"Dysfunctional Family Feud"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.

Chapter 4

Justin was now approaching the Playa De Losers gym in which he could see a muscular woman with a black ponytail and a purplish-blue outfit just lifting weights and doing pushups. To the Eye Candy, this could either be dangerous or a harness to safety.

"Okay, I'm gonna regret doing this, but here it comes..." Justin gulped a bit to himself as he opened the door real slowly.

This place must've been like a weightlifters heaven of some sort. Nothing but Bowflexes, Thigh masters and perhaps some of the biggest barbells Justin had ever seen. Heck those things could be thrown hard enough to kill a single weakling in his way if someone were to snap like a twig. At least Justin was as lean and strong like a stallion. His head wandered everywhere inside the gym until his eyes locked right on Eva herself. She was busy polishing the barbells.

Justin took this to hand and started undressing his shirt right off his body, hoping that his fading powers can at least work on Eva one bit. He then approached her with the greatest of ease.

"Hey, Eva. Glad to see you're still looking mighty beautiful as ever." Justin smiled right onto her. When Eva was looking right at him, she looked a bit angry at him, knowing that she wasn't going to be fooled by Justin's hotness anymore.

"Save your stupid girlyman powers for somebody else. Maybe try Owen. He still cares." Eva said a bit sarcastically to Justin, who just fumed a bit in anger deep inside. he knew it was hopeless that his mystical charm no longer worked on Eva. It did once on the Total Drama special, but now, not so much. The only girl who was still effected by his powers was Beth, and yet she still doesn't know that Justin was still using her as a pawn. After all, he only cared about his looks and nothing else.

"Eva, the only reason I'm here is because I want to ask you for help." Justin replied once more as Eva began to sit down and focused her eyes only on the bar and not the Eye Candy himself.

"Yeah, I can help you to get far away from me as possible." Eva said with a gritting of her teeth as her hands was right on the bar.

"Look, that's not really the point here. The reason I'm here is for a favor." Justin explained while Eva started to lift the bar.

And then one-by-one, Eva started to lift the bar furiously up and down while Justin continued talking to her, much to Eva's irritation.

"Look, I know you didn't know this, but my car got heavily damaged by a football. But get this, the football crashed into my windshield and shards of glass got right into my seats. So, now I cant drive with a windshield-less car. It cost $15,000 to fix. It's very rare and it shows my perfect image whenever I drive!" Justin said as he kept on talking, "Sure I can't see myself on the daytime, but in the nighttime, my image just smiles at me."

"So, what's... your... fricking point?" Eva said between each lift of the strengthened bar. Knowing that she felt a little irritated, she finally stopped lifting the bar and went to the mini cabinet in which she was preparing some sort of fitness shake. Justin just decided to blare out his whole plan to her.

"Eva, will you be on a game show with me?" Justin replied as Eva grabbed a case of strawberries, bananas, and what seems to be a case of dried spinach.

"That depends. What is it, Fear Factor? Wipeout? Because if it's some sort of couples edition, I'll pass." Eva replied as she put the strawberry, bananas and a couple of leaves of spinach and just shredded them out one by one. The shredding lasted a good several seconds as she kept talking, "But I'd be a master at Total Blackout. I can handle anything that crawls in the dark. One sight at that bastard and he's stomped like a frickin' fireant! But enough about me, what's this game show you'd be wanting me to enter?"

As soon as Eva started pouring down the whole entire cup of fruity goodness, Justin decided to let it out entirely.

"I hope this doesn't upset you Eva, but it's..." Justin said with a gulp as Eva started to drink her shake, "...Family Feud."

Hearing Justin's answer, Eva somehow spit her drink out. She soon put the cup down and in a matter of minutes, she turned to Justin...

...and just lifted him up in the air with the fabric of his shirt. She didn't look very pleased with what Justin offered her.

"Family Feud? Is this a sick joke? You want me to compete in some hippy-dippy game show like frickin' Family Feud?" Eva reacted angrily as her grip somehow gotten stronger. "What kind of sick joke you're playing on me?"

"It's not a joke! It's a favor!" Justin said as he could feel himself choking through Eva's strong grip. "And you're crushing my perfect neck! I need my neck to look smooth!"

"Well, looks like I'll make your neck bruised and battered!" Eva exclaimed as she somehow pushed Justin right into a seat as the rage-a-holic sat on his ribs. In addition, Eva saw the bar she was lifting and grabbed it, just so she could feel the bar about to close in on Justin's neck,
"Now talk! What's this stupid plan of yours!"

Knowing that Justin didn't want to be choked by a weightlifting bar soon enough, Justin wen't fast.

"Okay okay, uh... I got a broken $15,000 windshield and if we go on Family Feud and win, we get $20,000 and I get myself a new windshield! I already got Owen on board as my younger brother and now I need someone to pose as if I had some sort of daughter! I'm making up a family, you see?" Justin exclaimed in panic.

"You'll have to do better than that!" Eva exclaimed angrily as the bar almost became inches away from choking, no, killing the life out of Justin.

"Okay, uh uh... I'll carry all your stuff for a week and I can even make you my slave! Just don't hurt me and my precious neck! It's so tender as a flank steak." Justin said, just crying for his life like a girl.

With those words, Eva stopped herself and put the bar right back, much to Justin's god-forsaken safety.

"You'll carry all my stuff? Even if it's dumbells, weights and my protein shakes?" Eva said with her hands crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, anything! Anything! Just get off my ribs, it's defenseless and fragile like my life is!" Justin said as if he pleaded for mercy. Hearing his mercy, Eva finally got off of him, much to his nightmarish luck.

"Well, you caught me in such a good mood as of now, I'll be on that show for you. But you keep the promise you gave to me, we got a deal." Eva said, sounding a little upset, but followed Justin's plan real nicely.

"Oh yes, yes! Anything to keep my beautiful body intact for another day!" Justin exclaimed with happiness as he finally left the gym, but not without turning to Eva. "Oh, and I'll keep the promise!"

"Whoop-de-frickin'-do..." Eva said with a rolling of her eyes as she got back to her weightlifting, "Now could you please leave? I got barbells to crush and weights to rack."

"Do what your heart desires, I guess." Justin said with a safe sigh as he finally left the sight of the gym, but turned back once more to finally face Eva, "Um, Eva... you wouldn't be objected to wear a wig wouldn't you?"

Hearing this, Eva suddenly threw a barbell right over Justin in which it hit the wall, just meters of missing him. Good thing he ducked just in time.

"Or maybe the ponytail you have would work..." Justin muttered nervously as he finally left her sight once and all. Heck, maybe for today as well, "Man, I'm gonna have a angry pissant as my daughter..."

Now that Owen and Eva are suddenly on board, who will Justin find next to recruit for his made-up family?

The next chapter will be something else! Until then, read and review, science bitches! BA-FRICKIN-ZINGA!