All These Things We Feel

Chapter Three

Freddy

I sunk deeper into my chair. Sulking as I propped my arm up on the windowsill of the car passenger seat and stared brooding out at the blurry scenes outside the window. I placed my large headphones over my ears and started drumming along to the beat of the songs on my knees with my trusty drumsticks. I continued ignoring the other two I supposedly call my "friends" because I had no idea why they wanted to this to themselves, and mostly why they wanted to do this to me! They were crazy and dumb, like I always say.

Yeah I am annoyed - all because it started this morning…

Of course, Zack called Summer again for the millionth time - and somehow in the midst of their daily hour-long conversation, he asked if she wanted to meet up in some diner which "happened" to be halfway between both our school and hers. I'm pretty much guessing it was one of his awkward spur of the moment things, since he was willing to ditch the random gig the three of us had planned to do at the bar down the street tonight – and for what? To see Tink, you have got to be kidding me. I'm also sure that the diner there wasn't just a coincidence – the poor dude probably researched it or some crap like that.

What a loser?

He was talking all trash about how he missed her, and how he missed the times when the gang was all together – he sounded like a soppy movie… or worse. You can guess, Katie heard about it and wanted to go too. And so since the universities have a week's vacation before the end of the semester exams, they happened to just willingly hop into the car and go for a drive that would take hours long. Well, hey I didn't want to be alone for a day or two. Therefore I'm here too, trapped in the car with the two losers who have currently been talking about that girl for more than an hour or so now…

I turned up my music an extra notch to block them out, even if it meant that I couldn't hear Katie's voice to keep me chilled – there's a first for everything after all.

I got a little overexcited at a Travis Barker drum solo that came next and ended up smacking my knee hard against the dashboard of the car. I pulled off the headphones and cursed aloud as I rubbed my knee through my jeans, furrowing my eyebrows in aggravation. It added to my annoyance, when I saw Katie's attention pull away from trying to nurse me better somehow to Zack, as he turned into a dirt road that led to a parking lot. I felt the ground move from smooth tarmac to bumpy gravel.

"Damn…" I mumbled.

"We're here!" Katie and Zack chorused cheerfully, finishing my sentence. They beamed at each other in mutual excitement as Zack took out the keys of the car and shut the engine. After a few seconds the roar of the machine died down and revealed the background noise of classic rock music and talk from inside the diner.

Before I knew it, Katie was already out and running past my car door towards the front of the tacky looking restaurant. Zack was quick to follow; he jumped out and shut the door forcefully behind him, possibly underestimating what damage it would do to the car. He reached Katie on the stairs and he opened the screen door for her before they both ran inside – forgetting me, possibly?

I felt a nerve burst, and inwardly decided that I would refuse to get out of this car and see her. I crossed my arms over my chest and if achievable, sunk yet further still into my seat in the hopes of blending into it and being invisible. Not like I wasn't already.

I let out a restrained grumble as I opened my eyes again and realized that I was still parked in front of the vibrantly coloured diner – with its neon road sign and its 70's dressed waitresses running around inside. I wanted to leave now. My eyes darted over to the scene behind the diner and saw a medium sized fair where a good amount of people were gathered. I almost smiled as I watched the people queuing for rides and playing at stalls for cheesy toy prizes. I heard the laughter and faint distant screams of passengers of the rides.

I remembered once when I won Katie a purple bear at a fair that stopped by in the 8th grade. She liked it a lot, and it made me smile to see the impressed look on her face that I managed to score a few basketballs into the hoops. I'd never known I'd be good at it - but I guess now we do.

When I fell out of the daydream of a memory, my mind wandered to Katie again. My eyes instinctively found her through the window of the diner and followed as she walked down the aisle with a huge smile on her face. A smile that resembled the one of that she had when I gave her that bear. She recognised someone and broke into a half jog, her hair trailed in straight lines behind her. I looked over just in time to see Summer stand up from her seat and hug Katie in excitement.

They laughed a while, and I wondered again why Katie had never really laughed like that with me, even when I tried to tell her something funny. Ever since we moved to university I've tried harder still, but she laughs with Summer and with other guys, her roomate – but never with me. Not like that. My lips became a straight unmoving line.

Speaking of which, I tried to put my finger on something different about Summer but I couldn't really tell. I leaned forwards to the edge of the seat, and clasped onto the dashboard for support, as I narrowed my eyes to slits at the scene in front of me through the translucent windows.

