Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Guys and Girls! How are you all doing?
O-heil-yo you all. This story is all about me SICK-BURNS-MATE myself.
You know what? I feel like shit.
And you know what an author does best when he/she feels like shit?
He writes some good shit, yeah.
Yeah...
What?
Anyway, here comes chapter four of What The Hell!? I sincerely hope you enjoy, let us begin...
Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...
The Following Morning - Still the same hotel room - Arthur's Point Of View...
"Rise and shine, cupcake! We have work to do and Theonite to harvest!" We? I'm the one who does all the work.
Are my thoughts as I slowly rise out of the bed, one hand on my face and the other on something squishy, probably a pillow."Hnyan!"
Or not. Turning around I see the same cat-girl chick I somehow convinced to have sex with me yesterday.. and damn, that was some fine ass ridin'.
Feels like it lasted for a couple months..."Maybe if the author remembered to type this shit down sooner, I wouldn't have had so much sex for my first time!"
I mumble a thanking prayer to Lord Joyde for being a lazy ass fucker.
Suddenly, Blazemourne flies right into my face, carried by a mysteriously evil wind originating from a curiously open window that I distinctly remember closing.
"Can't say you didn't deserve that." Yeah, well if the author didn't type that then I wouldn't have said it in the first place.
An imaginary shrug."Anyways, the sword gave you a curious scar on your face... Yeah, I think we can use this." A buzzing sound and several arcs of electricity escape my newest scar."There, all done. All ye need to do to let me take over is rip off your face-skin!"
Oh, right. We're doing that Hero/Demon bullshit. By the way, are-"Nope, they aren't here today. Something about me resurrecting a Vampire or some shit."
Some shit? But YOU are the bloody culprit, how do you not kno-... Oh, I get it. The bloody author hasn't written that part yet, has he?
"Nope." Lel. Well this day is up to a fine start.
"Mnyaanhh..." A soft moan escapes the cat girls lips and I quickly dress myself and sheathe Blazemourne... wait, that is the swords name right? Yeah, it is.
Leaving the hotel, I make my way to the fish people district.
Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...
Several minutes later... - Little Innsmouth - Arthur's Point Of View...
"Achoo!"
"Bless you." Is Zeus's response to my reason less staring at the sun.
Hey bro.. err, can I call you bro? Anyways, why am I here again?
A shrug, again."Sure, I don't see why not. And you're here because I felt a massive amount of Theonite just.. moving around in this area."
Oh great. What are the odds that some undead monstrosity is gonna jump me right about now?
"AAAH, RUN AWAY ITS A MONSTER!" YEY, FUCKING YEY.
"Chill dude, just kill it quickly and we can be on our merry way." Well, I suppose that's one way to put it... and undead are vulnerable to fire anyways.
I find myself standing on some kinda wooden bridge."A wooden bridge that can hold your weight? That must be some high quality wood."
Oh come on, fuck you Zeus."MOVE OUTTA MY WAY!" A horrible, disgusting voice echoes from my front.
Eww. What the hell is that."What are you?"
The sudden and quite possibly not-normally-received question stuns the what-was-once-a-girl, as she stumbles forwards.
"Dear Jesus Christ on a bicycle... Arthur, shes an experimental test subject of some freak named Brain Drain." Brain Drain? That dude is a known Bio-Terrorist.
I get the feeling Zeus shivered a bit at that last part for whatever reason."I.. I AM. PAINWHEEL."
Painwheel?"That can't be your real name, can it?"
The thing waves its head in negative."MY... MY NAME.. ARGH.. NO NO NO NO! I MUST KILL YOU!"
And she leaps into me, black spikes erupting from her nails. I successfully block her attack."Blaze Swing!"
My blow sends her onto the floor, but she recovers easily and kicks me off my feet."DEATH! WALK!"
Massive black spikes erupt all over her body and she uses them to impale me as she walks on top of me."Damn, you sure love getting impaled by women, Arthur."
I knew you were gonna say that. Anyways, I kick her high up into the sky and then use my new ability, aka. Blink, to teleport behind her.
"Hell's Descent!" I scream out loud as I impale my sword into her back and send us both flying right down. The quality wood bridge SOMEHOW SURVIVES our fall.
