Chapter 4

A.N. Sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. I hope you all enjoy the ending.

Katniss POV

A while later Gale scooped me up into his arms and deposited me on my bed. I clung to him desperately as he started to move away, then released him when I realised that he was climbing in beside me. He lay on his back and pulled me into his chest. I knew I needed to say something, to explain, but I couldn't, not yet. So for now we lay in contented silence.

Peeta and Haymitch didn't stay long after my meltdown. I had caught Peeta's eye over Gale's shoulder as they were leaving, and I thought I saw a glimpse of heartbreak in them. I was confused. We had talked about our relationship, and mutually agreed that we had both changed too much to make anything work. Was he just saying that at the time to keep me happy? Was he waiting on me getting better? I felt crushed at the thought. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already had been.

My worries grew when Haymitch came in at some point with Posy. She had been sent by Hazel to fetch Gale, but the biggest smile ever lit up on her face when she saw us.

"What do you want, Posy?" Gale asked, not unkindly.

"Mom sent me to fetch you," she murmured, the smile slipping off her beautiful face.

My heart began pounding painfully in my chest as anxiety robbed me of my breath. He can't go, not now, not ever. I wasn't going to let him go again, I'd follow him to two if I truly had to. Gale felt my panic somehow, and squeezed me tighter to him.

"I'm not going Posy, Katniss needs me." He replied. She smiled and nodded her head before rushing back out the door.

I returned his tight embrace gratefully. Then a sickening thought hit me. Was he only being kind to me because he could see I was hurting? That's who Gale was, kind to anyone he knew, no matter how he felt about them. How did I manage to forget that?

I sunk back into his warmth but was soon disturbed yet again by Haymitch. I actually growled in frustration, making Gale laugh. I smiled despite my annoyance. I hadn't heard his sweet laugh in so long, it warmed my heart.

"Come in," I said gruffly.

"Thank you darling," he said in a sarcastic tone. "Ever so gracious of you."

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Sae is here, it's seven at night and she's made you two some dinner."

"We've been lying here for six hours!" I said surprised.

"Only feels like ten minutes," Gale replied sweetly. We had fallen asleep together, so I could see how we could loose track of time, but six hours?

"Do you want to eat?" I asked.

"I could eat if you could" he said. I smiled. He was the one who had been starving himself in his depressed state, yet it was me he was thinking of, even though I had listened to his stomach growling for the majority of the afternoon. I didn't feel like eating, but he needed too, so I made my decision.

"Yeah let's go" I said sitting up. Slightly light headed I got my bearings before getting off the bed. Gale got up after me and grabbed my hand. I smiled at the contact and led him downstairs.

Sae had cooked us a large feast of seasonal veg, mash, and a range of meats to choose from, along with a couple of pots of gravy. She had shouted at us both for not taking better care of ourselves before leaving through the back door. Gale stared after her for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders and sitting down to eat.

We ate in contented silence before moving over to the chairs in front of the fire. I stared at the roaring embers for a long minute or two before deciding that it was time to talk. I couldn't run away from it any more.

"So you saw her then?" I didn't need to clarify any more than that, he already knew. His body tensed and I longed to comfort him.

"Yeah," he croaked. He took a couple of gulps of his water before carrying on. "I didn't believe mum when she told me, so I went looking for her. I searched every room in that Palace until I found her. It was one of the most painful sights I have ever seen."

"Where was she?" I whispered.

"In a room on the ground floor. She was laid on a table, with a sheet over her. I pulled back the sheet and my fears were realised." he gulped, trying desperately to hold back the tears. "She looked good though. Like her normal self...like she was sleeping."

Tears trickled down my face thick and fast. Not in all these years, did I ever imagine that Gale would be grieving for Prim, just as badly as I was.

"I'm so sorry." I wept. "I'm sorry that I blamed you." He didn't comfort me. Not this time.

"Why did you?" He asked, a slight steeliness to his voice. I gulped down my tears and tried to answer as best as I could.

"Because it was easier too," he looked at me angrily, and a gulped again, trying to sort out my own jumbled thoughts.

"I was mad at myself for not keeping her safe. Mad at my mum for not keeping a better eye on her. Mad at you for being a soldier, and doing your duty, rather than being at thirteen, safe, with her. Mad at Snow for starting the war, and mad at Coin for betraying me.

