¤¤¤¤¤ Phillippa here! ¤¤¤¤¤
Sorry my update took a while. The dying wasps that find the window next to my computer a sort of last hope and freak me out delayed it, along with this:
Phillippa: type type type
Computer: Hmm, I haven't been mean to Phillippa lately. . .(freezes)
Phillippa: Ah! I hate, despise and otherwise LOATHE you, Computer! }
Computer: (insert maniacal laughter here)
Phillippa: (plans various revenge tactics)
Just so you understand what I'm talking about, I'll inform you that I have rebooted my computer THREE TIMES today, and I've only been on it an hour. This is a weird chapter, because it's shorter than usual and a lot of things happen in it -- including Irene being assertive! I know, I know, very hard to believe.
chapter four TOMORROW
I felt very out of place there. I had loved balls, that's true, but it's hard to love anything when you are alone. I wished I had stayed at home, settled down with a good book, and wondered what had happened. Wait, no, if I hadn't gone to the ball, Nat might've not kissed me. . .or gotten angry with me. Now, I was feeling confused. . .was my going to the ball a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked moodily around the dance-floor, looking for Ada or Mother or. . .anybody, really. I noticed girls from my neighborhood, dolled up and having immeasurable amounts of fun. Goodness! Wasn't anyone in this whole place even a tiny bit miserable?
Irene, I told myself firmly, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get a hold of yourself. It isn't the end of the world. Entertain yourself. Eat something. Do something.
I moved over to the banquet tables. I stood in the food lines again, only this time there were about six people in it instead of sixty. I picked out some chicken and fruit. Not very much food, because I still wasn't feeling too hungry. I sat by several empty chairs and ate my dinner, watching swirling dresses and shiny shoes whiz by me. One of the dresses and shoes stopped in front of me. The dress had a head of golden hair, while the shoes had considerably darker skin.
"Irene! I wondered where you had gone! Nat's out there --" Ada waved her hand vaguely toward the opposite side of the ballroom, "-- looking terribly silly. Why don't you --" Ada stopped and peered into my face. "Seolai, do you mind if I talk to me sister alone for a while?"
Seolai said something about being over with his aunt, and he left. Ada took a seat right next to me. I ate in silence, trying not to look guilty of anything, but my hands were shaking a little. "Irene, whatever is the matter with you?"
"Nothing's the matter with me, I just don't feel very much like dancing."
"It doesn't look like you feel very much like eating, either," Ada said, eyeing my plate, and for one time in my life I wished my sister didn't know me so well.
"I'm fine, Ada. I wish you would. . ." I trailed off, thinking of how many times I had told someone I was fine that night, and how many times I really was. It would be such a relief to not keep it a secret anymore. "Fine. Do you want to know the whole truth?"
"Absolutely. Tell me everything," Ada said, shifting so she could look at me better.
"You asked for it. . ." I launched into the story, trying not to leave anything out of it. The kiss, the dance, more kisses, Mother, the king's brother, keeping Ella a secret, the moon-man, the prince --
"The prince!? The prince talked to you?"
"Astonishingly enough, Ada. He opened his mouth, and words came out, and they made sense to me. . .almost as if he weren't from a different planet after all!"
"Irene," Ada smiled. "I didn't mean it like that. . ."
After the prince, there wasn't much more to say. "I don't even know if Nat still loves me, after what he said to me," I finished.
To my surprise, Ada snorted. "You don't even know if he loves you? Who cares what he says? It's what he does, that's what's important. Take a gander at that, Irene. That, that is a man in love." Nathaniel was sitting at a banquet table. It didn't occur to me Ada saw him on the other side of the ballroom only a few minutes ago. I wasn't thinking of how fast he must've moved to get there so quickly. I was noticing the lack of smile, how his eyes seemed dull, how listless he seemed.
"That's love?" I said, softly.
"That is love when it's been denied," Ada answered.
"I didn't deny him! My goodness, I kissed him twice, what does he think that means? That I'm denying his love? I haven't denied his love, I've accepted it!"
"Calm yourself. I didn't mean you have denied his love. I am saying his love has reached a dead end," Ada said, shushing me a little. I took another look at Nat. It was awful, seeing him like that. Especially after I had seen his green eyes dance when he looked at me. Especially when I knew I was the cause of all of it.
"I won't stand for it. Something must be done," I decided, getting up as fast as I could without knocking the chair onto the ground.
"Irene?" Ada said, surprised, but I was all ready past her. I was walking across the room. I was going to tell Nathaniel. I had to tell him. There was no other choice. I couldn't leave him to be swept away by the amazing Princess Ariadne. He was mine first, and that was the way I was going to keep him. Mine.
