I Think This Is Yours...
(Marlene McKinnon)
"Don't turn back to your left. Black is staring at you like you're to be his dinner or something…" Lily whispered to me in Potions. We'd fought Monday, and he hadn't attempted to say anything to me. It had been two weeks. Didn't he feel any remorse?
Not that I cared, anyway.
Quidditch practice was probably the most awkward times of my life. I simply couldn't focus on the plays because of his stupid stare, and I ended dropping the quaffle almost every time we tried them. And all the rest of the time, all he'd done was stare at me. Stare at me while I ate, while I was in class, while I walked with my friends… but still he'd said nothing.
Sure, I'd poured my heart out to him that night, which was a huge mistake and probably made me seem really weird to him. I made this big dramatic thing, expecting him to hear it and say…
Oh, hell. Yes of course I wanted him to say it back. That he'd enjoyed the kiss as much as I had… and a little part of me kind of wished he'd wanted us to be more.
But no. At first I thought I was just another random girl to him. But he hadn't even remembered it. I wasn't even good enough for him to take up a tiny amount of brain space for. And he'd actually tried to make an excuse! He'd said my name – my last name no less – obviously trying to feed me some bullshit excuse to get me off his case.
And now no doubt he'd told the other guys and they were now staring at my back, laughing about sad, little McKinnon who couldn't kiss to save her life.
Don't turn back. Don't turn back…
Ugh. I had turned back. I'd tried to make it look like I was itching my cheek with my shoulder, so hopefully he was convinced…
Lily had been right. Sirius was staring at me. It was a bit unnerving actually. He certainly had a strong stare.
"Has he tried to say anything?" Mary asked without looking at me so we wouldn't get in trouble. She was also copying down the notes from the board without missing a beat. She scares me a bit sometimes.
"Nothing." I said, not caring if I sounded completely and totally depressed. Mary already knew how upset I was due to the fact I came barreling into our room crying my eyes out and she let me cry and scream and yell and explain it to her.
"Well… I know you don't want me to say this… but that's Black." Lily said. I'm pretty sure Slughorn heard but didn't say anything. Lily was the perfect shinning star of Potions after all.
"I know, I know. I already admitted it was a dumb thing to do. I just… didn't expect him to just… not remember me." I sighed. "That makes me worse than Shannon."
"Shut up." Mary said, nudging me. "You are tons better than Shannon. I promise."
"Then why did he remember her and not me?" I asked bitterly. Mary didn't say anything. It made me feel almost more pathetic than I felt already.
Finally, class ended and I was about to leave when my book bag decided to completely spill out onto the floor. Mary and Lily turned around to help, but I just waved them off.
"I'll be there soon."
The rest of the classroom emptied out, and I'd collected most of what had spilled out of my bag.
"You forgot this…" I whipped around to see Sirius Black standing in front of me with an amused face. What was he holding – oh Merlin.
I snatched the tampon he was holding out of his hand and glared at him.
"Oooh. Touchy." He said. It sounded as if he was trying to be suave and banter with me, but it ended up coming out hurt, as he looked at his shoes.
I stuffed the stupid tampon into my bag and turned to leave.
"McKinnon…" he said, grabbing my hand and stopping me from leaving. I turned around.
"What?" I spat out with as much venom as I could muster. He was wearing his uniform, but his hair was especially messed up today. He had bed head, I imagine. And for some reason it was completely and utterly attractive…
No! No, no, no! Sirius Black was a complete bone-headed, cerial-snogger, tottie trouser snake PRAT!
"I… well, I…"
"That's what I thought." I said bitterly, yanking my hand away from him. His eyes looked hurt and a bit angry, and I had to turn around and walk away as fast as I could to stop snogging the life out of him.
Lily's Book
(Marlene McKinnon)
"This is so weird!" Mary said. We were sitting in the Gryffindor common room after Sirius Black had decided to stare so hard at me that Mary told him to kindly fuck off. He'd run up to his room like a bloody girl, and we were finally in peace.
"What is? And why are you even reading about that prick's family anyway?" I asked, staring over at the enormous book she was reading titled "The Noble House of Black".
"Because!" she huffed. "I'm Black's partner for that History of Magic project, and I don't want to get a bad group work grade. Besides, reading about his family is like reading a soap opera!"