"It was Snow who had informed me of what she'd done, I didn't believe him of course, not at first. But then, as I was preparing to shoot him, it all clicked in my brain. Coin had sacrificed those innocent kids to win the war, because no one would believe that it wasn't snow who'd done it. And she sacrificed Prim to further unhinge me, so that I couldn't overthrow her when she came into power. I would be too damaged. So I killed her, and then he choked on his own blood, and I'd gotten my revenge.

"But the grief hit and the pain set in, and I had ran out of people to blame. So I blamed you, and I couldn't kill you like I killed them, so I cut you off.

"What your mom said was right, I was so wrapped up in my grief and anger that I didn't stop to think about your grief, your anger, and how Coin had used you as a pawn.

"I was just mad that you didn't stay with her."

"I had to protect you!" He said tersely.

"I know. You choose me and not her, and I was so mad at you for that."

"I wanted my part in the war, Katniss. I wanted to see an end to Snow as much as you did. But I couldn't let you do it alone, I was too terrified of loosing you. But if I had have had any inkling of what Coin was planning. I would've stayed to protect her. No matter how much pain it caused seeing you out there. Because I knew that if she was to die then I would loose you any ways. But I swear I thought she was safe."

"I know," I said smiling half heartedly. "So did I."

"But Snow, and I were so infested in watching each other that neither the two of us saw through Coins plans. I didn't keep a close enough eye on her, and it haunts me every day."

"Only a true psychopath could see her plans, but as you said, Snow was watching you." I smiled and nodded.

"I am truly sorry though" I reiterated.

"It's OK," Gale sighed.

"No it's not." I snapped. "Look at you Gale, it's visible how badly you've been suffering, and I caused that. But in all of the scenarios that I ran through my head, I never imagined this version."

"You've been thinking about me?" He asked coyly. I smiled at his cuteness.

"Of course I have." He smiled at my response.

"I didn't intend on becoming like this." he sighed. "Sure, I was heartbroken at not only loosing Prim, but loosing you too, but my work kept my focus, for a short while. But after a few years I had earned enough money to support my family for a while, and daily work became unnecessary. Mom was working too, and bringing in her own wage, so the need for me to do so became less and less. I didn't really enjoy the job, so without the need I lost interest. I began skipping days, turning up late, finishing early. So I was signed off work. I began sleeping in late, then most of the day, then practically all day. I stopped eating, because I didn't see the point. I didn't realise what was happening until it was too late to pull myself out. That's why Posy came here. I guess she just knew that the only person who could help me was you."

"She done us both a favour. I may have had a routine, and things to do, but it was all an act. I was never OK. I couldn't ever be OK because I kept running away from the truth rather than facing it. I didn't have you." He smiled sadly.

"Two people who can't live without each other but too afraid to seek the other out." He stated. I smiled at the irony.

"I have a lot to thank Posy for, seeing you both has gave me the kick up the butt I needed to face the truth and put my past behind me. She brought you back to me, and I am never letting you go again." he looked at me sharply. His expression unreadable, but I could still see the faint glimmer of hope in his steel grey eyes that I adored.

"I will do whatever it takes to gain you back. For however long it takes. I will even move to two for you if you wanted me too. Just tell me what I need to do" I begged.

"Tell me you love me," he said simply. I wasn't expecting that, I was expecting all sorts of demands, I was expecting to have to grovel. Then I remembered, that wasn't who Gale was.

"I do love you, and I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt that I did." I replied earnestly. He let out a shaky breath.

"Good cause I was never going to leave anyway. I love you too much to be without you any longer." I smiled and launched myself at him, devouring his lips with mine in our first ever passionate kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later I found myself walking over to Peeta's to try and talk to him. I had it seen him at all since my break down. Gale stayed, and so did his family. We spent the time talking through all the hurt and suffering, trying to forgive and forget. Hazel and I talked as well. I apologised profusely for a ll the pain I had caused, and she apologised for all the things she had said.

There was no need though, she'd given me the wake up call that I'd needed, and I told her as much. Still along with Gale, she apologised for letting Haymitch convince them to go to two, rather than give me the help that I needed. They both new it was a bad idea, but neither knew if I wanted or needed them. Haymitch managed to convince them that I didn't. Something I intended to talk to him about, but first, and more importantly I needed to speak with Peeta.

