It is Saturday. First break since school started and I slept in. Ahh.
I caught a rerun of a episode called "The Pill" where Jackie has a pregnancy scare (with just Kelso involved). Funny as hell. Anyway this storyline is obviously eons different from that one although Jackie is the same age...I think.
With that note, I am not following any sort of timeline. I've already screwed up anyway, writing in the cheese maiden thing and Steven as having feelings for her, though that didn't really develop til later. So, please do not write angry reviews about vis and vis going on when it happened in the later future. I do not care. Like Whitman,
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes)"
With that, I must add that this goes for all non-70's items I may have written in. I apologize if the bottled water greatly upsets reviewers, but I'm not changing it. Please do not write more of non 70's items. For an explanation, please look at the Walt Whitman quote I have provided above.
Oh and Eric and Donna will be on then off then on again in the chapters for DonnaEric diehard fans. At the end though, I can guarantee that they're together.
Disclaimer: Look at Prologue.
The Name Game
Chapter Three
Ian Roger
That screamed Mama's boy in a way that even Eric Forman didn't. Jackie chuckled and flipped to the next page of her magazine, while waiting for her name to be called.
Monday had been an awkward day. She avoided Michael and her cheerleader friends, hid out in the library, and actually finished all her homework. She would've gone to Kitty's, but insecure Donna was staked out there, determined to bring everyone to see her cooking disaster. Jackie decided to just cook for herself in her little house.
She had thought of plenty of names while cooking. Cameron, David, and Liam were some of the bigger favorites of that day. It had been a nice quiet day at the Burkhart house. Daddy had fired another maid, so there were only two left and Jackie wished he would hurry up and fire the other two. She found them annoying as hell.
Tuesday, she had puked the most ever. Probably because her dinner was a little bigger then usual, cooking for four instead of two. Jackie had wrapped up the leftovers, dutiful of what little money she had. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her tummy was flat as a board and Jackie felt impatient to see it fat. So fat she couldn't see her toes.
She didn't know why though. Looking around, she grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under her shirt, giggling at the added weight.
"I'm fat," She said happily.
With that, Jackie decided that, despite the puke, pregnancy felt like a natural high. The hormones alone felt like she was smoking non-stop weed and couldn't stop.
She had also hidden in the library that day. Donna had been with her and didn't think anything of it, being too distracted by Eric and her own life to deal with who she thought of as spoiled Jackie who was her best friend for some reason.
Dinner had been better that day. Donna was at her own place and everyone seemed less stonier. Kitty was telling stories about how Red used to court her while Red would hush her, claiming it was all lies. Jackie would laugh and take it all in stride. Steven had a secret smile on his face as he watched the young girl from the privacy of his rose colored glasses. Eric seemed as if he was in a daze, not listening at all. Shame, since this seemed like a rare dinner at the Formans with actual conversation. Most were just eating food with standard questions and compliments to the cooks.
Wednesday had been full of surprises. Jackie stepped on the weight measure and jumped all over for gaining a full three pounds. Then she stopped, thinking that jumping wouldn't be so good for Baby.
Damien Elton
Elton John was classic, but Elton John was not what a cute little baby looked like. Also Damien was too bad boyish, she decided. Steven could be a Damien, but her baby had to have a cute baby name.
There had been a moment after her name was called when Jackie began panicking that Baby wasn't okay. She could never have her Damien Elton!
Well, she was never going to have a Damien Elton. That didn't work right. She might not have Baby though!
"Everything looks good, Jackie," The doctor said, smiling, "Does the father know?"
"I'm going to tell him," She said softly, "Only...I don't know which one is the father," She admitted
"We already checked you for veneral diseases and you came out clean,"
"I told you," Jackie sighed, "I took my birth control pills and they both wore a condom. Believe me," She laughed. The doctor somehow knew that she was feeling insecure about it though.
"How could this happen?" She whispered.
"Condoms aren't 100 effective and the same goes for pills," The doctor said kindly, "We really have no way to know who the father is until after the baby is born right now,"
Jackie nodded, "If I gave you a detailed description of how we did it both times, would it help?"
"No honey," The doctor sighed, she was such a small thing and only sixteen years old. Younger girls had walked through her door before, though. "I'd tell them both, but it's all up to you,"
"Is it a boy?" She asked
"It's too early right now," She explained, chuckling, "You want a boy?"
"Honestly, I want a girl, but I've always wanted a big brother to protect me," She explained softly.
The doctor-Dr. Meg Sharp, nodded, smiling. She had two big brothers who were annoying as hell, but they had helped her decide that her husband really was The One. After this girl, she would have to call them up again and thank them for being such pests when they were growing up.
