Title: Delirium
Chapter: 4. Returning
Pairings: (Yaoi/SLASH) Nick/Zak, Aaron/Zak, future Nick/Aaron/Zak
Summary: Nick decides to leave Vegas for his family, hurting Zak. What he doesn't know is that it had the other man running into Aaron's arms even though they weren't to drop their current relationship. But Zak needs to have someone near, and Aaron understands him just as well as Nick does. Future D/S relationships.
Genre: Angst, drama, romance
Rating: Mature (Adult)

They were just sleeping. The lock down was just a night away and they couldn't just waste their energy. Nick tucked himself closer to Zak's, nuzzling his face into newly washed skin. The arms around him were tight, as if afraid he'd disappear in the night. It had always been like that.

Nick felt it deep in his gut that the way he's been running his relationship with Zak was going to change. He had felt it the moment he started looking for a place to move his family. Who'd help Zak when he couldn't? Who could do it the way he does it? Nick didn't know, refused to think of who could so easily replace him. He was only gone for two weeks, at most, he may be gone a month, but Nick was always going to come back. Zak knew that. Nick made sure of it the night before he flew away with his wife and daughter.

Nick didn't know how long he could hold onto Zak. He'd never let him go, if he had the choice, but if Zak decided to leave him... Nick pulled the body closer, trying to ignore the feeling of dread crawling down his spine. He'd have to let him go. Zak meant something to him, understood him in a way that he needed most of all and did not judge him for it.

He laid a kiss to Zak's neck, right over a new mark that he knew he didn't put there. He shut his eyes so he didn't have to look. The color was so bright on his skin, a beacon for his disloyalty. He shook his head- but it really couldn't be called that. Zak was allowed to find love. Nick was just supposed to make sure that person wouldn't hurt him when he and Zak finally part. That was the duty he placed upon himself as Zak's best friend, brother, and lover.

Yet still, he couldn't just put a cap on his jealousy. Who the hell was he? Who had Zak let lay him down and take him? It had to have been another man, though it was difficult for Nick to wrap his mind around the idea. They had been each other's first and at the time it wasn't based on physical attraction. No, the connection they had was much deeper. He didn't see a person here that Zak could be attracted to-

Nick sighed and though his eyes were getting heavy, his anxiety was keeping him from sleeping. What was he kidding himself. There were millions of people who walk in front of them every time they set foot outside and Zak could have anyone he wants. He was a little shy, but hell, even Nick found it charming.

Zak whispered his name in sleep and looking down, he noticed the slight furrow in his brow. He kissed the tense expression. Nick wasn't ready to let go yet. Anyone else might hurt Zak and his luck with love will just put him within firing range again. Nick promised to take care of him. Zak's heart was his responsibility.

Zak was his.

Aaron exhaled loudly and wiped the cold sweat from his brow with his sleeve. He didn't know how many times that night he put a strain on his heart- in more ways than just getting a scare every once in a while. Zak had been inseparable with Nick, just like he had been since the younger man arrived, and seeing them together now put a little ache in his chest and a bitter taste in his mouth that he didn't understand.

The eldest man was never very good at concealing his emotions and this new dislike for Nick was probably felt within a twenty foot radius. Nick probably didn't even know why, but he couldn't meet his brown eyes. It made Aaron feel horrible because, well, Nick was like his younger brother- like he did for Zak, Aaron had quite a protective streak over him too, but he didn't like this quickly aging development between his younger partners. He needed someone to blame and Nick got the short end of that stick.

They sent him off twice that night and it was only reaching twelve. He didn't even want to think how they were taking advantage of their 'privacy', but Aaron knew better. Even though he had his suspicions, those two were as in love with the paranormal as they were with... they just really loved the paranormal. Aaron cursed as he tripped over anotherbed pan and decided to take a seat before he topples over an actual bed, or something.

He fiddled in his pockets, pulling out a voice recorder and turned the camera towards himself.

"Okay... in the hospital room. Gonna try to catch some EVP's- hopefully, they respond." He turned it on and set the recorder down on the bed. "Just, don't throw anything at me, please. I seriously come in peace.

"Did you die here?" Aaron gave it a moment before continuing, "Were you one of the patients who got their organs stolen? That's really not fair and I want to help." He gave it another few seconds before sighing.

