Seeking Redemption

Chapter 3

Edward's POV

As I looked around the room at my family, all waiting for me to give them word of their arrival, I took in their faces. They were all still as stone, no breathing or fidgeting, no emotions given away on their beautiful faces. All except one that is. Bella, My Bella, My love. She never did fall in the usual categories, never having normal reactions.

Here she sat, next to me in all her vampire glory, by my side for eternity. Visible anxious.

My life as a vampire was the same, day in and day out until this beautiful girl wandered into our biology class and into my world. At the time I was horrified, now I'm eternally grateful. Since that day our lives have been a rollercoaster all over the place. We have endured first love, first heartbreak, wolf crushes, newborn armies, a wedding, an awful pregnancy, and now have a beautiful daughter. I would not change a thing no matter how hard it was at the time because it brought me the two most precious gifts any one could ever ask for, eternity with my love, Bella, and a daughter I never thought a possibility. But for the first time I was worried if my family could make it intact through this. Not because some enemy would come and rip us apart, but because we may rip ourselves apart. This was far scarier than an outside enemy. We have always stood united but I feared this would be what divided us. If the last few days were any indication, it just might.

As I was diligently pumping Bella's heart to manually spread the venom after I kicked Jacob out for losing faith, in a manner of seconds all of our lives were shook up again.

I was completely focused on what I was doing, while pleading with any God that would listen to please let me keep my love, when I heard Jacob's thoughts. At first they were just memories flooding in and out so quick it became confusing and I almost tuned him out. Before I could his mind went blank and all I got was the thought of anger. Then all hell broke loose. The only thing I could get from Jacob's mind was launch, shoulder, roll, and throw. Rose was all over the place cussing and screeching. I was so caught up in Jacobs head and debating if it was safe to leave Bella, the few seconds that this all went down in passed. I was too worried about my first priority, which is Bella that I hesitated too long. As I came to a decision to move, Jacob's mind focused on getting to Renesmee. He jumped over the couch and I ran. I reached the bottom of the stairs right when their eyes met. It was the strangest most infuriatingly beautiful thing I have bear witness to besides my wife.

I stood there dumbfounded as I experienced them imprinting right along with them. It was different for each. Jacob's experience was so intense, so consuming, so life altering. He was euphoric just looking in her eyes. So grateful just to be in her presence. Willing to give up everything just to make her happy. One thing they did have in common through the experience was how loving it was. The love they shared through their stare was the purest love I have ever seen in any one's mind that has walked this Earth. Pure because there was no lust, no attraction, no expectations. Simply the desire to be a part of the whole they now made up together and to see the others happiness.

Renesmee didn't understand these things going through her head. How could she? But I recognized those thoughts from my own experiences as well as having been reading her mind from the womb. She had similar thoughts when she would hear Bella or I talk and I knew she loved us then, just as I knew she loved him now. I knew then, Jacob is her true mate. I may not like it, but that does not change the validity of the statement.

Now here we are. Waiting the arrival of the complete wolf pack. Yes. All of them. Carlisle agreed to a meeting with them to discuss the now volatile situation. I was wary as I thought that the discord in our home could not offer any consolation to the situation. The varying degrees of the feelings had me completely disoriented. I could only imagine what Jasper was dealing with.

As I pondered this further I quirked an eye at Jasper only to find him frowning in concentration, pushing calm throughout the room, chanting the same in mind. That's when I heard the familiar voice in my head. Jacob. Screaming my name as they approached. I informed the family aloud as Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and I went to the porch to greet them. Rosalie took Renesmee and headed upstairs to the third floor. They would not be attending this meeting, Rosalie being too volatile still and Renesmee not needing to be there if things went unfavorably.

They approached, six in wolf form and Jacob and Sam in human form.

I listened to their thoughts to understand the motives behind their actions. They wanted to first even the numbers as a show of faith, leaving Collin and Brady in La Push. As well as 6 coming phased showing that they could defend if we chose to attack.

Carlisle spoke first "Good afternoon Gentleman. Thank you for coming. We planned on meeting in our living room so if you don't mind……." Out loud, then added "Edward are there any ill intentions from any?" to me.

I had been reading their thoughts since they first approached. Some were nervous having not been around us in a while but more so about entering our house. I noted that they were all under Alpha orders to not attack for any reason other than us attacking first. Which would not happen as Carlisle asked us to agree to the same. He is not our "Alpha" or anything but we all respect him as our father and mentor and will do as he asks. I shook my head in answer to Carlisle's question. About this time Sam caught on to what Carlisle meant and turned to tell the wolves to go to the tree line and phase back.