"The baby seems to be fine right now, but I'd make it a point of avoiding marijuana and other drugs," Dr. Sharp said, "That goes for alcohol and caffeine as well,"
"Oh, I won't even use mouthwash since I found out," She said hurriedly, and then smiled, "Thank you!" She added, hugging Dr. Sharp before walking out, newly resolved to tell everyone everything.
Now, it was a Thursday. Jackie was flipping through a magazine. In her purse, she had a copy of the Rolling Stones, a chocolate bar, a Star Wars doll, a hairbrush and a few firecrackers. It was obvious which was for which. She had decided to tell them all at once.
Walter Arther
Jackie shuddered inwardly. It rhymed too much and Walter was the name of a 50 year old office...person. No.
Steven was watching something on TV, Eric licking a Popsicle, Donna next to her, sneaking glances to Eric, Eric, vice versa. Fez was on the lawn chair giggling about something. Jackie didn't think to ask. She was just waiting for Michael.
Finally he came, like a cannon, shooting though the door.
"Hey everyone," He said, grinning. Jackie stood up, like a shot, holding her purse.
"Sit there Michael," She instructed and turned off the TV.
"Hey!" Hyde said, before turning into an emotionless Zen
"It was a commercial," Jackie told him, and handed him a copy of his magazine, and everyone else their gifts.
"A hairbrush?" Donna asked
"Yes, you need to do something with your hair," Jackie sighed, "Just because it's red doesn't mean you should give up entirely. Now hush, I have something important to say!" She stomped her foot for effect and they all looked at her, bored a bit, but thankful for their gifts.
"I'm, I'm," Jackie sighed, "I'm going to-" She stopped, thinking she couldn't do this, "I'm going to be expecting presents on my birthday!" She ended with and walked away, out the door, feeling like chickenshit.
Red was working on the car. Jackie sighed and wiped her tears.
"Jackie," Red said, kindly, "You're crying," He frowned, "What'd that dumbass do now?"
"I'm pregnant," She whispered, tears starting to well,
Red was stunned. He figured something was going on with her, but nothing on this scale. Sighing, Red opened his arms and let her hug him, sobbing on his shirt.
"Does the dumbass know?" He asked, figuring it was Kelso. Poor girl. She could do so much better then a Kelso. They all could.
"I don't know who the dumbass is," Jackie said softly, "Either him or Steven,"
"Rape?" Red asked, his grip tightening
Jackie shook her head, stepping away a little, "I saw dumbass number one cheating on me. Wanted to get revenge on him,"
"Next time, just ask me to put the dumbass's foot up his ass,"
Jackie giggled, "Who do you think's the dumbass?"
"You," Red said, sighing, "Oh Jackie, is this why you and Kitty are all weepy and cooking these days?"
Jackie nodded, "Kitty doesn't know. You were the first person I told. I was about to tell them, but-" She sighed, "I couldn't,"
Red nodded, "Kitty told me about Eric after a four course meal," He sighed, "And I did not sing anything!" He added sharply, "I don't even like Sinatra!"
"I believe you," Jackie assured him, giggling.
"Get out of here," Red said softly, "Fumes could be bad for the baby. Spend time with Kitty, and stay outta that basement until I get some cleaning service, smoke could be bad for you,"
"You know?" She asked, surprised
"As long as I don't see squat," Red sighed, "I don't have to do anything and I can legally tell the government I didn't know my son was a pothead and an alcoholic,"
Jackie laughed and hugged him.
"Get outta here," He said and she walked away, giggling.
"Dumbasses, the lot of them," Red grumbled.
Derrick Jason
Jackie shook her head as soon as she heard it. Sounded like Eric. Her baby was not going to be an Eric Forman if she had any say.
Now, it was a Friday.
With Red's help, Jackie managed to coax all of the gang up to dinner, where she was cooking a six course meal with Kitty. Kitty had looked excited when Jackie suggested it and hadn't thought anything of it.
They all looked nervous, with Red at the table, smiling as if he knew the world's greatest burn. Jackie had to touch his foot lightly to stop scaring her friends. It wasn't going to help.
"Dumbasses!" Red yelled, deciding to be there for Jackie. He stood up, "Kitty, I'm eating in the kitchen. Let these dumbasses eat in here!" Red walked away with his plate, and Jackie smiled. He could deliver quite a performance.
"I'm going to join your father," Kitty explained to Eric, "Yell when you want the next course. Jackie and I have three more left,"
Eric smiled, "Will do,"
"I like six courses," Fez announced, "It's like three dinners!"
"Thank you, Fez," Jackie said, smiling. She was sitting next to Michael and in front of Steven. Donna was next to Steven, Eric and Fez next to her, each the most cramped of all the kids.