Aaron shouldn't even be here by himself. Nick was supposed to make his way here by himself, but he turned those puppy eyes on Zak and Zak can't say no to him. Aaron scoffed and internally cursed himself. "Was me." Recorded.

He just wanted this madness to stop. There was tonight and then tomorrow and then Nick would go home. Where would that land Zak? Aaron was betting right in his arms again, but the older man didn't know if he could accept him this time. He was so worried about Zak attaching himself in ways that he shouldn't that he didn't realize that he, himself, was becoming attached to Zak in ways that he just couldn't.

He sighed again. "Just make a noise. Any noise: Knock. Throw a little rock, or something..." He gave it a few minutes before grabbing the recorder. He debated listening through, but he didn't think he could conjure enough excitement if there was anything caught.

"Aaron?"

The eldest turned his head in the direction of the voice and his camera followed after. He watched through the tiny screen the door opening and Zak's head popping in. He laughed.

"Dude, give a guy a warning."

"I did, bro." He came through and Aaron matched his grin. It only fell a bit when Nick walked through too. They were so close, always too close, within arms reach of each other.

Nick faced him, "Catch anything?"

"Don't know, man." Aaron walked passed them and out the door, "We'll find out later."

They slowly made their way to their base, only stopping whenever any of them heard something unexplainable. The place was arguably active, but their evidence was mediocre at best. They were all just really silent, hoping that something would pop up and halt their trek to their base, but the small sounds were never followed up right away, though it felt like something was following them.

The lamps were switched on and the cameras were set down in a row. Aaron wasn't going to try a vlog tonight- not with the tenseness he was feeling. He was pretty sure it was only him feeling it too. He watched the two sit next to each other in front of a free table, snacks in hand.

"So I was thinking-" Zak said nonchalantly and nodded to Aaron as he took his other side, "After this, we should all split. We're not getting much of anything and we're eatin' up moonlight."

Nick snorted, "You wanna go alone?" Zak threw a cracker at him and he laughed, "I'm just sayin'. You hate going off alone." Aaron held a snort and Zak raised an eyebrow.

"I could do it, Nick."

"I'm going with you."

Aaron rolled his eyes, "No, you're not." He popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth, "You're with him all night, bro, we need to branch out. What are you- scared?"

The younger man leaned forward on the table, looking over Zak to glare at Aaron, "What's your problem?"

"I don't know what you mean, bro."

"No- all day, man. I could feel it. It's knockin' me off balance. What did I do?"

He pursed his lips, just staring at Nick. Zak gave him a quick shake of his head, but even Aaron didn't know what he was going to say next. Aaron uncoiled and looked away, "It's nothing." He could see at the corner of his eye Nick grabbing Zak's arm and the exchange of silent questions between their eyes before they went back to their snacks.

They kept their break short. There wasn't as much talking and Aaron couldn't help feeling like it was his fault. As they filled their pockets and shouldered their cameras, he couldn't help but feel that this window was wasted. Something could have been said right then, just to ease the tension.

They all journeyed into the morgue. It had been a while since any of them went in alone. Too many bad things happen when either of them were left by himself in one. Aaron took a corner, keeping the wideshot, and Nick followed quite a few feet away as Zak crept towards the icebox. He grinned. It's like dejavu.

"Who's goin' in?"

"We're not goin' in, Aaron, geez." Zak said, laughter filling his voice. He walked slowly and carefully, blind, because he didn't bring his camera this time. It amazed Aaron sometimes how much trust Zak puts in them when they constantly let him down.

"Watch your step."

"Thanks." The sound of his feet sweeping the floor filled the room before it made a dull thud. He stepped over the obstacle, hands outstretched. "Okay. I'm vulnerable. If you got anything you want to do to me, do it to me now!"

There was a silence that seemed to stretch on for hours. Zak's eyes flashed in the false light, the light orbs darting as if he could see shadows in the pitch darkness. There was nothing.

"Aaron. Aaron, where are you?" The older man had to chuckle as he watched Zak reach blindly for him even though he was like fifteen feet away.

"I'm here." he made his way forward.

"Gimme that camera. Aaron, you go with Nick into the other side of the building. I wanna see if I could rile up the spirits by myself."

Nick opened his mouth to complain, but Zak had already turned his back on them, muttering silently to himself a plan. Aaron heard the youngest man sigh before seeing a tiny red light flash his direction. "You ready?"

