Well, this chapter will focus and Addie and Derek. I hope you all enjoy.
Chapter 4
"Derek, we're pregnant! Did you hear, we're pregnant," Addison looked so hopeful and wide-eyed.
"Addie, you have stage 2 uterine cancer that spread to your cervix and ovaries."
"Yes, but we're pregnant."
The expression in his eyes was so full of pain, "I know, Addie, the baby might kill you. I can't live without you."
"I can't live knowing I killed our baby. I already aborted a child because it wasn't the right time, I can't do it again."
"There can be more babies if you had chemotherapy."
"Yes, but I want this child. You think I don't know it could kill me. I am a double board certified neonatal surgeon and the best in her field. "
"Addie, what about the higher risk of miscarriage. This pregnancy will be for nothing if both you and the child can't survive."
"What about the chance of survival to full-term?"
"Addie! I love you. What would I do when we have a child with beautiful red hair and mesmerizing eyes just like yours and you aren't there with me? I need you. This child needs you too. He or she can't live with just you or me." He pleaded to the love of his life, "I need you."
"You haven't needed me for almost three years now. What makes you need me now?" Addie asked bitterly.
For the first time in a long time, he was at a loss for words but then he summed up his courage, "I love you. I'm so sorry I haven't been there, but I promise I'm here now. I promise I will be there."
"Go back to the slutty intern," She sat up abruptly pushed him off the bed and pointed to the door, "I'll do this with or without you." Suddenly her abdomen pounded like crazy and made her so nauseous. Her body arched backward and then she let out a whimper, then a groan. Now, she completely regretted the sudden movement. Callie and Miranda rushed to help but Derek was at her side immediately, holding her while she cried in pain and making sure to put his hand on her tender stomach as if to protect her and the baby.
"I'll," he paused, "I will be there through everything. Even though you might be Satan, you still are the love of my life; I will never ever stop loving you. Try not to die, for me. If not for me, do if for our baby."
Awkwardly, the general surgeon and the orthopedic surgeon slinked out of the room to give the couple space.
Once again, Addison buried her face into his chest and tried to breathe and slow her heart rate. He smelled like ferryboats and the Acqua Di Gio cologne by Giorgio Armani she once bought him for their third anniversary. "You're wearing Acqua Di Gio." She said, her voice muffled through the fabric of his shirt.
"Well, you're wearing Miss Dior."
"I always wear Miss Dior; it's my favorite. Remember how happy we were when we gave these to each other?"
"We'll get there again," Derek mused as he thought of that day.
Flashback
It was December 26th in New York when everything was magical, snowy, and a winter wonderland. That day, Addison had performed her first solo hysterectomy. Once she had finished, she ran out of the OR sobbing into Derek's arms, crying tears of happiness for the successful surgery and tears of despair for the action she just executed. In the scrub room, Addison bawled and between sniffles apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is hell of a way to spend our anniversary."
"Shh. It's okay. I love you," Derek whispered into her ear.
"I've ruined Christmas Day; it's supposed to be our holiday," now the mascara was running down her face making canals of black.
"Christmas isn't over yet."
"I've ruined everything. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, Addie." He looked into her glassy eyes. "It's eleven o'clock, Christmas Day isn't over yet." Deftly, he brushed the tears away from her face and held her hand, "Let's go."
"But, I'm wearing scrubs and it is freezing outside," The girly-girl part of Addison was shining through as she whined.
"You'll be fine. Let's go." She giggled as he pulled her through the scrub room doors and kissed her gently.
"Wait, give me ten minutes. I need to go to the locker rooms." Derek sighed dramatically. "Come on Der. At least let me get my coat and wipe this black stuff off my face. I'll be quick"
"Fine, but you look beautiful already," it was comments like those that let her know she married the perfect guy and had the perfect life.
Inside the locker rooms, Addison was frantically searching for the neatly wrapped gift, "Come on, where are you? Ugh. I put you here somewhere... Finally! AHA!" Talking to inanimate objects was a bad habit she had developed when her stuffed animals were her only friends in her childhood. She changed into her Louboutin boots and Burberry trench coat then slid the gift into the pocket inside her beautiful coat. It was the perfect gift and she knew it.
"Addie?" She heard Derek call from outside the locker rooms, "It has been 15 minutes."
"I'm coming!" She showed up in front of him and twirled.
"There's my girl," Derek laughed and kissed her passionately. After a couple seconds, he stopped and smirked saying, "The good part comes later."
She examined him carefully, "It's a little too late for sexual rendezvouses in the cold."
