Chapter 4 – LA
It was surprising to Miley how fast time flew. It was already nearing the end of October. She had been staying busy. A significant amount of her time outside of school was spent with Lilly and Oliver, though they themselves were busy people. Lilly had soccer practice several days a week, and Oliver was involved in more after school clubs and extracurricular activities than Miley could name. They both suggested for her to be more active at Seaview, but nothing really caught her interest.
When she wasn't hanging out with Lilly and Oliver, she was writing music or spending time with Jackson or down at the beach. She had already completed five songs in the three months that she'd been in Malibu. She was humming new melodies all the time. Lyrics were buzzing around her head with every solo walk along the beach. The music was pouring out of her. She could feel it inside her. It was alive.
She was in the middle of writing a new song when her father called her for the first time since she had left LA. He told her that people were getting concerned over the disappearance of Hannah, and too many reporters were becoming suspicious of the rehab rumor's falseness. To comfort her fans and keep true to all of Hannah's legal contracts, she would need to appear at a few events: a mainstream gossip magazine photo shoot and interview, a cable televised award show where she would be a nominee in two categories and a surprise performer, and a small charity concert in LA that would make headlines but not "overwhelm her recovering mental health".
Despite not having a choice, she agreed to the three events. Performing her music was always something she loved doing, even if she had to be Hannah to do it. They were still fans of her music, listening to her perform. The interview and photo shoot would be painless; she'd done hundreds of both before. The award show would be the difficult task to accomplish. That one would require her spending time with celebrities that would fake their concern for her and lie about their happiness of seeing her recovering well. Then an after party would take place where she would be thrown into a mix of bitter socialites, fame-hungry wannabes, and drunken musicians whose eyes would always be blinded by the flashing lights.
The events would take up two consecutive weekends. She had no idea what explanations she would give Lilly and Oliver, and she feared that her sudden trips out of town and Hannah's sudden and brief return to the spotlight would be far too coincidental.
There were times when she worried that Lilly would figure out her secret. She had once said to Miley, after meeting her as Hannah in Boston, that she reminded her of someone she had met.
Back in the middle of September, Lilly had been listening to one of Hannah Montana's songs on her iPod while she was doing some homework. Miley could see her own picture on the screen across the table. She could hear the faint sounds of her music and her voice. She had stared, horrified, as Lilly slowly stopped tapping her pen on the paper and had, even slower, looked up at Miley. They had stayed like that for a few moments, until Lilly took the headphones out her ears and asked her to pass the chips. Not a word about Hannah Montana was mentioned.
"Are we still on for the movies tomorrow night?" Lilly asked as Miley joined her at her locker.
"Unfortunately, no. Something came up."
"Aw, like what?"
"I have to go see my dad in LA."
Lilly glanced carefully at Miley. If she knew anything for certain about the girl, it was that she and her father did not get along well. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, it's just a visit." Miley shrugged. It was hard to lie to Lilly, it left her feeling uneasy.
"We can reschedule the movies." Lilly smiled. "Megan Fox will be just as hot next weekend."
"I'll be busy. I've got a thing." Mentally slapping herself, Miley vowed to start having a collection of believable backup stories ready at all times.
Lilly closed her locker and gave Miley a peculiar side-eye look. "A thing? For the whole weekend?"
"Yeah, a thing. But maybe we can catch the movie during the week?"
"We'll figure something out." Lilly answered distractedly. Her eyes were staring down the hall. Miley turned around to see what it was and found herself face to face with Mikayla.
"Hey there, Southern Belle." Mikayla's smile was innocent and polite, but her eyes were mischievously glancing over Miley's shoulder to Lilly. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I have to say, I didn't take you as a Megan Fox kind of girl. And we all know she's definitely not Lilly's type. She's more into Hispanic women. Or rather, it was a Hispanic woman who she liked in her. Look at that, works both ways."
Lilly stepped forward to Miley's side. With a low voice, she nearly growled. "Mikayla, stop."
"Chill out. I'm just making casual conversation to my friend here. Isn't that right? Hey, do you ride horses? I've always had this fantasy of fucking a cowgirl." Mikayla winked at Miley. "Do you ride?"
Lilly scoffed. "Stereotyping much? Just because she's from Tennessee, that doesn't mean she knows how to ride a horse."
