Kinda short this time. Sorry.
I'm still open to suggestions. In fact, I'm trying to figure out something I can do with two OC's I have. They're best friends and one specializes in electricity-alchemy and the other specializes in water-based alchemy. Any ideas?
Anyway - the war of the sexes continues!
Feeling the Heat
Edward got up earlier than usual one day and went down to the 24-hour market on 8th Avenue. He perused the isles for a while until he found a bottle filled with a red-orange liquid. He bought the bottle and headed back towards his dorm, but before he actually got there he stopped at the phone booth on base. After he'd waited there for about five minutes, Colonel Mustang showed up.
"Did you get it, Fullmetal?"
Edward pulled the bottle from his coat. "It's the strongest stuff they have. You think it'll work?"
Mustang took the bottle from him and examined it. "Yes, this should do nicely. Good work, Elric. Now, leave the rest to me."
The two alchemists parted ways. Ed went back to his dorm to avoid suspicion, while Roy went to his office on base and brewed a pot of coffee and some hot chocolate. He poured the hot liquid into cups, and then paused. He looked over the cups until he found a teacup with the initials R.H. on the side and a tin cup with the logo of Rockbell Automail on it. He took out the bottle that Edward had gotten him and put two drops into each cup. Then he put in an extra drop, for good measure.
Three minutes later, Team Mustang, the Elric brothers, and Winry Rockbell filed in and grabbed their cups of warm caffeine (or, in Ed and Winry's case, chocolate).
"Chief, you're a lifesaver," said Havoc.
Roy looked over at Riza and grinned. "Hey, you hear that, Lieutenant? I save lives!"
"Good," said Hawkeye. "Then it shouldn't be too much trouble for you to finish your paperwork today." She took a drink.
At the same time, Winry was looking over Ed's arm.
"Hey, what do you think, Winry?"
"Well, at least you haven't completely destroyed it. Again." she said. She picked up her own cup and took a drink.
The Ocsabat sauce Ed had picked up kicked in fast. Within a few seconds, Hawkeye and Winry's faces were quite pink and beads of moisture formed on their upper lips. Subsequent drinks from their cups only worsened their condition, until they were both bright red, panting, and sweat was trickling down their faces.
"Are you two okay?" said Falman.
"I-I think so," said Winry. "I just feel so hot for some reason."
"Yeah, me too," said Riza.
"Here," Edward said, placing cups of iced tea in front of the two women. "Maybe this'll help."
Riza and Winry thanked him and each took a large swallow. Two seconds later, they both jumped out of their seats and ran out the door, yelling "Hot! Too hot!"
The rest of Mustang's squad was so busy trying to figure out what was up with the women, they didn't notice Edward and Mustang clicking their cups together.
…
An Intruder in HQ
Roy Mustang was already having a long day when the cook who ran Eastern's cafeteria came barging into his office, screeching bloody murder.
"What happened?" he said.
"There's a…! There's a-a-a…! In my vegetables…! GET IT OUT!" Then she ran out of the room, still screeching.
Roy looked over at his subordinates. "Did any of you understand one word she said?"
Hawkeye: "No, sir."
Havoc: "Not a word, Chief."
Breda: "I got nothin'."
Falman: "I heard something about vegetables."
Fuery: "Me too. Otherwise it was indecipherable."
Edward: "I didn't get it either. Looked pretty spooked, though."
Alphonse: "Maybe we should check her kitchen out; see what's wrong."
There wasn't a whole lot of paperwork, so everyone agreed to look into whatever the cook was freaking out about. They tramped down to the cafeteria and started looking around. Alphonse was looking through the vegetable pantry when he saw a shadow loom over him. Gasping, he looked up.
"Guys, I think I found what the cook was so freaked out about," Al said. Mustang's team looked over at Alphonse to see him holding the perpetrator.
Mustang: "She freaked out over that?"
Riza: "It appears so, Colonel."
Havoc: "One question: why?"
Breda: "He doesn't look like he could hurt a fly if it bit him."
Falman: "It is pretty illogical. I've never known of this particular creature ever hurting anyone."
Fuery: "And really, he's so cute! Why would you be afraid of him?"
Edward: "That, Fuery, is the question. Who the hell would be afraid of a rabbit?"