If you don't want to hear bad egg puns, ignore Picklez's comment on the bottom

- Cheez

Chapter 4

Mo/Tucker/Fluffy:Infiltration

Kimber -

I woke up the next morning, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My alarm clock was playing "Summer Love" full-blast. I got up and danced around the house to it, making myself some toast and thinking about the day before. We had met Haruhi's friends. The Host Club. I assumed she was one of them and that's why she was cross-dressing, but I wasn't quite sure why she had an interest in entertaining girls. I shrugged my shoulders and I threw my knife across the kitchen and into the sink perfectly.

"Score!" I yelled. In my room, the song had stopped and the song "Sexy Back" started. I assumed my alarm clock had decided to play my Justin Timberlake songs. I smiled and ate my toast happily. When I was finished I grabbed a book and sat in the light-filled bay window area. I started to read, but then I thought of it. Sabrina wouldn't be awake by then.

So I dropped my book and crept to her room, opening the door.

"Rise and shine!" I screamed as the dark wooden door flew open. Sabrina grunted under her blankets.

"It's Saturday," She mumbled. My mouth became a little "o" as I realized she was right. I frowned and went to my room to go on my laptop.

I had one email from Alison, and one from my mother. I decided Alison's was more important, so I clicked on it and it opened up.

"Hey! How's Japan? Wonderful of course! Ah, I'll give you an update on things here. Well, we all tried out for Canadian Idol (Marshall sang 'Shoes' of course) and James even made it on TV!

Anyways, we all agreed it was my turn to email, next time its Victoria's turn (haha we played rock, paper, scissors to decide).

Hope you're having fun!

- Alison"

I laughed to myself at the thought of Jamison (His name's Jamie but we call him James or Jamison) singing. I was proud of Marshall for singing "Shoes" however. I decided to email Alison back.

"Alison, I'm glad you're having fun, but don't have too much fun without me! Sabrina and I are slowly fitting in (okay not really) to the snobby rich people scene. We met a cross-dresser, and scary twins. I mean, the twins aren't that bad to look at but they gave me sass so I decided I hate them. Tell Marshall I miss him and that I'm proud of him for trying out for Canadian Idol! Tell him to follow his dreams! strikes heroic pose

Okay, see you.

- Kimber"

I closed the laptop, deciding my mom's email could wait. I walked over to our bay window and watched cars pass. Those two guys I met before, the little blond one and then tall black-haired one, they were part of that "Host Club", as were the twins and the cross-dresser, Haruhi. I assumed they just entertained and talked to the desperate girls of Ouran. I, unlike Sabrina, wanted to stay and do more research on this club, but I feared she would think I was a creep. So I devised a plan where I would make it seem like I was separating from her in the crowd at school on Monday, but actually I'd be running off to stalk the club members. I needed some ninja training anyways, might as well.

I then took clipboard, pens, math set, and notebook and printed off a map of the school from the internet. I spent hours planning the best ways to get to the third music room. I then looked up the schedules of the two older ones (I was shocked to find out the young blond one was a senior) and I planned that they would be my first victims. All the while, without letting Sabrina know of this, I would trick her into asking the twins and Haruhi things to make them spill a little. I wouldn't go back in that club until I knew the dirt on the members.

I decided to try Google. People in a club like that had to be on Google.

I started with the twins, typing in Hikaru and Kaoru. I came up with many shirtless pictures of them and I quickly clicked on web and not images. I got something. "Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin Official Fan Club". In many ways, I was scared, in other ways, I was excited. Fangirls make the best stalkers; it would probably have their entire past on there. After my little stalking session I was bored again so I lay down in our hardwood hallway and fell fast asleep.

I woke up later, feeling a pinch in my side. It got worse and worse until I opened my eyes. Sabrina was leaning over me, her blonde locks obscuring her face. I rubbed my side.

"Gave me a friggen' bruise," I muttered under my breath, getting up.

"What're we going to do today?" Sabrina asked.

"Sing songs?" I suggested, thinking of more random things;

"Sword fight?"

"Drink tea?"

"Dance to Italian Techno music?"

"Buy a pet?"

"Go to a pet store and ask to look at every animal, then not buy anything?"

Sabrina pursed her lips. "I'm liking that last option." She nodded her head like we were listening to music.

"Or, we lay on the floor and stare up at the ceiling until we fall asleep," I suggested.

"Okay, that requires much less effort," Sabrina said, obliging and lying beside me.