I took this time to delve into Jacob and Sam's minds. Jacob's mind was a mess. He was so ashamed of his actions and kept chanting how sorry he was and how much he wanted to redeem himself all while keeping a visual of Renesmee's face in his head. Sam was hoping that this meeting would have a favorable outcome and thinking how much he missed Emily already and wanted to get back to her.

The rest of the wolves came back and we motioned for them to follow us in the house. As we turned to go in Emmett and Carlisle paused to the right of the door to allow all the wolves to enter then bring up the rear. Emmett wanted to not have his back turned to them. Jasper caught my eye as he strolled over to where Alice was perched on the arm of the couch. "Edward, I'm doing the best I can to keep the calm going but it keeps getting harder. The feeling Jacob is emitting are gonna make me lose it. His remorse and anguish are almost too much but add in his sorrow and self loathing and fuck I'm going to slit my wrists or jump off a cliff. Say something to him please!" I nodded at shifted my eyes to Bella and back. "She's okay for now, no bloodlust so far. A little anger but mostly hurt." He thought.

I took my seat next to Bella putting my arm around her. The wolves hovered as Emmett came in last leaving the door open to help both parties with the smell; the back door was open as well. He took a seat on the other side of Bella in case we needed to restrain her from her bloodlust or most likely her newborn anger.

"Please make your selves comfortable" Esme said as she stood. "Would any of you like something to drink?" always the hostess. All declined except Seth even though they all were thirsty from the run over here. Three of the wolves settled along the wall next to the door, Paul, Leah and Embry, the least comfortable in our presence. Sam Jacob and Quil took a seat on the other couch and Jared stood behind it near his Alpha. He must be the Beta, I mused. Seth made himself comfortable on the floor as Esme handed him a glass of fresh lemonade. He thanked her as her and Carlisle took seats in the two arm chairs.

"Well we all know why were hear so let's begin shall we." Carlisle said.

Jacob spoke first with his head down "I wanna start by saying how sorry I am, no….. Sorry is not good enough." He paused and sighed loudly "I don't even have the words to express how sorry I truly am. I hate myself for what I did and what I wanted to do. I know you all must hate me as well and I don't blame you. I have never been as ashamed of myself as I am right now. The only thing that has kept me together is the thought of Ren. I need her now and……"

"Wait who?" Bella cut him off. I tightened my grip on her as Jasper's thoughts warned of building anger and tried to push more calm into the room.

Jacob lifted his eyes to Bella but quickly shifted them back to his lap with his eyebrows furrowed. He could not even stand to look his best friend in the face he was so ashamed. "Umm… Ren. Your daughter I have started calling her Ren because… Well because I could not remember her full name from when you said it right after she was born. I only remembered that it started out Ren. I'm sorry."

"Renesmee. Her name is Renesmee and if you weren't busy trying to kill her than you might have found that out!" Bella spat at him. I pulled her closer as Jacob's head fell into his hands. "What do you want from her Jacob, you want some sort of child bride? Huh? You think just because you imprint that we are going to let you see her, hell I don't want her to have anything to do with you! Ever! How could you Jake? I thought we were best friends?! You tried to attack my daughter! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Calm down my love, Jacob made a big mistake and is trying to explain what happened. I know your upset but let's just all talk and try to figure this out." I whispered in her ear, even though every pair of ears in the house could hear me. I shot a look at Jasper's pained face pleading.

"Mistake? You call trying to murder our daughter a mistake? I want him to know he will never be allowed to get near her again!" she sat back and huffed as Jasper focused the calm right at her and she finally responded to it.

The room fell silent with the exception of beating heats, deep breaths and Jacob's tears falling down his cheeks onto his hands as he cradled his head in them. All of the wolves who were imprinted were thinking what life would be like for them if they were not allowed to see their imprint. It was awful; they all felt the same way that they might as well just die. It was something I could relate to as I felt like dying when I left Bella. It was the worst feeling that was constant, never relenting only increasing. All consuming despair. "Edward I can't do this, it is too much man. The agony is unbearable!" Jasper thought just as a vision of him and Bella running to the meadow and back flitted through Alice's mind.

"Jazz, why don't you take Bella outside to calm down and take a breather, we will fill you in when you come back in about 11 and a half minutes." Alice said and the look of relief that crossed his face was almost comical. He stuck his hand out to Bella and said "shall we" as she rose to go with him with a huff.