"If it's about him, I think it's a load of rubbish." I sniffed.
"Seriously, look. Prina Black had eighteen different affairs before dying at the 'ripe, old age of 54'! Then there's Hestia and Gregory Black, who were actually cousins, but married and had children anyway!"
"That sounds…cool, I guess?" I said, pretending to be un-interested. The truth was I wondered a lot about Black's family.
After a while of Mary spitting out tidbits about Mr. Giant Prick's family, she retired to bed. Sometime after that Lily came in after prefect patrol, and we talked for a while.
"Alright Marls, I'm going to bed. I love you." Lily said, hugging me. A book fell out of her bag as she walked away.
"Oh Lily! You dropped – " I said, but she was already up the stairs. I picked up the book. On the cover were a bloke with an eight pack and a woman with shiny hair. The title red: "A Rogue Proposal".
After reading a few pages, I was speechless. It was essentially like reading tasteful porn. It was hilarious that Lily, of all people, would have this book.
I considered stopping, but decided against it. Hell, I was heartbroken and horny. And who's to say that Edwardo and his eight pack couldn't fix that?
He came towards me like he meant business. In a fitted black tuxedo, his muscles were bulging out, making me wet with anticipation…
"…I moaned his name as I reached climax? What the fuck Jelly?" a voice said from behind me. I whipped around frantically closing the book and came face to face with none other than James Potter.
"What?" I said, sitting on the book so he wouldn't see it. He just smirked.
"Nothing Jelly… I just didn't think of you as the type of girl to read such a naughty book!" He said, roaring with laughter.
"Why not?" I said, jumping up.
"You're just… you're so…" James said, trying to find the words and still laughing.
"Well, for your information, this book is Lily's." I said smugly. He suddenly stopped laughing and just looked dumbstruck.
"Um… I'll just… leave you to… yeah." He said, walking out of the room slightly dazed. Poor guy.
As he left, I just returned to the book. Hey, don't judge me! I was actually getting into it.
The plot line! Get your head out of the gutter!
(Sirius Black)
I lay sulking in my room that night. I hadn't realized I'd been staring at her; MacDonald didn't have to be such a bitch about it.
I stared blankly at a piece of parchment that was supposed to be a Transfiguration essay. Moony sat at his little study table, scribbling madly. Wormtail was on the floor in the corner with an assortment of muffins in his lap, courtesy of the Hogwarts House Elves.
All seemed normal.
Then James came wandering into the dorm, a dumb look on his face.
"What the bloody hell Prongs? Did Evans finally lose her senses?" I joked. He just stared at me.
"McKinnon is down in the common room reading porn."
"What?" Moony and I both shrieked. What? Marlene? Reading… that? I suddenly jumped from my bed and out of the dorm.
My heart sped up, as I got closer to the common room. Was she… what could she have been… what was happening?
I don't really know what I'd planned on doing, but I ended up tripping on the last step and falling flat on my face.
A red-faced Marlene looked over at the couch disapprovingly.
"Did James tell you I was reading porn?" she asked, cavalier.
I didn't say anything. It seems like I never have anything to say to her anymore.
She just got up off the couch and came over to where I was now standing.
"Stop." she said rather forcefully, looking me straight in the eye.
"Stop what?" My voice sounded weird when I said it, as it was uncommon to her ears or something.
"Stop staring at me all the time. If you've got something to say… just say it." She said, staring back at me, her blue eyes burning, as if she was daring me to say something controversial.
This was it. You should tell her how you feel! Now!
"I've got nothing to say."
Prat.
She looked at me. Disappointment flashed across her face before putting on a look of utter disgust.
"Fine then. I'll ask you to kindly get out of my way." she asked.
"No." I said dumbly. What did you say that for!
"Why not?" She asked impatiently.
"Because I want you to stop acting unpleasant to me." I said, staring at her right back. I don't know why I couldn't just tell her how I felt… it was like there was some filter inside me that never let the things that should be said come out.
She looked at me for a while in silence. I could see her face getting angrier and angrier, but I stood my ground.