Aaron shrugged, "Lead the way, bro." He threw a playful 'shut up' over his shoulder when Zak told him not to trip over or break anything.

The journey was too tense as they made their way through the building and Aaron didn't even bother trying to lessen it. He could barely see an inch in front of him and all he had as a guide was Nick's tiny LED screen, but he didn't want to be too close to him at the moment. He could tell Nick was troubled by that, with the way he slowed down a bit for him to catch up. In their past investigations, Aaron would be right above his shoulder, trying hard not to trip and take Nick down with him, but now Aaron was risking his own safety just to put some space between himself and the younger man.

Aaron clicked his flashlight on for a moment when he tripped over a pole but quickly shut it off. Nick still noticed it and he turned around. "Dude, just get here and look at the screen."

"N'aw, bro, I'm good." Aaron muttered, but he did shorten the distance between them. They both paused when they heard movement to the right of them and they did take the time out to document, but it was so out of synch even Nick cut it short out of frustration.

He walked up on Aaron, grabbing his shoulder and Aaron was a bit surprised when he tried to pull away and met with a wall. He didn't remember backing up into one and with wide eyes, managed to make out Nick's dark eyes in the faint light of the camera screen held down by Nick's side.

"What is your problem?"

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Aaron blurted out, but quickly sealed his lips when Nick blinked confusedly. His hand fell off his shoulder and it was then Aaron realized how harshly he was breathing. "Sorry."

"What do you mean?" Nick wasn't going to let it drop now- that, Aaron was sure of. "What am I doing?"

Aaron rubbed his face, hiding his eyes though it was practically pitch black. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before meeting Nick's eyes. "You and Zak. It's you and Zak and this... this thing you guys have."

"What, that we're together? You knew this-"

"And I realized how stupid it is." Aaron said and sighed when Nick's eyes narrowed. "Hell, Nick, you're not there for him anymore and it's driving him crazy."

Nick shook his head, "I'm there for him now. And he could call me whenever he wants to."

"That's not enough."

"It's all that we got." Aaron scoffed and looked away. Nick pushed his shoulder into the wall. "Zak and I have accepted this. He and I are in this together."

"It seems like Zak's more into it than you are." Aaron muttered and shoved Nick away. The older man didn't want this argument as much as he hoped to persuade Nick into giving Zak up. But Aaron knew how bad he was at holding in what he wanted to say and he needed to end this quick before he said something he'll regret even more. "Look. I see him more than you do and it bothers me how much he's changed."

"Changed...? What do you-"

Aaron almost sighed in relief when their walkie talkies screamed at them. Nick moved away as Zak's voice fell through, and the relief Aaron felt fell at the fear in Zak's voice.

"Guys... guys, please. Come back."

It only took them a second to forget their argument and head back the way they came. Flashlights were turned on as they completely disregarded their investigation to come to their friend's aid. Aaron and Nick split up when they reached the wing their lead investigator was in and it had been Aaron who found him.

Flashing his light around the room, he nearly screamed when the man he was looking for strode over to him, intent in every step and a dark shadow hiding his blue eyes. He took a step back when Zak came too close and the younger man paused, lifting his head. His guard fell at the furrowed brow of his friend.

"Aaron?"

Aaron nodded and Zak came closer, arms outstretched, but he put a hand out. "Nick will be here soon..."

"Just for a moment, bro... I can't tell what's real at the moment."

The older man stopped himself from taking another step back when Zak came forward again. He felt hands run down his chest before circling around his wrists. He heard footsteps pause at the door and Aaron was sure Nick was watching them. He didn't have the heart to tell Zak, and selfishly he brought the raven closer.

"You alright?"

"I'll be fine..." Zak murmured and Aaron almost grinned smugly when the younger male dragged his hands up to his shoulders, grounding himself with his presence. "Dude, I was lifted off the floor. How is that possible?"

He said quietly, "You'll be fine. You're not hurt?"

"Just freaking out." Zak laughed tiredly. "I'm glad you're here."

"You know I'll be here if you need me."

Nick finally signaled his presence. Zak tore himself away at the second light and turned around with wide eyes. The hurt in Nick's was so evident it even made Aaron's hardened heart feel guilty, but he refused to back down. This conversation should have happened long before tonight.

