Chapter 4- Nyota

I helped Grayson get dressed. When he was fully dressed in his kaki pants, long button down blue shirt and boots I pulled him into a hug.

"Mommy I can not breathe." He whined.

"Yes you can or you wouldn't be talking." I laughed and pulled away from him.

I was greeted by his beautiful smile. I rustled his hair with my hand and brushed my hand against his face. He smiled softly at me and tears left my eyes.

"Mommy why are you crying?" He questioned.

"I'm going to miss you and your sister. You're my babies." I cried.

"Mommy we're not babies anymore we're five." He scolded.

I scoffed and shook my head.

"Yes Gray I know how old you are I was there. I just I love you and Amanda so much it's very hard to let you go and not be able to see you everyday." I cried.

"Soren and Sky will be here. You will see them everyday." He countered.

"Sweetie your brothers are not replacements for you and Amanda. Yes they will be here but it's not the same as having you and your sister with us everyday." I answered pinching his chin.

"So you will miss us?" He questioned softly.

"Of course everyday. So I want you to send a communication at least once a week." I said tearfully.

"I promise mommy. I will miss you too."

I smiled at my beautiful son. He's like Spock in so many ways identity crisis and all. I don't have to be physic to know that he'll end up at Starfleet too.

I did my best to keep my tears in check. Amanda bounced into the room and I smiled. I came to the conclusion that Amanda looked like the both of us but she had more of Spock's features than she had of mine. I know that she will follow her brother to the end of the universe they have a bond like no other. They have the twin bond I see it with Soren and Skylar too. If Gray decides to go to Starfleet she'll be right there next to him and vice versa.

"Mommy it's time to dress me now." She said happily.

"It sure is diva. I have the perfect outfit." I said with a smile as I walked over to her closet.

I saw the boys run pass the room and Spock running after them. It will defiantly be a lot calmer around here that is for sure. Not by much though. Sky and Soren were toddlers in every sense of the word complete opposites of how Gray and Amanda are. Gray and Amanda sometimes remind me of small adults but Soren and Sky are different.

Maybe it's because Spock and I are used to having children now that we're more relaxed and that makes Sky and Soren relaxed or if it's just that Amanda and Gray are firstborn maybe even at this age they feel pressure. I gave birth to all four of them and they certainly have the same father. But the differences in how they interact with each other and us are completely fascinating.

Maybe the difference was because when I was pregnant with Mandy and Gray Spock wasn't around until the very end which is also when they were so busy trying to protect the three of us during the Klingon incident that they mentally grew up too soon. I'm not sure of anything except my heart is breaking.

I came back into the room with Amanda's favorite purple dress and same colored shoes. I grabbed some panties and stockings for her and placed them on her bed.

"Come on Mandy." I said softly trying not to let my tears fall.

I dressed her in silence. I sat her between my legs as I brushed her hair into a ponytail putting her ears on full display. I love those ears I'm very proud of those ears. Unlike Gray Amanda does not share in his identity crisis.

For now she is comfortable with her appearance and her heritage that may change of course once she becomes older but for now she is a very confident little girl.

"Mommy you'll miss me right?" She questioned as I wrapped her hair in the barrette.

"Of course why is that a question you and Gray keep asking? We're your parents we love you and it is very hard for us to let you go." I answered.

I finished her hair and pat both sides of her head. She stood and faced me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I held her tightly.

"I love you mommy."

"I love you too baby. I'll always love you. You're my diva."

"Mommy I'll do my best in school so that you and daddy will be proud of me."

I grasped her little face in my hands and kissed her.

"Mandy we will always be proud of you." I said pulling her into another hug.

"Ladies." Spock said from the door.

I looked at him and smiled. He had changed into his on duty uniform.

"Spock you changed what happened?" I questioned confused.

"Soren." He answered with a smile. "This is more comfortable anyway." He answered with another smile.

"I'll change too. I'll be back." I said walking pass him.

I quickly changed into my duty uniform and I realized how comfortably it really was. I walked back into the living room to see all of my children, husband and father in law waiting for me.

Spock walked over to me and hugged me.

"It's time to go. Jim will meet us in the transporter room." He said softly.

"Ok." I replied shaking my head.

"Are you ok?" He questioned in almost a whisper.

"I'll live I suppose."

I sighed deeply and walked with him over to our family. I held Soren in my arm and held Amanda's hand. Spock held Grayson's hand and held Skylar. The walk to the transporter room seemed to go quickly. To quick for me.

In moments we were on Vulcan. I sighed heavily again.