Miley cleared her throat. "My horse's name is Blue Jeans."
Mikayla laughed and directed herself completely to Miley, ignoring Lilly's presence. "Cute. Where is she?"
"He is back in Tennessee."
"I bet you look good riding a horse."
Lilly crossed her arms. "Excuse me."
Mikayla, still ignoring Lilly, kept her eyes firmly on Miley. "Then again, I bet you look good riding a lot of things."
Miley raised an eyebrow. "Have anything specific in mind?"
She smirked and lifted her hand in front of her, suggestively moving her first and middle fingers. "I can think of one or two things."
At seeing how amused Miley was, Lilly stepped between the two girls. "Sorry to interrupt, but we don't want to be late for class."
Mikayla slowly, and as seductively as possible, lightly licked the tip of her middle finger while lowering the rest of her fingers so that she was flipping off Lilly.
Lilly groaned and pulled Miley by the arm away and down the hall. "What the hell was all that?"
"She's just trying to bother you, Lilly." Miley pointed out as they headed in a direction that neither of their classes was in.
"Why do you let her flirt with you like that?"
"Like what?"
"You practically encourage it."
"I do no such thing."
"Uh, yeah, you do. I literally just watched the whole thing. I bet you look so good riding horses. Ugh, please. She is so annoying."
"Are you saying I wouldn't look good riding a horse?"
"You're totally missing the point here."
"What's the point?"
"That we hate her!"
"Um, you hate her. She's never done anything to me for me to hate her."
Lilly abruptly stopped. "So it doesn't bother you that she's flirting with you just to annoy me?"
Miley shrugged. "It shouldn't bother you. I mean, it's not like we're dating or anything."
Lilly anxiously looked around them and dropped her voice to a whisper. "That doesn't mean I can't be jealous that she's flirting with you."
"You know, I'm really starting to be confused on where we stand with each other. We never talked about the kiss, and I think that we should."
"That was months ago."
"I know, but it happened and we never talked about it."
"Well, what do you want to say about it?" Lilly's eyes darted down to Miley's lips.
"I don't know." Miley couldn't stop herself from looking at Lilly's lips too. "I guess I'm glad we both decided that it happened way too fast, and I'm glad we took the time to really become friends and get to know each other better."
"But?"
"But…like you said, it was months ago."
"What are you trying to say here?"
Miley groaned and looked around. They were alone in the hallway. "I don't know. I guess, I'm just wondering where we stand. Like, you know, was it a one-time thing or are we still taking the time to be friends first or are we just completely friends now or…what do you think?"
Lilly leaned on the row of lockers behind her. The late bell rang, but both girls wanted to finish this particular conversation. "What would you say…if I said that I don't know what will happen between us?"
"I would probably ask what do you want to happen with us."
"And I would probably say that I don't know."
Miley bit her bottom lip. "Listen, we don't have to make any decisions right now. But it would be nice to know if you're jealous about Mikayla flirting with me because you want to be with me…or because you want to be with Mikayla."
"I don't want Mikayla." Lilly looked shocked that such a thing would ever be considered. "Miley, look, I told you a long time ago that I can't be in a relationship. And I really don't want to have a secret one. That wouldn't be fair to either of us."
"So, basically what you're saying is that you want to keep leading me on until there's an ultimatum made about a relationship. Pretty much exactly what you did to Mikayla?" Miley felt bad about what she was saying but she knew that it was time for answers.
Lilly's jaw fell. "What I did to her? She tried to label me and out me and embarrass me—no, humiliate me. I trusted her. She said she would never tell anyone. She lied, that's what she does. I never wanted a relationship with her; I made that clear from the beginning. She was too stubborn and self-absorbed to realize that coming out isn't easy for everyone. I don't want to label myself. I definitely can't be anything other than straight to my parents, especially my dad. Her arrogant, entitled ass doesn't know how I feel or what I go through. She had no right to do what she did to me. And now she harasses me every chance she gets. She's hurt, I understand that, but so am I. I don't deserve for her to treat me like this just because I don't live my life how she wants me to."
They stood in silence for a few moments, letting everything that had been said settle in. Miley reached out and took Lilly's hand in hers. "I guess what we need to do is focus on our friendship. I don't want to lose that."
