I was to follow Karai now. She was, is, my master, my sensei. I went from being the pride and joy in Shredder's eyes to being just another foot soldier. It hurt, it truly did hurt. I felt like Shredder didn't appreciate me. He didn't care about all the love and loyalty I had given to him. He simply brushed it aside and acted as though I didn't exist anymore. Karai doesn't talk to me much anymore, for some reason, even though she got what she wanted, Shredder's love, she still seemed uncontent. She still seemed to hate me for some reason. She still seemed alone.

I'll have memories, flashbacks, dreams of my old life. My father, my mother, the emotions from that day and that horrible year. But all that seems so far away now. I'm a completely different person, I'm a warrior; a soldier. Thinking about my past hurts, but I only ever see it in shadows now. Ghosts from the past I can barely make out, yet I know they are there and always will be.

I'm not really sure who I am. That's what I meant by there's no simple answer, cause their really isn't. I'm so many different things. I'm not evil, I'm not nice, I'm not even just somewhere inbetween. I'm not who The Shredder wants me to be. He can try all he wants but I know he'll never succeed. I'm not a monster, I don't ever want to be. My desire isn't to kill people. I'm not exactly sure what my desires really are.

I believe you change. I believe that these changes can and are permanent. That's what being human is all about; change. But I also believe that no matter how hard you try, there's always that one part of you left. I'm just not sure which part of me it is. Is it my happiness? My positive outlook on life? My innocence? Or maybe I, unlike others, didn't keep anything of my old life. Maybe that's why my memories are so blurry and far away. Maybe I truly have changed into a monster; a true reflection of what my master wanted.

I'm still with the foot; when I want to be anyway. I like to go off on my own a lot, do things my way. Some days I want to be a hero, others a bad guy; and even sometimes just me, whoever that is.

We met the turtles a few weeks ago. They are the soldiers of Hamato Yoshi, the man the Foot Clan, Shredder, is after. Karai led us into the fight. I found myself face to face with the turtle in the blue bandana. Something about him: the way he moves, his voice, his determination during a fight, his eyes, I liked it. I found myself thinking about him the rest of the night. I couldn't stop thinking about him, about Leo. He was so brave, strong, heroic. He was funny, kind, and smart. He was like... my father. He was just like him and I couldn't take it. I needed him. I needed Leo to be with me. I loved him, I loved him with everything I had. He was what made me happy in my otherwise cold and empty life. He was my father brought back to life. And he had his eyes. They both possessed this beautiful energy and joy that you wanted. Leo's eyes were big and blue. The most beautiful shade of blue. They were just like my father's eyes. I found myself beginning to cry as I looked in Leo's eyes. I had yearned to see my father's eyes again, and now I could. And who better to be given these eyes than Leonardo, the turtle version of my father.

After all that wishing, all that dreaming, all the crying and screaming for him to come back and save me, he listened. My dad had always said he would pick out the guy I was going to marry, and I would tell him to make it someone just like him. He did it. He gave me Leo, and I will stop at nothing to have him.

I am Samaura. I grew up Kabukicho, Japan. I lost everything; my father, my mother, my life. And then I was saved and become a ninja thanks to Oroku Saki. I'm not sure who I am or who I want to be, but I know in my heart that Leonardo should and in my mind is, mine forever and always.

A/N Alright that was the last chapter! Thanks for anyone that read this and I really hope you enjoyed it! Cannot wait to write more.