Thank the heavens for that. The chick then strikes me with that saw-thing-blade on her back."ITS A FUCKING BOOMERANG BLADE, YE DIMWIT."
Well sorry for not knowing all about swords, arsehole. My shoulder quickly heals and I tear into her chest with one of my hands, managing to devour most of the Theonite in her veins, effectively paralyzing her.
"Hold that thought, Arthur. There's another presence in her mind... hold her still while I boot it out." A mind-controlled corpse, how original. And here I thought Nazi zombies were finally outdated.
... that didn't make any se-oh, there's a swastika on her arm. Never mind.
"A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" The once-was-a-chick thing named Painwheel screams out loud as several people look at the scene from their homes. Several red threads erupt from my arm and penetrate her body all over. Hell, that looks like it hurts.
"AAAAAAIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!" Yep. Ow, my ears man.
Finally, after what seemed to be minutes, she stops screaming and falls down, unconscious but alive... well, no more alive than she was minutes before, really.
"Arthur, take her and find a safe spot. Your character Stage seems appropriate." Zeus tells me over our link but my brain stops... wait, whats my character stage?
Oh wait.. The Broken Street, the place where we made our deal.
Right, time to go all the waaay back over there."Might as well..."
Unbeknownst to me, a curiously white-scarred cat girl bore witness to my fight and followed me to my fallen home.
Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...
An hour later... - The Broken Street - Painwheel's Point Of View...
Stone.. cobble.. stone..
The rough feeling of cobbled stone is all I can realize as I feel myself being carried away to... somewhere.
What was I doing? I was... fighting. Someone... someone strong.
A guy... with a strange hot sword. Who was he?
I must wake up... I must kill...
"VALENTINE!" I scream out loud as my body finally responds to my own commands for once.
My vision clears to see the guy who defeated me waving his hands in front of himself in defense."W-whoa, babe. Chill."
Babe? What the hell is this guy some kinda freak? Even I know this body is ugly."Who... the hell... are you?"
He shakes his head and lets out a deep, really annoyed sigh."Listen. I'm gonna make this as short of a story as possible."
Another breath and release."Hi. I'm Arthur, an idiot who grabbed a sword possessed by a demon named Zeus. That demon now wants to make a deal with you... something about helping you gain revenge?"
I blink once. Nah, make that twice. Okay, make that thrice."And... just why... should I... believe... you?.."
He sighs again and looks at me with a stern eye."Don't scream."
And then he promptly digs his nails into the scar on his face... and pulls his skin off in one go. OW.
What is revealed is a completely red inside.. another face made out of moving blood-colored threads and some kinda bluish fluid... liquid theonite? But that crap is overwhelmingly hot."Good evening to you madam.. My name is Zeus and I wish to help you gain your.. vengeance."
"Whats... the.. catch?" His smirk goes from one ear to the ripped off skin."The souls of all those you kill, as well as any Theonite you acquire in your travels. Oh, and I suppose you will also be one of my servants upon this world... its not so bad, so long as you can take a joke, really."
Tilting my head, I ask the demon."And... How... are.. you gonna.. help.. me?"
His smirk goes even wider, as if that was possible in the first place."I am going to unmake you. And then remake you... Sadly, I cannot restore your current flesh to its original form as the parasites and Skull girls blood have contaminated this form too much."
"You... will do.. the same... AS THEY DID!" I scream out loud as I charge the demon, but he catches the boomerang blade on my back with ease. I look upwards to find myself completely incapable of moving.. What the hell is this... presence.
Its like I'm looking at something.. incomprehensibly powerful...
His smirk is now a full blown grin."So then you chose death instead, Carol?"
My eyes go wide as their blood-crimson light brightens up."H-How... do you.. know... my.. name?"
"You will find that I know many things, my dear. One of them is how to properly improve mortal flesh without turning the target into some form of... abomination. I mean, just look at how Arthur normally looks. Nobody can really tell the difference between him and an ordinary human being.. and that, is exactly what I'm going to do to you." His voice echoes throughout The Broken Street, the place where The Skullgirl made her first big debut.
I nod, slowly and fearfully, an emotion I haven't felt in a long while."How... do I... accept?..."
He extends his hand to me."Simple, really. All you need to do, is shake my hand."
Without a moments hesitation, I sell my soul to this demon as I shake his hand... and soon find myself falling unconscious... yet again. Bloody hell.
Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...
Seconds Later... - Zeus's Space Place - Zeus's Point Of View...
I take a calm sip of my tea as the poor girl, Carol, manifests before me in the shape I had designed for her.
"Where.. Where am I?" My grin goes from ear to ear as I turn to look towards Arthur.
With a nod at me, he returns his consciousness to the real world."Hello, Carol dear. You are currently in my little piece of reality."
She quickly turns around towards me and, as she does so, notices her new body."W-what? I'm not... H-how?!"
I let out a hearty laugh, taking her attention in full."Come now, lets be civil. Sit down and I shall explain."
Gulping down whatever fear she still had, she complies to my order and I nod at her."Good. Your body is being rebuilt from the ground up right now in the real world... a delicate process during which it is not advised to stay awake."
She takes a look over herself. She is currently wearing a rather casual set of clothing. A tight long-sleeved blue shirt with equally blue jeans and the regular combat boots all of the evolved seem to always wear for whatever reason. On her hands are two silver gauntlets and on her right gauntlet is her Boomerang Blade, fixed into the metal and ready to be ejected at will.
"As you can see, I am reforging your body to be much like what you used to look like. However, the two parasites that were forcefully welded onto your soul have to stay, or else that very soul might receive some damage, so instead I just remodeled them as well. The first parasite is now the set of Gauntlets on your arm... you can't take them off, but he can easily change color and outlook to that of human skin, depending on your preference. As for the blade, it is now infused with a certain material called Life Fibers, enabling it to constrict its form when necessary." I calmly explain things to her as she adorns a wondrous look on her face.
"Umm... thanks?" She says, still somewhat afraid of me."Totally regretting the demon thing now, aren't cha?" Arthur's amused voice echoes through our link and I laugh in agreement.
"No problem, darling. Now then, the reason I brought you here is to ask if you wish for anything else on your body to change." She blinks at me.
Tilting her head, she asks."Wait, are you asking me if I want to have bigger boobs or something?"
I shrug."If that is what you wish, then sure."
Taking one look at her c-cups to decide, she nods at me enthusiastically."How big do you want them?"
Blushing but managing to control herself, she says."I.. I want a D-cup!"
Eh? Just one cup larger.. meh, fine."Sure!" Is my vocal reply.
She watches in wonder as her chest grows and I feel some kind of deep pride rising from within.
Just doin' my job as The Primal Lord Of Life, eh?
"WAIT, YOU ARE THE PRIMAL LORD OF LIFE?!" Arthur exclaims somewhat flabbergasted.
Yep. I sure as hell am. Is what I tell him as I send him a picture of Carol currently experiencing the good ole Project: BE.
He grins a bit and gives me a thumbs up in approval."Now then, is there anything else you wish for, darling?"
Shaking her head out of a stupor, the girl looks at me with hope in her eyes."I-In The L-Lab... there was another girl, Filia.. she got.. shot in the back of her head but.."
"You want to find her corpse and give her a proper burial like a good friend would do, correct?" Is what I say, finishing her sentence easily.
She nods slowly, a saddened look etching itself on her face as I let out a sigh."Fine. I was planning on raiding Brain Drains laboratory anyway."
A sudden buzzing sound steals our attention and I smirk."Ah, it would appear that your new body is complete.. now, just one last thing before you return to the waking world.. and please, don't panic."
I tell her gently as I walk over and cut open a piece of her face, forming a scar on it, hidden by her newly-regrown raven hair."Grrh!" She grunts out.
I then stand up."You've seen Arthur do it, believe me when I say its not painful at all. Tearing off that scar will allow me to take control of your body for a short period of time... but I do not recommend doing it in battle, alright?"
She nods, somewhat confused. I place a finger on her forehead and insert the same memory map that Arthur has inside of her brain."There, use that map to find your way around. And make sure to loot as much Theonite as you can, for it is the only way I will make you stronger... and I hear the Labs have an abundance of it."
Her savage and sadistic grin almost reminds me of the monster she was seconds ago.. good.
Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...
And that is it for chapter four of What The Hell!
Now you might be thinking, why another character being introduced to Zeus?
Because why not. I needed someone to beat up Peacock and the rest of the Lab Zero baboons and Carol/Painwheel seemed to be quite the perfect fit for it.
Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!