The Fourth Wall

(as inspired by Syaoran no Hime)


"Why am I Anna's slave?" Manta howls before he is crushed beneath the iron heel of Kyouyama Anna. "As long as my death is not stupid," Anna states levelly, "I will not complain nor kill you."

Sighing at all the issues raised in this and the previous chapter, the Author looks at the blushing Jeanne and Lyserg. "I hope you two are happy, now, are you?"

Both shyly nod assent.


And so continues…


An Impossibly Twisted Fairy Tale


Episode Three

the big day


Jeanne's sixteenth birthday was the biggest event of the year in the Kingdom of D'Arc. Everyone wanted to attend. 5000 zeny entrance tickets were gobbled up like Growers' Peanuts.

However, unknown to all, especially the celebrant herself, a phantom menace loomed over the horizon…


Anna went through the list Manta composed for her while simultaneously watching Pasion De Amor on The Filipino Channel.

Plan A: Get Jeanne to eat a poisoned apple.

Plan B: Get Jeanne to prick her finger on a poison tipped spindle.

Plan C: Get Jeanne to comb her hair using a poisoned comb.

Plan D: Get Jeanne to eat Tekiyaki Udon and drink Refresh Mineral Water.

Plan E: Get Jeanne to put on poisoned clothing, after which she will run off, construct a pyre and burn herself, her spirit then ascending to Olympus to be turned into a Goddess.

Poison, poison, poison over and over again. No ingenuity at all. And where I can find poison in a land full of ice and snow? Not to mention this Tekiyaki Udon and Refresh Mineral Water. What the hell are those? Where am I going to get them? And what's with Plan E? The last thing I want Jeanne to become is a Goddess…

She contemptuously regarded the cowering pile of worthlessness quivering at the foot of her bean bag. "Is this the best you can come up with, shrimp?"

Manta shuddered at the rebuke. "Well, I could have hired Noir…"

"They're out of our budget and from another genre. Work with what we have."

"Yes, Mistress…"

"Are you being snide with me, shrimp?"

"No, Mistress!"

Anna pouted. Why can't I just drop a big snowstorm on their castle during the party, burying the land in ice forever? That would solve my problems neatly.

She started. Why can't I? Of course I can!

Anna smiled evilly. "Manta? Cancel the poisons, noodles and mineral water. I've a plan."


Jeanne sighed. She didn't mind getting betrothed. She knew it was tradition. Still, she wished that at least she herself be allowed to pick the boy she would marry.

But this Prince Lyserg didn't sound too bad a fiancé. From the portraits sent by the Diethyl clan, he looked quite handsome. So handsome, he was almost pretty. Almost as pretty as her, even.

Jeanne blushed. Stop being so silly!

But he has a kind face. I think he is very kind, too. It would be nice to meet him in person.

It was beginning to snow outside.


"Ooh, look!" An enraptured Horohoro pointed at the sky. "Snow! Cool!"

Beside him, Pilika blinked. "What's this? Snow in the spring?" She had a bad feeling about it.

"It was a cold and snowy day," Horohoro intoned. Pilika twitched at the Ace Combat Zero reference.


Suddenly, the snowfall became a full-blown snowstorm. People caught out in the open instantly turned into snowmen, with button eyes, carrot noses and branches as arms, right where they stood.

The horrified Jeanne stared at the catastrophe. She watched as innocent people were turned into outdoor Christmas decorations. Then someone grabbed her and pulled her into shelter. Her rescuer set about hastily closing the windows, keeping the killing cold outside.

"What–"

"Jeanne-sama." It was Milly. She had finally stopped moving. Most of her body was frozen. Her tears were turning into ice as well. "The Ice Queen is freezing the kingdom! You must escape!"

"No! I can't leave you here!"

"You have to go! For our sakes! Go!" Then Milly became a petite snowwoman.

Crying, Jeanne ran out of her room, past the frozen Lily Five and into the throne room. There she found to her horror that both her parents, King Horohoro and Queen Pilika, were also turning into snowpeople.

"No! Father! Mother!" The girl fell to her knees and wept.

Horohoro reached out to his daughter with the one arm that was still unfrozen. "You must avenge me, Kimba– uh, I mean, Simba– drat! I mean: Jeanne!"

Pilika simply said, "Fly, you fool."

Both of them turned into snowpeople.

Jeanne cried. Her tears, strangely, did not freeze despite the snow and ice sweeping throughout the realm. She felt not the cold but intense sadness for her family and her people.

Everyone is gone… maybe I should be gone, too…

Then she saw the portrait of the boy she was supposed to marry one day. His kind face still smiled at her, even as his painting slowly froze.

"Lyserg. Would you still want me, an orphan girl with no kingdom or family?"


"Jeanne-chan."

She turned and was awed. Tamamura Tamao, the Pinkan Angel, her Fairy Godmother, hovered before her beatifically.


Anna regarded the scene with dissatisfaction. You just have to spoil everything now, do you, Tamao-chan? Well, there is no stopping what's next. And even you cannot stop me all the time, my meddlesome cousin. She turned from the mirror of ice to consider the boy shown by her ice crystal ball.

Lyserg Diethyl. I have something special for you.


"AH!" Rin was up in arms over the injustice. "ANNA IS SO BAD!"

"Very bad, indeed," Sesshomaru agreed.

"Cookies and milk," Kikyo announced as she entered carrying a tray of said goodies (Chips Ahoy and Anchor Milk).

"Yay!"