Katie said something inaudible to me, and Summer laughed in response, making me regret not being there and missing whatever she just had to say. I found myself thinking that her smile… almost looked a lot like Katie's - when I saw her for the first time and realized that she was the girl I had wanted all along. Wait... what? My mouth gaped open in horror, and I restrained immensely from smashing my head onto the dashboard to hurt myself - badly. What was I just thinking? No freaking way…

Katie was Katie, and no one would be alike to her. Changing my mood back into bitterness. Summer had nothing on her! Sure they both had the long, brown hair and the smiles, and the shimmering eyes… Man, being alone was taking its toll on me. Like I said before, I cared nothing for Summer.

That's the difference they both had, it was that I loved Katie Brown and… that I hated Summer Hathaway.

I didn't know why, but I did.

She stole everyone that I cared about, without even trying. She makes me have to try and be seen when I can't be seen anymore. That's the way it is, and I hated it.

We were from two different worlds. I don't see her anyway, and she doesn't see me either.

Summer

I pulled away from Katie's second embrace and found myself loosing that long lonely feeling that I've had for the past few months. It just drained away with my laughter as Katie tried to bombard me with rambling sentences on how she missed me so much. Her hands were clasped onto my upper arms tightly, as if scared to let me go and it made me smile more. I missed this feeling.

I felt my eyes expand when I saw another figure I felt that I've missed dearly. My mouth stretched into a wider grin as I noticed Zack half-hiding behind Katie in his usual shy manner. It was so like him to give way to other people before putting himself first. I noticed Katie recall that he was there too, and she leapt back, whilst pushing him towards me in the process. She flicked her long, straight coffee coloured hair and smirked as she slid into a nearby seat, immediately beginning to eye up a potential good looking guy on a close table.

"Hey Zack!" I managed to utter, before being pulled into a tight hug. He was taller than I last remembered; it was like he towered over me now as I tried to wrap my arms around his slender neck, so I tiptoed to make it a little easier.

"Summer, I've missed you so much!" He replied whilst breathing into my hair, refusing to let me go so quickly, and I admitted that for the first in a long time – I felt warm again.

"We call each other every day!" I stated in a matter-of-fact sort of manner, trying to make a joke to lighten his deep thought mood.

"But it's not the same as being with you like this."

I felt a little taken aback though I had been so used to these kinds of comments from him, but also instantly felt the lack of butterflies in my stomach. My smile half subsided as time slowed down to seconds becoming hours. My stupid mind began lingering to the one person I knew I missed more than I missed these two put together - which really was stupid because he wasn't here. And because I knew he didn't see me like the way I saw him… ironic? And stupid.

As Zack suddenly shocked me back into a fall into reality by pulling away and holding me at an arm's length like Katie had done previously, I knew he was staring at my face. I tried to hide whatever was currently on it, with a weak smile that I felt I could conjure. I found my own gaze travelling to the front door as I heard the bell above it twinkle and I attempted to peer around Zack without seeming too rude.

My eyebrows cocked up, in both curiosity and amazement as I saw him enter the through the glass door, like my stupid wishes had finally been granted. Was the word stupid beginning to sound weird? I suddenly felt that butterfly feeling I had been hoping to experience, but it came alongside a sense of guilt.

Here I was with more than I deserved, and I still wanted more. I thought myself of selfish, and couldn't help but jut out my lips slightly in annoyance with myself, forgetting about the smile that brightened my features.

That aside, was it just me or did time really slow down for this one moment? Was that how the universe really worked?

I observed Freddy as he stopped to look around the diner in his unimpressed typical way, it was like time itself had left him unscathed, because he hadn't changed one bit.

He brushed a confident hand through his tousled hair, which still looked good even when left messy, before he occupied himself by placing a hand in each pocket of his jeans – one of which was taken by a pair of drumsticks. He stood tall, but not taller than Zack, and his body was hunching forward a little which meant he was brooding over something.

I tore my eyes away from his stature and met Zack's gaze finally. He smiled shyly as I did so, and time seemed to regularize itself again for his sake. He slid into the seat opposite Katie and leaving me standing in the middle of the busy aisle in Freddy's full view. His face was emotionless, but his stare was on me nevertheless – in thought. I didn't want to know about what.

He obviously saw me standing there, not knowing what to do, so before I tore my shirt by pulling at a loose seam to try and distract myself. I avoided eye contact and turned away from him, prior to taking the seat beside Katie. Keeping my hair down, and knowing that my hair covered most of my face, so I could hide a little.

As soon as I sat down, thankfully, Katie was set off into talking about her university experience so far – about her roommate, the studying and everything about it. She grabbed my right wrist with both her hands as she spoke, almost like she was afraid I would leave if she didn't have me strapped down. I listened intently, and propped my chin onto the palm of my free hand and quickly lost awareness of my surroundings.

