Chapter 4. Conspiritorical Cats
Michael Gruber sat in the makeup chair as Maryanne dabbed his left eye with grey. Out of the right, he was watching Jacob and Alicia as the girl rucked through Jake's hair, picking out dried blood from where he'd cracked himself earlier on the pipe, chatting idly as if this were an everyday occurrence for her. Feeling only a little guilty, he eavesdropped on them.
"…turns out that I'm Bi." Jacob muttered as he looked up at Alicia's arms, trying vainly to see what she was doing. "Really? I had wondered. I couldn't find a site that agreed with anything, and you shut down your MySpace…I Googled everyone on the cast before I joined so I could get an idea of things, sooo…" Alicia said, grabbing a peroxide swap and dabbing her friend's head. "Yeah, I taught at this ballet school for a while, and the aunt of one of the girls came in for private lessons…her yoga instructor had died and she wanted to try something different…and, well, the next thing I know, I'm looking at sexy underwear to buy her for her birthday. Guess who the aunt was."
"Shelby."
"Bingo! Yeah…just goes to show you can't control or tell who you're going to fall in love with. John about had kittens when I told him. Ooh! No offence Etcy!" Jake yelled back and the yellow queen, who was helping Charlotte. Her daughter Viceverca was glued to her back, dead asleep. "None taken!" she smiled back.
"Well, as long as you're happy…"
"Thing is, I still, well, you know, like men, but, well, we manage that, but that's why Shells freaked when John grabbed my ass last week." Jacob said, a slight blush on his face.
"Please," Alicia laughed, drying Jake's hair roughly. "John grabs everyone's ass. He's as bad as the cat he plays. There, all patched up. How the hell you did this…jeez…"
Michael chuckled quietly when Alicia squeaked as Tugger snuck behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. "I heard that." the big cat murmured in her ear, grinning wickedly "and I can make you pay for it too." Alicia reared an eyebrow, looking back at him. "Really?" she smiled; scooting to the left, she twisted her arm behind him, grabbing a handful of his ass as hard as she could and steered him around her. The shocked tom yelped and jumped awkwardly, his face winced up in pain. "How were you planning on doing that again?" Alicia giggled as he rubbed the sore spot on his butt.
Somehow managing to look suave as he did so, Tugger leaned back, putting an elbow on Michael's wigged head. "You'll have to stop that soon, you know, I'm starting to enjoy it."
"I'll tell Bomba. Her claws should make things interesting."
Tugger looked to the left and yelled "Coming, Munks!" before darting off.
Michael was laughing when a cell phone went off next to him. He snagged it, looking at the name on the I.D. "Cici, phone," he said as he tossed the thing at her "It's your sister." She caught it and flipped it open in one swift move, exchanging the usual pleasantries as she redid Jake's face. Michael was finishing his costume snap up when a yell greeted his ears.
"WHAT?! No, I don't understand. Yes, I'm fucking yelling! What the hell…Oh, I'm coming over there as soon as filming today's over! No, don't tell them, I want them to be surprised! Yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, bye!" Alicia slammed shut her phone and screamed at it, hurling it into the nearest wall. The old dinosaur didn't break, but Jake, Michael, and everyone else in the makeup room stared at her. Jake's face was half done.
"What's wrong?" Michael and Jake asked at the same time. Alicia turned to them, tears running down her face, her eyes livid. "I've gotta go talk to Andrew…I'm sorry…Maryanne, could you…" she trailed off, waving vaguely at Jacob's face. The brunette went to work immediately as Alicia left the room, everyone staring after her worriedly. "I need to quit playing secretary," Michael groaned, knowing nothing good would come of this.
Alicia stomped out through the set, running into Bryn as she stormed towards Andrew. "Hey!" the actor yelled "What the fuck's your problem, Connors? What's wrong with you?" Alicia rounded on him. "Bryn, I do not have time for your bullshit right now! Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe when hell freezes over and you decide to grow a soul, but not NOW!" she stomped off, tears streaming down her face. Bryn followed her with his eyes. "Fine then, see if I ever ask what's wrong with you again. So much for being nice." he called after her.