As they excited the back door I said "You'll have to forgive Jasper, the feelings in this room are just too intense. He can only be around such powerful feelings so long before they start to affect him. And Bella, well you understand her anger."

"We understand" Sam said.

I looked to Carlisle at a loss. I didn't know what to say. All these thoughts and feelings were bringing me back to times in my relationship with Bella. It was overwhelming to me as well because the parallels I was drawing in my head were undeniable.

Carlisle's POV

This meeting was not really going anywhere. The pain rolling off Jacob was palpable. None of needed to be an empath to see what he was going through. Being a compassionate creature made it hard to see this young man so lost in misery. I could see Esme's motherly side causing her to twitch with the need to comfort him in some way. When Edward looked at me pleading I knew I had to change tactics. I could tell this was bringing things up things in Edward's mind that I rather him not relive and I told him so mentally.

I cleared my throat, not needing to but to get everyone's attention, "I'm not sure what we all wish to gain out of this meeting so I think it's best that we all put our thoughts and feeling out there and try to figure out what happens next. Am I to assume everyone here knows about the events that took place the day Renesmee was born?" After a nod or a mmhmm from everyone in the room I continued, "Well then I think it's best to start from the beginning and give Jacob a chance to say what happened in his own words, when Bella and Jasper return. Alice?"

"They are nearly here." She said.

I nodded thanks and like clockwork they approached within a minute. "Please join us again" I said allowed knowing they would hear. After they sat I said "Jacob"

He looked up with red eyes and nodded.

While staring off towards the back of the house covered with windows he began. "Well, I thought Bella was dead so Edward told me to get out and I started to leave. I was devastated. I thought I lost my best friend." He swallowed thickly and said "I was so mad when I saw Blondie.. er.. Rosalie holding Ren. In that second I thought it was wrong that she was alive and Bella was dead. I don't ever remember deciding to attack or deciding to phase but next thing I know I'm flying through the air."

At this we could hear three low growls, one from upstairs the others from Emmett and Bella. Edward squeezed Bella's shoulders and kissed her temple and she stopped. Jacob turned his gaze to Emmett and said "I'm sorry I attacked your wife. I know we don't get along but if it's any consolation I didn't intend on killing her, I just wanted her out of the way."

Emmett glared at him then looked to Edward for an answer to a question I'm sure he asked mentally.

"No Emmett, he never tried to go for her neck and he never even thought about it. He momentarily had the upper hand and could have done more damage but didn't."

This seemed to appease him for the time being and said "I won't kill you pup but let this be a warning, don't even look at anyone in my family wrong or I'll take the opportunity to get revenge for my wife. Understand?"

Jacob met his gaze and said "I understand. And I will apologize to Rosalie when she will let me."

"Ya, good luck with that. I only said I wouldn't kill you, I wouldn't be so sure Rosie won't still skin your ass for a rug or something!" Emmett chuckled.

"Anyway, I had this overwhelming feeling to get to the baby after Rose was out of the way and when I did she looked up at me and the rest is history. I'm so sorry Bells. You got to believe me when I say I wouldn't have hurt her. I was just angry and let my instincts take over. The loss was so great I just let my wolf take over. I don't know what to do now. I get why you all hate me but please, I'll do anything you want me to. Just please consider giving me another chance. She is my life now; it's been hell these last few days. I feel the constant pull in my chest. I just need to be near her. I'm begging you all. Just think about it. Please for her sake as well as mine. I know she must feel it too."

Bella's head shot in his direction as she would not look at him while he was pleading "What do you mean for her sake? You think she can feel the imprint too? How do you know?"

Jacob just nodded his head and Sam took this as his opportunity to speak up. "Bella its true, the imprintee can feel it as well. It's a lot more confusing for them than us because we know what's happened but they don't and it's a little weird for them to have this insane connection with a guy immediately. At least that's what Emily tells me, but she needs me just as much as I need her and it is just as hard for her to be away from me as it is for me. I don't know if you guys are going to tell Renesmee what happened or if she remembers but I have experienced a similar situation with Emily. I actually hurt her as you all know when I got too angry and phased too close to her. It was the darkest time in my life. I hated myself for hurting her. I wanted to stay away from her after that. I thought I didn't deserve her. I think we made it a couple weeks apart. I was in so much pain from being away from her I could not even get out of bed or phase at all. When I finally gave in and went to her I found her to be in much the same condition. She forgave me the moment it happened but I hurt us more by staying away and as much as I know I didn't deserve her forgiveness I will never try to stay away ever again. She is my heart, my soul and my life as I am hers and apart we are nothing. I promised her and myself to spend the rest of my life making her happy because it's what she deserves but also it's the only thing that makes me happy as well. I honestly believe no matter what you choose to tell her she will forgive Jacob and want, no need him around."