Lilly nodded. "And friends with benefits hardly ever work out. I don't think we should risk our friendship for something that neither of us will be really satisfied with."
"Okay, it's agreed on then. This friendship is now strictly platonic." Miley was disappointed but she knew that having Lilly as a friend was something she really needed.
"Strictly." Lilly agreed before they went their separate ways to class.
Miley and Jackson headed to LA first thing the next morning for the magazine interview and photo shoot. They planned on returning to Malibu Sunday night, after the award show. As soon as they got to their father's, and ultimately Hannah Montana's, overly extravagant house, Miley had to change into her Hannah outfit and wig. Looking into the mirror, she felt like she was looking at a stranger. She wasn't just looking at herself in a blonde wig and expensive clothes, she was looking at Hannah. She felt so separate from her.
It was so strange. She knew everything that Hannah was about. She knew exactly who Hannah was. But who was Miley? She was still trying to figure that one out. Hannah was meant to be a disguise, but she had worn the mask so much that she had forgotten what it had been hiding. In Malibu, she was closer to herself than she had been since creating Hannah. Lilly and Seaview were helping her rediscover herself, but sitting there looking at her blonde reflection, she began to wonder if there was really anything left to find.
The interview didn't last long. Her publicist and father (who fronted as her manager) told her not to answer the majority of them. The interviewer had become annoyed with their vagueness over Hannah's rehabilitation and mental state, so he ended it early. The following photo shoot went well. She had a knack for faking smiles.
They were done in time for an early dinner, for which she attended as Hannah. Her publicist wanted her to be seen in public. After a quiet meal, they went back to the house and Miley spent the rest of her night texting Lilly. When she awoke the next morning, she had enough time to shower and put on her wig before a trendy fashion designer and chatty clique of stylists arrived. They dressed her in a very elegant yet modern dress with expensive accessories that were subtle but guaranteed to be noticed. Hannah looked really nice. Happy and healthy, that's what they were going for, but it would be up to Miley to sell it. She ate a small lunch in the limo on the way.
The paparazzi and fans along the red carpet were ecstatic to see Hannah. They screamed her name, begging for her attention. She posed and moved along with a good pace. Much to the dismay of the camera crews and interviewers, Hannah talked to no one with a microphone. She went straight into the building and to her seat. She was on her phone, bored and checking Facebook, when someone tapped her shoulder.
She looked up to see Jake Ryan smiling at her. "Hey, stranger."
"Jake!" She jumped up and hugged him.
"Wow, you are different." He laughed. "Or maybe I'm just really zonked out right now. Either way, you look great. Fantastic. Really great. It's so good to see you. Like, really. It's been so long. Rehab, huh?"
"Thanks. I'm feeling a lot better. Are you doing something on stage tonight?"
"Yeah, yeah. Announcing a performance." He winked. "A secret performance."
"Wonder who that could be." She replied, looking around the audience. There weren't many seats left. It wouldn't be long before the show started.
"Just an old friend. You might know her." He smiled.
She smiled back. "I'll catch you at the after party."
An hour of the show went on before Hannah's first category came she lost, she gave a polite smile and clap for the winner until the camera was off her. Her father squeezed her hand reassuringly, something he hadn't done in years. In the second category, she won. She went up to the stage without a thought, but when the award was placed in her hands she realized she had no speech prepared. She walked to the mic and waited for the clapping to cease.
"Um, wow. This was really unexpected. I guess I really want to thank all of my fans. Y'all keep me going. I couldn't ask for better fans. I'd also like to thank everyone who has shown me support the past few months. It means the world to me. To all of my family and friends, thank you so much. I love y'all!"
After she had gone backstage for pictures, she went into the dressing room they had set up for her and changed into the outfit she would perform in. While she waited for them to come and get her, she checked her phone. She had two missed calls from Lilly. Nervously, she lifted the phone to her ear and called her back.
"Hey, sorry I missed your calls. What's up?" She watched the live feed of the show on the TV by the door as she talked.
