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Sam was boiling with anger, he shook slightly as he tried to keep calm. It took all his self control not to start yelling and screaming but he knew he couldn't do that in front of Ben. It wasn't the kid's fault his dad was an asshole. He couldn't believe Dean had kept something this huge from him. He knew he didn't have the right to know everything about Dean but this affected both of them.

He realised why the fridge was full of healthy food and the house was clean. Dean was avoiding his eyes, clearly not knowing what to say. Ben was looking between the two confused, not knowing what was wrong but sensing the awkward atmosphere. Sam needed to be alone with Dean but he couldn't just leave Ben in the lounge room. Sam smiled at Ben and knelt down on the floor in front of him.

"Are you hungry Ben?"

Ben nodded and looked at him shyly.

"Well me and your daddy are gonna make you something to eat. How does a ham sandwich sound?"

Ben nodded again and Dean dropped the pillow and duffle bag on the couch. He followed Sam into the kitchen without a word. Sam headed straight to the fridge and yanked the door open so roughly the entire thing shook. He pulled out a loaf of bread, butter and a packet of ham. When he picked up a knife from the sink Dean stepped back suddenly.

"Sammy."

"Don't call me that!" Sam hissed, careful not let Ben hear.

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered and Sam almost believed him.

"For what? Not telling me you're a dad? Or getting caught?"

Sam could hardly breath, his chest was constricted in hurt. He couldn't believe Dean had kept something so huge from him. He had trusted Dean. He was naïve, he knew Dean had secrets, that didn't bother him but he thought Dean would have had the decency to tell him he had a kid. "Were you ever going to tell me? I told you everything! I told about my mum!" He buttered the bread quickly and tore open the ham packet.

"I was going to tell you. I just didn't know how! I didn't plan this Sam, you were a one night stand! How was I supposed to know I'd fall in love with you? How do I explain this to my ex-wife, let alone a five year old boy?" Dean hissed, desperately trying to explain.

Sam didn't want to hear it though and felt tears building, wiping away a few that escaped. "Why do you have no pictures of Ben? He's not some dirty little secret." Dean shuffled and looked away, guilt written clearly across his face and Sam understood. "You have pictures of him, but you hide them when I'm here. I'm the dirty secret."

"No Sam you're not. I swear, I swear on my son's life."

"How can I trust anything you say? I gave you everything!"

Dean moved forward to touch him but Sam jumped away, an action that tore at Dean's heart like a knife. To his horror, he knew he was close to crying and he quickly wiped his eyes so Sam wouldn't see. He really had fucked up, one of the best things that every happened to him and might have lost his for good. "Please don't leave Sam, let me give his dinner and then we can talk."

"No, you need to spend time with your son. Give me a call when you take him home and we'll talk."

"Are gonna break up with me Sam?" Dean asked, voice shaking at the thought.

"I don't know." Sam whispered, walking out the house before Dean could answer and leaving him alone in the kitchen, staring at the empty space where Sam had been.

"Daddy? Where's my sandwich?" Ben asked softly, pulling on his shirt.

Dean shook himself and turned his attention to Ben. He didn't have time for the self pity. Sam was right, he hadn't seen his son in weeks and Ben was his responsibility which meant he would have to try and mend things with Sam later.

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Sam made it to the end of the street before he realised he had no where to go. He was too far from home to walk and even if he wasn't, he was a mess. His dad couldn't see him like this, too many questions would be asked, questions he couldn't answer. Normally he would call Dean, but that option was closed to him. Tears were flowing freely down his face and his heart felt like it had been ripped out. He'd never understood why people called it a broke heart until then. I have no one. How did this happen? When did my life get so fucking complicated?

Sam realised he only had one person left. Alex answered quickly and reassured Sam he'd be there in thirty minutes. When he saw Alex's blue Land Rover come around the corner he'd never been so relieved in his life. It was freezing and he sighed as he got into the car, warmth from the heater spreading through him like being covered in a warm blanket.

"What happened Sam?" Alex asked after a moment of silence.

Sam leaned against the window and watched as his breath fogged up the glass. "You were right." he whispered. His voice was hoarse from crying but mostly he felt empty inside, which scared him more than the heart break. "I thought I knew him, I was wrong."

"You're staying at my house tonight."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, although he desperately didn't want to go home and face his dad.

"Positive. Mum's doing a overnight shift and dad's on a business trip. We'll have the house to ourselves and you can tell me what happened."

