I tossed and turned, groaning as I stared up at the ceiling. I could still feel Jareth's hands on me, his warm breath on my skin. I could feel his palms caressing my hips, his teeth on my neck, his tongue... I jumped when I felt one of my own hands crawling up my neck while the other wandered below the blanket, blushing and forcing myself up. What was happening to me? I was raised in a proper environment; I don't do this sort of thing!
I swallowed hard, slamming my head into the pillow and sighing. I swung my feet out from under the covers and pulled on the robe on the best post. The goblins had long since gone to sleep, and a few were nestled in the nooks and crannies around my wing, which was so different from the rest of this castle. I loved watching them sleep; they reminded me of children when they were awake, and asleep they tickled every maternal instinct in me.
Jareth wasn't in his room, which wasn't necessarily unusual, but he wasn't in the throne room either. I nibbled on my lip while I trailed light fingers over the stone throne, questioning my need to see him so desperately.
"You're out late." He murmured next to my ear, and laughed when I jumped a foot in the air.
"Jareth!" I whipped around and swallowed. "I didn't see you."
"To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" He wondered, clasping his hands behind him and pacing around me. I blushed, having to stop myself from pulling my robe closer to my body just to have something between him and I. A smile danced across his eyes, thin lips curving a moment later, and my heart was soaring.
"I couldn't sleep." I breathed, turning my head to catch his eyes and keep him in my sights.
"So you thought you might come and find a conversational companion?" He teased me, breath tickling my ear as he circled ever closer. "Or perhaps you want me to warm your bed tonight?"
"You are insufferable." I huffed at him, and we both knew my heart wasn't in it. His nose traced the vein on my neck, tracing it upward to catch the side of my jaw, and I allowed his hands to come around my waist.
"We were interrupted this afternoon; I couldn't help but notice how much you were enjoying yourself. Would you like me to continue?"
"That's a loaded question." I breathed, gripping at his large hands for something to ground me. Ever touch was so intense, like I could feel for both of us. Every breath tickled my skin, every soft breath from my lips echoed across the room. Was this what it meant to truly bond with a soulmate? "Jareth-"
"You're in pain, Winter. Let me take care of you."
The ache between my legs flared, and I swallowed hard, pulling away from him.
"I... I can't. I'm sorry." I flushed, rubbing my shoulder. "It's not that... I mean, I want to, but..."
He sighed, pulling me back once more in his chest and resting his chin on my head.
"You aren't ready." He finished quietly. I nodded, and he played with a strand of my hair, twirling it between his fingers. "You don't have to be afraid, Winter. I'm disappointed, but I'm not angry with you."
"You're disappointed in me." I felt my heart fracturing at those words.
"In that I wish for physical intimacy and am unable to give that to you." He corrected. "I would never force you before you are ready. I'm not a monster, Winter."
"I love when you say my name." The words came out before I registered them, and I felt my body heat up. "I'm sorry, that was weird of me. I just meant that, you know, I..."
He chuckled somewhere low in his chest, and I shivered at the feeling. "Something so small brings such joy to your heart. It hasn't failed yet to astound me."
"I don't need you to turn the world upside down to make me happy." I turned to face him, holding his cheek. "In the time I've been here, I've experienced more joy than all of my eighteen years combined. I didn't even realize there was anything missing inside of me until I met you."
He caught my hand, pulling it from his face, and I was terrified at the pained look that flitted across his eyes. I could feel his emotions tossing and turning inside of him, his confliction and his agony. I wanted to rip it out from him and throw it as far as I could, and that feeling scared me a little too. This was too soon to fall in love, too soon to desire so deeply.
Wasn't it?
"Let's compromise." He whispered, pressing his forehead into mine and closing his eyes. I shared his breath, my stomach churning at needing to be closer.
"Compromise what?"
"Let me share your bed tonight."
I flushed, but nodded to him. I squealed in delight when he lifted me in his arms, and was almost disappointed when he had to put me down on the bed. I couldn't breathe when he crawled over me, his hands fluttering around my ribcage.
"Tell me when you need me to stop." He murmured, flicking his tongue out to meet my bottom lip. I parted for him, moaning at the feel of those large, graceful hands cupping at my chest. It made me arch into him when he kissed down to where my cleavage was, and I felt humiliation in the most thrilling sense when he pulled at the fabric separating his hands from my flesh and kneaded my breasts like we had been lovers for years.
I had never felt so desired before. True, I was aware of the eyes that had raked over my body during my years of puberty, but it was all about my curved and a pretty face to go with them. Jareth made me feel desired because I was Winter, the person lying before him who had been his guest for lack of a better word during the last week or so since he had pulled me from the water. He made me feel like I was more than a body, more than a stepping stone for an arranged marriage. More than a fertile woman to carry a child.
Jareth made me feel... like I was the center of his universe in this moment. Like nothing was more important than to make me feel pleasure in every little thing that wicked tongue was doing to me.
The mixture of appreciation and disappointment was overwhelming when he pulled me towards his chest, pulling my gown back up like a gentleman and wrapping us in the duvet. He must have felt it, because he smoothed my hair away from my face.
"In time." He reassured me, and it didn't escape my notice that his breathing began to slow down and synchronize to mine as my vision began to fade, the only sound in my world becoming the steady beat of his heart in that firm, warm chest.