It was Sunday morning and Luke was washing his breakfast dish that Haley came: "Hey! Good morning"
He smiled slightly: "hey. What are you doing here?"
Just wanted to check up on you. Also wanted to say that tonight, me and Jamie, are preparing a dinner surprise kind of thing for Nathan. A little celebration, you know? Because his team won in that important game. I wanted you to come too.
It's kind of a family thing, don't you think? I think it's better that it will be just you, him and Jamie.
No,...you are family too. We would love to have you there. Come on, please.
"Um,.........,I don't know,....ok, maybe I'll come " he nodded.
She grinned : "ok, great! " she turned to leave but suddenly remembered something else : " oh....,I forgot..... The day after tomorrow is Jamie's birthday and I'm throwing a party so you shouldn't have any plans for Tuesday night, ok? "
Ok.
Bye.
Bye.
Dinner time arrived but he didn't have the mood to go anywhere, then again he didn't have anything to do in the house too and he was kinda bored, so he decided to go over Nathan's as Haley asked him to. He got ready and went there. He arrived at the door but before he knocks he saw them through the window. They were sitting at the table, on the table there was candles and 4 plates. They were laughing and talking, all three of them, such a cute and happy family......why couldn't he have that? A family with the love of his life? Was that too much to ask? It was his biggest dream and the only thing he really ever wanted. He stepped back without knocking. He didn't want to ruin their family night. He started to walk, but didn't want to go home. He went to Tric for a few drinks. Sat and ordered a drink and was waiting for it that a hot girl sat beside him and flirtatiously asked: "can I order a drink for you? "
"I already ordered my drink and..... " he showed her, his left hand that had the ring on it "..... I'm married and I love my wife"
The hot girl got surprised and a little annoyed and left without saying anything........
It was almost 11 that Haley showed up at Tric because Mia had called her and asked her to go there and do something, something that wasn't gonna take much time and obviously had something to do with their job, music. Mia wasn't there herself. Haley went there but didn't get to her work, because before she enters the office she saw Luke there, passed out from having too many drinks. She went to him and tried to wake him up: "Luke.....Luke...."
"hhmmm......" he mumbled and tried to open his eyes.
"God, how many drinks did you have?!......come on, let's get you home." and tried to help him to get up.......
In his house she changed his clothes while he was half conscious, put him in bed and put the bed sheet on him and covered him with it. His eyes were half open. She kissed his temple and got up and turned to leave. Though he was half conscious but all this, rang a bell in his mind, he heard his own voice resonating in his head: "I hate you....." suddenly he sat. His eyes had become wide and his breathing had become faster than normal, as if he had seen a ghost.
Haley turned back: "what?!.......what is it?!" it was Haley but he saw Peyton saying those words, while everything was foggy in his eyes. He just kept staring at her with wide eyes. Haley came closer and sat on the bed : "what's wrong honey? " again he saw her as Peyton but he knew that wasn't possible, so he slowly blinked over and over and tired to make his eyes even wider so maybe all that fog would go away and that he could see her face better. It was Haley, not Peyton. He was breathing heavily, staring at her wide-eyed and mouth agape.
Luke......Are you okay? You're scaring me.....
"I.....um..........." he shook his head slightly.
"Ok, let me get you some cool water" she left and brought a bottle of water from fridge: "here, drink this........ok, good,.....don't worry I won't leave until you fall asleep......"
The next morning, he woke up and was hangover and was feeling like hell. Haley was gone. He got up, though he really didn't want to, he wanted to stay in bed the whole day but he had to go to school. He washed his face and hands. He had bought a punching bag about two months ago, it was a real help to take out his anger. He started to punch it while he was remembering some painful memories at the same time, in fact last night made him remember these:
"The truth is I want all the same things that you want..I do...and I want them with you....."
Punching.
".....Lucas asked me to marry him"
He remembered those horrible moments so well, when she came to him but her heart got broken and how confused and lost he was feeling in those moments and didn't know what to do.
Continued punching.
"I hate you.....I wish you never came back....you ruined my life........."
This one, this one was just beyond painful. He got more upset and mad when it was replaying in his head that he punched the bag over and over, without any pause, so angrily, fast and as hard as he could, with all his strength. Then he stopped, though he was still panting. His face was covered with sweat .That huge pain came into his chest again. He took one heart pill, sat on the floor and leaned his head to the bed. His breathing was becoming normal. He wanted to wipe his face that noticed his hands had some new bruises and little scars. Yeah, he had forgotten to put on his gloves before the punching and was so angry while he was at it that hadn't noticed the pain in his hands. He took a deep breath, washed his hands and face again, ate his breakfast and went to school.......
