A/N Hello my lovely readers! I have decided that since I have so much free time that I might as well just post at least one or two chapters for the story up each day. I'm hoping that I can get to episode four before school starts in a month so wish me luck!

Thanks!,

88IAMSherLOCKED88

~*~'Piss Off!'~*~

After five minutes in the cab, Sherlock saw that me and John would glance at him, at each other then out the window.

"OK, you've got questions…" Sherlock said.

"Yeah, where are we going?" I asked.

"Crime scene. Next?"

"Who are you? What do you do?" John asked.

"What do you think?" Sherlock asked.

"I'd say…private detective." I begun.

"But…?"

"The police don't go to private detectives." John finished. Again. Sherlock sighed.

"I'm a consulting detective. Only one in the world. I invented the job." He explained.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means when the police are out of their depth, which is always, they consult me." Sherlock described.

"The police don't consult armatures." John responded.

"When I met you for the first time yesterday, I said Afghanistan or Iraq. You looked surprised."

"Yes, how did you know?" John asked. I sat there quietly and listened to the conversation.

"I didn't know, I saw. Your haircut, the way you hold yourself says military. But your conversation as you entered the room said trained at Bart's - so Army doctor, obvious. Your face is tanned but no tan above the wrists. You've been abroad, but not sunbathing. Your limp's bad when you walk, but you don't ask for a chair when you stand. Like you've forgotten about it, so it's at least partly psychosomatic. That says the original circumstances of the injury were traumatic. Wounded in action, suntan - Afghanistan or Iraq."

"You said I had a therapist." John retorted.

"You've got a psychosomatic limp, of course you've got a therapist, you twit." John glared and I think I just saw the corners of Sherlock's mouth twist up.

"What Riza just said. Then there's your brother. Your phone. It's expensive, e-mail enabled, MP3 player. You're looking for a flat-share. You wouldn't waste money on this - it's a gift, then. Scratches. Not one, many over 's been in the same pocket as keys and coins. The man sitting next to me wouldn't treat your one luxury item like this. So it's had a previous owner. Next bit's easy. You know it already. 'Harry Watson - from Clara xxx'"

"The engraving?" I asked. Sherlock continued.

"Harry Watson - cleary a family member who's given you his old your father - this is a young man's gadget. Could be a cousin, but you're a war hero who can't find a place to live. Unlikely you've got an extended family, certainly not one you're close to, so brother it is. Now, Clara - who's Clara? Three kisses says romantic attachment. Expensive phone says wife, not girlfriend. Must've given it to him recently - this model's only six months old. Marriage in trouble, then - six months on, and already he's giving it away? If she'd left him, he would've kept it. People do, sentiment. But no, he wanted rid of it - he left her. He gave the phone to you, that says he wants you to stay in touch. You're looking for cheap accommodation and you're not going to your brother for help? That says you've got problems with him. Maybe you liked his wife, maybe you don't like his drinking." I stared in surprise.

"How can you possibly know about the drinking?" He smirked at me.

"Shot in the dark. Good one, though. Power connection - tiny little scuff marks round the edge. Every night he goes to plug it in and charge but his hands are shaking. You never see those marks on a sober man's phone, never seen a drunk's without them. There you go, you see? You two were right." Me and John glanced at each other again.

"We were right? Right about what?" John asked.

"The police don't consult amateurs."

"That was amazing." We said.

"You think so?" He asked us.

"Of course it was. It was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary." John said.

"That's not what people normally say."

"What do people normally say?" I asked, confused.

"'Piss off!'" We started laughing at that.

A/N I had fun writing this so R&R

Thank you all!,

88IAMSherLOCKED88