Sam smiled at Alex softly and turned over in his seat, leaning his head against Alex's shoulder. "Is this the part where you say 'I told you so?'"

"No. I never wanted to be right Sammy."

"Don't call me that. He calls me that."

"Sorry."

The rest of the ride was silent and by the time they pulled into the driveway, Sam was falling asleep. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was curl up and forget the rest of the world existed, but he couldn't. He owed Alex a apology and explanation. He shivered as he got out the car and wished his uniform was a bit warmer.

Thankfully, Alex had left the heater on when he'd left so the house was nice and warm. Sam sat on the couch while Alex pottered around like a mother hen. He left Sam alone for five minutes and came back with a clean set of pyjamas and two cups of hot chocolate.

"I called your dad and told him you were staying the night."

"What did he say?" Sam wondered, feeling guilty for not telling his dad where he was going.

"He was worried until I told him I'd just broken up with my boyfriend and you were comforting me."

"Thank you. For everything."

"Don't mention it." Alex smiled handing Sam the pyjamas and setting the mugs on the coffee table.

"No really, I was an ass today. You were trying to help me and I threw it in your face."

Sam slipped out of his uniform with a sigh and pulled on the pants and shirt cover in baby cows. Looking at the print the realised he must look like a child, which was exactly what he felt like.

"What happened Sam? What did he do?"

"I went over to his place, after our argument. He wasn't home, but he'd given me a key so I went inside to wait for him." Sam felt his tears return as he spoke. " When he came back, he had this little boy with him. His son."

"Holy shit." Alex whispered, eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

"I know. He's a dad!"

"What are you gonna do?"

Sam picked up his mug and warmed his hands, staring at the swirling chocolate. "I don't know. I still love him and I can forgive him for not telling me about Ben. That's his name; Ben. He looks like Dean. But I'm not ready to be dad. I knew the age difference between me and Dean from the start, but seeing him today with Ben. I had never felt more like child. I think it's finally hitting me. Dean is a adult, with adult responsibilities and I'm a kid. "

Sam blinked a few tears away, took a sip of chocolate and tucked his legs underneath him on the couch, while Alex copied his movement at the other end of the couch.

"What would you do?"

Alex took a moment and bit his lip, looking at Sam sympathetically. "If I were you, I'd delete him from my phone, avoid the garage and never see him again. But you're not me Sam. I forgot that today and I shouldn't have said the things I did. I think you should talk to Dean."

"Why?"

"Because I know you. If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened. Do you love Dean?"

"Yes."

"And does Dean love you?"

Sam hesitated before shaking his head, "I don't know."

"Yes you do. Deep down, you know. You know the same way I knew all those men didn't really love me. Does Dean love you?" Alex pushed.

This time Sam answered with hesitation. "Yes."

"And do you think you could have a future with him? A family?"

"Yes."

"Then don't throw away what you have. I know you think you're too young to be dad but you don't have to be. Dean is Ben's dad, he doesn't need a another one. But you could be his friend. Take him to the park, give him ice-cream for dinner. The extra cookie when Dean says no."

Sam smiled at Alex and realised he was right. Dean meant too much to him to just give up and he was sure in time Ben would come to mean just as much to him. His relationship with Dean was becoming more and more complicated then he had ever anticipated but what they had was worth it. The age difference was also rapidly presenting problems as Sam was a little shaken up at the rude reality check he'd had early but he could deal with that as well.

"You're right. Thank you so much Alex."

"Not a problem. You look worn out, wanna go to bed?"

Sam nodded, just the mention of sleep was making his eyes droop. He was thankful that Alex had a double bed, he really didn't want to sleep alone. Alex pulled the blanket down and Sam slipped in beside him, burrowing down into the warmth. Alex turned onto his side and Sam shifted in behind him, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist.

"Sam?"

"I don't wanna be alone tonight." Sam mumbled into the back of Alex's neck. All the crying had made him feel surprisingly vulnerable.

Alex didn't answer but held Sam's hand. Just before Sam drifted off to sleep he couldn't help but wish it was Dean he was holding and not Alex.

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It was three days before Dean called him. Ben had gone back to his mother's and Dean wanted to talk. Sam was so desperate to see Dean he ditched school and headed straight over. When Dean let him in, Dean stood there and shuffled his feet, obviously waiting for Sam to start yelling.