He went to the gym, students' class wasn't over yet, so the gym was empty, he wanted to wait till they come, that another memory rushed to his head:
" I love you Lucas, and I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes and its gonna suck but if what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it........be happy Luke, I want that with all my heart "
Seeing her like that and what she told him almost had killed him in that moment, but he was just so lost back then that couldn't have done or said anything, though her tears made his tears come and he remembered so well how hard he tried not to let them fall, kinda like right now......he left there to go to his office. Entered there and wanted to sit on his chair but god, another painful memory:
"Look me in the eye and tell me that kiss did not feel exactly how it felt 3 years ago...."
He wanted these moments back so bad. It was so hard to have regrets. He sat on his chair and put his hands on the desk and his head on his hands and closed his eyes, trying to block the pain out.
Haley came: "hey!"
Lucas opened his eyes and looked at her: "Hi"
You okay?
"Yeah, I just have a headache" he kinda lied.
Well, looks like someone is a little hangover......I thought you were supposed to come to our house for dinner?!
No, I said maybe I would come but then changed my mind and went for a few drinks but then ended up having lots of them.
You think?! You really scared me last night.......anyway, you better now?
Yeah, thanks......I'm sorry that I made trouble for you again.
"Oh, don't mention it, but in the future, don't drink as much, ok?" she smiled and he smiled back.
Ok, I gotta get going and btw don't forget about Jamie's birthday tomorrow night.
Oh,....it's good you reminded me, I totally had forgotten about that.
"Yeah,.....everyone is gonna come to my house today to help me for the party 'cause I can't do it on my own and I have too many guests that most of them are little monsters, because every year he gains more and more friends, so I can use as much as help I can get for cooking, baking, cleaning the house, making it beautiful with hanging balloons and all that........." she was kinda excited and nervous for the whole thing at the same time.
Everyone including?
Skills, Brooke, Julian, Mouth, Millie and of course there is Nathan, but I excused Mia and Chase because she has some important music thing to do.......
What about me? I can come too, after school.
"No, you are excused too...as long as you show up at the party and don't go to drink instead we are good." she chuckled.
He gave her a slight smile: "ouch. I guess I deserve that,.....fine, deal "
She wanted to go but suddenly noticed his hand : "what happened to your hand?! Last night it wasn't like this! "
Um,....it's nothing important, I just punched something, that's all.
Punched what?
My punching bag.
You know there are gloves for that, right?
Yeah,...I just forgot to put them on and I noticed when I was finished.....seriously, it's no big deal.
She got sad and begun to wonder but tried to hide it from him: "ok then, I'm gonna go, see you."
See you.
At Haley's house everyone was helping and doing something. She was supposed to organize some stuff too, but instead she was just standing there, drowned in her thoughts.
Skills: hey! Haley James Scott!
Haley: huh?!
"Where is your mind at? You know you are the host of this thing, right?" he said this and laughed, and everybody laughed with him but then he noticed she was sad: "what is it? "
Nothing, I was just thinking about Lucas.
Why? Is he okay?
"Yeah, I mean apparently he is. 9 months have passed, he has moved back into his house, he has started to work since 2 months ago....apparently he is back to normal life.....but....when I talk to him and look in his eyes, it's like they're lifeless, you know? Like there is no soul in his body,.......like his soul has gone with her and that he has died with her, the only difference is that his body is still on the ground........nine months have passed and he is still hurting and paining like hell ." She tried to hold it together. Everyone else became sad too.
Nathan: Yeah, but we did and are doing our best to help him.
"But none of us can!................except " she suddenly looked at Brooke, as if a brilliant idea had just come to her mind.
Brooke: except what? Why are you looking at me like that?
Except you! You can help him!
Me?! How?
Well, he loved you once...........
Brooke got where Haley was going with this and didn't let her finish: " oh, no no no, you have to be kidding, right?! "
No, you can help him emotionally, you can help him get better and since he loved you once, it wouldn't be so hard for you to do that.
It was just a high school romance! The feelings that he had for me can't even come close to what he felt for Peyton, she was his first and true love and he can't love anyone the way or as much as he loved her.......and may I remind you the reason for our break up? It was because of these strong feelings that he had for her and the fact that he was never really over her! Plus all of that is over now, and has happened a long time ago. I'm with Julian now!
I know, I know all this but...........
Brooke didn't let her speak again: I kinda, was a rebound for him!
Haley stared at her like she wanted to say something and Brooke so got the meaning of that look: " oh.......so, you want me to be his rebound again, huh?"