We all just looked at him for a second before I said "Thank you for sharing that Sam, I'm sure it was hard to relive. Anyone else have something to add?"

"I do" Quil started "I just want to say, and I'm sure the mind reader and the empath can confirm, imprinting on a young girl or baby in Jake's case does not make you some creepy pedophile or something. I don't think of Claire in a sexual way AT ALL! I feel more like she is my best friend. I live to see her smile and to make her laugh. I only want to protect her and do right by her. I don't know if one day I will feel those types of feelings for her or not, heck I don't know if she ever would either. I do know that if I did and she did not it would not change her place in my life. She would always have a choice. We just want to be in these girls' lives in whatever capacity they need. You don't have to worry about Jacob ever being inappropriate in anyway, he does not see her any different than I see my Claire bear!"

As we absorbed this Paul started to speak "I can add a little too about what it is like when the family disapproves of the imprint. Sorry Jake but it was awful for Rach when you and Billy were kinda pissed I imprinted on her. She thought you guys would at least keep your crap to yourselves. I mean we all know that I was your last choice for her but I love her and she loves me and that shits just awesome!" he got this little smirk on his face and I saw Edward cringe so I could only imagine the thoughts going through his head.

"What I think he means is" Sam continued "is that their love will find a way and it might be easier for Ren if you guys are supportive. Also, the relationship between an imprinted pair can be so fulfilling and so wonderful in any capacity, for both parties." He sighed deeply and added "I don't know if this is coming out right or not, I hope these two can help fill in the blanks and show how sincere we are being. I know we have fought together before, but you must understand how hard this is for us to come here and willingly tell you all things that are very important to us and very private too. We do this because Ren is now family to us. She is important to Jake there for to us as well. So I guess by extension we accept that your whole family will be a part of our lives as imprinting is a bond shared for life. And as a show of faith and to extend an olive branch Jake and I have decided to absolve all treaty lines. We will trust that you guys will always hold human lives in high regard. We will still hunt the red eyes so if you guys have visitors please let us know and keep anyone you want kept in one piece far away from the Rez."

"Thank you Sam, Jacob. That means a lot to us and I assure it's not something we lightly." I said and they nodded." Well then, if no one else has anything to add……"

Jared cut me off saying "Can I just add that Jacob is a good person, Bella you know this. You guys have been friends for a long time. No offence Edward but he was there for you when he left. He picked up the pieces no questions asked. He fought us tooth and nail when he first phased and we told him to stay away from you. He all but told us to screw off because he would not just leave you too and in true Jacob fashion he found a way around it so you could be a part of his life. He fought for you physically when newborns came for you and emotionally when he developed feelings for you. When you didn't pick him it broke his heart but he still swallowed his pride and showed up on your wedding day even if just for a couple of minutes. And finally when you came from your honeymoon pregnant he still fought for you, against us, he was there for you during the whole thing. I get that your hurt by what happened, who wouldn't be, but you have hurt him too and he has never given up one you. Bella you know Jacob's heart so please keep that in mind when you decide if he can see Ren."

I looked to Bella and she had her head turned looking out the back window nodding her head. Assuming she was not going to talk I said "Thank you guys very much for coming, you have given us much to think about and we will have a family meeting to discuss it all. However the decision ultimately belongs to Edward and Bella when it comes to their daughter. Jacob, I know this is not easy for you and I hope that one day we can all get past this. I'll call you later on with any news okay?"

He stood and offered his hand to shake. I did and he said "Thanks Doc" and turned "Thank you guys too for at least hearing me out, hearing all of us out"

With that Esme rose and told him "Your welcome Dear, come now and I'll see you all out"

After one by one they exited with a nod or a "Bye" on their way out I met my wife at the door and we turned to look at our family. Taking in all the different expressions I rubbed my hands over my face as Esme rubbed my back in a calming manner. This was going to be one hell of a family meeting, of that I was sure.

AN: This chapter was hard for me to write. It's harder for me to get in the cullens head. Please let me know what you think. The family meeting is next. How do you think each Cullen will feel?

Thanks for reading;)

~J~

*disclaimer is on my profile*