"Well?" Dean muttered.

"What?" Just because Sam forgave him, didn't mean he couldn't let him suffer a bit.

"Are you leaving me? Please Sam, I need to know."

"Sammy."

"What?"

"You can call me Sammy."

"Does this mean you're not breaking up with me?" Dean asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"That's exactly what it means."

Sam knew they had a lot to talk about but at that moment all he wanted to do was kiss Dean. Stepping forward he captured Dean's lips with his own and kissed him deeply. It was a soft kiss, full of promises and apologies.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't now how and the longer I kept it a secret the harder it got." Dean mumbled, pulling away.

"I know. I understand why you did it Dean, but if I'm to trust you, this can never happen again. I don't need to know everything about you, because we all deserve our secrets but I need to know that things that matter."

"I know! Know that, and I promise from now on, no more secrets." Dean promised, holding Sam's face in his hand gently, he leant down and caught Sam in a kiss, however unlike earlier, this kiss was hard and rough, full of passion and possession. Clashing teeth and deep moans.

"Fuck I've missed this." Sam whimpered as he pulled away breathless, "And do you know one of the things I've missed doing most?" He whispered against Dean's ear.

Before he could answer, Sam had already dropped to his knees and tugged on Dean's belt playfully.

"Fuck Sammy" Dean growled and moved his hands down to unbuckle his belt, only to have them slapped away.

"I want to do it." Sam explained at Dean's questioning look.

Dean smirked and raised his hands in surrender. Sam shifted slightly until he was comfortable and began to rub his hands sensually up and down Dean's thighs, scratching gently on the fabric. His hands reached the top of his pants and rubbed along the edge, his fingers dipping in under the waistline.

The coarse trail of hair that led from Dean's navel and disappeared down his pants fascinated Sam and leaning up he licked a stripe from pant line to bellybutton. Just as he returned to Dean's belt, he was yanked up roughly and shoved against the wall. Before he could protest, Dean attacked his neck and ground their hips together, causing him to see stars.

"You can do that later, right now all I want is to be balls deep inside your tight ass." Dean growled, biting Sam's bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Yes, god yes! Take me!" Sam whimpered, arching up against Dean, body crying out for friction.

Squeezing Sam's hip just a little too tight, his other hand hovered near Sam's mouth, "Open and suck." he grunted.

Sam opened his mouth and greedily sucked in three fingers, coating them in as much saliva as he could, knowing exactly what they would be used for. Dean moaned as the warm heat of Sam's mouth enveloped his fingers.

"You're so good with your mouth baby, you were born to do this."

Pulling the fingers out, Dean nearly shot his load when Sam made the most obscene slurping noise and a line of saliva joined his fingers to Sam's mouth. Spinning Sam around he shoved him once more into the wall, this time face first. He roughly ripped Sam's pants off, oddly satisfied to hear the button pop off and hit the floor. Sam screeched when he felt two slicked fingers roughly pushed inside him, followed by a moan from Dean.

"You're so tight." he grunted, harshly preparing Sam.

"You always say that." Sam managed to gasp out as Dean stroked inside him, causing shoots of pleasure to zip up his spine and cock.

Sam whimpered when Dean ceased his movements and his fingers stood stationary inside him, causing him to clench and unclench around Dean's fingers encouraging him to move. Dean continued to keep his fingers still and had to contain a gasp as the tight heat constricted around him.

"Please Dean, please." Sam whined.

"What do you want?" Dean murmured, softly caressing Sam's ass.

"Please, inside me."

"I am inside you." Dean teased, twisting his fingers.

"Dean put you cock inside me now!" Sam demanded, pushing back and impaling himself on the fingers. He was too horny to play games.

"Demanding little brat!" Dean chuckled, slapping Sam's ass sharply and earning himself a yelp.

"Please, please, please." he whispered, pressing his face against the cold wall, trying to cool his feverish skin.

"In the bedroom. I don't think I can stand up much longer." Dean growled, pushing Sam towards the bedroom.

Sam obeyed quickly and hurried to the bedroom, Dean following behind him, holding onto his waist. As soon as they made it through the bedroom door, Dean pushed him onto the bed.

"Are you ready?" Dean muttered, coating his cock in lube. He hadn't prepared Sam as well as he usually liked too so he used extra lube to be careful.