Nat saw me coming and half rose from his seat. "Irene, what --"
"Come on. I have to talk to you," I told him, before I changed my mind. I breezed past the dancers and went straight to the balcony. I glanced back and saw, to my relief, Nat was following me, though he was looking slightly bewildered.
"Irene, what --" Nat said again, once we were out on the balcony. I interrupted him again, this time with a kiss on the mouth. It successfully stopped all questions for the next straight five minutes. "All right," said Nathaniel, holding me tightly against him. "Now you've got to tell me what this is all about."
I reached up and brushed his straw-colored hair out of his face. "You need a haircut," I informed him. He laughed.
"You can't expect me to believe we went through all that for you to tell me that. You told me that yesterday." I did? Yesterday was such a long, long time ago.
"All right, then, Nat. You need a haircut," I repeated, "and I love you."
Nat, predictably, said nothing, but stared at me hard, as if he was trying to see inside of me.
"I didn't tell you that yesterday, did I?" I asked him. Nat kept staring. My heart was ready to fall out and break in two. Then, Nat was laughing and kissing my face, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would stop. It didn't stop, and neither did Nathaniel's loving gaze.
"You have made me happier than any person in the whole entire world," Nat said, smiling. He couldn't stop smiling. Neither could I.
"Happier than King Reynard?" I said.
"A hundred times happier!" he announced, swinging me around in a circle. "Happier than Prince Lawrence?" I said.
"A thousand times happier!" Nathaniel laughed.
"Happier than Princess Ariadne?" I whispered.
He looked into my face, pulled me close, and whispered softly in my ear. "A million times happier, my love."
My friend. My love. My Nathaniel.
It was a while until I realized the palace clock was clanging its boisterous bells again.
"Nat," I said.
Nothing.
"Nat. Nat. Nathaniel Abraham --"
"Hm?"
"It's one o'clock."
"And?"
I gave him a look. "You told the coachman to pick us up now."
"I did? You mean -- it's one o'clock?"
"That is what I said."
"What?" Nat let go of me to look at the clock and gave a little start of realization. "One o'clock," he breathed out. "One o'clock all ready."
Here was a moment of silence. I leave it to you to decide how both our mouths happen to occupied at that moment. After this -- distractment -- we moseyed over to the ballroom. I wanted to speak to Ada for a moment and Nat had no objection. She bestowed upon me a knowing smile when Nat and I sat down next to her hand-in-hand.
"Ada," I said over my plate, "Nat and I are going to leave soon. Could you tell Mother that --"
"Tell her yourself, darling, she's right there," Ada interrupted.
"No, Ada, we really have to go. I --"
"Irene, I'm not going to be your messenger girl. You tell her. It's your bone to pick."
Nathaniel eyed both of us suspiciously. "What's going on that you aren't telling me? Is this about before, when Irene wouldn't tell me what was the matter?"
We exchanged looks. "No," I said at the same time Ada said, "Yes." Ada gave me another look, and repeated, "Yes, and we still won't tell you."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Now, I had all my secrets wrapped up in a nice big bundle like yesterday's laundry. Nevertheless, Ada was pushing me towards Mother and I felt disinclined to go anywhere near her, at least until tomorrow. For some unexplainable reason, I was hearing voices.
If you keep putting it off until tomorrow, one of these days you'll run out of them.
I kept hearing them echo in my head. Things my father used to say. Things William used to say. Things in poems by Ky'loe. Things I knew, in a core of my heart, were true.
Things I didn't want to be true.
"Irene?" Nat was at my elbow, his worried face in mine.
We had to go. The coachman would be waiting for us, and he wouldn't wait forever. There was always tomorrow to speak to Mother. . .
Live like there's no tomorrow.
"Irene, if we are going to go, we should go now."
"Please, Ada, could you just talk to Mother for me?"
If you keep putting it off until tomorrow, one of these days you'll run out of them.
"Darling, what do you want to say?"
"You mean you'll do it?" This was an unlooked-for blessing.
"No, I mean she's right there, so go over there and just say it to her," Ada said.
We had to go. What if the coachman thought we had decided to stay longer than we had intended to stay? I could talk to Mother tomorrow. . .
Tomorrow. . .
Tomorrow may be too late.
"Irene! Nathaniel! I thought you would be gone by now!"
Mother. The king's brother. Speak of the devil.
"Oh, we just had some last minute talking to do --"
"Irene wants a word with you, Mother," Ada interrupted me. I stared at her.
"Oh." Mother took a glance at Roderick. "Well, if it's urgent. . ."
