Warnings: Swearing, angst, schizophrenia, new Hatori pairing ('cause he seriously needs more love).

Dedication: Silentz, thank you so much for continuing support. It really means so much to me. This chapter is for you.

Believe It or Not, I Think I Might…

"Love me?" I whispered. "Don't fuck with me, Yuki. Just don't." It made me so mad to think that he had no idea how fucking lonely I'd been. Still am, I suppose.

He smiled, but it wasn't sad. "See?"

"Do I see what?" I hadn't meant to snap, but the unforgettable hate was curling around my abdomen again.

"Why I left," he murmured softly. "You're insecure, and I'm just fucked up. Pardon the pun. We'd be insane together."

'Insecure' had hit a little too close to heart. "There is no 'together', Yuki." End of story.

"Then why did you fuck me?" He said it calmly, and his eyes were unreadable. I wanted there to be something there, something I could get mad about – even the cool superiority he'd always shown me would be better than this. I almost truthfully wondered whether this was Yuki.

"I wasn't the first," I retorted coolly. A flicker for a moment? Nothing.

"Didn't say you were," he countered calmly. "And the experience seemed to pay off. As far as I could tell you were enjoying yourself.

I could feel my body curl with hatred; my fingers balled beside me. "You're pathetic, Yuki. A little whore. Of course I enjoyed myself." I stood and reached the door.

"Where are you going?" he whispered. At last. He sounded desperate and scared and I felt overwhelmingly glad.

"Out. You are apparently totally capable of looking after yourself." I left him.

It was the worst thing I could have done.

Hatori slid the key in and turned. Gently, in the background, he heard glass break. He put his head around the door, taking in the upturned bed, splintered shelves, shattered TV screen. After speaking to the landlord he'd expected destruction, but nothing this severe. There was nothing left. He stepped inside, avoiding what was left of a clock. "Yuki?" he called softly.

A figure, in the kitchen. His back was to him, so he stepped forward and repeated himself. When he saw Yuki's eyes he felt winded; he knew he was blind, but the cloudiness was still so horribly wrong. He hadn't had the chance to examine him and see if it was permanent… His hands were bloodied, hanging beside him. The drops fell surreally to the floor with the softest of noises. "Hatori," he said. His voice was calm but Hatori had never seen him so angry. He approached, took hold of his hand and cleaned the blood and dirt away gently. Yuki stood there and let him. He wrapped his knuckles in bandages and stepped back in silence. "Do you have any?" he asked calmly.

"Any what?" Hatori replied softly. He had a pretty good idea what Yuki wanted, though.

He was right. "Drugs. I feel like shit."

Hatori closed his eyes for a moment. "No, Yuki. I don't."

He frowned in comprehension for a moment. "You're trying to get Yuki clean. It's kind, but I don't recommend it."

Hatori had to do a double take at 'Yuki', but the figure in front of him was unmistakeable. "I appreciate the warning," he murmured.

The figure looked at him directly and his stomach clenched. Blood trickled from imbetween his lips; his tongue strayed out and removed it. Hatori found himself watching. "Read the charges?" Yuki murmured.

"I'm not here to fuck you, Yuki." He found himself regretting saying it; the smirk on Yuki's face was intolerable.

He shrugged. "Most people are. You must be tired."

"I'll manage."

A moment. Another. "You sure?"

"I always was."

"Then can I fuck you?" His tone was so devastatingly brutally factual Hatori's heart flew.

"No," he replied. "Where's Kyo?" Smooth, Hatori. Changing the subject so inconspicuously.

"I don't know," he murmured, and for the first time his voice wavered. Then his eyes (or what was left of them) appeared to train on him and the smirk returned. Hatori realised with a horrible gutwrench that Yuki was trying to be sexy.

He realised with even more dread it was working.

"When did he leave?" he said quickly.

"I don't know. I lost track of time." Hatori scanned an eye over the wreckage; out of the corner of his eye Yuki was growing closer.

"Is he coming back?" he asked softly.

"I don't know." The quiet anger in his voice confirmed what he'd suspected. A hand brushed along his lower arm. "You're here."

Hatori wasn't sure he liked what that implied. "To help."

"However you can?" Yuki was now intolerably close, hand inches from his hip.

"Within limitations… yes."

Yuki noticed the hitch in his voice as his hand made contact with his hip and smirked. "Perfect."

Hatori hadn't been kissed for a while. He hadn't been fucked for longer. It wasn't a surprise he lost control.

Hatori, sat up beside an equally naked Yuki, surveyed the destruction around him. He picked up his mobile and dialled speed number 2. "I think we have a problem," he murmured.

I shouldn't have left. I had realised it once I'd allow myself to calm down and promptly started making my way home. My phone went off in my pocket; Hatori's voice murmured down the phone. "I think we have a problem," he said quietly.

"I'm on my way." I arrived 12 minutes later; I found it very hard to comprehend the simple destruction around me. Hatori was sitting on the windowsill in traditional shirt and trousers; it made me wonder if he ever took them off. Yuki was in bed; I noted that he'd managed to put on the kimono I'd bought him and was on his side, asleep. I scanned my eyes across the wreckage. "What happened?" I murmured.

"Sit down, Kyo." I did so. "I think we have a problem," he repeated, and as I looked around I realised that this was bad.

