First of I'd like to thank goldeyedsoul and kgunter34 for reviewing. Like I said I've never done this so I had no idea anyone reviewed until I started exploring. I really didn't think anyone was really reading and I'm glad someone likes my idea of a bitter Bella (I always thought she was too quick to forgive). Anyway, today I decided to actually write something before midnight seeing as how I have work tomorrow and would like to be able to sleep! Please, let me know what you guys think and again I'm sorry if Bella seems so "unlike herself" but like I said I've had this idea for a long time and just couldn't get it out of my head.
~XOXO~
The rays of the rising sun started illuminating the room far too quickly for Bella's liking. The past five hours had been all but a blur. Her mind replaying her encounter with Edward over and over again, causing an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach and a bitter copper taste to fill the back of her throat. When she had arrived at Emmett's she hadn't said two words to him and just continued where they had left off before he had left her in her apartment with him. She knew he had questions, she knew he wanted to know if she had come back with Edward but he had seen the hurt and bitterness in her eyes and just kissed her passionately, hands roaming both looking to heal the wound that had been opened up so suddenly by Edward's impromptu return.
A new wave of anger hit her so suddenly she gasped loudly and quickly got up from Emmett's bed. She quietly put her clothes on, leaving a note for him on the nightstand. The day had already begun and there was much to do. A part of her thought that once the sun rose she'd regret all the things she had said to Edward, surprisingly enough the regret and guilt had not happened, if anything the want for revenge had gotten stronger. She could see it, the pain in his eyes, the jealousy and it brought her a sick sense of pleasure. She had a plan. He'd broken her and she would make him pay one way or another. She still loved him, she wasn't foolish enough to believe otherwise, but at this moment she wanted – no needed - revenge and she was going to get it.
When she finally arrived home she only had time for a quick shower. She needed to leave, everything in there now reminded her of Edward and that only added to her bitterness and to the ache in her now hollow heart. When she had first moved in she made sure to keep this place "neutral". No pictures adorned her walls, no trinkets covered her shelves, she only had the bare essentials and she liked it that way. When Edward had left her everything of hers seemed to only remind her of him so after months of tears and mental breakdowns Emmett had helped her box everything she owned and she had it all thrown in storage. That's when they had bonded. At first she believed she was the only person who suffered by Edward's departure. As the fog lifted and as more information trickled down from the shithole gossip queens she realized Emmett had been left in the same boat, just as heartbroken and miserable. He had been the only one there when she effectively pushed everybody away, he had saved her when he found her bleeding in the bathtub when the pain and the vicious voices in her head had blinded her good judgment. He had been her salvation and he had told her numerous times that she had been his. She loved him, cared for him just as she knew he loved and cared for her and there were times when they would be together, that it seemed that their fractured spirits almost made a whole. And this, in her darkest hours, had brought her hope that maybe she was good enough, for that alone she owed him more than she could ever repay.
After her shower, she stood in a towel looking at her closet trying to find the perfect outfit. Today, she was no longer Bella Swan heartbroken, fragile girl. Today and for the rest of her life she would be Isabella Swan healed (by any means necessary), strong woman. After deliberating for as long as she could she realized that most of her clothes, except for a few pieces that Alice had insisted on getting for her all those years ago, represented "Bella" so she slipped on a black dress, a pair of heels and sent a silent prayer to the powers that be that she did not fall on her face while trying to walk in those ridiculously high shoes.
"No, Isabella is not a fucking klutz…" she muttered to herself as she looked into the mirror, her dark eye makeup causing her to gasp. She looked different.
"I guess your eyes are the window to your soul, or what's left of it anyway." She bitterly thought to herself. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down. After her impromptu, albeit failed, breathing exercise she quickly walked into her living room and dug through her purse finding her cell phone. She felt guilty for what she was about to do, only because this involved Carlisle and really he was the most thoughtful, sweetest man that ever walked the planet. For a moment her brain told her to stop, to not do this, but her fingers and her heart screamed otherwise, she promised him he'd wish he'd never met her and really what kind of strong fucking confident woman would she be if she didn't live up to her word? As the call connected her breath hitched in her throat causing her to not realize that someone had already picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Carlisle's smooth, endearing voice came through the speakers causing her to snap back from whatever inner battle her mind and heart had decided to pick at that precise moment.