That was, until Freddy Jones suddenly reappeared into my view and as if to torture me, sat in the only vacant seat – opposite me. Katie carried on talking, and I listened, but now I had a distraction. My eyes kept darting from his face to the table and back again. I straightened up expecting a greeting or an acknowledgement of presence at the least, but Freddy merely slumped into his seat and didn't even look in my personal direction.

It's like he doesn't even see me…

I bit my lip, and realized that even after months of being away from each other. Everything was going to be the same. I was so close to kicking him underneath the table just to get a glance and a little bit of attention from that tiny brain of his.

This is what I meant by selfish – I already had Zack and Katie's attention. But the one person that didn't see me at all, was the person who I wanted to see me the most. And I wanted it badly, I even wished for it a few times whilst driving here. To him I was mostly invisible, but I saw him everywhere. Did that sound creepy?

I sat back into my seat a little too forcefully and felt my hair ripple over my shoulders in the swift movement. I kept my hands invisible from my company and clenched them tightly by my sides, as I blinked for a long moment. I wished one last time that he was would just see me for a moment, even if it was just for today… I knew I sounded sad, but my heart couldn't take having year's worth of feelings come crashing down again and getting nothing in return.

"Uh, Tink? Are you alright?" I recognised the voice, though my eyes were shut tight. I opened them instantly in quick disbelief, and saw Freddy leaning over the table, staring at me curiously. It was deep and meaningful, something I never expected to hear from Freddy's mouth directed towards me. I felt even more guilty, because now the universe was giving me my wish, and I didn't know what to do with it exactly.

I felt myself fluster before I could give a decent answer, "Oh yeah. I was just… happy to see you guys." Happy to finally see you? I thought to myself.

I saw Zack smile to himself, possibly a little proud of setting this trip up for the four of us, feeling that pride of doing something remotely awesome for us. Katie stopped talking for a minute upon hearing what I had just said, and her smile matched Zack's. Sometimes I felt like she acted more of a big sister to me than anything else, with her knowing way. The way she just happened to know how my mind worked and what I was thinking, or what I needed.

I watched for Freddy's reaction, but he just nodded, a little blank faced and sat back into his seat just as I leant forward a little – still leaving a space between us.

The waitress came over, just before our moment of mutual silence could continue. Freddy and Katie ordered a beer each, whilst Zack and I ordered coffees, aware of having to drive our separate ways later that night. Hours worth coming here?

"Cheers!" Zack said in a positive mood once the drinks came a few minutes later, "Let's enjoy this while it lasts!"

He lifted up his mug to the centre of the table and the first to join was Katie, of course, and I heard the clinking of their glasses. I laughed half minded, and lifted my mug into the midair.

"Cheers." I repeated and toasted to the other glasses.

"Hey Freddy! Look there's a fair over there!" Katie chimed, interjecting the moment again, whilst putting down her already empty beer bottle and pointing a slim finger out the window towards the general area. It was beginning to get a little darker, and as the dusk grew closer, the fair slowly began to turn on their bright lights and loud cheesy music. It looked like plenty of people were attracted to it. Apparently, most of the daylight was spent actually driving over to this place than I thought...

Freddy chugged down the rest of his drink, all the while, for some reason keeping his gaze on me. I pretended not to notice and instead, looked down at the swirling foam in my steamy mug. He wiped his thumb across his bottom lip to remove any traces of his drink, and still wouldn't stop looking at me. I was beginning to feel nervous.

"What do you say guys? One last night together when we can all have a good time?" Zack added, probing us all though it didn't take that much convincing.

"Yeah! I'm in!" Katie responded, punching her fist into the air and then nudging me to join. But I found myself looking around for a third opinion once again before I felt ready to decide on my own.

"Come on, Tink. What do you say?" Freddy mumbled, shrugging carelessly, "I bet you didn't know that I'm pretty good at shooting some hoops."

A/N : Sorry for the absence guys! I've got so many GCSE exams coming up it's so difficult to fit time in between studying. But hopefully this chapter can suffice for now. By the way, just a little spoiler - or not? There is a part 2 to this chapter, where they kinda do hang out at a fair for a little while. So it doesn't just end here. I do promise more action between Freddy and Summer, but I can't just dive into it... So yeah. & I'm also working on transitions because I know that kinda sucks. Be patient! I'll update when I next can.

Thank you to all who have reviewed, alerted, favorited. This is for you guys, and specially; Corona And Lime, and rrainyddaze. Thanks for those reviews. XD

-fallen11angel