"You know…" I muttered after a while. "You can really tell how pathetic we are when we go to another country and we lay on the floor instead of going outside.

"Yes, but it's bright outside, we don't want to risk blindness," Sabrina observed.

I nodded. "Exactly!" I sang.

After what seemed like hours, and was actually five minutes, I jumped up.

"Let's go outside! Let's go for a hike! Let's go shopping!" I exclaimed.

Sabrina nodded vigorously. "Shopping is good!"

I smiled slyly and ran to my room. Sabrina came in a while later wearing some suitable clothes. I laughed at her.

"No idiot! Online shopping, for useless junk!" I exclaimed.

"No thanks," Sabrina said politely, walking out.

I then did some shopping, right up until suppertime when I walked out and called Sabrina to me.

"What's for supper?" She asked me.

"I'm thinking scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns, what about you?" I asked, turning to her. She was drooling.

"Bacon…" She mumbled. I took that as a yes and got cracking (haha got cracking! There were eggs involved!).

After our breakfast (supper) feast, we lounged about the house, bored again. Bored on a Saturday, wow we're losers.

We then went our separate ways, tired of each other. I sat promptly on my bed, glancing around the room in horror. I knew it had to be painted, but because of what I had bought today, I wouldn't have much money for a while.

I opened up my laptop, seeing the Hitachiin Twins fansite. The address was "www.hitachiinotaku." and here was a purple picture of the twins that said "We Are One" under it. I blinked twice. There was a "Daily Lives" portion of the site that I clicked on, revealing some… interesting information. I smiled slyly and ran to Sabrina's room.

"Egg McMuffin, we have a mission," I told her. She smirked.

"What is it BigWac?" She asked me.

"Party infiltration," I told her like it explained everything.

"Whose?" She asked.

I narrowed my eyes. "The twins."

"We'll need disguises."

"Oh yes."

So we ran to our rooms to find everything we could. I'm a quick dresser, so I threw on black leggings and a long black dress (one that's easy to move in, mind you). I threw on a hat that looked like something an old grandma would wear and huge round sunglasses. I walked out of my room and moments later Sabrina came out wearing all black and her camo toque. I passed her a pair of sunglasses and we walked out the door and into the bright world outside. Sabrina immediately shielded her eyes out of habit.

"Ah! My ey-" She started, finally realizing it wasn't bright. I pointed to my sunglasses and she nodded, understanding finally that she was wearing some too. We ran stealthily across our lawn, it was beginning to get dark, but the sun still peeked out from above some not-so-tall buildings. As we ran I glanced at our neighbors house and I saw a little boy sitting on the front porch, drinking a grape juice box. He waved to me and I waved back with a smile, running into a lamppost. The covered his mouth because he was laughing at me and I got up, brushing off my outfit. Sabrina hadn't even noticed, she was ahead of me. We kept running and I stopped abruptly, stopping Sabrina with my hand.

"Where do they live?" I asked her curiously.

"Crap!" She yelled. We then turned around and ran back to our house. I ran and dove into my room and onto my bed, almost knocking the laptop off. I checked where they lived on the website and closed it up, running outside.

"WAIT!" I screamed. Sabrina stopped mid-run. I took my cellphone out of my pocket and got it to play a dramatic ringtone as we ran, rolling on the grass. The kid was still drinking his grape juice. He laughed at us.

We darted across the lawn like startled chipmunks and we crawled into the party, sticking to the shadows of the mansion and making our way to the refreshment table, spotting the twins. We crouched behind the refreshment table.

"This place is like… no, it is a party mansion!" I whispered loudly to Sabrina. The music was blaring and there were flashing lights and sweaty, dancing bodies everywhere. It was so glamorous. We poked our heads around the refreshment table in unison. We saw someone talking to Kaoru and then walking over to pour him a drink. He poured some other liquid in it, a substance I was all too familiar with (not that I drank any) Canadian Rye. I turned to Sabrina and we nodded our head understandingly as we saw Kaoru about to take a sip. I jumped out, grabbing the drink. Sabrina tackled him.

"There was alcohol in this! You're underage!" I scolded. I started to walk away and I lifted the drink precariously to my lips. Within in the blink of an eye, Hikaru slapped my hand and sent the drink flying, the glass shattered on the floor.

"You're underage too," He said blankly. I pursed my lips. People were staring. Feeling the strange aura of death that was radiating throughout the room, Hikaru and I turned around in unison only to see Sabrina sitting on Kaoru's chest and making strange hand gestures, seeming to be explaining something to him. Sabrina looked up at me with a curious smile.