"So you really expect me to just go back to the way it was before I verbally assaulted you? Before you insulted me? Before you kissed me and then promptly FORGOT IT?" she yelled, her voice getting louder and louder. "Yes Black, you snogged me. NOT the other way around. I'll admit, I should have been smarter than to get attached to you. But I can honestly tell you, I can't just be your friend. I can't watch as you parade around with girls who aren't me. So NO, I won't pretend like things are just fine just to spare YOUR FEELINGS OR GUILT!" She yelled, and ran away.
I flopped onto the couch. Why did all my fights with her have to be her running away before I could say my piece?
Wait… did she say she was attached to me? For a second my heart soared. But then it plummeted back down, realizing that even if she had been, she definitely wasn't anymore.
I trudged up to bed, feeling even shittier than I had before.
"Oi, Padfoot! Did you see anything?" Wormtail asked as soon as I entered. Moony and Prongs were laughing until they saw my face.
"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled, falling into bed.
Diggory
(Marlene McKinnon)
I've really got to stop having deep screaming fights with Sirius.
I mean Black.
"…because for at least a solid two weeks after them, he'll stare at you so intensely that by the end, you'll just be a puddle of human pathetic-ness!" I explained to Lily that day while we were studying in the library. Or, rather, Lily was studying. I was kind of spacing out and ranting about Black.
"Well…" she said distractedly. "We're on… what is it? Day four?"
"Yes." I said, slumping down in the leather chair I was sitting in. I hated the library, It was too quiet for my liking.
"And we'll be leaving for break in…"
"Nine days. Yes, I know Lily." I sighed. Lily was the voice of reason, after all.
"So just ignore him. It'll get better, I promise." she said, finally looking up from her book and patting my knee. She then pulled away and moved her legs up under her on the chair.
"Ok. I trust you." I said. A soft scuffle came from the entrance to the library admitting the devil himself.
What was he doing in the library? Wasn't this a freak of nature?
He was wearing his uniform, but his shirt was un-tucked and his tie wasn't straight. He wasn't even holding books. For some reason, a river of annoyance and anger ran through my blood when he came in.
He looked around and locked eyes with me. Giving me one of those bloody stares again are you Black?
And with that I stared him down. I hoped my eyes were showing the complete anger that I felt at this moment. Blue eyes fought gray. I saw out of the corner of my eye Lily staring back and forth between us, but I refused to break my eye contact. He might as well get a taste of his own fucking medicine.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally looked away. Ha! Doesn't feel too good, does it Black? I kept my eyes on him as he walked away to Remus' corner table and sat down, glaring at Remus' chuckling and shaking of his head.
I turned back to Lily, who just shook her head. I picked up one of her books she had on the table and attempted to read. Lily suddenly looked up again.
"Marls! Marlene! Marlene!" she hissed at me.
"What?" I said, glaring at her from above my book. I'd actually started to get into it.
"Is that Amos Diggory walking this way?" she said, grinning ear to ear.
I looked to the entrance just to have Lily spit out "Don't looook! Oh Merlin, Marlene."
Just as she said that, Diggory reached our table. "Hi." he said, looking at me in this weird way I couldn't quite place.
"Hi!" Lily said, a little too excitedly. I just smiled blandly at him.
Honestly, I didn't really know Diggory at all. I knew he was that gorgeous seventh year from Hufflepuff that played Quidditch, but that's it. This was the first time he'd ever spoken to me.
"Hello." I said, trying to smile bigger.
"So… Marlene, I was just wondering if you would like to come with me to the last Hogsmeade trip before winter break?" He said, flashing that perfect, pearly smile that I've heard Lily gush about practically a thousand times back in fifth year.
Now that I think about it… he is quite attractive. He's got light brown hair that looks a bit darker than Remus', and nice brown eyes. He obviously had a good body because of Quidditch and all, and I heard that he got almost all Os on his OWLs…
"Marlene?" He said, bringing me back to reality. It was weird, even though I hadn't replied yet, he didn't look a bit nervous. For some weird reason this kind of put me off, and I didn't know why.
"I'd love to." I said. What the hell, I had to start getting over Sirius somewhere. And Amos Diggory was not a bad place to start…
"Great." He said, and strode away.
"Oh my god!" Lily nearly shrieked, warranting a signature, annoyed "constipated" face from Pince.
"What? It's not a big deal. It's just a date." I said, shrugging.
"A date with bleeding Amos Diggory!" she said, looking so excited she might wet herself. I wish I could be that excited.
