Dear Future Kyle,
I don't think anyone gets what it means to be a Super Best Friend. It's like the obligations of being a good best friend.. times ten. I know, I know, this is supposed to be a letter to talk about what you are like now and how you want to change, but Stan pretty much is everything to me.
There's three guidelines we always follow; Stan dubbed them the 'RoBaSBF.' In short, the 'Rules of Being a Super Best Friend.' I just call them the rules.
"One must always help their SBF with relationship problems."
I sure as hell help out Stan with Wendy whenever he needs it. I'm glad to do it. Those two fit so well together it's insane… I don't know why they fight all the time.
"One must always share with their SBF, whether it be money, food, or clothing."
I do that, mostly. I mean, my clothes don't fit Stan anymore. I got tall, and he got… Short. Well, he's the same height as he used to be, but you know what I mean. But I'm always ready to give him money. I'm not a stingy Jew, despite what Cartman thinks. I just don't loan money to fatasses.
"One must pledge to love and support their SBF."
I do love Stan. It sucks to be in love with your best friend, but the upside is that I get to see him every day. And even when I move on, we'll still be friends. Knowing that makes me feel safe.
Future Kyle, I hope you've found someone else to love by now. But if it's Cartman, so help me God, I will come back from the past and kick your ass into the next millennia!
Best wishes,
Kyle Broflovski (age 16)
"Hey, fatass!" Twenty-five-year-old Kyle called over his shoulder. The (slightly chubby) brunette poked his head into the living room curiously. The red-haired man had been sitting on the couch, reading his letter from the past. Cartman had been off feeding the cats that lurked in the neighborhood- or more specifically, around their house. "According to Past Kyle, I'm not allowed to screw you!" Eric raised his eyebrows, indicating that Kyle should continue. "Yeah, he said he'd 'come back from the past and kick my ass into the next millennia.'"
"Wanna do it on the couch just to spite him?" Cartman suggested. His lover smirked.
"You know it."
---AvinxMile---
A/N: I... I'm so sorry! I just... Felt like writing this... I actually like Cartman/Kyle more than Stan/Kyle. It has more opportunities for kinky sex. By the way, to shamelessly advertise for one of my favorite stories, you should read Kyle In Chains by DanniDimont; one of my favorite authors! Go read her two stories, she's a goddess of Cartman/Kyle!
And now that I'm done being creepy, because I'm weirding myself out, it's off to bed for me! See you all later!