Awake?
Or still dreaming?
When I woke I was utterly confused.
Why
was I in hospital?
Tell me I hadn't I wrecked Sam's car…
My
thoughts were hazy, but when I looked around a pair of bright blue
eyes caught my attention. I instantly knew where I was and why I was
here.
Biting her lip, Arlyn looked up at a clock that hung on the
wall, counted, and turned back to me. "It's official; you've
been out for 3 hours."
"No way! I fell asleep like 10
minutes ago." It killed me to think I had wasted 3 hours with
Arlyn, asleep. I rolled over in the slid-y chair back to her. Her
voice was light yet cynical. "I bet the station nurse you'd be
out for 3." I smiled amused; she was already placing money on me.
"You win?"
"I did." She stated proudly. "She bet
like 1 1/2. I knew you'd sleep longer, you seemed tired."
I
looked her up and down. "I was. But how are you? "
She sighed.
"I'm ok."
I rolled my hand around in a circular motion,
prompting her to elaborate. "So you're perfectly fine?"
She
nodded picking up the remote with her good hand. "Perfectly."
I
came closer to her in my chair and leaned over the bed railing. "I
really don't buy that."
She flipped through a few channels,
settling on the post game show for the Seahawks. "And why not?"
She asked casually, not looking at me, while she put the sound on
mute.
"Your eyes are tired, your don't have any color in your
face, and you keep looking down at your arm. " She cut me a glance
from the side, letting her eyes drift from the TV. "And you're
far too observant for someone whose only known me for a few
hours."
"I'm sorry." I apologized quickly, not feeling any
remorse whatsoever. Her lips curled upward, and a glint of perfectly
white teeth showed through them.
"Stalker! " She declared,
pointing a finger at me, and then dropping it, her shoulders heaving
with laughter. Oh she had no idea, I thought to myself. I
smiled cockily; I could feel my eyes burning with her in my sights.
"How am I am the stalker, when you are the one who watches people
sleep for hours?"
She threw the remote at me, and laughed hard,
as it hit me in the head.
She had good aim.
"Nice catch."
She complimented, as I picked up the remote from the floor.
"Good
throw! I mean, right for the jugular there!" She sighed, and leaned
further back into the pillows.
"The Seahawks won." She
commented, throwing her hand toward the TV, as if to show me.
"Paul's happy then." I muttered.
She raised an eyebrow,
and I corrected myself. "He's my brother." It was halfway true.
She smiled at that and nodded. "Are you close?"
"Yeah."
I answered . "We fight all the time, but it's all good. You got
brothers?"
She shook her head, sadly almost. "A sister, I
don't know her though."
I looked down at her curiously. "You
just-"
She looked me in the eye, finality showing in her
expression. "I don't know her. I live in Seattle."
I
understood. She didn't want to talk about this sibling. Her face
twisted up, showing pain. Instantly I found myself babbling, asking
what I could do, trying to help. She pushed me back though.
"I'm
fine." She insisted. "Just the morphine's wearing off."
"I'll
get someone to get you some more." I muttered as I ran for the
door. I could hear her tell me to come back. I didn't listen
though.
I walked up to the nurses' station, and found that I
was ignored for few moments, the one in the all pink outfit
apparently had some very juicy details about Mark and Cindy in
internal medicine. I cleared my throat, and finally one turned to
look at me. "Can I help you?" She asked, still flipping through
someone's file. "Yeah, uh, the girl in room 286 needs some
painkillers." She nodded, followed me into Arlyn's room. She was
still watching the post game rundown on CBS. "I can't believe
that Julius Peppers didn't get called for unnecessary roughness, on
this play! " She protested as I came back in, not noticing the
nurse that followed me. "I mean seriously, the man's straight up
beast, but that-"
She saw the nurse, and instantly was quiet,
frowning.
The nurse read papers and charts, analyzed a few various
computer screens around Arlyn's bed, before picking up a syringe.
"She ok right?" I asked nervously.
Arlyn shot me a
disapproving look. "Of course I'm ok."
The nurse shot the
syringe down into an IV, and Arlyn cringed, reaching for the railing
and gripping it tightly. I offered her my hand, but chose the rail
over me, squeezing as she closed her eyes.