"Yeah. I'm excited, I've got a date with Amos Diggory!" I said, trying to convince myself more than her.
"It's ok Marls." she said, closing her book and standing up. "I'm sure you're just recovering from shock."
She then picked up her bag and proceeded to smooth out hear skirt and leave the library. I unconsciously turned my head to where Sirius was sitting.
It was weird. He was staring at me, sure. But his face was totally expressionless. I hate to sound so… vain, I guess, but I wished he'd been angry by Amos Diggory talking to me.
He wasn't. So I calmly gathered my things and followed Lily out of the library. While Lily was chattering away about what I should wear, my heart felt heavy. I would never admit it, but I'd wondered why it wasn't Sirius and I going.
But then I remembered the reason why I was going out with Diggory anyway. Diggory wanted me.
Sirius didn't.
(Sirius Black)
I tore out of the library without a thought of Remus' protest to me shoving his books to the floor or Pinces' incessant disapproving glances and "shhhhhhhhh!"s.
What the fuck? Diggory? My Marlene was going out with… Diggory!
I got into the hall and then realized I had Herbology in an hour. It wouldn't do to go all the way back to the dorms.
Instead, I paced back and forth, my head spinning. I was angry. Angry at Diggory, angry at her for making me feel this way…
But mostly angry at myself.
How could I have not remembered Marlene McKinnon? Marlene McKinnon was a raging fire that swept through a person. She made me feel alive, and her skin burnt me. Why couldn't I have grow some balls and told her that I wanted her. Maybe then she wouldn't be running off to snog Diggory all over Hogsmeade.
Oh Merlin, I needed to break something. To crack, punch, or kick… something to get rid of this anger.
What if I had to watch them snog? Marlene would forget all about me, and move on to the heroic Amos Diggory.
I heard a cracking noise and a spring of pain shot up my arm from my right hand, and I realized I'd punched a wall. To my surprise, the wall seemed to magically seal up where I'd cracked it.
All my anger had flooded out, and I just felt shitty. I heard Remus calling my name somewhere far away.
I just sat against the wall and shut my eyes. I hated everything.
"Come on mate." I heard Remus' voice suddenly say in front of me, I opened my eyes, and he grabbed my hand to pull me up. The pain came back.
"Mate…" Remus said disapprovingly, but quickly said, "episky", and I felt my bones snap back into place.
Remus just stood across from me, staring at me looking confused about what to say.
"If you're going to say this is my own fault, don't. I already know." I said quietly, picking up my bag I'd dropped on the floor a couple feet away.
"Let's just… talk about this later. We have Herbology soon, we might as well get down to the Greenhouses." he said, walking towards the doors out.
I sighed and reluctantly followed him.
(Remus Lupin)
I can honestly say that I had not been this was the happiest I had ever been in a long time. Doe and I had been sitting in courtyard, discussing the plot line of How To Kill A Mockingbird, one of our favorite muggle fiction books, when she randomly kissed me on the mouth. She pulled away and just laughed at my dumbfounded face.
"Why'd you do that?" I asked, bewildered.
"I dunno…" she said, getting embarrassed. "I guess I just wanted to. Is that a problem?"
But instead of doing what I always do, analyzing everything, I just kissed her back. And there we were, just sitting in the courtyard, kissing. It was perfect.
Mmmmm her neck smelled amazing. Like lavender, a flowery smell. She threaded her hands through my hair. I kissed her neck, sucked it, licked it… and suddenly, without thinking, I just bit down.
"Ow! Remus!" Doe said, clutching her neck. I froze. I couldn't believe it.
I'd bit her. I'd bit her. I'd bit her.
It just kept running through my head. I thought this could work… but it couldn't.
I was nothing more than a monster.
We stared at each other for about 30 seconds, before I finally lost it and I just ran. Back through the castle and up the stairs to the dorm. James was sitting in the dorm when I burst up the stairs and flung myself onto my bed.
"Oi! Moony, what the fuck are you doing here?" James said to the back of my head as I buried my head into my pillow. "What if I had been entertaining a woman in here and you just burst in on an intimate moment?"
If it had been any other time, I would have sat up and simply said, "Prongs, you wouldn't ever do that. And if you ever did, Padfoot and I were sincerely hex your balls off." But I was too far upset to even snicker at his comment.
