A/N: Again, a big thank you to all those who reviewed, favourited and story-alerted! If your name isn't amongst those whose letters were answered, don't panic! They're most likely in the next batch. :-) And please keep sending messages to poor Muku!
The rating went up to T because of certain characters' infamous potty mouths.
(Letters from reviews received Sept. 9 - phanpymanaphy, MakaMaka, YamiNoUe, kuromi69neko, Hafous, Rein-Pudding + anonymous posters signed 'qqsha' & 'Ahaha')
Chrome might be halfway across the world and Hibari might be flat-out refusing to acknowledge his presence (let alone tolerate the intrusion of a single hair within stepping distance of the Foundation's section of the underground base), but time waits for no-one and those emails with pleas for help (if you could call them that) continued to filter into his inbox. It soon became routine for Mukuro to start up the computer and head straight for his email.
...
Dear 69-sama,
How do you do your pineapple-ish hair? It's something me and my friends haven't been able to do...
-I-think-69-sama-should've-been-called-Nappo-chan
...
To that, Mukuro only had this to say:
There is only one reason why you fail in your attempts to imitate it - because it is not based off of a pineapple.
- 69
...
Dear 69-sama,
6984 ring any bells for you? I hope so :D
-Randomness
...
Ah, he had heard about this new craze of labelling people with numbers. A quick search on the internet told him all he needed to know.
...
Randomness,
Certainly it rings bells. Warning bells. For you. Does that make this a roundabout plea for mercy before I find you and give you a slow and painful death?
- 69
...
Dear 69-sama,
1896 ftw~! XD
-OCF (Obsessive Compulsive Fangirl)
...
To Obsessive Compulsive Fangirl,
You are fortunate Kyoya was not around to read that.
- 69
...
"You have fans?" a terse voice intruded.
Mukuro turned to face the speaker, one Hayato Gokudera. The special smirk he reserved only for Tsuna's right-hand man was immediately plastered liberally over his face. He slung his arm over the back of his chair and projected an air of arrogance, carefully designed to incite maximum annoyance in the Guardian of Storm.
"Is that such a surprise?" Mukuro drawled.
Gokudera glowered darkly and, clenching his fists, countered with another question, "Trying to recruit followers for when you turn against the Tenth, Mukuro?"
How quaint that, even after all these years, the man continued to believe that the illusionist could not be trusted. "I do not need large numbers to accomplish my plans, whatever you may think they are, Hayato Gokudera," Mukuro said, deliberately laughing in the other's face.
"You bastard. If you do anything to the Tenth...!" Gokudera made to draw back a fist and punch the illusionist. It hovered there for a moment as Tsuna's request for him to curb his anger warred with his simmering hate of the illusionist. In the end, with a noisy exhalation, he let his hand fall back to his side.
"If you even try to do anything to the Tenth, I'll be right there to stop you," he threatened.
Mukuro had not even flinched when the other man's fist had been raised. "Admirable talk, coming from someone whom I can readily possess at will." And just to prove his point, he leaped into the Storm Guardian's mind and froze the man's limbs. Spluttering with outrage, Gokudera strained to free himself.
"You f**king bastard!" the trapped Guardian yelled. As the man continued to hurl insults and other verbal abuse at him, Mukuro began to wonder whether he should have also frozen his jaws. Before he could do anything else, Tsuna came in, drawn by the well-known tones of Gokudera's shouts. The amber-haired man took in the situation at a glance and sent a disapproving look in his Guardian of Mist's direction.
"Mukuro..." he said warningly.
Mukuro did not immediately free Gokudera. For several long seconds, he and Tsuna stared at each other, each man trying to face down the other. A tense silence followed and Gokudera's eyes flicked between the two men, waiting to see who would win in this battle of wills.
The first to make any move was Mukuro, whose lips suddenly twitched upwards. Without a word, he released his hold on the other Guardian who shuddered and shook himself then clenched his fists several times to ensure that he really was back in control of his body.
"You...!" Gokudera began furiously, reaching for one of the numerous bombs concealed on his person.
"Gokudera, please. Don't." Tsuna smiled tremulously - that was all that was needed to dissuade the Storm Guardian who, with a slight grumble, abandoned his plan to blast the 'Mist bastard' to smithereens.
"Shall I stay, Tenth?" 'To keep an eye on him' was implied by the distrustful glance Gokudera shot Mukuro.
"No, I'll be fine." Tsuna flashed a more at-ease smile at the silver-haired man. The Guardian of Storm bowed and retreated reluctantly, muttering curses and other crude phrases in Italian underneath his breath.
"If you want to insult me, do it in a language I cannot understand," Mukuro called after him, also in Italian. There was a growl and a fist colliding with a dull thud against the wall (and more curses as said fist's knuckles almost cracked) before Gokudera finally left the two on their own.
"I still think I should tell him," Tsuna said as he watched his right-hand man depart.
Mukuro shrugged and turned back to the laptop. "Do what you wish. It is not as if he is the only one after my head," he murmured.
Tsuna glanced at Mukuro, worry creasing his brow. "Everyone will understand if I explain it to them." Then he groaned. "Except Reborn..."
Mukuro scoffed. "The Arcobaleno answers to you now."
"Mm..." The Decimo shuffled his feet awkwardly then came over to peer at what Mukuro was typing.
...
Dear ** 69.
VOI! WHY THE ** HAVE A SEX POSITION AS YOUR USERNAME, HAH? A LOT OF DIGNITY YOU HAVE THERE!
- GrandeSpadaccino.
...