Finally the nurse put
the syringe away. "Yep, needed that didn't ya?"
She nodded,
and turned the sound back up on her football show/
"I'll be
back in a few hours." The nurse smiled at us and then left.
It
was silent for a few moments, while Arlyn rearranged her pillows.
"She always messes them up." She stated, her voice tired, as if
lifting the pillows hurt.
I picked up a pillow, "Where do you
want it?"
She grinned sheepishly. "This one goes here." She
said pointing at a spot on the bed. When she had all the pillows
arranged perfectly, I sat back down, and heard my stomach growl.
Smooth I told myself, mentally banging my head against a wall.
She motioned out the door, "The cafeteria's down the hall. It's
not that bad, you should get something to eat."
I shook my head,
"Not Hungry." I casually lied. I wouldn't leave her.
She
glared up at me, her red hair in her face. "You're a really bad
liar, never had much practice?"
I threw my hands up in the air.
"Yeah, tell me about it."
I looked outside, and noticed it
was dark. I should be going home.
"I should go." I whispered,
as I pushed myself up from the chair.
She nodded. "Your family
will be wondering where you are."
I smiled. "They probably
will. But they'd understand."
She looked curiously up at me,
her eyes glowing. "Would they?"
"Yeah, they would. They're
all pretty chill."
"Well, I'll see you around then. I'm
sure you stop by here enough?"
I could my face exploding into a
smile. "All the time." I promised quickly, as I waved goodbye and
walked out the door.
She thought I was a bad liar, yet she hadn't
called me on that lie.
I flew down the road, totally
exhilarated.
I had found the girl.
I didn't have to hurt
anymore.
I promised myself I would be the best thing that ever
happened to Arlyn- I then remembered how little I knew about her,
including her last name.
The trees whipped by me, the wind
rushing in through the open window and I wondered how soon it would
be until she sat with me in the now empty passenger seat.
When I finally pulled up to the house, Sam was waiting inside, holding Emily on the couch. I cleared my throat, the moment felt awkward. I wondered if one day I would hold Arlyn like that, I wondered if she would ever fall in love with me, as I had with her.
Sam
barely noticed me, only sticking out his hand for the keys, as he
continued to kiss Emily. I dropped the keys into his awaiting hand,
muttering something like "get a room." Sam growled, but
continued, and I continued down the hall to my room.
Seth was on
my bed, totally asleep. Out.
He looked like he'd been
scouting all day. I wondered where his evil sister was, probably out
still in wolf form. She was far more comfortable that way. It was her
that had told me, once I imprinted, I wouldn't hurt over Bella. It
was true, I wasn't hurting anymore. But I was filled with a new
type of worry, the worry that Arlyn wouldn't love me. It wasn't
like Quil and Claire, he had years to get to know her, to be her best
friend. There was no pressure for them, it would happen naturally.
But me, I don't know, I felt it was late. The pressure was on for
us. I couldn't just ask the girl out and then for her to marry me.
That sorta goes over wrong everywhere. But this was the age when Quil
and Claire would fall in love, now is when Jared and whatever her
name is, fall in love. It was now for me, and I thought I was
hopelessly late.
Shaking my head, I told myself not to worry
about it. That wouldn't solve anything at all. Live in the
moment Jake I told myself. You found her, and you already love
her enough to be whatever she needs you too, no matter what you want.
My mind kept racing back and forth through endless possibilities.
What if she leaves and never comes back? What If I can only call
her? What if she's dating a guy? What if she dies tonight in the
hospital? Seth woke and he must have seen my face, as his eyes
were the size of saucers. "Jake what the hell is up with you?"
I
tried smiling at him. "You really wanna know?"
Seth looked
around the room, as if expecting something else to happen. "Uhh
sure?"
"Tomorrow?" I pleaded. "I've gotta go bed."
He
rolled his eyes at me as he ran his hand through his black hair.
"Bed? I'm gonna go patrol or something!"
It was tempting,
the running, letting the worrisome thoughts fly behind me. They
couldn't keep up with me and my speed. At the same time though,
Arlyn had been right; I was so tired.