"Shall we take our leave?" She asked cheerfully, still sitting on Kaoru. I caught the looks we were getting.

"Code red! Code red! Abort mission immediately!" I screamed. Sabrina and I jumped out the nearest window, rolling into the neatly trimmed hedges. Hikaru and Kaoru were both standing at the door unblinkingly. I waved to them and Sabrina pulled me along by my shirt collar. We ran hastily back to our house. The kid with the juice box wasn't there anymore. I frowned. I liked that kid.

We made it home in one piece, feeling tired and ready to go to bed.

I woke up the next morning, smelling coffee. I narrowed my eyes. Sabrina had coffee. That's never good.

I shrugged it off and opened up my laptop, eyeing my mother's email warily. I ignored it. I then heard a big thunk outside.

"Kiiiimber," Sabrina's voice called warily. I bounced off my bed, my laptop falling to the ground. I ran outside to see Sabrina talking to our bald neighbor (who I assumed was the awesome kid's father). I glanced up, my smile spreading across my face like wildfire. Before me was a box the height of our house and the width of three very fat men.

I turned to face Sabrina and the man, waving my fingers excitedly.

"Guess what I spent my life savings on!" I squealed. Sabrina's eyes widened.

"Where's the carpet knife?" I asked. Sabrina pointed inside. I ran inside, straight to my designated knife drawer. I found the carpet knife and I went back into the outside world, seeing our neighbor walking away. I giggled because he was bald and then I got to work. I jumped onto the box full-force and ran the knife down one corner, doing the same to the other three. The sides of the box slowly fell off and I basked in the shadow of the glorious object before me, a giant electronic dinosaur that sensed motion by roaring when you stepped near it. I stomped and the dinosaur roared loudly. I giggled.

"That is the most pointless thing I have ever seen," Sabrina said blankly, sipping her coffee.

"You're sane when you're drinking coffee," I pointed out to her.

"No. The caffeine just hasn't kicked in yet," Sabrina said. My eyes widened, realizing she was right and I would have to deal with it. I shrugged it off and stomped again, giggling at the dinosaur's roaring. Sabrina started talking but I remained oblivious to her, hugging the dinosaur.

"I will name you… Fluffy," I whispered. "No, no." After carefully analyzing it, I decided on a name. "Mo."

"Too embarrassed by that name?" I asked it. "I understand completely. Okay then, in public I will call you Tucker."

"Doesn't that make sense?" Sabrina asked. I nodded absently, having absolutely no clue of what she was talking about. We then went back in the house.

"What else did you buy?" Sabrina asked.

"Nothing!" I said hastily, nervously, waving my arms dismissively. "Except for all the Naruto manga, a giant electronic dinosaur, a Wii and a new T.V."

"What?"

"Nothing!" I then ran to my room, only to be attacked. I almost screamed, but my mouth was covered by a gloved hand. It was a code black, angry fangirl attack.

"Commence interrogation," A girl with blue hair demanded of the one with blonde hair, who was covering me. The blue-haired one shut off the light and turned on my lamp while the blonde one tied me up with blankets and threw me on the bed, taping over my mouth. I rolled back and forth. I wanted to escape, I knew I could, I had my carpet knife in my pocket and they hadn't tied my legs, but you never know what deadly things fangirls have up their sleeves.

A green haired girl hopped in, holding my lamp above my head to add to the atmosphere.

"On April 9th, 2008, at approximately 9:42 PM at the Hitachiin Residence Mansion 4 this girl both stole a drink from Kaoru and was slapped by Hikaru, breaking up the evening and ruining their lovely party," The blonde girl recited.

"You were trying to do it weren't you!" The blue-haired one sneered, her nose curling up so that it looked like a pig nose. At that point I decided to call her Porky-Piggington. "You wanted some attention, being a commoner as well as a new student, you were an outsider. So your friend and you decided to go party-crashing."

"Is that right!? IS IT!?" The blonde asked. "Answer me commoner!"

"Hello!?" I tried to ask. Did they even realize they taped my mouth?

"Dumbass, you taped her mouth shut!" Porky-Piggington scolded. The blonde (whom I shall call Kandy) hung her head.

"I thought she'd bite me…" She mumbled. Porky (for short) shook her head.

"I wasn't trying anything," I assured them with a firm glare.

"If you want Hikaru…" Kandy mumbled.

"Or Kaoru…" The green haired girl (who looked like she should be named JelloPudding) added.