Look, I don't say it has be something serious or anything, just a simple hook up to help him somehow and since your history happened long ago as you said and none of you have any feelings for the other, it won't cause any problem, it's just a one night stand kind of thing......kinda like you and Nathan.
Ewww, OMG I can't believe what I am hearing!
Please Brooke, I know it's a little crazy but don't you want to help him? there is no way he shows attraction to any stranger girl now...... but with this plan maybe it makes it easier for him and it'll help him to move on, it's the only chance to help him and I know you would do anything to help him because he is your friend and you love him and he is hurting so bad right now.
Brooke was still angry but wasn't saying anything, it was obvious that she was thinking about her idea. Everyone else was silent too, including Nathan, but it was obvious that he hadn't liked this idea.
Brooke finally spoke:" even if I wanted to agree with this it wouldn't be only my choice" . And looked at Julian.
Haley looked at him too, with such suppliant eyes "please, it won't be anything serious"
Julian always had a fear when it came to Lucas Scott, because he had ruined his relationship once and he was so afraid that the history will repeat itself, and it was gonna be worse this time because he was sure that this one was his true love, but despite all this he agreed with the plan though he really didn't want to.......
Brooke went to Luke's. It was afternoon and he had come back from school.
"Hey! "
" Hi " he looked surprised " what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to help Haley till night"
"Yeah, the other guys are helping her and she sent me here to check up on you since she couldn't come herself"
"Oh,…ok. Well, do you want coffee or something?"
"Yeah, that would be great"
He went and brought a cup of coffee for her. She noticed so many photos on the bed. Photos of her best friend and Luke........ She truly has missed her best friend. She got sad first, then became nervous and felt kind of guilty for what she was gonna do "damn you Haley!" she thought to herself.
So, how are things with you and Julian?
Good.........you were looking at pictures?
Yeah, I brought all the pictures that I could find,.............I really miss her.
I miss her too.
He looked at her, slightly smiled and nodded. But he couldn't even imagine what she was about to do. She smiled back, and kissed him! He got so surprised, and pushed her back in less than a second without kissing her back. They just stared at each other for a few seconds and Luke finally broke the silence: "what was that?"
"Something lame I guess,...forget it " she was embarrassed, got up nervously and wanted to leave as soon as possible that Luke said: "wait.......,come sit here "
She wondered what he was gonna say. Turned back and sat.
"You know you are a great person, right? And we had fun together back then in high school and had some good times. But Peyton......"
She finished for him: "Peyton was the love of your life and also the person you loved first and you never really stopped loving her and you aren't going to, ever."
"Yeah" he nodded.
She smiled slightly: "trust me, I know that......" then she became mad: ".....and I told Haley this but.......... "
"Whoa! Whoa!.....so this was Haley's idea?!"
"Oops! You weren't supposed to know that."
He shook his head and was a little annoyed.
"Hey don't be mad at Haley, she just desperately wants to help you somehow. She is worried about you, we all are."
"I know but she has to accept the fact that I'm never gonna be the same again" he paused a little, then while he was smiling slightly, said : "ok, you did your mission, you can go now."
She laughed and got up to go.
"Brooke......."
Yeah?
I'm sorry.
For what?
.........I never could love you the way you deserved....because my heart was always with someone else, and I'm sorry for that.
It's okay.......to be honest I never quite understood it, but now I do...because I'm having what you had with Peyton....I'm having it with Julian and its great.
"Yeah, it's an amazing feeling and I'm glad that you got to experience it,.....just make sure you enjoy of every single minute of it, 'cause one day you may open your eyes and it might be gone forever, don't waste even one moment." his voice became shaky when he said the last part, then turned his head away.
Brooke: aw, Luke.....
Go, I'm fine......really.
.....Ok,..bye, see you tomorrow.
Bye.
Brooke came back from the "mission". Everyone was still there at Haley's. And poor Julian was about to have a heart attack and couldn't wait to hear how it did go.
Haley: what happened?
The exact thing that I said it would.......seriously it was a lame idea, and btw, at the end I kinda slipped up that it was your idea.
What?! .......Gee, great, thank you, now he is gonna be pissed at me!
"Well it was your idea so if there was gonna be someone that he was gonna be pissed at, it had to be you! Though I didn't do it on purpose but I'm happy with the result!" She grinned and Haley glared at her.
Nathan: well it wasn't a good idea in the first place.
Skills and Mouth nodded.
Brooke: ok, let's go Julian......
Brooke and Julian went home. Julian was so relieved and happy: "thank god nothing happened between you and him, I so prayed that it wouldn't happen the way Haley had planned......especially tonight." he was trying to make a point.
