Chapter Four

She was loose in Woodbury; her lungs were beating into her ribs with every stiff breath that ripped through her body. Her entire body begged her to stop but her mind was set on finding the others, she moved as if instinctually. She heard rising voices, she changed directions. She entered the back of a crowd, gathered around the simple pit where the governor was speaking. He was addressing Merle as Sage rose to her toes, her eyes searching for any sign of her previous group. Two men brought in another, her eyes searched him. Daryl. She saw his pants, she had washed them this morning before they had set out, placing them in his palms when she was sure they were dry. Stepping forwards for just an instant she saw a small movement behind an army grade car. She weaved around people, crossing under a set of bleachers. Bending at the waist in order to hide behind the car she came up behind Rick and Maggie, tapping his shoulder. He rushed her downwards, throwing her back against the car with a gun to her temple. She looked at him frantically before he relaxed.

"Where were you?" He demanded, his jaw clenching at the end of his words.

"I saw those men and told Daryl to run, I never turned back to see if he did… I looked for you before I started to hear the crowd." He placed a handgun into her palm, nodding with such a severity Sage began to panic. She looked down, finding Rick's hand before grasping it, interlocking her fingers with his for some remnant of security. He squeezed her hand.

"He's going to be just fine, we all will be." He placed their hands on her knee; she bent over pushing her forehead into the top of his large hand, trying to even out her heart's erratic beat. She had never panicked like this before, she always scoffed at the idea of panicking she always thought she could just face anything. Never nervous, never terrified. Her mind trailed back to that day she and Daryl had made love for the first time. Shouts echoed in her ear. She was leaning into his body, her hands pressed to his chest. The governor was yelling something she could not hear. He kissed her forehead as he flipped her onto her back, his hands wrinkling her shirt; he had no idea what he was doing. "What's wrong with her?" Maggie's voice reached her as if from miles away. Her skin broke out in goosebumps, he held her just like she was gold, his arm wrapped around her back, causing it to arch; she had no idea what she was doing. Her shoulder was being pulled upwards; she looked into Rick's waiting face. And as if she had been shocked by lightening she pushed back the safety of the gun, heavy in her palm and pulled herself upwards shifting her gaze towards Daryl and Merle, fighting to the death. She nodded to Rick and with one look at Maggie he fixed his gaze back to the scene, throwing in a smoke bomb. At that gunfire began, Sage returning it aiming at anyone in the way of Daryl's escape. In the longest ten to twenty seconds of her life she finally visualized Daryl pushing towards them, Merle trailing close behind him. Daryl had his crossbow shouldered as he approached them.

"Let's go!" Rick shouted leading one of Woodbury's nearby walls. Everyone watched, frantic as Merle granted them an escape. They left hurriedly, taking down walkers as they went through the streets, breaking off at a run towards where they had left their cars.

Daryl reached out for Sage, grabbing her wrist and pulling her close enough to him so that he could speak to her as they ran. The heat radiating from his hand into her wrist, into her veins cleared her head. She tried to place it, her mind searching for the words. Safe. He fixed her and he protected her, and she thought of him when she needed guidance, security back in Woodbury, she had thought of the moment they were the closest. She cursed herself, she could not be so reliant in this world, in this world you lost everything you needed yourself and she didn't have herself anymore without Daryl. Odi et amo she thought, she did hate and she did love, quare id faciam, fortasse requires? But unlike the poem nescio she did know why, she hated how damn dependant she was on this one man, the one she had just let down. But she needed him and in that needing was love. And yes, sed fieri sentio, it did happen, she could love and hate and she could not know or she could know how she felt that way, how it was possible. But it is not possible in this world to survive that way, her emotions could not be this way. She couldn't have emotions and with them, with the way she was there was only one possibly effect from that. Excrucior. Loving and hating, being warped in these emotions so much that she allowed herself to choke just when he needed her was torture, she was tortured.

…

They slowed to a halt in the middle of the woods, Michonne and Glen met them, instant animosity sparking between the two and Merle. Michonne lunged at him; Rick met her before she could make contact.

"Put it down" He demanded motioning to her raised weapon. Glen protested towards the way in which Rick was protecting Merle. Sage kept her head down, not wanting to attract Merle's attention or Daryl's pity. She didn't want to break them up just because of what Merle had done to her but she doubted she could handle living around Merle. Merle, continuing to run his mouth was met by a hit to the head, taking away his consciousness as Rick lowered his arm, walking towards the cars. Sage followed Michonne, running her hand through her hair in frustration. Glenn, Daryl and Rick murmured in hushed but urgent voices.

"You can't just send them out!" Daryl pled, looking back towards Michonne, Sage and sideways towards the woods where he knew Merle laid. Rick closed his eyes, weighing out his options, to him he had to protect the prison and if that meant leaving all three of the newcomers stranded then he would do so in a heartbeat.

"No" Rick sighed, opening his eyes. "We can't do it."

"That's my brother! She's-" Daryl halted thinking of a way to phrase every reason he wanted her to stay. "She's about one hundred pounds and five foot six inches and that's pretty generous, she can't hurt us. You can't do this."

"I can and I will." Rick stated, his gaze burning into Daryl's blue irises. "There are no other options."

"Fine, then count me out as well." Daryl bounded towards Sage, half-cocked and aggressive. Sage put her hand up to him, to stop him to calm him, she didn't know. He walked until his chest touched her fingertips.

"We're leaving." He stated simply taking her hand and pulling her towards Merle. She closed her eyes before she would've been able to see Merle. His voice made pierced her ears and she swore she could feel it entering her skull like razor blades.

[The poem used in italics is a Latin poem written by Catullus, and translates to "I hate and I love, you might wonder how this is possible, I don't know but I feel that it happens and I am tortured." Anyways, I apologize for this being so late after the new episode I started the week without power since I live on the East Coast, with added school work and a dance competition I just couldn't find the time, making this one shorter as well but I promise my next one will be up faster and it'll be longer! Thanks!]