MEMORIES:

Chapter 4 – Physical Abuse

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

Summary: A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

Rating: M (for the language/content, not that)

A/N: This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

Sara woke up in Grissom's arms the following day. He was sleeping peacefully, so she watched him sleep. She watched the steady rise and fall of his bare chest. She gently ran her fingers up and down his bare arm. She smiled as he turned toward the touch and maneuvered Sara closer to him. She let out a soft sigh and turned over onto her back. She rested her hand protectively over her stomach, not believing that there was an actual human being growing inside there. What was even more mind-boggling to her was the fact that she had actually gotten the man that was presently lying beside her to come out of his shell and let her in. She smiled as she thought of all of the precious moments they had shared together.

Suddenly, a warmer, larger hand covered her smaller one. She looked over and was met with bright blue eyes. She smiled as he leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.

"How'd you sleep, honey?" Grissom asked, his voice thick from sleep.

"Pretty good," she responded.

"That's good," he said.

She sighed and said, "I really don't feel like going into work today. Not after the case we just had."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you," said Grissom. "You've got vacation for the next week and a half, and so do I."

"Won't it be suspicious if we're both off at the same time for the same amount of time?" asked Sara.

"No, everyone thinks that I'm in Arizona visiting my mother," said Grissom.

Sara smiled and said, "I'm glad you're the supervisor."

Grissom kissed her cheek and asked, "Are you hungry? I could make some pancakes, or something."

"Sure...I'm just gonna get a shower really quickly," said Sara, heading for the bathroom.

Grissom made the breakfast while Sara freshened up with a shower. They then both ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. Afterward, when the dishes were cleaned up, Sara sat down on the couch and curled up into a ball.

"Gil, can I continue my childhood tale?" she asked.

"Only if you're ready," said Grissom. "I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do."

"I, I want to talk about it...it will help me feel better," she said. "I feel as though a weight is weighing me down, because I've never talked about my childhood with anybody. Well, after I talked to you yesterday, I felt some of that weight lift."

She took a deep breath and began.

"As I said yesterday, my parents would emotionally abuse me until I was older," said Sara.

"What about your brother?" asked Grissom.

"Oh, that son of a bitch," said Sara angrily. "He always promised me that he'd take me away with him when he turned eighteen. Well, he turned eighteen, and he left...leaving me behind to suffer the wrath of my parents. I just thought he just left for a little bit...that he'd be back for me. He never came back."

"I'm sorry," said Grissom.

"Don't apologize for him," she snarled, but then immediately regretted it as she saw the hurt in his eyes. "Gil, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have snapped at you."

He smiled at her and nodded at her to continue.

"Well, my parents abused each other frequently...especially since they were both drinking," said Sara. "Then they both ganged up on my. Fair match, huh...two forty-something year olds against a seven year old?"

Seven year old Sara was hiding in her room because she just heard her father's car pull into the driveway. She knew that he was at the bar because he was two hours late. He opened the front door and walked into the house.

Sara heard her mother join him in the living room, bugging him about why he was late.

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" screamed her father.

Sara's heart thundered in her chest as she heard her father come up the stairs. He walked closer to her room, and stopped outside of it. Tears started to fill Sara's eyes. She quickly blinked them back, knowing that she'd get an even worse beating if her father saw her crying. He opened the door and shouted, "Why are you up here?"

"I-I was r-reading," she stammered, "sir," she added quickly.

"Reading?!" he roared. "Since when did reading do the dishes? Since when did reading clean the house? Since when did reading clean the yard? Since when did reading put food on the table?"

"N-Never, sir," she answered quietly. "I'll go and do my chores now."

"I'm not done with you, missy!" he shouted, yanking her back by her fragile arm.

They both heard a pop, and he instantly let go. Tears filled Sara's eyes as pain shot through her arm. Sara's father shoved her out the door and said, "Do your chores, then we'll go to the emergency room. If they ask, tell them you tripped and fell down the stairs. Got it?"

"Yes sir," said Sara, cradling her injured arm.

She did the dishes with one hand, since she could move her arm with excruciating pain. When she did the dishes, fed the cat, and took out the trash, Sara's mother and father ushered her into the truck. She cradled her arm the whole way there.

She got to the doctor, and the doctor told her that her shoulder was dislocated. The doctor popped her shoulder in place. Sara bit her lip until it bled to stop herself from screaming.

"There, it's back in place," said the doctor gently. "You should refrain from moving it for four weeks. How did you get this injury anyway?"

Sara immediately looked at the floor, and muttered, "Tripped."

The doctor looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. The doctor explained everything to Sara's parents, and they then took her home.

The four weeks where she didn't have to do anything were heaven. Sara stayed in her room most of the time and didn't have to do any chores. Then the four weeks were up, and the doctor gave her the okay to go back to her normal life.

"I assume you've been bored to tears and can't wait to get back to your normal life," said the doctor with a smile. "Just, be more careful."

Sara wanted to cry and scream, "No, my normal life's a living hell! And this injury wasn't my fault! Take me away from my parents, please!" But she just nodded and walked back out to her parents. They drove her home, and made her do the chores. Sara thought that maybe her parents grew out of their abusive state...boy, was she wrong.

Sara got the worst beating to make up for the four week's worth that she missed. Sara was forced to lie to everyone at school that she was very clumsy and she always got hurt playing sports. This, of course, was a lie...two lies, in fact. Sara was very well-balance. She never tripped of fell, even when her parents were beating the living shit out of her. The second lie was about the sports. Sara played no sports whatsoever, even though she was athletically gifted.

One night, Sara came home to the bad stench of alcohol. Her father was sitting on the couch, nursing a bottle of Scotch. She timidly walked in and said, "Hi Daddy."

"Don't talk to me, you bitch!" he snapped, back-handing her across the face.

Sara closed her eyes to stop the tears from forming. She took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen. He father stopped her (without popping her shoulder out) and said, "I'm not done with you! I got fired, and it's all your fault!"

Sara tried to work out how exactly it was her fault, but didn't get real far.

Sara stopped her story, tears in her eyes. Grissom waited expectantly for her to continue, but she didn't. He waited and asked, "Um, then what?"

"I think his fist connected with my forehead," she said, furrowing her brows. "I woke up in the hospital a week later. He told the doctors that I tripped over the cat and smacked my head on the table. I know that's not what happened because, one, I would've remembered the fall, and, two, the cat was at the vet's office. That lying son of a bitch!"

Her voice caught in her throat as fresh tears welled up. Grissom wrapped his arms around her and gently rocked her. She wiped her eyes and pointed to her left temple where a large scar was visible.

"This is from that "accident"," she said. "He punched with so much velocity that he broke skin!"

Suddenly, Sara stopped. Her hand flew towards her stomach. She felt a rippling sensation under her fingers, and realized that she felt her baby move for the first time. Grissom, petrified, asked, "What happened?"

"The baby...the baby moved!" she whispered excitedly.

Grissom placed his hand where hers just vacated. He felt a small ripple and smiled.

"Wow, I forgot what that felt like," she said without thinking.

She froze, praying that Grissom wasn't paying attention. He was. He slowly turned towards her and said, "Come again?"

"Gil...this isn't my first time pregnant, it's my second," she confessed quietly. "My first pregnancy happened when I was twelve."

A/N: Ooh, how's that for some suspense? Please review if you liked it or hated it. Also, the next chapter deals with Sara's baby, so I would appreciate it if you could review to suggest the gender and/or name of the baby. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far.