"Your social life is as good as dead," Porky hissed. I laughed.

"Excuse me, but I don't even have a social life," I told her blankly. Porky shrieked angrily.

"You stay away from those twins!" She screamed.

"Yeah, or we'll make your life a living hell," Kandy whispered, a sinister tone in her voice.

"Kandy, shut up, please?" Porky scolded. Kandy pursed her lips. They then just left through my window. I blinked a few times, dazed. I walked out of my room only to see Sabrina, harboring the same expression I had. We exchanged nervous glances and I got the funny feeling that we went through a similar experience. The air was tense between us as we each wandered aimlessly around the house.

"Ahhh I'm goin' to bed," Sabrina said, running off. I shrugged and got myself some orange crush out of the fridge.

"RAWR!" I heard. I ran outside, spotting the little Grape Juice Boy from before. He didn't notice me and kept stomping, making Mo/Tucker/Fluffy roar. I darted back inside and picked up what I needed.

I decided to make things interesting.

"Hey you crazy kid! Get off my lawn!" I screamed like an old man, running towards him like a chicken with its head cut off, waving an umbrella crazily in the air. The kid screamed and ran onto his own lawn, diving behind a bush with pure skill. I even, just for a moment, considered taking him on as my ninja apprentice.

Actually…

But I'd have to lure him inside…

I smirked when I noticed the purple stains around his mouth.

"Hey kid! I've got grape juice!" I yelled. He came running toward me full-speed, smiling. I put my arm around his shoulder affectionately, lightly touching his short brown-black hair.

"That right there," I said, pointing to the dinosaur, "Is named Tucker. Or Mo, whichever you prefer. But only his very best friends call him Mo. And I figure you're on good terms with him so you can call him Mo." The kid nodded excitedly. Was he mute or something?

He then shot me a look that said; "Where's the grape juice bitch?" And I jumped away, scared of the little monstrosity before me.

"I um, have to go pee," I said nervously. "And never come back out!" I then ran in the house, closing and locking the door behind me. Okay, I may have overreacted a little, but that kid's scary.

I'll have to admit it; I was so scared that I stayed in my room all afternoon and night without eating. I woke up from my deep sleep at 4:00 AM, feeling ready for the day. I took a shower, it was wonderful, I loved showers.

So I then turned on "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance and I sang along loudly(Sabrina could sleep through anything). I could hear loud voices coming from next door and I glanced out the kitchen window while I danced and did the dishes. The Grape Juice Boy was singing in his dining room(it had a huge window that I could see him in). So I confirmed that he isn't mute. I smiled and kept singing, realizing that the kid wasn't even skipping out on the swears. I gasped.

The kid swears?

That's awesome.

My dishes were then done and I turned on the song "Pretty Fly (for a white guy)" by Offspring and I danced to Sabrina's room, opening the door and singing along. Sabrina wasn't normally a morning person but this song was special.

"Give it to me baby, ah huh ah huh!" I sang loudly. Sabrina sat up to join me.

"Give it to me baby!" She chorused.

"Ah huh ah huh!"

And we went along our morning routine singing. When it was time to head out the door I turned off the music and grabbed my backpack, making my merry way.

We skipped happily to school. I basked in its glory once more. I really loved that school. I would marry the owner of the school if I ever met him/her (yes! Even if it's a girl!) We approached the school cautiously, bursting through the doors into hallways that were hustling and bustling with yellow and light purple blobs.

We rushed to our math class and took our places in front of the infamous twins. The twins were, for some reason, wearing hats. I sensed the vibe we were getting from the other girls in the class. An evil one. I sensed we would die today. I turned around.

"Kaoru, go back to your spot," I commanded, narrowing my eyes.

"How do you know-" Kaoru started.

"That's he Kaoru?" Hikaru finished.

"Because he is," I said blankly.

"I'm Kaoru," Hikaru said.

"I'm Kaoru," Kaoru said.

"I'm Kaoru!"

"I'm Kaoru!"

"Oh no! You can not be Kaoru! I'm Kaoru!"

"Mittens!" I screamed. "He's Kaoru, you're Kaoru, I'm Kaoru!" I had lost it, it was the end of the line for me. There was no going back.

"Now for the love of god get back to your seat Kaoru or I will come back there and kick your ass for destroying my order!" Kaoru's eyes widened and he obliged, switching with his twin. Sabrina turned around.

"Don't destroy her order," She warned. She then rolled her eyes and turned back around. "Damn obsessive-compulsive people…"

I breathed heavily and got back to work, cooling down quickly.