"Put on the blindfold." He said, after laughing, "And for your information, it's never too cold or too late for sexual rendezvous.
"No, I don't do blindfolds." She challenged, not wanting to be surprised.
"Do you trust me?" He quoted Aladdin from the Disney movie.
Like Jasmine, Addison hesitated, then responded, "Yes"
"Then put on the blindfold. I promise you'll look equally stunning."
They walked hand-in-hand across the street to Central Park and stood in front of the giant Christmas tree. Because of the lateness of the hour, they were the only ones there.
"Take off the blindfold and open your eyes," Derek urged.
In front of the dazzling green and red Christmas tree was a little table, candles and all, set up for two.
"Wow, " Addison started tearing up, "Oh my god, Derek, I love you."
"I love you too, but the best is yet to come." She looked at him perplexed, wondering what more Derek could do to make this evening more perfect.
"There is no way I am undressing in this weather out here."
"Not everything is about sex Addie, though that will come," he smirked, then clapped.
Suddenly, everything around them lit up, the trees and the bushes became golden, the sounds of the waterfalls turned on, and a orchestra started playing.
"Hello, My name is Mark and I will be your server tonight," Their old friend introduced them to their table and opened a bottle of champagne.
"Oh My Goodness Derek," Addison started laughing at Mark's waiter outfit, then thought of the pumpkin he wore to Halloween the year before. Slowly, Derek and Mark both joined in and they only stopped when their stomachs were hurting and tears of joy leaked out of their eyes.
"Ehm," Mark was the first to recover. "This is a fresh minestrone soup and sourdough bread. Enjoy."
"Derek, this is perfect. I love you so much."
Derek stood up and presented a little crimson colored box, "Addie, Happy Anniversary."
Inside the little box was a Miss Dior perfume unopened from the first batch ever created in 1947 and another Miss Dior from this year customized with the words, "Addison, I'll love you for eternity. This is forever. Happy Third Anniversary."
Addison stood up slowly and with tears in her eyes flung herself at an unsuspecting Derek. They fell into the snow together and started kissing, "I love you so much Derek Shepherd. I can't believe I got this lucky. I don't deserve you."
"I love you more Addie. I don't deserve you." She curled up against his chest and stayed there, feeling his warm embrace.
"Now, I believe it's time for the happy wife to give the deserving husband a gift," Derek said, wanting to break the silence. But Addison started tearing up again. "Hey, what's wrong? Come on Addie, look at me."
"My gift is so much less perfect. I am way too embarrassed to give it to you."
"Addie, whatever that gift is, I'll love it anyway. I'll love anything from you."
"Geez, I don't know how I got so emotional. I really hope you like the gift even though I know you'll love anything, I want it to be perfect and it's not." She pulled out the little box with the Giorgio Armani cologne inside and a little card that said, "Derek Shepherd / In med school I was the nerd / yet you still looked at me like I was beauty / so when you asked about my availability / what else could I say but yes to such a beau / I love you"
"Addie, you don't get to decide whether it is perfect. I do. And I decide that it is more perfect than the perfectest thing in the world. But in conclusion, we both fail at writing poems and songs. Remember that song I sung for our wedding day?" They both burst out laughing again.
"Addison Montgomery, I met her in the summer-y"
"I never used summery as a noun. I met her in the summer, she"
"Oh! She! Really?
"She was cutting up a very dead body, but in her eyes I saw my life I knew that she would be my wife, and she would bring the life back into me, for everyday until eternity or until I'll be as dead as that body. I love you, Addison Montgomery"
"Nothing is more perfect than today."
End Flashback
Looking down at the red-haired girl in his arms, he realized how wrong he was. How could he ever doubt her, ever leave her hurt and alone, ever leave in the first place. She was tearing up, thinking about how much they had loved each other.
Quietly he began singing, "Addison Montgomery."
He took a breath, ready to sing the next line when Addison broke in shakily, "I met her in the summer, she"
Together they were in harmony, "She was cutting up a very dead body, but in her eyes I saw my life I knew that she would be my wife, and she would bring the life back into me, for everyday until eternity or until I'll be as dead as that body."
They broke out into laughter, "I love you," they said simultaneously then kissed.
"Please don't ever die. I can't live without you," Derek whispered back unevenly to hide the sadness and desperation he felt.
End of Chapter 4
Did you all like the flashback? I'm thinking of doing more of those in regards to the miscarriage I briefly mention and the abortion and more Addek.
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XOXO,
Shannon