"Carlisle, it's Bel – Isabella Swan." The strength and calmness of her voice surprised her own ears and again her heart filled with some unidentifiable feeling from knowing she was getting better and better at manipulating her surroundings.
"Bella? How wonderful to hear from you. Is everything ok? Are you ok? Is anything wrong? Are you alone?" he asked worriedly. She smiled unconsciously, Carlisle always worried about her, in the beginning she was sure he felt guilty because after all her depression had started when his son had left her. After many months though she realized that Carlisle was just a deeply compassionate and all around wonderful human being and again she felt a pang of guilt for she was sure that when Edward hurt he would hurt. He had treated her when Emmett had rushed her to the hospital and the look of sadness in his eyes when she finally opened hers was unmistakable. He murmured soothing words of comfort to her and all she remembers thinking is how Edward had his father's eyes. She shook her head to get the rid of that painful memory and took another breath trying to ease the gnawing guilt that was building in the pit of her stomach.
"I'm wonderful Carlisle thank you for asking. I was just calling to ask you if you knew about any available jobs. I heard that you had a friend that was opening a business around here and well I just thought I'd ask. Honestly I think it's time for a change and I know I don't have much experience but I know I can do whatever I set my mind into." She said nonchalantly. While she was in the hospital Carlisle would visit her at least twice a day. She learned to confide in him, at least in certain things, and he had made her promise him that if she ever needed anything she would call him. So here she was keeping her word.
"Yes…a friend of mine is opening a business here, his son is managing it and I'm sure that I could get you a job. I'm so glad to hear from you Bella. You sound so different, stronger." Carlisle said happily, almost to himself and again Bella cringed a little at his tone. She knew exactly what she was doing and she was grateful that Carlisle didn't seem to know about Edward's return. This made things easier, smoother for her.
"Thank you Carlisle I really do appreciate it." Bella said sincerely, Carlisle Cullen was a saint, she knew she was going to hell for this.
"Please, don't even mention it, it's my pleasure. I'll call my friend and tell him all about how wonderfully talented you are and I'll call you tomorrow." He said in a joyous tone.
"Thank you so much, I'll talk to you tomorrow." Bella said merrily before she quickly hung up the phone. She was glad the conversation had been cut short, talking to the sweet man that only had her best interest at heart had taken quite a toll on her.
"Deep breaths Isabella. We'll jump off that fucking bridge when we get to it." She thought to herself as she put her cell phone back in her purse quickly grabbing her coat and keys she headed off to her next dreaded task. She most definitely did not want to do this but sighing she reminded herself it had to be done. She was a new and improved woman, so she needed new and improved clothes.
"The one time I need to go shopping and Alice is not even here. I knew she would've enjoyed this torture-fest." Bella muttered to herself as she stepped into her car and drove towards Port Angeles. The drive was uneventful and when logical thoughts seemed to rear their ugly head into Bella's mind she just turned up the music and stepped on the gas, the adrenaline seemed to quiet all rational thoughts that threatened to invade her mind.
Finally after countless songs and endless, pointless inner monologues she arrived to her dreaded destination and stepped out of her car. She wasn't oblivious to the looks she was getting and her ego inflated a little bit every time she saw a man look her way. To her, they were all representations of Edward and she couldn't wait to see his reaction.
Entering the upscale mall she attempted to remember where Alice had taken her. Luckily for her she remembered a couple stores and made sure to hit those first. After all, Alice had always had wonderful taste and she needed a new wardrobe for her new job.
After hours of clothes shopping Bella felt the beginning of a nasty headache developing.
"Ok, just need shoes and then sleep." She whispered to herself, countless bags on her arms. She had been proud of herself, she hadn't dropped, tripped or fallen the whole day and though she was sure her feet would be bleeding by the time she got home she silently praised herself.