"Yeah, I told you there was no need to be worry. I was sure about what was gonna happen and it turned out that I was right...." she smiled at him genuinely ".........wait, did you say especially tonight?" she got flirty "do you have a surprise for me?"
He smiled back: "in fact, yes I do, but first you should close your eyes"
"Ok" she closed them but tried to cheat. Then she heard his voice from the room: "hey! Don't cheat! I said keep them closed until I say so! ".She laughed: "ok"
Ok, open.
She opened her eyes but got disappointed: "why your clothes are still on?"
He laughed: "you've guessed the surprise wrong"
Damn, I got disappointed.
Trust me, this one is better than that.
No, no surprise is better than sex!
He got serious, looked in her eyes and knelt on one knee and opened a little box: "Brooke Davis, will you marry me?"
She was so surprised that she kept looking at him, mouth agape for a few minutes without saying a word.
"Umm,.........my knee and my heart are killing me. The first one is kinda hurting and the second one is exploding, so I appreciate if you answer" Julian said while he was smiling.
She laughed and cried at the same time: "yes" .Then threw herself in his arms and they started to make out............
Everyone was gone, it was just Nathan and Haley when Luke stopped by. Jamie was sleep.
Lucas: hi........I see everything is pretty much organized.
Nathan: yeah, we had a lot of help today.
Haley couldn't keep it in her chest any longer: " listen Luke, I know why you are here and I know you are pissed at me but I just wanted to help."
"I know" he said softly. His reaction wasn't the one that she expected. He continued: " but you should admit one simple truth,...I'm never gonna be the same again, I tried so hard and I got here and if it wasn't for the promise that I made to my mom and for you guys' help, I never would have make it even this far, but this is the best I can get. I can't get better than this and I sure as hell can't be the same again, ever. You just have to accept this."
But Luke, it has been 9 months! You can't be miserable for the rest of your life!
He gave her a sad smile: " some wounds are too deep to heal.....they can never heal....."
.....But.....I'm your friend and seeing you like this and not being able to help you, just kills me.
The only thing you can do for me, the only thing I want you to do is to sit back and enjoy your life and stop ruining it with mine. I mean you have a great life, you are married to the man you love, you have a beautiful son. There is no reason you can't enjoy it. Enjoy it while you can, that's the only thing that I want from you, ok? ". He smiled and hugged her, then left.
He returned home, sat on the bed and started to look at those photos again, he kept looking until he came across his wedding photos, god how happy he was. That day probably was the best and the worst day of his life. He found a wedding photo from her, it was only her in that picture, wearing white, looking like an angel. His angel. She was smiling and what a beautiful smile it was. The photo was taken in a way as if she was looking and smiling back at the person that was looking at the photo. Tears came to his eyes. He touched his lips with his forefinger and then touched her photo with it, her lips in the photo. Like that forefinger was a messenger to carry that little kiss from his lips to her lips in the photo. He got up to put that perfect picture in a frame. He framed it and held it in his arms when he lay on the bed, while one of her clothes was also there so he could feel the smell of her as he sleeps............
The next day everyone put on nice clothes, bought a gift and went to Jamie's birthday, everyone including Lucas. Of course it had gotten like a habit for him to go to family/friend's parties as the last person and go home sooner than the rest with some lame excuse but this one was different. It was Jamie's birthday and he was gonna be there in time.
Haley's house was like, exploding. There were too many kids in there and they were playing and were all over the place. Haley had already brought the food and it was time for the cake. She wanted to bring the cake and candle, and then feed those little monsters with some piece of cake so after that they could all go home and then when only family members and Jamie's parent's friends were remained there, they could open the presents and spend more time with Jamie.
Haley was putting the candles on the cake that caught a really sad look on Lucas' face. she went to him : " you okay? "
"Yeah, I....I'm fine, I just need fresh air, you guys continue." and he went outside.
Haley got back to prepare the cake for bringing it but gave Nathan a look and made him realized to go after Luke. Nathan went out too. Luke was sitting at the stairs. He sat beside him: "you okay?"
Yeah.
What is it?
Um....,nothing, I just.........I just remembered Jamie's fifth birthday, you know, the one that was after my almost wedding with Lindsey and Haley had invited her here....do you remember when you were putting the candles on the cake what you told me?......you asked me if I was sure that Lindsay was the one and I said "yeah" like an idiot, while deep down I always knew Peyton was the one. She was here and I was wasting time by going after Lindsey.
