Authors note:

Chapter 4 … :D

Disclaimer: I wish I was J.K. Rowling… This chapter yet again belongs to itsjulialol!

Dear Teddy,

I'm sorry I was so dramatic yesterday. I just got really upset because everything I believed about karma is a lie and nice guys really do finish last and that was a lot to take in. I didn't even like Toby that much anyway.

I confronted Alison yesterday in my rage. I told her she was a slut, a bitch and I hoped she would rot in hell. It was kind of awkward because it was in the middle of the hallway. Toby was right next to her. I got so made I charged at her and Toby stepped in front of her like the chivalrous man he is. I was so mad. How dare he defend her? She was scum. And to think I once called her my best friend. I yelled at him for a bit. I don't remember what I said. He started to yell back. So I slapped him. He was saying awful things that I'm not going to repeat but they made me livid.

I ended up with a Saturday detention from one of the teachers walking past. They both got off scar-free.

I don't know how the world works anymore. I just know I feel really bad today.

I went to DADA in tears. Well, red eyes. I'd wiped my tears. Professor Helwood looked like he wanted to say something to me but he didn't. He called me back at the end of the lesson, though.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," I smiled.

"You don't look it. Is everything okay at home?"

And then it kind of spilled out like word vomit. He was just so genuine. He cared. I told him you weren't speaking to me. I didn't tell him why. He asked if I wanted him to talk to you, and I told him I was doing enough of that for the both of us.

He gave me a much needed hug and then I went off to History of Magic.

After dinner, when we went back to the common room, nobody would look me in the eye. I couldn't get much out of anybody since nobody would talk to me but apparently: Hannah was mad at me because Alison was her best friend and it was customary. Zac was mad at me because Hannah was his girlfriend and he had to be on her side. I always expected that. Zac didn't know how to have his own opinion.

Howie wasn't mad at me, since Alison was his girlfriend and all, but he was just sad in general since he found out.

Alison wasn't there. I don't care where she was.

They all hate me. They don't hate Alison, even though she was the one who fucked up everything for us in the first place. I'm the enemy. How did that happen? How come everybody who cares ends up hating me? What am I doing wrong?

Lily.