"What's going on?"

Zak dropped his eyes, "Nothing, Nick." He raised them, trying to feign excitement. "Dude, you have to see this footage. 195 pounds of my ass lifted straight off the floor." He took a step towards Nick, wanting to grab his hand like he's done so many times, but Zak felt his smile crack when Nick chuckled brokenly and pulled away.

"You were with Aaron, weren't you?" He whispered accusingly. It was obvious he meant more than this night and he shook his head with a resentful smile at flinch he received. It was as good as a confession. He laughed bitterly, "I can't believe it... Zak, it was supposed to be you and me."

"It is. I mean-"

The brunette shook his head. "Not anymore." He glared at Aaron over his shoulder then back at Zak. "When?"

"About two weeks after you left." Aaron answered when Zak choked on his words, "When he needed you and you didn't come back."

"Aaron, no..." Zak looked over his shoulder, everything on his face telling the older man to please stop.

He couldn't stop the snort and folded his arms. Bitterness collected on his tongue and he couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth. He wanted to take it back, but he couldn't. How could this young man have it all – how can he have both his wife and Zak when he was hurting them both? It wasn't fair, not for anyone. Not when Nick could let Zak go and let Aaron take- "You're doing a bad job of 'taking care of him', bro."

Brown eyes darted over to him,"No one asked you!" Nick took a step towards Aaron, but Zak grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"It's not his fault."

"Zak..."

"You're gone, Nick. I need you and you're not there. You can't be there." Zak dropped his gaze, "I don't need many people in my life, bro... and you willing left-"

"I didn't leave you." His heart raced. He could feel Aaron just on the border, just watching everything shatter to the ground. Nick wanted him to leave, he needed to fix this. "I told you I always come back, Zak."

They heard a crash. The three of them turned their heads in the same direction and reacted to a voice they all heard. Nick snapped out of it first, holding onto Zak's wrists. Zak pulled away.

"Its going to hurt to have to say goodbye every time." He grabbed his camera off the floor by the wall, turning it on, but not recording. He wouldn't meet Nick's eyes, though he met Aaron's steady browns to see how he was reacting to everything. He dropped them again as he turned toward Nick. "I'll have to watch you walk the other way in a few hours... let's... let's just do this."

They managed to finish the investigation regardless of the hours that felt like they stretched on for days. As time passed, Zak even started to ignore Aaron and by morning had fallen deep within himself, refusing to talk unless it was to answer questions. Nick couldn't even look at any of them and Aaron wished he could just take back this night and start all over again. This had to be a night where they couldn't even show their findings to their fans.

They loaded up and the interns that picked them up that night automatically sensed the tense air around the trio. Aaron managed a tired a tired smile and that was enough for them to start picking up equipment around the three. The drive back to the hotel was the worst. Usually, chatter would take up the whole van, their interns so interested in their experiences. But it was quiet now.

The equipment was taken back up to Aaron's room. The confusion on the interns faces was almost funny.

"Aren't you guys going to review the footage?"

Aaron turned to the one who spoke, "Not tonight... why don't you guys chill today before we have to go back?" They left with a second look back. It was completely different from the norm.

He paused as he pushed the door close. Looking across the hallway, Aaron wondered if he should knock on Zak's door, make sure he was alright. Nick had pretty much escaped, refusing to budge from his place on the elevator until he reached his floor even with the pleading look in Zak's eyes. Aaron was sure Zak was wounded by that. Like Zak had said in the park, Nick didn't really need him and even Aaron thought Zak was at risk to be pushed aside if he gave any trouble to their youngest partner. He shut the door.

He didn't want to think of Nick that way. The monster he was creating was so heartless it couldn't be his best friend if he kicked Zak to the curb for a a single screw up, as big as it was. Surely Nick understood what Zak was going through. Zak had always been one to hide behind his self-depreciating wit that just begged others to put him down. It was no secret between the three the self-consciousness he tried to hide, but was put to light with the way he'd cast his eyes down and away when speaking what truly was on his mind. The raven was just different like that from them. He silently depended on Nick's confidence and now it looked like Zak latched onto his as well.

