. At his touch she was jerked to reality, and her misty eyes stared into the soft ones of her son. Hesitantly he pressed his cheek to hers, for he wasn't sure how she would respond, and he stroked her hair with his small hand. "It's alright, mother. Everything will be alright."

His tender words melted her composure, and she threw her arms around him, hugging him close to her body, and burying her head in his neck, she wept bitterly. "Oh, darling, what would I do without you? You are my brave soldier and I am very proud of you. I know I haven't paid you much attention, but I promise to make it up to you."

"It's alright, Momma. Don't feel bad."

Scarlett took a moment to truly look at her son. What she saw was no longer a small timid boy, used to cowering in corners because of her mother's bad moods in the hard days at Tara. She saw before her a boy well on his into becoming a grown man. He had changed so much during such a short period of time. Why hadn't she noticed it? The harsh pains of regret stung her heart. "Oh, Wade, you are so much like your father." And then very softly she whispered, "Charles," and this brought on new tears. I could have been so much nicer to him, she thought remorsefully. I shouldn't have married him. It was wrong of me, and I didn't even give him the love he deserved. He adored me, and I married him to spite Ashley. The painful sin swelled in her bosom until she was sure it would burst, and her chest began to heave. But her thoughts calmed her. The past is behind you, Scarlett. There is nothing you can do to change what happened so you might as well not dwell on it. It will only bring you heartache and misery. You have changed and are no longer the girl you used to be. Put it behind you.

"I know, Momma. I know about you and Uncle Rhett. I know it is none of my business, as I am but a child, but now that he has gone, I am the man of the house. I promise to be your brave soldier and help you from now on."

What have I done to deserve a child such as this? Surely I am unworthy. Smiling she placed her hands on either side of her son's head and held it lovingly. "Thank you, darling. You don't know how much that means to me. I am very grateful." With that she kissed him on the forehead, and sent him up the stairs for his bath.

As Scarlett was preparing for bed, memories of Rhett and earlier times came flooding back to her. The days of their honey-moon and the days immediately following their honey-moon were good days. They had laughed together and shared their deepest thoughts to one another. They had possessed a bond that was almost supernatural. But then came the days when their friendship seemed to deteriorate. And what had made their once beautiful relationship fall apart, Scarlett's lust for Ashley and her immature behavior. She shut Rhett out of her life, pretending that he was Ashley in moments of tenderness. She drove him away, making him jealous of Ashley.

She remembered the day she had gone to the lumber mill to visit Ashley. It was the day he had told her that Melanie and him could have no more children, so therefore he would have to deny himself of her. When she had come home and Rhett had entered her room, she told Rhett that she didn't want to have anymore children because she felt badly for Melanie. The truth of the matter was, she was vain and loved her appearance more than anyone else. Rhett had seen right through her lie and had become angry. That was the beginning of the death of their relationship.

But there were those precious times, late at night, when he would whisper endearments into her ear, and hold her close in his strong embrace, caressing her tenderly. Those days when he spoiled her, denying her nothing, granting her heart's desire, hoping to win her affection. She had loved him in those days, though she did not know it at the time. He had given her unconditional love, overwhelming passion that carried them away into an alternate reality. When he first made love to her, he took her to a place she never knew existed. Scarlett had found that there was more to marriage then breeding children. It was about pleasure and excitement beyond understanding. He made her burn with desires that were foreign to her. His touch made her lose control: she could not deny him; even her stubborn Irish will was not strong enough to resist him.

But happiness was mingled with sadness. There were always those haunting memories that reminded her of the pain they caused one another. Those hurtful words, spat at each other in moments of anger, or hurt, were always there to trouble her. There was that dreadful day when India had found Scarlett in Ashley's arms at the depot. That innocent embrace, in which Scarlett had discovered she no longer loved Ashley as a lover but as a good friend, had been a mistake, for it was the appearance of evil. India had spread the rumor and by evening the whole town new of it. Scarlett lay cowering in her bed, pleading not to go to Ashley's surprise party because she was afraid of the lies that India had spread. It was the one time in her life when she was actually afraid. She had faced the Yankees, hunger, and the untimely death of her many friends and family; but this was something that she feared more than any of the preceding. Rhett had once told her "With enough courage you could do without a reputation." But Scarlett did not have enough courage for it without Rhett behind her.

Rhett had stormed into her room, yanked her out of bed, and threw at her the most revealing dress in her closet, telling her that "she had to play her part." The venom of implication in his tone made her heart ache. He was implying that she was a harlot, and technically, in her lust for Ashley, she was. Rhett had made her attend the party, and then, at the doorstep, he abandoned her. Scarlett had born the evening because something more frightening than gossip had come to her attention: the realization that she had lost Rhett's respect and love. Why was I so careless and stupid? Why could I not see that I loved Rhett and not Ashley? What was blinding me?

Scarlett climbed into bed and snuggled under the covers. Pansy came in silently, noted her mistress's moodiness, and silently doused the light, making her exit discreet. Scarlett lay in the darkness, the covers over head. As she lay there, the answer came. I was blind because I was still a little girl. I did not know what I wanted, and therefore I pushed away all those that were around me. Because of my child-like manner, I lost Rhett. Well, that's going to change. I am going to get him back. I swear it. Even if it means my life!

The next morning Scarlett awoke rested and prepared for the day. She was eager to leave this wretched town behind her and the people in it. She hurriedly ate through her breakfast and took a quick bath before rushing downstairs to see if all was prepared.

Ella and Wade had been awakened at a decent hour and they were now groomed and ready for the journey. Ella's eyes were shining with excitement but Wade looked wary. He knew the motivation for Scarlett to leave was more than just restlessness. There was something else, buried deep within her. Rhett was driving her away, but the more he thought on it, the more he realized that they were driving each other away by their hatefulness. He would never forget those harsh and relentless words they had spoken to one another during the dark days following Bonnie's death. Never, in his whole life, had he heard such words exchanged between a man and a woman. Yes, his mother had been harsh during difficult circumstances, but she most certainly was not truly mean. Those words had been cajoled out of her by the ones spoken by her husband. He had hurt her and she wanted to hurt him back. It was as if they could not help what was coming out of their mouths. It just came and would not stop. But there was more to it than that. He knew it well, but he could not figure it out.

Scarlett was in the Study, trying desperately to write a simple note to Henry Hamilton, but her mind wandered. She urged herself to hurry but that only succeeded in making her mind wander further. Finally, several sheets of paper later, her note read:

Mr. Henry Hamilton,

I wish to inform you that I shall be taking an extended leave of absence. I wish my whereabouts to remain unknown. All I ask is that you continue to deposit Rhett's monthly payments into my account. I shall withdraw whenever I find the need. Thank you,

Scarlett

Finally satisfied, she sealed the letter in an envelope and gave it to one of her servants, telling him to see that it was delivered in a timely fashion. Suddenly, Ella burst into the Study. "Are we almost ready to leave, mother?"

Scarlett had to laugh at the eagerness in her daughter's eyes. Leaning down to her eye level she responded, "Are you anxious, precious? I am too, but we should be leaving in a little while. Are you quite ready?"

"Oh yes, Pansy packed up all our things last night."

"That's wonderful, darling. Now, could you be a good girl for mother, and sit patiently until its time to leave?"

"I shall try my hardest," the young girl said sincerely.

"Thank you, precious. Mother is almost ready, she just has to take care of some last minute things, alright?"

Ella nodded her head and scurried into the parlor to wait.