CHAPTER FOUR

Disclaimer- If I really owned twilight.... then maybe I'd be cool. (:

BPOV:

Years had gone by, each one a precious memory to Bella. Standing at her still rather young age of seventeen, she took a moment to sort everything running through her head. Edward had just sat her down, after all of these years, to finally answer all of her questions. She didn't know about his past, which was an important key to being able to understand him better.

She didn't know that she was going to be having a serious talk with him when she got home from school. She fixed dinner like normal; Edward always appreciated coming home to a home-cooked meal after working hard at the hospital. She did the laundry, too, before he got home. Bella loved to help him out in any way she could, feeling as though it was pay back for everything he does for her.

She had just put the plates on the dining room table when he walked through the front door, slamming it shut behind him. He was always so gentle about everything he did, that this small act worried her.

What had she done wrong? It was the only question that came to mind as he stormed into the kitchen.

"We have to have a talk. I'm going to change my clothes, go to the living room. Please." He said quickly, going down the hall to his bedroom.

She sat down on the couch, her heart racing. He hadn't even bothered to ask how her day went. Normally, he would question every little detail about her day, until he would be satisfied with her responses, and talk about how his work went. It seemed like hours before he emerged from his bedroom, clad in a Dartmouth hoodie and comfortable jeans. This was the most casual style of outfit he would wear; he always felt the need to look proper, even at home. His hair was still unruly, though it didn't take away from the perfect form of his face, moreover it enhanced his beauty. After all these years, she still couldn't get over how gorgeous Edward was.

"Is everything okay?" She asked as he sat down in the chair across from her.

"Yes." He sighed, before continuing. "You must be aware that I haven't really told you everything about myself, yes?"

"Yes." Bella managed to say.

"I don't think it's fair to you if I'm not being honest about everything. I'll start, I suppose, with my past; the very beginning of the mess I've come to live in.

"My parents died when I was fairly young; they died in a skiing accident. At that point, I was only five, and Alice was four. Carlisle and Esme were gracious enough to take us into their home, treating us as their own children. As I grew older, I noticed differences between them, and other people around us. I noticed how abnormally cold they always were, and how unchanging their appearances were. One night, when I was around your age, I got up the nerve to ask them about everything, because I felt left out. I felt like they were keeping something from me.

I'm going to tell you what they told me, because I don't want to have this secret hindering our relationship. I don't want a wall to be put up between us. First, I guess I should tell you that I really don't work late every Tuesday and Friday."

At this, Bella internally cringed; He was having sex. For some reason, she felt a creeping sense of betrayal at his words. She knew they weren't together, but she couldn't help but wish that they were. He was the only man that she had come across in her life that was mature enough to handle any situation. In her eyes, he wasn't a father, or a brother, he was more of a protector. He was everything she wanted.

"I go hunting, to satiate my thirst on those days. I'm going to be blunt with you Bella; I'm a vampire."

She inhaled quickly, not sure what to say. Should she laugh? The look on his face told her there was nothing funny about this, nor was he joking.

"That's.... interesting." She replied, seeing as it was the only thing that came to mind.

He chuckled dryly.

"I should have known you would say something unbiased like that. Are you afraid of me? If you want to leave, I understand." He said, bending down with his hands on her knees. His touch send her hyper aware of everything around her, but she rationed her emotions to answer him.

"I would never want to leave you." She hoped he sensed the double meaning in her words.

"I haven't even explained it all to you. I've given you merely a brief answer without telling you the whole thing. Bella, I'm technically 107 years old. Carlisle changed Alice and I when we felt the time was right; Emmett would have done it, but he was fairly unsure if he could handle biting a human without fully drinking them. There are sometimes I regret what I've done. Many of those times I'm with you, and I realize how perfect you are. I should have never taken you; you deserve so much more than I can give you."

"You've given me more than I could have ever asked for." She interrupted him, sinking down to the floor next to him. She ran her hand through his hair, comforting him as best as she could.

"Oh but if you knew a life outside of this house, you would realize how much you are missing out on. I'm sorry I'll never be enough; I'm so sorry." He began sobbing, uncontrollably. She brought his head to the nook of her neck, letting him get everything out of his system. After a while, the tears subsided, but neither of them moved. There was something peaceful, and safe about their embrace.

Bella wasn't sure what she was supposed to say now. Should she ask him all of the questions that were burning in her brain, or would it be best to end the conversation now to resume later?

"Why did you do it?" She asked, this question seeming to rattle in her brain at least once a day. She wanted to know what was so special about her that he chose to kidnap her. "I want to know your motive."

"What do you mean?"

"What did you expect to be? My father? My brother? Did you ever think about....you know...." She couldn't even say it, not wanting to picture Edward as a child abuser.

"Oh god no! I'd never touch you like that. I just wanted someone to take care of. I wanted someone to love and love me back."

"I do love you Edward." She replied, taking his face in her hands.

"I didn't mean it like that. Don't say that Bella, not now. This isn't right." He got up off of the ground, starting to pace from the couch to the door and back again.

"You don't love me." It was a statement that gave her a horrible sense of pain flooding through whole body.

"Bella, don't do this to me." He sighed, grabbing her hands and pulling her up so that he was standing in front of her. "If we do this, we have to do this right, and I'm not going to mess anything up by rushing into a relationship."

"But you want me, in that way I mean?" She asked, because she had to be sure.

"Of course I do, how could I not?" He grinned crookedly at her, making her heart studder.

"Shouldn't that be all that matters then? If you want me, and I want you, and we love each other, can't we just say it? Can't we be honest with ourselves in that way?"

He laughed shortly at her, causing her face to screw up in confusion.

"You are too smart to be so young." Edward told her, wrapping his arms around her. "Some day, I promise things will work out for us."

For some silly, teenage reason, she had to believe him. Because if she didn't, she had nothing to live for anymore.

AN: I know, its a short chapter but..... I had to get it out there, and I think it made sense. In the sequence of the story, just let me tell you I have no clue where the FUCK i'm going with this....but i'll write it as it comes to me.

Please review! It helps a lot.

333Jess