Seth got up off the bed.
"Well I'm out! You running or sleeping?"
I couldn't help
it, I wanted to run, escape the thoughts that things wouldn't work
out. "Running." I grumbled, as I flew past him out the door.
Once we were safely outside, away from any passing car's
headlights, a let the warmth spread over my entire body and I phased,
Seth was only a few paces behind me. As we ran through the blacked
woods, Seth didn't speak for several minutes. I knew he was seeing
Arlyn in my mind.
He stopped running, and I did too, I knew what
he was gonna ask. "You imprinted?" He asked almost shocked.
"That's pretty amazing Jake."
We weren't like vampires; we
can't read each other complete minds, only our thoughts. So we had
to go over stories to smooth them out.
"Yeah, it's great."
I said absentmindedly, thinking about Arlyn, thinking about our
forever.
"You sound real convinced." Seth pointed out as he
started jogging up a hill.
"So she lives in Seattle, and I
don't know how that's gonna work."
Seth shrugged. "Stuff
like this works itself out."
"What am I gonna say? Well when
you leave the hospital I'll come visit you, drive 150 miles to see
the girl I'd known for 3 days."
Seth looked at me confusedly.
"She's in the hospital?"
I nodded. "She got in a wreck
coming down here, broke her wrist."
Seth stared at me, as if he
was going to find the answer to my problem. "So why'd she come
down here? Maybe she's staying?"
I shook my head. She had
vigorously reminded me that she lived in Seattle.
Seth read the
thought, and nodded. "Just enjoy the time you have with her Jake.
That's all the advice I can give you."
I shook my head,
wondering whether to be overjoyed, or to be totally discouraged.
Seth rolled his eyes at me. "Come on Jake, be happy. For once,
let yourself be happy."
I shot him a disgusted look. "You
sound like a-"
He cut me off. "And you're some pathetic,
helpless, little, angry, brooding teenager!"
I snarled, and put
him on the ground, but he continued. "Jake you were one of the most
happy, outgoing and radiant people I knew. You've got to get over
Bella, you can't be afraid anymore Jake."
I knew he was right. I had hit rock
bottom with Bella, I couldn't go any worse. He wanted me to be
happy. He wanted me to be happy I had imprinted. Happy that my
soulmate had been found. But didn't he understand that she'd
leave? Didn't he understand I couldn't tell her what we were yet?
Didn't he understand that a relationship takes time? That she would
take time?
But at the same time, maybe she would stay, maybe
things would happen the way they were supposed to, if only we had
time.
But time was not up to me, but up to her. It was up to
Arlyn, who had no idea, no idea what she meant me. No Idea what I
meant to her.
This whole thing was a circle. A vicious damn
circle. A twisted screwed up way to fall in love.
Set was right
though, I should be happy, spend as much time as I could with her, do
what I could.
Seth nodded at me; I knew he now understood
everything. With a thrust of my head toward the south, I released my
hold on his neck, and we both picked up the pace and set off in a
dead run for home.
I woke up very late. 2:00 to be
exact. I threw myself out of bed, changed into some old jeans, that
only had a few rips and tears from the garage, and some random
t-shirt. I sat down at the kitchen table, and Leah was also sitting
there, reading a book. I almost blinked at her, it was so weird
seeing her in human form. She lived out as much as she could, she
hated being human. When she finished the last of her reading, she set
the book down and looked at me in an amused way as I shoved a piece
of cold pizza in my mouth.
She kept on staring, as if she was
Alice or something, reading the future and crap.
Finally it got
to me, and with my mouth full of pizza I glared at her. "What?" I
mumbled annoyed, my speech significantly hindered by the pizza.
Leah
sighed, "Well is she pretty?"
Instantly I knew who she was talking
about. Arlyn. The name was like a sweet taste in my mouth.
I
nodded. "She is pretty, more like beautiful though. She's got
this hair; it's a dark rusty red, and these blue eyes."
Leah
rolled her eyes. "Love sick dog." She muttered.
I snarled,
and got up from the table.
"Well where are you going?" She
asked, picking up the book. I knew she knew.
I didn't answer
as I strode out to my Rabbit and climbed in.