"Um, in fact," Jackie took a deep breath, "I have an announcement,"
"We know your birthday is coming up," Donna said, rolling her eyes.
"Not that," She said softly, before turning to Kelso,
"Michael, I'm very sorry, but I saw you cheating with me on Pam Macy," Jackie said, "That's why I broke up with you last week,"
"Does that mean you'll take me back?" He asked
She shook her head, "You see, I was so mad at you that I decided to get even by sleeping with someone else too,"
"Who?" He asked standing up, mad, rolling up his sleeves.
"That's not the point," Jackie said, rolling her eyes, "Mic-"
"Who is it?" He asked, not listening to her, mad,
"It doesn't matter!" She yelled, "Micheal, I'm-"
"It so matters!" He yelled back at her, "Tell me who and I'll punch his nose,"
Steven snorted at this, and Jackie wisely chose to ignore him.
"No, because it doesn't matter!" She yelled, angry that he wasn't listening
"But-"
"I'm pregnant, Kelso!" She yelled, "And I don't know if it's yours or his!" She walked away, slamming the door, angry.
They were all stunned. Red walked back in with the biggest smirk on his face. He pointed to Kelso, smiling.
"Dumbass!"
Then he pointed to Hyde, who was just as shocked, behind his rose colored glasses, cackling.
"Dumbass!"
He laughed and walked back into the kitchen. No doubt Kitty had heard and was looking for the emergency wine.
"That was a nice burn," Eric said, pointing to where his father had been.
"Double burn," Fez nodded
"Why didn't she tell me first?" Donna asked, frowning, "Why would she sleep with-"
"Who the hell is that other guy?" Kelso asked, breaking the end of Donna's sentence, "He can't sleep with my girl and knock her up! Now she's sloppy seconds,"
Hyde gritted his teeth.
"I slept with Jackie, you moron, if Red's burn wasn't descriptive enough!" Sometimes he wondered about Kelso's intelligence.
"Burn?" Kelso asked, looking at him
He nodded, "Sorry, man,"
"Can I frog you?" He asked
"I'll frog you back," Hyde said softly
"I gotta go. Think about stuff," He sighed, "We used a condom every time," He glanced at Hyde.
"I was really drunk, but I vaguely remember opening one,"
"We're screwed, huh man?" Kelso asked, grinning
"Best friends?" Hyde grinned and shook hands with Kelso.
"I'm going to the water tower," He explained softly. Hyde nodded. The water tower was Kelso's place. He fell off a lot, but he still liked it the most out of everywhere else he'd been.
Kelso left a lot quieter then when he had come. Donna and Eric were looking at their plates in silence while Fez was looking at him.
"Go keep Kelso company," Hyde said to Fez, sighing. Fez nodded and left as well. Hyde knew Fez would cheer him up better then anyone else.
"You hate her," Eric said, looking at him, confusion in his eyes. Donna's eyes mirrored his.
"Opposites attract," Hyde smiled, "Look at you and Donna," He clapped Eric on the shoulder, "I'm going to drive around,"
"Amazing that Red hasn't kicked Hyde out," Donna said, impressed
"This is going to be an interesting nine months," Eric agreed silently with Donna's comment.
Steven Michael.
Michael Steven.
Jackie laughed at that name. It was too stupid. She was walking along the sidewalk when Steven's car drove up.
"Get in!" He yelled, and Jackie knew to obey him right now. He was hurting.
When they had driven up to her driveway neither teenager moved.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked
"Told you all at once," Jackie said, not looking at him, while he looked straight at her, "I didn't know if you wanted to be the center of attention,"
He nodded, "Thanks,"
"Anytime," She said, "And I mean it. I really don't know,"
"I believe you," He said softly. His hand snaked out to her tummy and he rubbed it, trying to imagine a fat Jackie.
"I can't believe any of this happened," Jackie told him softly
He pulled his hand away, "My dad wasn't a great dad," He told her, matching her tone of voice.
"I know, mine isn't exactly getting Dad of the Year, either," Jackie said, missing the surprisingly warm hand.
"Mom left," He added
"Mine too," She looked at him for the first time and smiled, "We're not so different, huh?"
Hyde looked at her, "Even if this kid's a Kelso, Jackie. I'll be there every step of his or her life,"
Jackie smiled and rubbed his cheek, "Growing a beard?" She asked
"Growing a baby?" Steven told her, smiling, "Good night, Jackie,"
"Good night, Steven," She said softly, "And Steven," She looked at him, "I don't want to date or even marry Kel-Michael or anyone else. If you could just-"
"I'll make it clear," He assured her, smiling. He liked it that she called him Steven, but needed to reprimand herself to call Kelso 'Michael'.