Lilly cleared her throat. "Oh, you know, just chilling. Nothing much. Watching a little TV, texting Oliver, the usual. It's weird, he told me that I should change the channel to 3 and there's this award show on and, I don't know you probably get this a lot, but did you know that you and Hannah Montana are practically twins? I mean, you two look so much alike. And I know doppelgangers exist and all that, but you two even sound the same. I don't know if I ever told you, but I met Hannah Montana once. At a Tipton hotel in Boston before school started. And when I met you…you reminded me of her. Can you just tell me if I'm crazy or not here? I've been ignoring the connections, but I can't ignore this one. You go to LA the same weekend she gets out of rehab? Please, just tell me what's going on here."
The live feed went to commercial and a backstage worker knocked on the door to tell her that it was time.
"I have to go." She said, trying to keep herself together.
"Really, Miley? You have nothing to say about this? I really just need an answer; I'm driving myself crazy over here."
"Just…" Miley bit her lip and sighed. "…keep watching."
She hung up and followed the worker through the halls and up to the stage. A stylist put a few finishing touches on her while they moved the last of the props around. She could see Jake Ryan from the corner of her eye having his tie adjusted for him. He winked at her and walked out on the stage when the booming voice announced him.
"It is so great to be here tonight with all of you. The show has been so much fun so far, but it's about to get even better. Our next performer is someone who has broken records, stolen hearts, and set the bar for all those to come. Tonight she's here with a surprise performance just for us. Give it up for my dear friend…Hannah Montana!"
The curtain rose and the audience cheered. The cameras zoomed around her, looking for the best angles. The band started playing and as an automatic response she started singing. She felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. Like she was Miley watching Hannah perform. It didn't feel like her, but then again she didn't really know what feeling like herself meant anymore. The dance moves came on queue without thought. She was a robot on the stage. She didn't even realize she was smiling until she caught a glimpse of herself on the screen behind her. It scared her that she could be so out of touch with herself. So lost in the disguise. Hannah was taking over again and it terrified her.
She was sweaty and catching her breath when the song ended. She looked into the closest camera and knew that Lilly was in Malibu staring right back at her. She lifted the microphone to her lips. "I'd like to give a special thanks to all of the fans watching at home. Y'all showed me a lot of support while I've been away. I don't know what I would have done without you."
The moment she returned to the dressing room, Lilly called her. "Are you Hannah Montana?"
Miley sighed and pulled the blonde wig off her head. She stared at it in her hands. "I don't even know who I am anymore."
"Okay, well, I'm going to let you be vague right now because we're on the phone and you could potentially be backstage at an award show, but don't think we aren't discussing this the moment I see you again."
"Yeah, no. I got it. Completely understandable. I'll see you at school tomorrow."
Miley stripped herself of the Hannah outfit and took a cool shower. She daydreamed about what Lilly would say when she officially told her. There was no going back, she knew. Lilly was too clever and observant for that. She had probably known since their first meeting in Malibu. Who was she kidding, trying to go to public school and be Hannah was impossible. Everyone would find out eventually.
After the shower she put on an outfit that wouldn't draw too much attention to her but would still pass as something Hannah would wear. She had just put the wig back on when her father entered the room.
"Good job out there tonight." He scratched at his fake facial hair
"Thanks." She started applying her makeup for the after party.
He took a seat on the couch. "The show just ended. Got a little worried when you didn't come back out."
"I didn't feel well." She didn't look at him and kept her expression blank.
"Are you getting sick?"
"I don't know."
"I'll call the doctor in the morning."
"I have school tomorrow."
"Another day in LA won't kill you."
She swallowed hard. "It might."
He looked at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." She put on her lipstick and stood. "I'll go to the party for an hour, but Jackson and I are leaving tonight."
He watched her dig around her purse. "Don't forget about the concert next weekend."
She walked out without another word. The party was boring. Everyone was drunk and taking self-pictures with celebrities that were too nice or intoxicated to say no. She kept to herself until Jake Ryan arrived.
"Rad performance." He smiled. "And speaking of things that are rad, I got some killer shit with me. Bathroom?"
"Isn't that where you got caught the last time?" She laughed, almost as a reflex.
"Oh, dude, you're totally right. Uh, how about we find an empty room somewhere? There's gotta be a storage room around here somewhere. Want to go on an adventure with me?"