Tonight he had a glimpse of what Zak and Nick had. It was something more than just physical, something passed comfort. Somehow, whatever they had spun off from their brotherhood and created this thing that was too intimate and unstable. It couldn't work. Aaron was sure heartbreak was just at the end of it all. Like the big brother he was, Aaron couldn't have them spiraling down in that direction. He didn't want to see that happen to either of them.

He needed to talk to Zak and once he got that man to see the light, he'd have to have a hard talk with Nick. This couldn't go on. Aaron knew he should of put his foot down on their relationship a long time ago. He just got out of his room when he heard the doors of the elevator slide open and steeled his expression when Nick stepped out and paused in surprise. He watched the younger man's eyes harden before he strode towards himself.

"I need to talk to you."

"By all means, bro, we'll talk."

The door closed behind them quietly. The two men didn't even bother to sit as they stared each other down in the middle of the room. This time it was Nick who couldn't meet his eyes, and Aaron was pretty sure it was because the man was resisting the urge to punch him in the face. And really, how hard was it to stifle the urge himself.

"How?" Nick finally asked, his voice strong despite the angry tremble in his fists. Aaron watched him hide them as he crossed his arms. "When?"

Aaron sighed and anchored his hands on his hips. Seeing Nick upset so thoroughly before him was satisfying, but at the moment Aaron wanted to feel anything but. He wanted to be angry at Nick, if only to justify his own actions with Zak, but now the guilt was back and just more than a little regret. He sighed again. "I don't know, Nick. He needed someone and I couldn't have him destroying himself."

Nick shook his head, "What are you talking about? It's not that bad. He's never that lost." He narrowed his eyes, "Dude, don't lie to me. There have been times I didn't talk to him for weeks."

"You think I don't know that?" Aaron laughed bitterly, "No. This time you left. It's not the same, bro. Zak knew you'd always be around then. Now you're across the damn nation and more than a phone call away. What do you think he felt when you moved?"

"Depressed. But I knew. He called-"

"And you didn't come home."

He watched the words on Nick's tongue die, leaving him speechless. Aaron scoffed.

"And who do you think was there? I was, when you couldn't be, G." He shook his head with a tired, wry smile on his lips, "Nick, he would barely leave his dungeon and when he did... he wasn't the same."

Nick scoffed, nodding though the expression on his face was far from agreeable. There was a little crack in his eyes, something that told Aaron that Nick understood, but refused to admit. It was a lost cause. "Just- don't. Aaron, you're his best friend. Just his best friend."

That almost hurt like a stab in the chest. Aaron narrowed his eyes at the younger male, measuring him up. Who was Nick to decide what Zak wanted? "What the hell does Zak mean to you?" The words came out harsher than he'd of hoped, but he was sure Nick understood his meaning. He turned away, "I have the mind to go to his room right now and tell him to end it with you."

"You wouldn't." Nick finally closed the distance between the both of them, grabbing Aaron by his elbows. "He- he wouldn't listen to you..."

"G, if you hadn't noticed, he came to me-"

"He won't listen to you." he tried again, and he still looked confidently into Aaron's eyes, "I'll fix it."

"I don't know."

"I'll take care of him." Nick said and swallowed thickly. "Just- don't get in the way."

Aaron stared at him long and hard. It was silent in the room, Nick giving him the time to sort it out himself. Selfishly, he wanted to refuse Nick his second chance, but this was his best friend. His brother, and Zak... Zak might even lovethis guy. He sighed. "What if he comes to me? What do I do?"

The younger man shook his head, heartbreak just visible in the furrow of his brows. "Just don't sleep with him, Aaron, please. I can't take it."

Aaron pulled himself away when Nick's grip around his elbows started to tighten. He nodded. "You fix this, Nick." He grunted when Nick tightened his grip around his arms before letting go.

"I'll make it better."

Aaron nodded and like that, Nick was leaving his room. The door shut quietly on it's own and Aaron waited for the footsteps that would lead Nick to the elevator, but they never came. Instead, it stopped a few seconds later, just enough to reach the other side of the hallway- to Zak's room.

He tried not to listen. Tried to block it out while he unzipped his jacket and threw it on the desk chair, with the rustling of clothes as he flung his shirt next to it, and by dropping his pants unceremoniously, belt and all. He couldn't ignore that Zak had let Nick into his room, despite the hurt he was sure Zak was going through. He shut off the lights with a heavy sigh, ready to do it all over again when they returned to Vegas.