"Sooo… nice party…" I mumbled to no one in particular.

"It was until you ruined it," Hikaru mumbled sourly. I turned around to see him staring off into the distance, hand under his chin. He seemed to be either pouting or thinking hard and I didn't want to interrupt him. I turned back around and finished my math for the day surprisingly quickly, leaving quite a bit of class to slack off. But I couldn't think of anything to do so I sat in silence until Chemistry.

I was excited for Chemistry because I vowed that today would be the day that I talk to my awesome Italian partner.

I sat down promptly beside him, observing his olive-skinned, stoic figure.

"Why hello there," I said happily.

"Hey," He said, putting on his Chemistry goggles and getting back to work. I scowled.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"Good," He replied, still working. I was determined to get a conversation going.

"You know, I didn't catch your name…"

"Demetrio."

He wasn't much of a talker, was he?

"Were you born in Italy?"

"It's polite for you to say your name after I say mine." He passed the chemistry beaker to me after recording all of the amounts of fluid needed, trusting me (for some reason) to pour them.

"Kimber." I poured some orange liquid into the beaker in the amount he was pointed to with a long, gloved finger.

"Yes, I was born in Italy, but I know little Italian, I came here when I was but a year old."

I nodded. "I came here this year."

He chuckled. "I can tell."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Your accent."

"Oh." He leaned over me to take the vial from my hands, they were shaking too much.

"It's from writing, I think it's a disease."

He laughed. "I bet." We finished our work and Demetrio leaned back in his chair, taking a manly stance. I tried to mimic it and I fell off my chair. He laughed at me and helped me up.

"So why did you move here in the first place?" I asked him casually.

"My step-mother is Japanese and my father wanted to open an Italian restaurant… somewhere other than Italy," He explained. I nodded.

"I'll have to stop by there some time," I said with a smile. The bell rang and class was over so I waved goodbye to Demetrio.

"I see you talked to the Italian guy," Sabrina congratulated, meeting with me at the door out of the classroom. We walked to English together, preparing ourselves for another class of glares. English had the same seating plan as Math. I took my seat in front of Hikaru, making sure it was Hikaru this time. I raised my eyebrow and went to listening to the sensei's lecture. It was long and boring but I listened anyways. After that, he announced that we were going to be starting a creative writing assignment, and Sabrina and I, being the writers we are, finished within fifteen minutes. I glanced at Sabrina, who was half-asleep. Her hand slowly started to dip and she dropped her pencil.

"Does someone wanna pick that up?" She grumbled.

"No," I replied warily.

"Does someone wanna pick that up?"

"No."

"Does someone wanna pick that up?"

"No."

"Does someone wanna pick that up?"

"I'll do it, okay?" Kaoru said, leaning down and picking it up gracefully. As he passed it to her his eyes seemed to glow and his face lit up like the trivial task was the greatest thing he had ever done.

"I could have done it without making a big deal out of it," I snapped, snatching the pencil out of Kaoru's hands and passing it to Sabrina. Kaoru frowned and sat back down. I could feel the deadly aura as I looked around. Shadows fell over the fangirl's faces as they glared at us. Either at Sabrina for having Kaoru try to help her or at me for making Kaoru frown. I couldn't tell, but I knew we had to leave. We were done our work anyway, and the window was open…

"Egg McMuffin, we have a definite Code Black, I suggest we leave the premises through the nearest open, glass escape route," I hinted. Sabrina caught on and jumped out the window, carrying our books. I followed her, stopping at the window and flicking my hand as a wave to Haruhi and the twins, who were the only ones who saw us leave.

hehhe. Got cracking. I crack myself up. HAH! hhahah!

About the Rye thing, I don't like it, I HAVE tasted it, however cuz my dad mixed it with coke in a COKE BOTTLE in the fridge. It SMELLED fine... :-(

That website, www.hitachiinotaku. is a real website, if you go to our profile and click homepage you'll get to it. We made it to dedicate it to this story.

I TALKED TO THE ITALIAN GUY! OH, HOW I WAS WAITING FOR THIS PART!

My two favourite characters, Grape Juice Boy (name to be announced, we're just calling him either that or "Awesome kid" for now), and the Italian guy, I don't even remember his name.

Cheez will be finished the next chapter very soon.

BTW SORRY FOR TAKING SO MUCH TIME TO UPDATE! I GOT A NEW VIDEO GAME AND THAT NEVER ENDS WELL!

Love you all to pieces, R & R!

- Picklez