My head was spinning. I didn't even like Todd. Not in a romantic sense anyway. But here I was, letting him squish our mouths together, push his tongue against mine, and put his hands up my shirt. What was I doing? I certainly wasn't enjoying it. But in the back of my mind, I was kind of enjoying the feeling of someone thinking that I was as great as Todd thought I was. But I also wondered, did he really think that? Or was this just drunken blabber so he could get some? I tried to ignore the unpleasant bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach as Todd murmured some more endearing comments against my lips. My crazy thoughts were doing back flips.

He really likes you. Nuh uh, he's just using you. But then aren't you just using him? No, he's the one who wanted to kiss you! But you didn't want to kiss him, so why did you? You don't know? Was it because you're lonely? Because you're hacked off at Miley? Because you just like feeling desirable, for once in your life?

And then it hit me.

Literally.

Piff. A marshmallow bounced off the top of my head.

I broke away from Todd, hastily pushing his hands away from my stomach, and looked up to find an irate Oliver glaring at us, holding a bag of open marshmallows.

"If you two don't mind, I'd rather not have you sucking face in my living room" He said with icy eyes. Not the same eyes with which he had looked at me before.

"Oliver, I…don't… I didn't… sorry." I stuttered, staring at the floor and wishing it would swallow me whole. Why did I even agree to stay the night here?

"Oken, what's your problem? Lilly's way hot! You just jealous coz you didn't get any from her tonight?" Oh God, Todd, shut up! You're only making it worse!

Oliver's eyes hardened as Todd slung his arm around my shoulders and I didn't push him away. I expected him to send us to opposite ends of the room like naughty kindergarteners. But he didn't. He just picked up a blanket off the floor, slumped on the couch and pulled it over his body. "Try not to make too much noise," He muttered over his shoulder, and with that he rolled over and faced the other way.

I stared guiltily at his back. Oliver had been so nice to let me stay, and how was I repaying him? By hooking up with my English buddy on his living room floor once everyone had gone. Oliver didn't need to see that! But as I turned back around to face Todd, a whole different rush of emotions absorbed me. He thought I was 'way hot'. He wasn't a fake. He knew exactly who I was and liked me for it. And that made me feel so good that I didn't object when Todd once again pulled me closer and crushed our mouths together.

The next morning I woke to the sun shining in my eyes, and once the disoriented shock of waking up in an unfamiliar place with a hand on my boob wore off, I managed to sit up. Christ, I had a blinder of a headache. I managed to stumble to my feet, step over the once again snoring Todd, and make my way into the kitchen.

"Have a good sleep?" I hear an angry voice growl behind me.

I spun round to come face to face with a very cranky Oliver Oken sitting on the countertop.

"Yeah, fine thanks" I said breezily. Please don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me.

"So did the Todd get lucky last night or what?" He snarled.

My mouth dropped open. He had better not have just insinuated what I thought he did.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I don't know why I hooked up with Todd, I was pretty drunk…" He cut me off.

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Lilly! You knew exactly what you were doing! Don't you think you could have been a bit more considerate of other people around you?"

"You're right, Oliver, I'm a selfish skank. I already said I was sorry, I don't know what else you want from me!"

"What I want from you is a best friend who isn't so easy!"

Excuse me? What was he getting at?

"You even said it yourself last night that Miley was the one that got all the guys! You are just so desperate to be loved like her that you'd just let any guys get in your pants! Grow up, Lilly, and get some self esteem! You're better than this!" He stopped, panting.

I can't believe he just said that. He really wanted to get that off his chest. So that was what he really thought of me? It was so different to what I thought he thought of me. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. I was an idiot. For thinking Todd liked me. For thinking Oliver would just blow this off as no big deal. For thinking that I could ever find someone in the world who truly understands me. And there was just one sentence that kept swirling around my head.

"What," I whimpered "is so wrong with wanting to be loved?"

With that, I spun on my heel and flew out the front door, not even bothering to close it behind me.