Andrew Lloyd Webber saw the upset girl coming towards him and stood from his chair slowly. She was crying full tilt by the time she had reached him. Before she could say a word, the old playwright put an arm around her. "Miss Connors, what's the matter?"
"Mr. Webber, I-I…I'm not gonna ask for time off, but…but I'm so sorry, but I might have to come in late tomorrow…family matters…would you …could you please forgive me?"
Andrew saw how upset she was, and patted her on the back. "Whenever you feel like coming in tomorrow is fine with me. I'm sure Electra won't mind playing herself. Whatever is going on, I hope you sort through it okay, alright dear?"
"Thank you, Andrew."
"Just take care of yourself today, okay?"
"I will…thanks…"
Alicia grabbed her things and left the studio. John, Mistoffelees, Michael, and their counterparts surreptitiously peeped out of the door still wondering or just starting to wonder what was going on.
The Next Day
Alicia was a demon. She went through every routine with military precision, never missing a step or a note. Every task she was given was taken care of in seconds, and even Bryn was polite to her when she went to grab everyone's lunch. Everyone on set figured out quick it was the wrong day to mess with her. She was scary when she was mad. Andrew watched her with concern, asking her closest friends on set what the matter was. None of them knew. She hadn't spoken a word all day.
During break, John and Tugger were lounging around, yapping about their favorite soap operas, when they heard a yell.
"Tugger!" came Alicia's voice as she came towards them. The two shot up, both thinking of the same plan to get their friend in a better mood.
"Yes?" they asked, looking around at her from behind and striking identical poses.
Alicia paused. Those two were next to impossible to tell apart when John was in costume, and Mistoffelees had glamoured Tugger earlier in the day to look more like he was in a costume. The girl groaned. "Hold on." she muttered. Putting a hand on either one's waist, she leaned between them, looking first at one's luscious rear and then the other's. The real Tugger was on the left.
"You," she pointed to Tugger "Go find Mistoffelees, we've kept missing each other all day, and I need to talk to him."
"Which one?"
"You know what, both. And you," she pointed at John "Gillian needs your help with something. Oh, and guys, thanks; that was cute." The first real smile showed up. It was small, but that was all the two had wanted.
The two smiled and darted off to do their respective favors. Tugger returned with the actor and the Jellicle. Jacob was in the middle of a diet coke, and Mistoffelees was idly juggling four balls of light. They sat down as they reached Alicia.
"Guys, I need to talk to you…um, Tugger…can I speak with them alone?"
"What? Oh, oh sure." Looking only slightly dejected, the big tom left. Alicia sighed, holding her head in her hands. "I am so sorry I'm even thinking of asking this. Oh, god…"
"Cici, what's the matter?" Jacob asked, leaning forward
"What's going on?" Mistoffelees asked at the same time. Alicia looked up at them both, her chin trembling. "You guys know how much I did…how hard I worked to get here, right?"
"Well, yeah. I believe we've both told you you were way too dedicated to this at one point." Jacob said. Alicia nodded. "You both know how much I want this. Between all my dance and theater classes and school, I can't pay my rent. My dad's been paying it…and now he…he…"
"Cici, what's happened?" Mistoffelees asked, concern thick in his voice. Alicia took the kerchief he conjured and wiped her eyes. She looked up at the both of them, her red eyes burning with indignation. "I went over to their place yesterday. They told me that unless I…unless I gave them a good reason as to why I was in this play, they'd stop paying."
"What!?" man and tom yelled in unison. "How could they?" "Don't they know what this means to you?"
"They don't understand," she laughed bitterly. "They never got it, and they thought I was stupid to draw out my Vet's college for this. Maybe I was, but this was…"
"This was your dream," Jacob said, understanding. "They should be proud of you, what you've done is astonishing, when you think of how many lifelong dancers tried out for any roll and didn't get in."
"They just don't get that…they wanted a good reason…not some silly line about a dream."