"Seriously Moony, what's wrong?" He said. When I didn't turn over, he started poking my back with his wand and saying, "Moony. Moony. Moony. Moony…" incesently until I finally turned over. "So… what?" He asked.
"I bit Doe." I said, my body literally sagging into the mattress in depression.
"…oh." was all he could say. We were silent for a while before he finally said, "well, at least it wasn't on a full moon right?" with a half-hearted smile.
"Seriously?" I asked him in disbelief. "This is the time when you tell me something reassuring. And that's the thing you thought would be best to say?"
He sighed. "Moony, it was just a mistake…"
"No! It wasn't! I told you, I'm a monster!" I yelled at him.
I'd bit her. I'd bit her… oh Merlin I'd bitten her!
"Moony, stop. I know you've gotten it into your head somewhere that because of your furry little problem, you can't be happy. Well, I say that's rubbish. That's just rubbish, and you know it." James said, pulling me to a seated position.
"No Prongs, you don't understand." I said, looking at the ground and trying to explain myself. "I tried to stop myself before. I'd almost kissed her on Halloween, but didn't I tried to convince myself that she was just a girl, just a friend. But then I ended up kissing her down by the lake… I couldn't stop myself. And after that, I thought it might work… but look at where that got me. I bit her."
"Where?" he asked.
"What?"
"where did you bite her?" he asked again. I sighed.
"On the neck…" I trailed off, attempting not to think of her smooth, silky neck…
"Well Moony mate she probably thought you were just attempting to give her a hickey! Yes, it's probably fine…" He said, trying to work it out. "I know you get… erm… more excited before a full moon…" he said, trying not to laugh.
"Prongs, that's not the point." I said, stopping him. "I proved to myself that I could not be trusted with another human being. I simply… can't."
"That's bullshit. And I know you don't want to her this, but I have to ask you… what are you going to say to her when she asks why you took off?"
I groaned. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Well, I don't think Padfoot's going to Hogsmeade. Says he's got 'too much work to do'. but you and I both know better. You two can stay and be the lovesick bastards you are." Prongs said, trying to make the situation bright.
"Still pretending he's not cut up about McKinnon is he?" I asked, exasperated.
"Yes. It's strange, Padfoot being so hung up on a girl." Prongs said.
Girls Suck
(Remus Lupin)
"Moony? What are you doing here?" Padfoot exclaimed, walking into the common room, which was being solely occupied by me.
"Didn't Prongs tell you? I'm not going to Hogsmeade." I said almost on edge.
"Oh. Is it cause of…"
"Yes." I snapped. I exhaled. "Sorry. I'm not mad at you… just…"
"At the situation." He said, plopping down on the leather couch next to me. "I understand."
Neither of us talked for a while after that. We just sat side by side, staring into the fire, consumed in our own thoughts.
Minutes turned to hours, and before we knew it, Lily burst through the portrait hole, with James following.
"Lily, wait! I'm sorry! Just…" James said. She was positively fuming with anger, and stomped up to her dorm.
He stood there forlornly for a few minutes, before slumping down on my other side.
"So how was Hogsmeade?" Padfoot asked, sounding resentful.
"Spiffing." James said, equally as bitter.
"So… um… did you… did you see…" Padfoot started, trying to sound uninterested, but Prongs and I both knew what he was trying to ask.
"Yes, Jel – I mean, McKinnon and Diggory were at the Three Broomsticks. You've got nothing to worry about Padfoot, she didn't seem to interested in whatever bullshit he was saying." Prongs said.
Padfoot sighed, trying his best to cover up being relieved.
"Girls suck." Prongs said, and got up to go into our dorm. Padfoot and I followed, knowing that the girls would be out soon.
"You can't avoid her forever." Padfoot said, as we got up to the dorm only to hear the girls coming back in the common room.
"You're one to talk." I replied, and we both were silent after that.
(Dorcas Meadows)
The night before we all left for winter vacation, the girls and I were huddled on the floor of our dorm, cocooned in blankets and leaning against the wall. Thank god boys never came up here, it was a dump usually.
