Leader: You are all horrible failures of reviewers, you did not request someone to open, thus forcing me to do it. And don't think I don't know who you all are (glares at reviewers) I will be sending my men after you unless you tell us who you want to open, if I have to come back here I'll make sure you get an ear full!

T: Okay, is it just me or does he sound like a dad?

K: You're right, he does...Well there goes my respect for him.

J: (Watching Leader grow angrier with each comment.) Okay, time to disclaim before unnecessary slaughter ensues. I dont own any of the Akatsuki members, and we own ourselves.

Leader: (Still glaring at Takisha and Kenzie with blood lust)

Chapter Three - Rules

That same night the girls slept fairly well. (Regardless of the fact that they squeezed the three of them on the not so big bed.) Needless to say the dreams they had were all over the place. Kenzie dreamt of sharks eating her, Takisha dreamt of falling off a tower of plates and Jenna dreamt that her maid's outfit was strangling her. It was roughly 5:30 (according to the alarm clock yet to be unearthed beneath the bed) when the bedroom door creaked open. Using ninja stealth Hidan and Kakuzu crept into the room. Approaching the bed Kakuzu and Hidan revealed their weapons. A massive gong and the largest pots and pans from the kitchen. In sync with each other they counted to 3 in their heads and then, 'BANG!' 'BAM!' 'CRASH!' 'CRACK!' Hidan threw in a nice loud," WAKE UP SLEEPING UGLIES!!"

"AAAH!!" Came the chorus of screams as Jenna tried jumping out of the bed and fell on top of Kenzie, Kenzie in turn relfexively kicked out her legs while sitting up, thus pushing Takisha out of the bed entirely.

Kakuzu let out a big snort of amusement, throwing the pots and pans in the corner of the room (and making Takisha cringe at the sound) he announced," Get your asses in gear, you have two minutes to get out in the hall. At two minutes one second, Hidan delivers the pain penalty. Get it? Got it? Good. See you in two minutes." Kakuzu left the room, he also left Hidan to stand watch with the gong to make sure the girls didn't go back to sleep.

Jenna got up on her feet first, rubbing the sleep from her eyes she asked in a slurred groggy voice," Just what are we getting up for?"

"You'll see when you get to the living room, hurry up!" Hidan yelled at Kenzie; who was the last to get moving out og bed... She was bringing the bed with her (she had the massive comforter wrapped around her.) Since all three of them were on their feet Hidan got them moving out the door, he made a shadow clone that went behind them and kicked them in the ass, thus making them move. As well as complain.

"Hey! You don't need to push, I can move by myself. Kenzie just needs to be shoved out the door." Jenna whined, speed walking to keep Hidan's feet away from her butt. Kenzie was ahead of her a fraction, so it was quite simple for her to trip Jenna.

Takisha was beside Jenna, so when she fell to the floor she almost got pulled down with her. Managing to just dodge the face plant opportunity she grumped," Don't bring me down with you. I feed you remember."

"That reminds me, no breakfeast this morning. And get moving Spots. Before I have to drag you the rest of the way." Hidan threatened, stopping in front of Jenna's motionless form on the floor. He waited another second for her to get up, when she didn't he gave her a light stomping on the back, earning a loud,"UUGH!" Jenna then proceeded to first wiggled, then crawl after the others. Hidan accepted that as good enough.

Going into the living room the girls found it to be totally dark, (they don't have any windows or anything like that in the living room, they do have electricity, they just don't have them on.)The girls couldn't even feel Hidan behind them anymore. Huddling close to each other Takisha whispered," I don't know what's worse, not being able to see anything, or not eating breakfeast."

As soon as Takisha finished saying that the lights came on, blinding them for a brief moment. When their eyes cleared the girls found that the Akatsuki members stood in a circle around them. Leader stepped forward and said in his best authority voice," Mackenzie Lynn Bishop, Takisha Maria Alean Petroff, Jenna Noel Wygergangs. You have been brought into the depths of darkness, the lair of our organization. At this time we must bind you to the cave under our law."

"Uh..." Came the chorused response from the girls. They didn't have a clue what Leader just said to them.

Konan leaned down and whispered," He's saying you're going to hear the rules of the house."

"Oooh." You could hear the eyes rolling in the room. When the girls looked bacl to Leader to continue he pointed to a chart paper that wasn't there a minute ago and read off it," Rule One: No killing each other, or anyone else unless told to or have no other option. Rule Two: If you leave the cave you will be escorted by one of the members. Rule Three: No raping, molesting or sexually harrassing the other members. Meaning you girls can't do that to them, but they can to you."

"WHAT?! WHAAT?!...KOOONAAN!!" In need of role model support the girls glomped Konan with tears in their eyes.

Konan struggled to break free, failed, gave up and turned to Leader," That rule isn't very fair. You should change it a little to be a decent leader."

Leader rubbed his chin in thought for a second before deciding," Fine. You can't rape them, they can still rape you but only if they wear protection. Now the final rule: Do your share of the work to keep food on the table. Oh, and after this meeting you will be tested to see which group you belong with, as well you will be taught the basics in order to keep yourself alive. That is all."

As Leader left with Konan the guys let loose with their thoughts on the change of rule three.

Deidara:" I liked the old rule, un. Wearing protection takes all the fun out of it, un."

Hidan: "Intercourse with females isn't against Jashin's law, but stopping the possibility of creating offspring to worship him is."

Kakuzu: "Dammit, now I'm going to lose money on condom purchases."

Sasori: "..."

Itachi: "..."

Kisame: "..."

Tobi: "??"

Zetsu: "We don't mate with females, only eat them."

Since the guys were occuppied with their talking Jenna whispered to the other two," I think we should sneak over to the kitchen now while they're not paying attention. I don't want to go through testing hell on an empty stomach."

"I agree. You coming Kenzie?" Takisha asked the mass of blanket with a face. Kenzie just shrugged, she wasn't really hungry yet, but she didn't want to stay around with a bunch of potential rapists.

Very quietly the three of them tip toed towards the door they came in from, they were almost home free when Tobi noticed the girls were leaving. Being the obnoxious man-child he was he called out," Jenna-chan, Takisha-chan, Kenzie-chan! Where are you going?!" The girls didn't need to turn around to know that all the guys were watching them now.

Three seconds of silence went by before Takisha yelled," RUN!!" Thus set the girls running for the bedroom, a place they felt would be better to hide in.

Before they could reach the door Hidan's scythe-whip snared their ankles in a loop, bringing them down hard on their faces. Dragging them back towards the mob of Akatsuki members Hidan asked maliciously," Just where do you think you're going girls? You have a few tests to do."

"Are these tests pen and paper, or physical?" Kenzieinquired once Hidan stopped dragging them.

"It's a hundred percent physical. And if you try to run away then I'll bring you right back and make you swim in the lake." Sasori threatened while wiggling his fingers. The girls groaned and developed large clouds of doom above their heads. They could tell that day was going to be a long one. A long and painful one.