She was too bored to say no, so she followed him through a maze of halls until they found a family bathroom with a single toilet and sink. He declared it as "good enough". They locked the door behind them and he pulled out a small bag of cocaine from his pocket and started making lines on the baby changing station.
"Want some?" He asked.
"I'll pass. Been in rehab, remember?"
"Oh, shit, right, my bad. What were you in rehab for again?"
"Mental health stuff. Staying clean though."
He rolled up a hundred dollar bill and snorted a line. "I respect that. Can't say I'm as noble. I need something, you know? I can't take these people and their shit sober."
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
He did another line and jumped around the room. "That shit is so good."
"Hey, Jake?"
"Yeah?"
She waited until he stopped jumping around. "What would you do if you could live a normal life? Like, if you could be you but also go to a real school and not be famous. A double life."
"Hmmm." He scratched his chin. "I don't know. I guess I'd be even more bored than I already am."
She jumped up on the sink counter to sit. "Really? You wouldn't like it?"
He stepped closer to her. "The only thing I'm good at is being famous."
"You're good at acting. And you're a good friend."
He stepped even closer until they were inches apart. "What would you do with a double life?"
"Find something real worth living for."
"Dark shit." He whispered, slowly closing in the gap between them.
She gently put her hands on his shoulders and stopped him. "Jake, can you keep a secret?"
He stepped back. "Yeah, what's up?"
"I'm not in rehab." She watched him carefully. "I've been going to a public school. Under a different name with different hair color. No one knows it's me."
"Woah, really?" He smiled. "That's some James Bond shit. What's it like?"
"It's weird. In a good way, though. It's so strange to walk down a crowded hall of people your own age and feel anonymous. No one knows who are. No crowds asking for autographs, no pictures, no paparazzi. I have normal friends." She smiled. "And there's this girl, I guess she's my best friend. But tonight she found out I'm Hannah. I don't know what to do."
"If she's your best friend, tell her the truth." He started jumping around again. "She'll understand. Would she keep it a secret?"
"Yeah, I'm sure she would. It's just…what if things go bad between us? What if something happens and she tells people?"
"Get some insurance."
"Insurance?"
He shrugged. "Yeah, something you can blackmail her with. That's how I keep my connections quiet."
"Oh."
"Does she have anything you could use against her?" He asked as he started doing stretches.
"Well, yeah, but I could never do that to her. I can't blackmail someone."
"You'd be surprised what you'll do when you have no other choice."
"I guess."
He smiled and walked over to her again. He leaned in for a kiss but she stopped him again. "Why do you keep trying that?"
"Why do you keep stopping me?" He grinned.
"Because I don't want to kiss you."
"I respect that." He sighed. "But why? We're both friends, attractive, bored, and obviously pretty good at keeping secrets."
She thought about how easy it would be to like him. They really did get along well. He was a good guy. Even if he wasn't the smartest actor ever, he meant well and that counts for a lot. But the sexual attraction just wasn't there. She knew if she were straight, Jake would be the guy for her. "I like girls."
His face lit up. "Rad. Man, you are full of surprises. My twenty year-old cousin is a lesbian. Want me to slip you her number?"
"Thanks, but I'm good. And thanks for the advice. You really are a good friend, Jake."
"No problem. Now come be my wingman. This zombie slayer needs to get laid."
They were still laughing as they returned to the party. She gave him plenty of advice on which celebrity girls to go after and which to steer clear of. As soon as he left with one, she called her driver and went back to the house. Jackson was annoyed that she had spent longer at the party than she had planned, but they left for Malibu despite the late hour.
On Monday she went to school. She waited by her locker for Lilly's arrival. It was close to the bell by the time she showed up. Lilly led her outside to the back of the school. The bell was ringing when they stopped. "Talk."
Miley bit her lip. "It's true."
Lilly crossed her arms and leaned against the wall behind her. "So…you're really her? You're Hannah Montana?"
She glanced around them. "Yeah."
"When were you planning on telling me?"
"I wasn't going to."
Lilly looked hurt. "Why not?"
"It's a secret. A big one. You can't tell anyone, Lilly."
"I won't, but I still need some answers."
"That's fair." Miley nodded.
Lilly nervously played with her fingers. "What's your real name? Are you Hannah or are you Miley?"