Oliver Aaron
Jackie smiled and woke up. The smile was replaced by a look of Oh-god-I'm-going-to-puke. She pulled back her covers and the toilet was her best friend for another day. She wiped her mouth after a pleasant round of vomiting.
Oliver was a nice name, she had to admit. But it wasn't nickname-y enough. No way in hell was anyone calling her kid 'Ollie'. What a dumb nickname. Aaron though. She liked Aaron. Nice and elegant. Perfect for a middle name. Maybe there were too many A's. Or she could pair it up.
Isaac Aaron.
No. Now it was too many double A's. She was closer with Oliver Aaron. The baby sent a fresh stream of puke up her throat, as if agreeing with her.
"Maybe I'll call you Eric, just to spite you," She yelled at her stomach, gaining a glow of pregnancy, thanks to all the sweat. The baby didn't like that, and made her once again, duck her head into the toilet.
"Fine, I'm sorry," She said, "I didn't mean to threaten you," She cradled her still flat tummy. Waiting a few moments, no more bile was coming up.
School was not the funnest thing on Jackie's list before pregnancy and it wasn't now. The doctor advised her to give up cheerleading, though she was head cheerleader. The annoying little twits had demanded a real answer to why she was leaving. They all knew Jackie's grades, because she bragged too much. Her grades were good enough for cheerleading.
Now, people gave her looks, whispers, and just full out stares. Jackie wanted the basement, Kitty's cookies, and Red's hugs more then anything right now.
"Focus," She mumbled
Kyle Benjamin
Jackie twisted a smile. That was one half of her dream boy's name, switched around. Kyle did mean handsome though-she had read it in a book. She didn't want Baby to be handsome though. She wanted Baby to be cute, and sweet, and adorable, and everything that all her boyfriends never were. Kyle would certainly fit a Kelso.
Kyle Kelso.
Jackie laughed at the thought of it.
Kyle Hyde.
That sounded unnatural as well, and Jackie decided that it would be Burkhart. Unless the boys wanted to tack their last names on. Burkhart-Kelso-Hyde was ridiculously long and she hoped they didn't want the long last name.
She had math now, and Jackie tried to pay more attention in math, knowing that she might actually need to use some of this stuff and not her husband, like she had always thought.
That made her wonder if she should tell her parents or let the bump tell them. What if her parents didn't come back until she was skinny again? The longest she'd gone without seeing either of them was five months. So far, it was only one month, and Jackie knew they weren't showing up for surprise visits anytime soon. She hadn't even gotten her postcard yet from either of them.
The last maid was fired by her father, who was at least courteous enough to ask Jackie first. Jackie had agreed with him on the whole thing. The maid was simply hindering their million dollar fortune that Jack Burkhart was almost miserly about. He had made Pam sign a prenup, and made sure it was ironclad. His money was safe and the only person he trusted with an allowance of it was Jackie.
Pam got her money from god knows where and Jack no longer cared. Work was his mistress, Pam his estranged wife he had never bothered to divorce, and Jackie his little daughter stuck in the middle of it all. Jack did care for the little thing, but he care about his money more. Something about money spoke to him of power and he wanted as much power as possible.
Feeling bad, Jack sighed and told his assistant to hire a new cleaner for the house in Point Place. Jackie Burkhart was his daughter, and no Burkhart was going to clean, money be damned.
Jackie smiled. Her father had hired another maid. He did care for her, but money won out most of the time. It was nice to see that he was thinking of her once in a while.
"I am," The maid started
"Don't care," Jackie cut off the frightened woman, "Do whatever. Cleaning stuff is in the cleaning room under the stairs. Clean everywhere except the blue room, third door on the left in the main hallway," She said snobbishly, "I'm not going to inspect anything, but it better be clean enough for the eye glance. I'll leave laundry in my basket every Sunday and Thursday. Your check is on the counter," With that, Jackie left.
Ana was probably thinking that she was a bitch. Then she would open the check and apologize mentally to her new employer.
The old scare em routine was one of her favorites with the help. Worked wonders, as opposed to her mother's half Spanish, half English rants in a bikini, with the help thinking that she was such a slutty bimbo to wear a low cut bikini on a rainy day and drink margaritas when it wasn't even quarter of eight yet.
The next chapter should be posted on either Wednesday or Thursday. It depends on how happy I am.
Oh and reviewers, I decided that since I feel bad for reprimanding you in the above notes, please feel free to write in BOY name suggestions that I might use in later chapters. None of them though, will be the baby's actual name (Unless you, by some stroke of luck pick that name, which I doubt). And as for requests on the baby's paternity...my lips are sealed.