And Mukuro's response was:
Loud-mouthed Varia swordsman,
You are one to talk. If I recall, you are the one who repeatedly says, "F**k, you", as you have just demonstrated. And very boldly as well. Should I be concerned about what you Varia get up to while Tsunayoshi is not watching?
- 69
...
Tsuna laughed nervously. "Are you really going to send that?"
Mukuro clicked the mouse. "I already have," he said, chuckling at the stricken expression that flitted across the Vongola boss' face.
"Oh, look, there's something from Chrome!" Tsuna pointed. A few clicks and the window with the email's contents popped up:
...
Dear 69-sama,
I find this is the only way I can communicate with you after seeing this...
When can I see you again?
C.D.
...
Peeking out of the corner of his eye, Tsuna saw that Mukuro wore the faintest of smiles as he replied:
Dear Chrome,
It will be a month at most but do not worry, my dear Chrome. I will be here when you return. Please take care.
- 69
...
"You can sit, Tsunayoshi," Mukuro commented dryly. Face reddening slightly, Tsuna pulled out a chair and perched on the edge, a silent observer as Mukuro went through the rest of the messages.
...
Dear 69-kun,
Since you're out of Vendicare and don't necessarily need Chrome-chan anymore... Can I have her?
-11
...
Julie Katou,
Being a part of the Shimon Family will not stop me from killing you if you hurt her.
- 69
...
Tsuna wrinkled his nose and looked slightly worried but otherwise said nothing.
...
Dear 69-sama,
I've been dying to know the secret of how to do you zig-zag part in my hair, but I have failed every time. How do you do it?
~Ue-chan~
...
Ue,
That is a secret.
- 69
...
"That wasn't helpful at all," Tsuna chided, smiling weakly.
...
Dear 69-Chan,
You see, I found this weird trident outside my house this morning and it gives me a uncomfortable feeling. It kind of scary...but I like it. How do you suppose I should make use of it? I have decided to keep it.I really want to stab someone with this. Though I know I shouldn't.
Love, TheOneWithTheTrident
...
So that was where his trident had gone, Mukuro thought. This would be the last time he trusted someone else with his weapon. How hard was it to lose track of something that was that big?
...
To TheOneWithTheTrident,
Go to the abandoned warehouse outside Namimori's high school tomorrow evening. There will be someone to meet you there.
- 69
...
"What are you planning to do?" Tsuna asked warily. "Not...kill them, I hope?"
The other man's answer was directly to the point yet avoided the question entirely: "I will take back what is mine."
...
69-chan~
I am like so totally in need of advice on like how to style my hair, like its so bland and dull! You have like no idea how last season my hair style is now~ 69-chan, you have like any totally, like TOTALLY awesome hair advice?
-Like Hair Advice Totally ASAP
...
To the one who wants hair advice,
Stop using chemicals.
- 69
...
This prompted Tsuna to glance at Mukuro's unusually-styled hair. Was it natural or...? He had never thought to ask. He doubted Mukuro would give a clear answer anyway.
...
Dear 69-sama,
i was told dat i cannot harrass tsuna-kun anymore...by my UMA sister...any advise on how i can get my hands on him without anyone else finding out...especially tenth's right hand man...?
from,
i need ur helppp~
P.S:how do i explain thiss...
u are actually my box...person...
please come home...
i miss u D:
...
Tsuna's eyes widened and he gaped. He sat where he was, petrified, as Mukuro laughed, too shocked to make a move to prevent these words from appearing across the screen:
To the one with the UMA sister,
I only have one box animal and I am certain it is not you.
However, if you want Tsunayoshi I'll gladly help. In fact, your words have already conveniently terrified him into a statue, so it is a simple matter of tying him up and leaving him where you can pick him up. Kufufu~
- 69
Tsuna finally found his voice. "M-Mukuro! You can't be serious!" he all but squeaked.
"Oh, but I am deadly serious," Mukuro assured him. In the blink of an eye, a life-sized statue of Tsuna stood beside them - an exact replica of the Vongola Decimo, only in marble rather than flesh and blood. While Tsuna stared at it, a length of rope appeared in Mukuro's hand and the illusionist stood to wrap it around and tie it firmly to the waist of the statue.
"What do you think, Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro asked, stepping back and examining the entire thing with a critical eye.
Tsuna stared for a few seconds more. Without warning, a laugh burst out of him. He clutched his sides; his entire frame shook with the force of his laughter. For a moment, he had thought his Mist Guardian had been serious about tying him up, and the relief he felt only served to add to his mirth.
"This is...! You...!" Tsuna giggled and even Mukuro had to chuckle good-naturedly at that.
...
After they had a good laugh, Tsuna excused himself and swept out of the room, having recalled some urgent reports that needed to be looked over before the end of the day. Mukuro was left to finish the emails on his own with the stony gaze of the silent sentinel of the replica Vongola Decimo looking over his shoulder.
...
Dear 69-san
Lately I've been seeing some of Rebonr's character walking around my neighborhood and doing their usual insane stuff, I know they are not supposed to be real but I just can't ignore them!
so you got me wondering is this one of your perfect illusions?
if yes please never release it^^
p.s say hi to Chrome :D
~UMA's are real~
...
The paradoxical nature of this email caused him to raise one elegant brow.
...
UMA believer,
If I am supposedly a figment of the imagination then how are you talking to me, hmm?
- 69
...
As Mukuro clicked 'send' his shoulders shook for the second time that day with silent laughter.
It seems the experiment was successful after all. Kufufufufu~
...
(What experiment, you ask? That is for him to know and the dear reader to find out.)
More narration, less narration, keep the narration? I'd like to know your thoughts. Having some/any plot will slow me down probably, but I think it will keep this interesting.