"Miley Ray Stewart. Born and raised in Crowley Corners, Tennessee. I have a horse named Blue Jeans. My dad lives in Los Angeles, he's Hannah's manager. He's staying in the house she has there."
"Okay, this is going to sound really pretentious and arrogant, but are you in Malibu because of me? We met in Boston and I told Hannah—uh, you that I live here and go to school here. And then you came to school here. That's not a coincidence, right?"
"It sounds really stalkerish, but I met you and then I decided I wanted to go to a real school and try having a normal life. You were really nice, so I figured I'd try Seaview."
"And that's the complete truth?"
"Yes. I really needed a friend, and I wanted that friend to be you."
"So after graduation, you're just going to go back to being Hannah?"
"I haven't gotten that far yet. I want to go to college, but my life is full of contracts and legal obligations at the moment. I'm lucky I got this year off."
Lilly stared at the ground. Eventually, she looked up at Miley. "Is there anything else you've lied to me about?"
"No, but me being Hannah has to stay a secret. You can't tell anyone. Not even Oliver."
She nodded slowly. "I won't."
"I'm really sorry I lied to you."
"It's okay. I understand why you had to. I've had my suspicions. I mean, it's just a wig and some makeup." She cracked a smile. "And I'd recognize your voice anywhere."
"Do you think other people will figure it out too?"
"Nah, people around here are way too self-absorbed or just plain stupid. I love Oliver, but he'll never figure it out on his own. The boy is oblivious."
Miley pulled Lilly into a hug before they headed back into the school.
Before they parted, Lilly stopped. "So, this thing you're doing this weekend. What is it?"
"A charity concert thing." Miley answered, checking the time.
She grinned. "Do you think you could score me a ticket? Maybe a VIP backstage pass? I could go in disguise, get my very own cheap wig and makeup. No one would ever know it was me."
"Hey, that wig is not cheap." Miley laughed. "But yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. It'd actually be really nice to have a friend there."
By the end of the week, Miley had the ticket and pass and Lilly had a short purple wig and obnoxious makeup. So that Jackson and her father wouldn't find out that Hannah's "long-time friend Lola"was actually a girl who had discovered her secret, Miley decided to take the private jet. They arrived that Saturday a few hours before the show. Lola stayed with Hannah in the dressing room until it was time for her to take her front row seat. The opening acts went on and eventually so did Hannah.
She performed on autopilot, just like at the award show. She felt slightly better when she caught glimpses of Lilly smiling up at her from the crowd, but there was still something off. She couldn't help but think that performing had lost its touch. She wasn't enjoying herself. She wasn't even herself. Her stomach felt uneasy, her knees were weak. When the last song ended, she walked backstage. The backup dancers and musicians were walking past her. She hadn't realized how slow she had been moving. Her heart was beating fast. The edges of her vision were growing darker and darker. Suddenly she felt weightless.
Miley awoke to find herself laying down on a couch in the dressing room. Her father and her publicist were hovering over her. They helped her sit up and gave her a cup of water to sip from.
"What happened?" She asked.
"You fainted." Her father sighed, rubbing his temples. "Barely made it off the stage. One of the dancers caught you. Good thing too, or that noggin' would've hit the ground hard."
Her publicist smiled as comfortingly as she could. "No one saw, so we're in the clear with that. Just think, the bloggers would have had a field day. Hannah Montana Faints At Concert. What a nightmare that would be to deal with. So what is it, honey? Not eating? Drugs? Had a little something to drink before the show?"
"What? No. I'm not on anything." She groaned. Her stomach still felt uneasy.
"So you have no idea why you fainted?" Her father asked.
She leaned back on the couch. "Nope. Can I go to the house now?"
"I want a doctor to check on you first." He said, patting down his adhesive facial hair. "But before we bring anyone else in here, who is this?"
Confused as to who he was talking about, she turned to see Lilly standing by the wall with the purple wig in one hand and her backstage pass in the other. She gave a guilty smile and wave.
She turned back to her father. "My friend, why?"
"Well, we were bringing you back here and she came over and asked 'what happened to Miley'." He raised an eyebrow. "Miley."
"Okay, so she knows. It's not a big deal. She's my best friend. I couldn't keep it a secret from her forever."