"Dean, please! I need you so much!" Sam whimpered, wrapped a leg around Dean's waist. "Oh fuck!" he screeched, arching his back almost painfully when Dean entered him in one thrust.

"Are you ok Sammy?"

"Oh fuck yes!" Sam yelled when Dean hit his prostate head on, "There, there, there, oh fuck yes there!"

Dean smirked as Sam withered against him and he griped Sam's hips painfully tight in order to keep him still enough so he could hit his prostate dead on.

"Please Dean, I'm gonna cum." Sam begged, hissing through his teeth.

"Cum baby, cum for me." Dean encouraged, speeding up his thrusts.

Sam pushed back into Dean, sending his cock deeper then Sam had thought possible.

"So close, so close." he murmured, feeling the pleasure coil in his stomach, "Almost, almost, oh fuck, DEAN!" Sam screamed, coming harder then he had done in a long time.

His cum splattered in between them, powerful waves of pleasure shooting throughout his body and his muscles tightened clenched around Dean's cock. Slowly the pleasure receded and Sam slumped exhausted on the mattress, head resting on the pillow.

Dean continued to impale Sam on his cock, the tightness slightly less as every muscle in Sam's body was jelly after the power of his orgasm. Sam moaned quietly as Dean continued to thrust into his abused hole.

"I'm gonna fill you up, I'm gonna empty my cum son far into your ass you'll taste it." Dean panted into Sam's ear, causing him to release a tired moan.

Dean could feel his balls begin to tighten and sped up his thrusts, enjoying the sound of his balls slapping against Sam's ass followed by Sam's half aroused whimpers.

"Fill me Dean, fill me, make me yours." Sam murmured, pushing Dean over the edge and with a roar he emptied himself into his lover.

Sam hummed as Dean's cum filled his ass, warmth spreading through his body and he squeezed his ass griping Dean's cock and milking every last drop. With a grunt Dean dropped his head onto Sam's shoulder, smirking when he slowly pulled out and Sam whined at the loss. Dean chuckled and his cock gave a half hearted twitch before settling softly in between his thighs. Sam sigh happily and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, nuzzling into his cheek.

"I meant what I said. I'll never keep something like this from you again." Dean mumbled, eyes drooping in exhaustion.

"I know."

"So are we good?"

"The best."

"How are you dealing with me being a dad.?" Dean asked, almost afraid of the answer. As much as he loved Sam, Ben came first.

"A little freaked out. But I'm dealing with it and when you're ready, I would very much like to meet him." Sam admitted softly.

"I'd like you to meet him. I think you'd get along, you two are the biggest geeks I've ever met."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I stopped being able to answer his questions when he turned five. I don't know where he gets it from."

"You're smarter then you pretend to be. But Dean, I'm not ready to be a dad. Maybe I could be Uncle Sammy?"

"Uncle Sammy. I like that. I think it's perfect."

Sam smiled and Dean smiled back. Sam shifted so he balanced on his elbows and kissed Dean softly, enjoying the press of lips and the sense of love he got whenever they kissed like this.

"Hey Dean?"

"Mmmm?" Dean hummed as he tried to follow Sam's lips.

"You know I love it when we have sex right?"

"Yes. You tell me after every time." Dean teased.

"Well do you think…..maybe one day….we could try something different?"

Dean perked up and looked at Sam's curiously. "What did you have in mind? Role play? Spanking? I'm for anything."

"I wanna be on top."

"What, like riding me?"

"No, like….I fuck you." Sam said, blush spreading across his cheeks. He'd been thinking about it for weeks, but he'd only just found the courage to mention it. Dean sat back and stared at him in shock. Sam felt worry gnawing at his stomach, maybe that was the one thing Dean wasn't wiling to do in bed. "It's ok, don't worry about it!"

"Ok."

"What?"

"Ok. If that's something you want to do, ok."

"I don't want to do it if you don't want to! It's okay if you're not comfortable with doing that." Sam assured him, feeling horrible for even bringing it up.

"No, I want to. It's just…I've never been the one on the …receiving end."

"I'll make it good for you, like you did for me." Sam promised, stroking Dean's face.

"I know you will."

"Lets not do it today though. I want to make it special."

"Ok."

Sam drifted off to sleep while Dean was still on top of him. Since their argument he hadn't been sleeping well and the temptation was too much. He didn't care that is was barely nine o'clock in the morning, Dean was here with him and everything was the way it should be.

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There's chapter 4. remember to REVIEW