"We have to get him off these drugs," I said after the crushing silence.

Hatori nodded, but the lack of compliance in his eyes worried me. "It's understandable. All the shit he's been through; it's a classic mental reaction."

I noticed, without much interest, it was the first time I'd heard Hatori swear. "If you had told me there were two Yukis a year and a half ago I think I would have joined him and lost it myself."

"How did you feel now?" he murmured.

"Scared." I suppressed a shiver. "Can you cure him?"

"I don't know." What annoyed me more was that he didn't seem to care.

With a pathetic whimper that I found oddly adorable Yuki rolled over on the bed behind us and sat up. I moved over immediately. "Careful," I murmured. "Don't move. There's broken glass on the floor." What am I, his mother?

"Why?" he croaked. In all fairness, he did sound like shit. Like he'd been screaming… His brows lowered in pain. "My head…"

Hatori moved over beside me. "You should be able to take some aspirin."

"Hatori?" Yuki shuffled towards me more on the bed, surprised he was here; I placed a hand on his leg reassuringly but looked at Hatori with dread. Yuki had spoken to Hatori; why wouldn't he know he was here?

"What happened to your hands, Yuki?" Hatori asked gently.

"My hands?" Yuki moved his head towards me, running the fingers of his right hand across the bandaged knuckles of his left. "They hurt. Why?"

You don't remember? "Just an accident. Don't worry, it doesn't matter." He moved his head down to face the bed; his hand rested a few centimetres from mine on his leg. I found mine involuntarily travelling over and taking hold of it; his hand was cold but he clenched back.

"I think I should look at your eyes, Yuki," Hatori said after a few moments of calming silence.

Yuki nodded, turning his face towards Hatori. "Will it hurt?"

Hatori shook his head, before coughing with embarrassment. "No," he said quietly. Yuki nodded. Hatori extracted some form of handtorch out of his bag and began examining eyes and cheeks; I watched on idly for a few moments, just holding Yuki's hand. All in all I felt totally useless. Yuki was nervous; he was clenching my hand, but his face was, as ever, totally unreadable. I found myself smiling softly. Damn rat.

Where did that all go?

Stupid bickering and touching and fighting and looks across the room when he thought I couldn't see. I kind of missed it. Okay, I really missed it. But now… he was here. Would it start again? For once, I hoped not. Before, I wanted everything to go back to normal, but now… Yuki's hand squeezed once against mine. He was warming up, heat spreading from my body into his. I kind of liked this. Okay, I really liked this.

Hatori's voice brought me firmly back to the present. "I think they should be curable," he said gently.

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, but Yuki, as ever, was totally stoic. "An operation?"

"Possibly," he said slowly, clearly thinking about the options. Yuki shuddered; I knew he hated needles, knives and anything vaguely surgical. I clenched once; he replied with a quick smile. "Probably not. You'll have to be on medication, naturally." He smiled once, but it had no humour. "And eat plenty of carrots."

"Aye aye, captain," I murmured, and Yuki sent me a death glare (even with the cloudy eyes it sent my heart racing – different reasons? I firmly ignored my rambling thoughts…) but the small smile I could just about see made it lose all seriousness.

"I'll book into a nearby hotel." He stood; his gaze rested on Yuki for a moment and for a second I thought I saw lust in his eyes? Kyo, you're going mad with jealousy, I said to myself. I walked him to the door. "They're all good signs, Kyo," he murmured to me. "Just don't ever leave him again." He called to Yuki in the background. "I'll be back in the morning." He turned and left and I suddenly realised I was alone.

With Yuki.

At least he isn't naked this time.

Shutupshutupshutup.

"Kyo?" I turned and sat on the bed beside him; his hand moved to my shirt for reassurance. "I'm sorry."

"I'm an asshole, Yuki. Don't you dare apologise for that," I said fondly, and he smiled.

"Well done. You finally got something right." I sat and stared at him for a long moment before pulling him into a hug.

"Shit, Yuki," I breathed. "Don't ever scare me like that again." I felt him smile against my chest; I sighed. It shuddered.

"Kyo…" I bit my lip. I'd been avoiding it. "When I said I loved you I meant it."

"Do you still now?" I whispered.

He rested his head on my shoulder. "Honestly, Kyo? I don't even know if I can feel anything anymore. But…" His hand tightened on my chest. "I'd like to try and love you." He coughed, adorably embarrassed. "Wh-what about you?"

I found myself rolling my eyes and smiling. "Yuki, seeing as I'm not pushing you away with revulsion, I think I might like to try and get along with you at least." I looked down at him and realised with a horrible gutwrenching blow that it had already become much more than that – and some of us didn't want our heart breaking again. "Do you think you can cope with that?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "I think I can."

"Good."

Because I don't think I can.

A/N

Okay, so you don't want to hear my excuses – but GCSEs are (unfortunately) rather important. I'm still doing them, but sciences are over, and I'm on half term at the mo, so everything's getting updated.

So sickly sweet, neh? I honestly hate fluff, but it's good for the soul. –omnoms on candyfloss-

Yeah, so Yuki's schizophrenic, Kyo's paranoid and Hatori's getting a love interest.

Much love to mah Akki for letting me steal her plotline ;)