"Now see this is exactly why I didn't want you going to a public school. I knew this would happen." He threw his hands up. "I knew it!"
"I want to go home." She tried to stand but stumbled back on to the couch.
"Take it easy." He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Wait until the doctor gets here."
"I feel better. I just want to go."
"Well, I'm worried about you so we're going to wait until a doctor checks you over."
"You never worry, why change that now."
He stopped and stared at her. "You know I worry about you. Got a few gray hairs coming in with your name on 'em." When she didn't reply, he kept going. "Listen here, I know I ain't Father Of The Year material, but I'm doing what I can. Sometimes I think you forget that you're the one who made Hannah. This is the life you wanted. The double life was all your idea."
"So you're blaming me for everything?"
"I ain't blaming you for anything. I'm saying you need to pull up your britches and take responsibility for the choices you've made. Now, I let you run off to Malibu to do public schooling. You were right; you needed some normality in your life. But sweetheart, Malibu ain't doing you any good. Fainting after a show? Being all irritable? All this anger you've had the last few years? That's not you. You need normal, but you need it where we know it. Tennessee."
"What about Tennessee?"
"That's where we're going. I've let this go on for far too long. We need our old Miley back, and Tennessee is the only place where we'll find her. California ain't done much for you, and I can see that now. We'll get Hannah's things in order and tell everyone she's taking some well-deserved time off. Then me, you, and your brother are heading home."
"No!" Miley yelled. "I like Malibu. You can't do this."
"You tried Malibu. I'm fed up with this, Miles. Tennessee seems to be the only option we got left. It'll be good for you, you'll see."
"For how long?"
"As long as it takes. Few months, maybe a year or two. That'd be real nice."
"I have school. I can't take that time off."
"You can go back to homeschooling and still get a diploma."
"No, I want to graduate at Seaview. I want to live in Malibu."
"We'll discuss this more later, but you're going to Tennessee regardless."
"I'll go over Thanksgiving break. That's a whole week."
"You're going to need a lot more than a week."
"Fine, I'll go back for Christmas break. That's two more weeks."
"Thanksgiving through Christmas break, at the minimum. No more negotiating, you need some rest."
Her father and her publicist both left to call a doctor and discuss things in the hallway. Lilly circled around the couch and sat next to her.
"Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly. "Sorry I blew my cover. I freaked out a little when I saw them carrying what looked like your lifeless body down the hall."
"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine." She leaned back and sighed.
Lilly went in search of a hand towel. She ran water over it and brought it back for Miley to put on her forehead.
"Well." Lilly laughed nervously. "At least the concert rocked."
Miley smiled. "Thanks for being here. I feel a lot better around you."
Lilly brushed back a stray lock of hair behind Miley's ear. "Did you mean it last weekend when you said that you don't know who you are anymore?"
"Yeah. I got a little lost in Hannah's world."
Lilly smiled softly. "Miley is one of the most intriguing, exciting, and attractive people I've met in a very long time. Maybe ever. You're special. I could tell from the moment I met you."
"When we met I was a heavily intoxicated celebrity wandering around a hotel in Boston." Miley laughed. "Of course that would intrigue you."
"No." Lilly reached over and held one of Miley's hands. She stroked the back of it softly with her thumb. "No, I meant when I met you. In Malibu. I knew you were special."
"I reminded you of someone famous."
"It's not about that. Fame has nothing to do with how I feel about you."
Miley didn't know how to respond, but she didn't have time to. The dressing room door opened and her father entered with a man that she assumed was some sort of medical professional. After he examined her and talked quietly with her father, they were able to leave and go to Hannah's LA house. Her father wasn't pleased about bringing Lilly, but at the insistence of Miley that it was too late for her to travel to Malibu, she was able to stay the night with them.
They had showered, removed their makeup, and changed into comfortable clothes by the time that Jackson returned home. He was upset that no one had called and told him about the fainting incident, but on the other hand he was glad because he wouldn't have gotten to second base if they had.
"This is the biggest house I've ever seen." Lilly said as she fell back on Hannah's unnecessarily large and fluffy bed. They were alone on their side of the house. The bedroom had soundproofing in the walls so that she could sing or play guitar or practice dance routines whenever she liked and wouldn't disturb anyone else in the house. They could be as loud as they wanted and no one would hear them. The thought turned Miley on, but she had to remind herself that she and Lilly were strictly platonic now.