As she walked into the shoe store and asked the sales lady for advice she sat on the ottoman waiting, anxiously rubbing her temples in a futile attempt to keep her headache away, when she glanced up and saw her. Her blood boiled, and her heart pounded furiously. There she was in all her gorgeous glory looking disinterested as she picked up a slinky pair of red heels and examined them. She looked a little older than she remembered, still beautiful as ever. Bella automatically sunk a little lower in her seat, then quickly realized the error of her ways and sat back up.
"Come on Isabella, you can do this. New and improved you remember? Let's start this shit off right." She thought to herself. Slowly she sat up from her seat and started walking towards her direction, pretending to be surveying the countless designer shoes that adorned the shelves. Finally she stopped right next to her and heard her gasp. Looking up slowly, fake smile plastered on her face she looked up at the beautiful woman.
"Well wonders never cease. What a surprise to see you back around these parts?" Bella said in a smooth, ultra soft voice.
"Uh, Bella – how are you? You look so different – great – you look great." The beautiful woman said to Bella nervously.
Bella was shocked at the gorgeous woman's demeanor. This was not the woman that left town all those years ago, this woman was a shell of what she used to be – beautiful beyond words – but, still a shell nonetheless.
"It's Isabella now, and I'm fantastic. You, as always, look amazing. You're back in town?" Bella asked as she picked up the red strappy heels that the woman in front of her had picked up before their "reunion".
"Yes, I'm – we're – back for a while, at least…" the blonde said nervously as she fidgeted with her hands. Bella could detect a hint of guilt in the beautiful woman's voice, she inwardly cheered. Fate must want her to have her revenge otherwise this woman wouldn't be standing in front of her.
"Well that's just fabulous! We must all get together for dinner sometime! You, Edward, me and Emmett it'll be a couple's thing, just like old times. I won't take no for an answer." Bella said sweetly. At the mention of Emmett's name she saw the woman's eyes flicker.
"There it fucking is…" Bella thought to herself. That flicker in the blonde's eyes confirmed her suspicions and really if Edward had to suffer for what he did to her, then this beautiful woman had to suffer as well, not only for the part she played in her and Edward's demise, but also for the heartache that she had caused Emmett. Really, what kind of friend would she be if she didn't seek revenge for her savior?
"Emmett? He's still around?" the tall beauty asked, the desperation Bella heard in her voice made her blood boil a little more and she had to hold on to the red strappy heel in her hand with more force than needed.
"Of course he is silly, where else would he go? We're great…friends." Bella said, evil smirk back in place. She emphasized the word "friends" hoping that the woman would get the double meaning and by the look of hurt that appeared on the beautiful woman's features she's sure she did.
"I see." Was all that the blonde said to Bella, clearing her throat to prevent the tears that were glistening in her eyes from falling.
"Yes, so I'm sure we'll be seeing each other. We'll talk about dinner soon! It was wonderful seeing you. Now if you'll excuse me I kind of left Emmett's this morning in a hurry and left before he woke up so I really should get back." Bella said coolly enjoying the flicker of jealousy and pain that etched themselves in the tall woman's eyes.
"Uh – of - of course, great to see you too Bel - Isabella." The blonde woman whispered as she watched the shorter brunette walk back to her seat, red strappy heels in hand.
"I'll take these red shoes in a size 7.5 please." The saleswoman just smiled and turned to the back. When she returned Bella made her way to the register, the gorgeous woman was still in the small upscale store, standing less than two feet away and though Bella never once turned to look at her again, she could feel the woman's eyes following her.
"Thank you very much, I hope you enjoy the shoes." The kind saleswoman said to Bella as she handed her, her purchase.
"Thank you, I'm sure I will. After all my Emmett does love anything red." Bella said aloud, out of the corner of her eye she could have sworn she saw the beautiful woman wipe a tear from her face.
"Fucking hurts doesn't it?" Bella thought to herself as she walked towards the door, just as she was about to step outside something inside of her willed her to look back and say something, anything. She had to have the last word in this conversation.
"Again, it was wonderful to see you. You look incredibly, beautiful just like always Rosalie." Bella said her name with venom in her voice and sweetness in her face. Before Rosalie could even register Bella's words Bella turned on her heels and walked out the door, head held high, red strappy heels in hand, and a fire in her heart that only made the bitter taste of copper that burned in the back of her throat all that much more intense.