I needed to mend things, Peeta meant too much to me for me to let him go without doing everything I could to convince him not too. Something which Gale was trying hard to accept. But he was still weary. We would eventually build up the trust needed for him to not worry, it would just take time.

So I knocked on his door and waited with baited breath on his response.

He was surprised to see me to say the least. "Kat...Katniss," he stammered.

"Hi. Can I come in?" I asked shyly.

"Sure" he said desperately in a steadier voice.

I walked in through the door and straight into the kitchen. It was the place where I liked to be the most.

"I haven't seen you in three days." I said as I perched in one of the six chairs at the dining table.

"Yeah well, he's there, " he said sharply.

"You can't stay away forever just because Gale is here."

"Not for forever, just until he leaves?" he asked confused.

"Gale's not leaving, he's here for good." He looked horrified.

"You forgave him?" he spat.

"There was nothing to forgive him for. In fact it was him that needed to forgive me."

"He killed Prim!"

"No he didn't," I said more fiercely than I'd intended. "He was used as a pawn in Coins games, he had no clue that his ideas where being used as weapons. Coin took his anger, and his weaknesses for me, and used it too kill all those innocent kids. He had no idea Prim was even there, until after she was dead."

Peeta looked deflated. He mulled things over for a few minutes before saying anything. "And you're sure?"

"One hundred percent." I said instantly. "For a long time I was mad at him for Prim, when he'd nothing to do with it. But I was also mad at him for coming out to fight rather than staying to protect her. He choose me instead of her, but if he had half of an inkling, he'd have turned traitor to protect her. "

"Yeah he would've," he said sadly. "So you choose him?"

"It's always been him." I stated matter of factly.

His heartbroken expression stopped me in my tracks. Had he really expected more?

"Did you expect anything different?"

"I always expected something more."

"But...but we had agreed?"

"No Katniss you agreed. I only went along with it all because I thought you just needed time."

"I was always truthful about how I felt. Peeta I love you, as my friend. I always will, we've been through too much together."

"You've always loved him then?"

"I realised after the first games, but I didn't know how I felt about you. That's why I never said nor done anything. I was trying not to hurt you both."

"So you're not in live with me, not even a little bit?" He asked hopefully.

"No. I'm sorry. I love you and care for you deeply, and don't want to lose you as a friend."

"I'll need some time Katniss. To move on."

"OK, but I will see you again, won't I?"

"Of course you will. As you said, we've been through too much together." I smiled and hugged him tight before going home to Gale.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I arrived home to a sight to behold. My hallway was covered in Primrose petals that trailed all the way into the kitchen. I picked a handful off the floor and sniffed them. A calmness washed over me and I smiled happily and made my way to the kitchen.

A lovely dinner had been made and laid on the table. Gale jumped up quickly when he saw that I had entered. He smiled at me nervously.

"What's all this?" I asked unable to keep the smile off my face.

"Please sit?" He asked and I did as he requested. "I have something very important to ask you. You know I love you. I love you more than anything I'm this world, and I know we've talked about this before...but things are different now. Snow is dead, and the games died with him. So now I hope you'll change you mind." My heart thundered hard in my chest as he knelt on one knee and produced a ring box. He opened it to reveal a stunning white gold ring set with a black diamond. It was different, unique, and unexpected.

"Catnip, will you please do me the huge honour of marrying me?"

"Are you sure?" I asked. His face fell. "It's not too soon?" I hastened to add.

"More like five years late, the way I see it?" He smiled coyly.

"Then yes!" I declared.

"Really?"

"Of course," I laughed. "It's as you said, things are different now."

His smile was wider than I'd ever seen before, and he gently placed the ring on my finger with a trembling hand. I matched his smile and kissed him passionately.

"It's beautiful," I smiled honestly. Looking down on it and admiring how it looked on my finger.

"Unique, and different, just like you. I know we have a lot of healing to do, but we can do it together."

I nodded and kissed him again. Now that I thought about it. It really wasn't too soon, we had waited long enough. And we truly wouldn't be able to love on from the horrors we'd faced without each other. He was my rock, my everything. We may have lost someone incredibly important to us, and we would truly never be the same again. But we could mend our broken hearts, put the past hurt and suffering behind us, and try to find that small bit of normal together.