Lily's side is always nice, with the occasional stray object. But Marlene and Mary are another story. Their clothes are always everywhere, along with pencils, pens, coats, shoes, paper, wrappers, pads, tampons, various bottles of products, and other things. Their mess usually overflowed into my area, not that I really minded. While they were bordering on packrats, nothing of mine was on the floor, yet I almost never knew where any of my things were.
The room was always this cold and empty before a vacation. I don't know why, but the mess of the room was a constant. Reassuring, a point of normalcy, no matter what else was happening in our lives.
But here we were. Cuddled together in the only empty corner of our room. If anyone was to survey this situation, they would look quizzically at us and wonder if there were beds in the room, why were we on the floor? And to tell the truth, I don't know why. I guess we all just wanted to be close to each other that night.
"Guys?" Marlene said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" Lily answered back. Lily's head was in Marlene's lap, and Marlene was playing with her hair. Mary was leaning against the wall, and I was sitting against the closest bed's post.
"I miss Sirius." she said, looking away. "I'm mad at him, and I'm upset and he's such an asshole and I wish with all my heart I didn't feel this way. But I do."
Lily took a deep breath. "What about Amos?"
"I don't know." Marlene said honestly, leaning her head back and hitting the wall. "I guess… It just… felt nice to be wanted."
We were quiet for a while, before Mary turned to me.
"What happened between you and Remus? You guys are never together anymore." she asked.
"You guys have to not laugh ok?" I asked them. They all nodded seriously. "So… we were kissing in the courtyard right? So then he starts kissing my neck and it's all fun and nice…"
"And?"
"And then… yeah, he… he kind of, um… bit me." I blurted out. They were silent for two seconds before they all erupted in laughter. I looked around at them in anger, but then I cracked a smile.
"Um… was it hot?" Mary said after regaining her composure. Lily and Marlene looked like their faces were about to split if they smiled any bigger.
"Well… I dunno… it was strange." I said, now embarrassed.
"How?" Lily said, sitting up, collecting her red hair and twisting it to one side and laying it on her right shoulder.
"It was hard. It felt kind of like an animal bite. And then he just stared at me… and bolted." I explained. It was the first time I'd actually admitted that it'd happened.
"I'm sure he's just embarrassed or something!" Mary said nicely. "I don't think it's anything to worry about."
"But he hasn't talked to me. In fact, besides class I haven't seen him at all since it's happened." I said, fiddling with a string on my pajama pants.
"It'll work out." Lily said, putting her hand on my knee. I smiled.
"What about you and James?" I asked, teasing. Well, she thought it was teasing. Secretly, I was partly serious.
"HA!" Lily said a little too loudly. "That would never happen in a million years! He's a total prat, and I can't stand him!"
"You know what?" Marlene asked, looking at Lily.
"What?"
"I bet you by the time you graduate Hogwarts, you will totally fall in love with him. Just watch!" she said, laughing hysterically.
"Yeah right!" Lily said, laughing. It sounded slightly forced though.
"And you'll get married and have a little baby boy that has your hair and James' eyes and you'll be a perfect little family!" Mary said, barely managing to get it out from laughing too much. I was practically dying myself.
"Oh shove it!" Lily yelled, laughing herself a bit. "I would never marry Potter, much less have his child!"
Marlene and I just shared a look at laughed some more.
"Whatever you say!" Mary sing-songed. After that we continued talking about various things until they all fell asleep.
I lay in the dark, listening to Marlene's familiar soft snoring and Mary shifting in her sleep, I sighed. As much I loved home, I couldn't deny that at Hogwarts, I definitely felt safer. Freer.
I awoke the next morning tired and sore. Marlene and Mary were gone when I woke up, and Lily was laying curled up next to me. I smiled.
"Lil. Lils. Lil." I said softly as I prodded her. "Lily."
She opened her eyes, looked around, and then smiled at me. At that moment, I just had to ask.
"How come you all are suddenly being nice to me?" We both cringed at my tone. "Sorry. That didn't mean that to come out that way, it's just-"
"I understand." Lily said, cutting me off. "I don't know. We just thought that it's a shame we've lived so long with you, and you've always been kind of distant. But we thought, it's better late then never."
"Yeah. Sorry, I have always been kind of a loner, but I really do appreciate our friendship. And I feel like we've become really close this semester." I said, fiddling with my hands.
