He remembered it all so vividly, and being drunk didn't help. Hisagi sat across from him, sober as ever.
"Why'd she have to bring up such awful memories anyway?" Kira grumbled. "Even after all these years, I still have nightmares about it."
"It might help if you talked about it." Hisagi suggested, not knowing how to really help his friend. When something like that happens, can you really ever help them? Kira sat back, staring up at the ceiling. He'd just graduated the Academy. He'd only been in his Squad for three days before it happened. He'd become a Shinigami to prevent tragedies like that one. What bitter irony. He'd been on patrol around the Seireitei when he got the news. A hell butterfly had flown over to him. How innocent.
"Izuru Kira, there has been an attack. You are to report to the afflicted area immediately and provide assistance." He'd rushed over immediately, only to discover his house was the "afflicted area." It was like the entire world was gray. He'd been completely numb, frozen. This can't be real. It can't. He'd rushed into the burned building, searching every corner, shouting his parents' names, then his sister's, opening every door with hope, closing each one with crushing agony. The dust and the ash burned with every breath, the smoke still rising from the floorboards stung his eyes. No reply. That's what he remembered best about that day. The silence. The utter and complete silence.
He pulled himself out of the nightmare. He couldn't take it anymore. Shuuhei waited patiently for Kira to speak, and when he didn't, neither did he.
Stupid Kira! She thought. Who was he to yell at her? Your acting captain, stupid. You're the one who picked this. You could have joined Squad 9. It would have been smarter. But not as satisfying. She leaned against the wall. She could still see that Hollow in front of her, jaws gaping, screeching as it ripped the roof from their home. She'd been so young then, with no idea she possessed Shinigami powers. She'd just stared at the monster as her parents ran like chickens, trying to find a way out, trying to find her. She'd been playing a game, waiting for her brother to come home and play tag. She'd been hiding in the closet, peaking through the slit in the door. She'd watched as it grabbed her father, who had pushed his wife into the hallway and out of danger. One gulp. That was all it took to eat her father. There'd been blood dripping from its jaws. She hadn't realized quite yet that it was her father's blood. She'd thought he was playing hide and seek with monster. She didn't believe her father could get eaten. That happened to other people. Her parents couldn't get eaten by a Hollow. That was just a scary story parents told their children, wasn't it? Then her mother had disappeared into the monster's maw, and that's when she'd realized, it was over. She'd shut that closet door and huddled in a corner. She didn't remember anything after that. Maybe she'd blacked out, maybe her mind blocked her memories of what had happened to protect her. All she remembered was waking up in a burned down house with no one around. She'd stayed there, in the rubble, for an entire day before any Shinigami arrived. She'd hid at first, thinking the Hollow had returned. There were only three of them. They took one look at the devastation and left. No search, no questions. She'd waited there for days, weeks even, waiting for her brother to come for her, but he never did. Only one person ever came for her. He'd turned her into the fighter she was. He was the one who had given her a mission. He was the reason she lived, and kept on living. Him, and her brother. That monster had abandoned her after becoming a Shinigami. He was the reason she was filled with hate. He was the reason she was going to remake Seireitei, and destroy anyone who got in her way.