"What did you tell them?" Mistoffelees wanted to know. Alicia blushed, holding her head and shaking it back and forth, unable to look at them. "That's why I didn't want to ask. I told them I was dating either the understudy or the main actor for Mr. Mistoffelees!"
Nonplussed, Mistoffelees sputtered "Either the understudy or the main actor…How'd you get them to believe that?"
"I don't think I did. I acted like a flake…said you two were cousins…both had trick knees and kept hurting yourselves, so it all depended on what week it was…oh, god, I can't do this… I'm gonna have to quit the cast…get a part-time job…oh god…"
"Alicia, what do you need us to do?" Jake asked, feeling troubled for his friend. The blond laughed coldly, glaring at her knees.
"They want proof. They want me to bring someone over this weekend…it's my birthday…. I…I need one of you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend." She shook her head "But I can't ask that of you guys. Damn, Jake, you're married, And, Misto's not human…and I had to say Mistoffelees, it was the only part other than Tugger they'd recognize. And my dad can spot a gay man a mile away, so John was out, and he'd shoot Tugger himself just for being Tugger…and…and…" she realized she was babbling, and crying, and shut up, jamming the handkerchief into her mouth and eyes as she let the tears come.
Two sets of arms wrapped themselves around her, and two heads rested on her shoulder and the top of her head as her friends held her. Jakes voice sounded in her ear. "I don't mind, and Shells would understand." "No." Alicia shook her head. "You're already into it because of John. No... I can't let you risk it with Shelby just for my stupid parents. Maybe…maybe Karl…or Fergus. They'd be able to pull off…"
"I'll do it" Mistoffelees said resolutely "It won't be too hard. I can Glamour myself to look human, and I'm straight, so you're dad can't get suspicious there. I'll pretend to be understudy for Jake. It's not like I haven't before."
Alicia twisted her neck to look at him. "But…Misto, you're a Jellicle…"
"So? Look, I'm not tied down, so there's no one to have to worry about a reaction from, I know all the moves, since they're mine, and I know Jake well enough to pull off being his cousin. Besides, you're my friend, Alicia. What good is that friendship if I can't help you out when you need it?" Alicia smiled as he took her hand and squeezed it. He whispered in her ear "Besides, I've seen how uncomfortable the human guys make you; at least with me, you know you'll be safe." The girl flushed, embarrassed he'd noticed that.
Jake rubbed her back until she calmed down, and Mistoffelees didn't leave her side until she had stopped crying completely. Andrew came backstage just as Alicia was getting up. "Are you alright, Miss Connors?" He asked. She beamed at him. "I'm fine now, sir. I just needed some reassuring friends near me."
The old director smiled. "Well, as long as everything is okay. You did well today. Keep up the good work."
"Thank you, sir."
Jacob left with Andrew, since one of the interviewers for the character commentaries was there today (hence all the Jellicles in Glamours) and wanted to snag him for a commentary bit. He hugged Cici goodbye.
"Alicia," Mistoffelees said, looking at her quizzically "Is there anything I need to know about your parents before we do this?"
"Um…not really. But we do have cats at the house. Are you sure a glamour will fool them?"
"No, but they'll see me as a fellow cat, and know me for a Jellicle, and respect me my due."
"Oh. Um…we have dogs too, big ones in the yard, and I sort of… made it a habit to introduce everyone to them. My parents'll think it's weird if I leave you out…"
"Oh…well, to fool them I might have to make the full switch over, but that spell's not super hard, since it's not permanent. Don't worry, Cici, you'll get to stay on the cast whether your folks like it or not."
"Thanks."
Tugger could not understand why Alicia had not picked him, and was being pouty and snide to Mistoffelees because of it. He was not used to being ineligible. Misto could not figure out how to explain it to his brother, and grew tired of his attitude. Munkustrap had to step in the middle of his younger brothers to keep the fight from coming to blows. Their counterparts finally managed to get all three of the brothers to understand the situation, but only with Alicia's help. Tugger pouted for the rest of the week, but understood. Mistoffelees couldn't suppress the tiny little beam of smugness that bubbled in his chest.