She sat up next to me. "We have. I'm really glad we're all friends." She patted my hands and then stood up. "Look, I'm going down to breakfast now. You should soon if you want anything, because the train's leaving soon."
I nodded. She smiled and went to leave, but stopped in front of my bed. She knelt down and pulled something out from under the bed.
"I think this is yours…" she said, dropping Remus' sweater in my lap. I grabbed the sweater and moved it through my hands, feeling the wool. When I looked up again she was gone.
Going against the part of myself saying that you shouldn't keep it, I stuffed it into my bag and hurried down to breakfast.
Remus wasn't at breakfast again, and I almost caught him on the train, but he went into the prefect compartment. He was definitely avoiding me.
Now I was sitting with the girls in the compartment two from the back.
"Guys!" Mary practically yelled. She had her legs tucked up under her and was reading that enormous book about the Black family. I wished she would stop reading that. I think it was bothering Marlene.
"What?" Lily asked.
"Black's dad had an affair!" The entire compartment was quiet.
"Are you sure that's true?" Marlene asked. She'd stopped feigning disinterest. Mary nodded, sobered by the fact that this was real, not just a plot in a book.
"It says so right here. Look, 'Alfred Black had an affair with a half blood, but it got all hushed up until a source from inside the Black family informed me of this. The baby was put up for muggle adoption and never spoken of again'". Mary said.
Marlene looked like she was about to say something before the compartment door was opened by Amos Diggory.
"Hello." he said, smiling all of us. His smile fell a bit when he realized he'd walked in on something.
"Hi Amos." Marlene said, almost sounding exasperated.
"Can I sit with you?" he asked.
"Here, take my seat." Lily said, getting up. "I have to discuss something with the other… erm… prefects." she smiled at a nervous Amos, and closed the door.
Amos sat right down next to Marlene and draped his arm over her shoulder. She shifted a bit, as if deciding whether to get up or stay put.
But she stayed.
The rest of the ride was alright, I guess. Mary ate her weight in chocolate frogs, and I finished Waiting For Godot, a muggle play I found accidentally in Lily's bags, and she'd let me keep it.
When we got to the station, I jumped out of the train as fast I could to catch Remus before he left. I even went in front of the prefect compartment. But he wasn't there.
Where had he gone? Was he really that embarrassed?
I felt a hand pressing on my shoulder. I whipped around, only to almost slam into my father.
"Hi dad." I said. He smiled.
My father was a skinny guy. People always thought he was younger than he was because of it. He had the same color hair as me, but he had light green-ish blue eyes. He had crooked teeth, and he had really bushy eyebrows.
"Hi honey." He said, hugging me lightly.
"Have you gotten skinnier?" I joked, handing my trunk to him.
"Are you kidding?" He asked, laughing. "I was 206 when you left and now I'm… wait for it… 208!"
"Really? You're a regular giant!" I said, smiling. I forget how much I miss my dad until I see him again.
My dad is a squib. Everyone thinks I'm a pureblood, and I guess I am, but people always look down on my dad. He isn't really part of the magical world, but he isn't really part of the muggle world either.
We walked outside into the burning sun, and got into my dad's flying car.
He can't apparate.
I flopped into the car after shoving my trunk in the trunk. My dad sat down and closed the door and turned to me.
"Ready?" he asked. Ever since I was a child sitting in the back, pressing my grubby nose to the glass and watching clouds fly by, he always asks this.
"Of course." I reply, and I smile.
(Remus Lupin)
As I watched her exit Kings Cross with a man who I assumed was her father, I felt like shit. I knew avoiding her was foolish, but I was worried. Worried that I might kiss her or something, and that couldn't happen. It just couldn't.
"Really Moony? The invisibility cloak?" Padfoot said, staring at me. I pulled off the cloak.
"How did you – " I started to ask, but he just held up the Marauder's map. "Oh."
Right at that moment, Amos and Marlene stepped out of a compartment. Marlene seemed to be about to go, but Amos pulled her in and kissed her deeply. Marlene pulled away and smiled at him, and then went to go find her parents.
I turned to look at Padfoot, whose jaw was clenched. We stood looking at each other for what seemed like a minute, and then he abruptly looked away.
"So you're still coming over to Prongs' for Christmas, right?" he asked.
"'Course." I reply, and he turns and walks over to James' parents.