He shook his head, his voice was shaking and he was trying so hard not to cry in front of his brother: "god, Nathan I wasted too much time, both in high school and after college, when she came back to Tree Hill.........I mean in high school I ruined some chances of being with her, I could have been with her much more, and don't even get me started on the time when she came back to Tree hill, I mean she was right there in front of me and I didn't appreciate her existence, and even when Lindsey broke up with me I wasted too much time by pining over her and then one night when I was forced to face the truth, I got drunk and I told her that I hated her..........." his voice became so shaky that he couldn't continue.
Nathan: you were so hurt and lost, and she knew you didn't mean that. Plus you made it up to her later.
Yeah, she knew and she had such a big heart that she forgave me right away and yeah, I kinda made it up to her but still it doesn't change the fact that I said it and that I hurt her.........you know they say you can't prevent someone's death when it's supposed to happen and that when its written in fate you can't change it, but if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't miss even one second...............do you think it's my punishment? Like this is god's way for punishing me because I took her for granted?......I don't know, maybe I deserve all of this.
What?! No, that's a lame way to think of it. Everyone make mistakes in their life, that doesn't mean they deserve such horrible things happen to them!
I know, I just......I just keep searching for an answer to why it happened and I can't find any.
Sometimes you can't find any answer, especially to these such things.......you know that better than me.
Luke paused a little, then nodded.
Nathan came closer and rubbed his back: "please, don't do this to yourself. You are destroying yourself "
He shook his head: "no,....I was destroyed long ago......." then couldn't keep the tears in his eyes anymore but wiped them so quickly and said: "you go inside,...I don't wanna ruin Jamie's birthday......you go, I'll be in a minute "
Nathan looked at him kindly: "ok" he got up and wanted go inside that Luke called him: "Nathan...."
He turned back and looked at him.
"Thanks."
Nathan smiled: "you're welcome" and went inside. Luke went inside a few minutes later too .They were about to sing the happy birthday song for Jamie so then he could blow the candles.
Haley: don't forget to wish!
Jamie: I know what I want more than anything.
Then looked at Lucas and smiled, and he smiled back without knowing the meaning of Jamie's look.......
Finally Jamie's friends went home and it only remained adults. Haley wanted to open the presents that Brooke came and said: " wait a minute please....I need some attention here. I have some news, Julian and I are engaged"
Everyone was surprised. They all got happy for them and congratulated them.
After that, Haley went towards the gifts and picked one: "ok, who has brought this one? "
Lucas: me.
"Ok, let's see what you brought for Jamie" she was trying to open it and Jamie was so excited to see what it was, that Luke's cell rang.
"Excuse me " Lucas said and took a few steps back so he could hear better, but when he heard the voice of the person that was on the line he just froze where he was standing, wide-eyed and mouth agape. The cell phone fell from his hand on the floor but he didn't try to pick it up, he didn't do anything, he didn't have the strength to.
Nathan came towards him: "hey, are you okay?!"
Luke stared at him for a few seconds and suddenly as if he had just come back to the world from a shock, picked up his cell phone:"Hello?Hello?!"
The person had hung up the phone. Luke was confused, so were the others. Haley said: "Luke what is it? Who was that? "
He looked at her: "you're gonna think this is crazy but......it was Peyton"
Everyone got surprised by him saying that and thought he had gone completely insane.
Haley got frustrated and turned his head away: "you know what Luke? That IS crazy" shook her head and continued: "Peyton is gone. She isn't gonna come back! Ever ! "
He got a little hurt and softly said: " Haley, look at me...I'm a mess, I'm a real mess,…I'm more like a lost ghost than an actual human being, wandering around, not knowing what I'm doing anymore.....you think why that is? Because I know she is gone forever......but I need you to believe me when I say it was her on the phone!"
Mouth: maybe that person's voice was just like Peyton's voice.
Luke: I know her voice.
Nathan: ok, try calling back.
Why hadn't he thought about this himself? He called that number: ".......um, sorry wrong number "
Nathan: what happened?
"Some guy answered it" he shook his head and tried to process what was going on. He was sure it was her voice.
Jamie came close to him: "Uncle Lucas?"
"Yeah?"
"I believe you! 'cause I wished that you could have aunt Peyton back, so you could be happy again......" in his childish eyes was such innocence.
Luke smiled slightly and said: "thanks buddy,......Happy Birthday " and hugged him. Then said: "I'm gonna go home, you guys carry on."
Haley: but.....
"I need to be home right now.......I need to think and clear my head, so......bye " and he left before anyone else got a chance to say something.
After a few minutes that he left and while they were busy opening the gifts, someone knocked the door.
Brooke: oh god, now what?
Haley: I bet its Luke that is back...........come in Luke, the door is open!
The door got opened but it wasn't Lucas. None of them could believe what they were seeing. It was Peyton...........