"Very urgent," said Ada before I could say it wasn't.
"Really? I suppose I could spare a few moments if you could."
Ada pushed me away from Nat. He let go of my hand, several questions on his face. "Nat, I'll be right back, I promise. I --"
"Irene, if this is urgent, we should probably go now," Mother put in helpfully.
"Of course." Mother pulled me along to the balcony -- fateful place that it was -- and looked me right in the eye. "Mother, I want to ask you something."
She waited patiently.
"I wanted to ask. . .about Sir Roderick." He was a knight, wasn't he? I didn't know.
Mother cocked her head slightly.
"Are you. . .I mean, is he. . .are either of you. . ."
I wished she would interrupt me and put me out off my misery.
"Do you like him?" I asked.
Mother blanched. "Like him? You mean -- do I have any feelings for him?"
"Yes, that's what I mean. Do you? Please don't rush into anything. Don't do anything rash that might affect so many people."
"Irene," said Mother with a sigh, "I have been widowed twice. What makes you think I am not able to make my own decisions?"
She was right. I had been stupid to think my Mother, my fount of wisdom, could not decide correctly all by herself. I hung my head.
"I noticed you are harboring feelings for a certain boy," she said cheerily, as if I had never brought up my doubt in her judgement.
I smiled. Ada was right -- everyone could tell I was in love with him. "I will not deny that I am beginning to feel something for him. What do you think of him?"
"He was an excellent friend, was he not? Then, I believe he shall be an excellent husband."
Suddenly, he was there. Nat. "Are you finished with your urgent talk?" he asked with a smile. "Quite finished, I believe. If you and Mr. Grey wish to go, I will most graciously give you my leave." Mother winked at me before returning to Roderick and Ada.
"What was that all about?" Nat asked me as we exited the castle.
"What was what all about, love? It was just your average mother-to- daughter talk," I explained as Nathaniel helpfully pushed me into the carriage. He clambered in after me and reached out to take my hand.
"Are you ready for some not-so-average friend-to-friend talk?" He questioned, moving himself even closer to me.
"Hm, I'm not sure," I mused. "Does this not-so-average friend-to-friend talk include the words, 'I love you' or 'Kiss me?'"
"In that order," Nathaniel chuckled and set my heart racing ever faster, which I had not thought possible. "I love you. Kiss me."
"I'm still not sure. I might need a bit of coaxing. . ."
"Kiss me. Tomorrow you might not have a chance."
I leaned forward and did so. As Nat pulled me closer still, there was one thought in my mind besides how much I loved him. Tomorrow could come, and it would be okay, because there was nothing I had left undone.
There it is! Chapter four of who knows how many. My thanks to my amazing, extraordinary, marvelous, phenomenal, wonderful reviewers:
GhastlyInnocence -- I have to admit, your name makes me wonder a little. . .thanks for your compliments and interest in the story.
Flummoxed -- I'm glad you consider Irene normal. I always worry I make my characters too much like me, and I am NOT normal at all. Love and Moon-Men is a sad chapter, but this is a lot happier. I hope you liked it!
TigerLily21 -- now that you've read both my Cinderella stories, what do you think? I'm actually working on a third one right now, but I can't promise anything. I don't know if it'll keep going or just putter out.
e -- You are so welcome. It really bothers me when people don't use paragraphs and dialogue. It's so much more excting this way!
Miss Piratess -- Pathetic? I am deeply insulted. Kidding, kidding. She isn't brave, that's for sure. . .I hope you enjoyed her assertive moments in this chapter. I've had an idea for a story you might like if you enjoy your heriones brave and assertive. A sort of mixed up Rapunsel. I'll leave you know if I actually start to write it. By-the-bye, I'm reading your fairy tale right now, and I have to say I love it (and Kat.) One of these days I'll get to reviewing it (winces, thinking of how horrible a reader she is. . .)
Always last, but never least:
Artemis -- Dear, I was very worried about you! I was expecting you to go crazy with the chance to have Nat to yourself for a day. He's just sat aound my computer, waiting for you. . .how did you like France? I've never been there, but my sister has. She says it's BEAUTIFUL, but the Eiffel Tower is disappointing. Thank you, for, again, reviewing to my story. I'm not sure if I want the Prince to fall out of love with Ella or what. What do you think? I hope my "love scenes" were good enough for you (wink.) Don't forget to tell me what happened on your day with Nat. He won't tell me anything, so I'm depending on you for the information. . .
Also, to my readers: I have another Cinderella story posted, a one shot, titled Lady in Silver: a Cinderella Story in Letters. If you would read (and review) it for me, that would be so nice!
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