"It's too much." Miley replied from across the room. She was sitting at the desk, slowly spinning herself in the Hannah Montana embroidered desk chair. The computer was on in front of her but the idea of Facebook or other social media sites bored her.
"Life of the rich and famous." Lilly mumbled, running her hands along the soft comforter.
Miley bit her lip. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows."
"Yeah, I can tell. Rainbows have never made me faint before."
"The doctor said I overexerted myself or something."
"Do you think that's what happened?"
"Maybe. I haven't performed that much in a while and I didn't even practice before, so it's a really good possibility. But I don't know, when I was on stage…it didn't feel like me. I know this sounds crazy, but it was like I was watching myself perform. Everything just sort of happened and I was just thinking about other things and I got really scared at one point and then I guess I blacked out."
"That sounds really scary."
"It was."
"I thought your dad was going to kill me." She laughed. "He looked so pissed when I accidentally called you Miley."
"Yeah. He doesn't want anyone to know my secret…but sometimes I don't know which secret that is."
"What do you mean?"
"Sometimes I think maybe he doesn't want the world to know he has a gay daughter. Sometimes I think he's embarrassed of the real me…whoever that is."
Lilly stood and walked over to where Miley was sitting. She cupped her face and pulled her close. "Miley Ray Stewart, you are a good person. You are special and smart and talented and a good friend. You are not an embarrassment. People who think like that are dumb, because they don't know what they're missing out on. I love getting to know you more. You've very quickly become one of my favorite people on this planet. You're so strong and brave. You've done things I could never do. You went to public school and just came out. Just like that. You decided to try to be yourself and not care what other people thought, and that takes a lot of courage. You are not an embarrassment."
Miley wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but the moment passed when neither girl acted on their mutual desires. Lilly went back to the bed and Miley shut down the computer. They got into bed and talked for a long while about what Crowley Corners was like before drifting off to sleep. When they woke up, they found themselves spooning. They both pretended to awkwardly laugh though neither felt awkward about the situation. Miley had never slept as well as she had with Lilly pressed against her.
The following weeks were stressful. Miley's father called her every day to check on her and let her know what the latest news was on the Tennessee plans. He mentioned several times that her grandma was excited to hear that they were coming to stay for so long.
For Halloween, Lilly ditched her annual party plans to hang out and watch horror films with Miley. They both enjoyed it, but the holiday only meant that Thanksgiving/Fall break was right around the corner. Miley spent every day of the remaining three weeks that she could with Lilly. When Lilly had soccer, Oliver and Miley went to every game no matter how far away it was. Lilly was a fierce competitor on the field. Oliver said she had a lot of potential for going pro.
But all too soon their time was up. She had said bye to Oliver during the half day at school. He was told that she was going on vacation to her hometown through the holidays and would be back when school resumed after Christmas break. At least, that was what Miley hoped would happen.
Lilly came over to Miley's after school to say bye. Jackson was outside helping load up the cab that would take them to the airport while they talked.
"I'm going to miss you." Lilly admitted, sheepishly looking at the floor.
"I'll miss you too. But I'll be back before you know it." Miley tried to give a hopeful smile.
"We hope." Lilly sighed.
"Yeah." Miley nodded. "We hope."
Lilly looked up into Miley's eyes and they both prepared for a kiss that neither girl instigated. "We'll call and text all the time."
"Every day." Miley replied.
Lilly reached into her pocket and pulled out a hand-woven hemp bracelet with decorative beads in Miley's favorite colors. "Happy birthday, by the way. Four days early is close enough."
Miley was overwhelmed with emotion while watching Lilly tie the bracelet onto her wrist. "Thank you. I love it, Lilly, I really do. It's wonderful."
"What are best friends for." She shrugged, pulling Miley into a long hug. They didn't let go until the cab driver honked the horn outside.
"I guess I'll see you later." Miley couldn't stop herself from glancing at Lilly's lips. They were so inviting, so tempting.
"You will see me later." Lilly corrected.
They both waited a little longer in case the other was going to initiate a kiss, but nothing happened. Together they walked outside. Lilly stayed on the driveway waving until the cab was out of sight.