Chapter 4

Severus

Arriving to my rooms I slam the door shut and lean against it. This is bad. Even though he had hurt me and I vowed to forget about him I can't. I still love him, my heart still pounds, my palms sweat and it seems like my child knows when his father is near by.

I place a hand on my stomach and feel tears come down my face. I wont let anyone hurt you my child. I wont let him; even though I still love him I cannot forgive him. My baby, can you forgive your papa's sadness, I still love him but I can't! I just can't!

I feel myself lowering down to the ground and still holding my stomach in my hand, my other tries in vain to wipe the tears off. I will not let him know about my child, I don't want him to take the one thing I have left of him. I must be strong from now on and not let him get near me.

Has morning rises and my alarm wakes me I slowly open my eyes and heave myself out of bed. Even with the artificial window to not make the dungeons look gloomy and have a bit of sunshine in it, it does not seem to help the coldness in the room. I sometimes do like to go and eat at the main hall with everyone but today I was feeling as making my own breakfast.

Entering my kitchen I look around my cupboard and pick the items I need. Humming the tune to sunshine my only sunshine and rubbing my stomach I made myself triple chocolate pancakes, sausages with ketchup, toast bread with peanut butter and jam on it, cup of milk [I was told by poppy that it is not good drinking coffee while pregnant] orange juice and crackers with cheese and a dash of pickles and chili pepper to finish it off! My food intake has not change drastically but I was told once that sardines and peanut butter on toasted bread is not good but they don't know what they are missing. Mmm, I might just make that instead of my crackers!

Finishing my morning meal and my shower I head out through the door that Albus have so kindly placed for me [it also allows me to sleep in a bit] that exiting the doors and turning the first corner I bump into the headmaster himself. I confront him on why hiring Harry when he knows about our past relationship and not evening letting me finish my rant he thrust a tin can in my face and says:

Lemon drops my dear boy?

Urgh! I angrily take the can from him and continue my ranting with the same amount of lemon drops I stuff in my mouth that he just hums and takes the now empty tin from me, pats my head and says: Oh my! Out of lemon drops am I? Must go to my office and refill! Have a wonderful day my boy!

Can you believe that! I am pouring out my all to him and all he says is he is out of lemon drops! Can I kill him? No-no, I cannot the idiots of the students and the whole wizarding population would kill me if I did.

Entering the classroom with half an hour to go before classes begin, I see that Hermione is also early and so I talk to her of how was her day and break before asking her about Harry.

Well Severus, Harry and I have not spoken to one another from our graduation day so I cannot tell you what he has been up to, the one to do so is Ron but I do not see you knocking at his door and saying 'hey Ron how are you so can you tell me everything that Harry had been up to?'

Laughing at me I believe she just pictured that I huff and non-graceful lower myself to my chair and pout. Well I am not pouting I will tell you that, Snape's do not pout they just look at the distance with a put off face. As I am gazing into nowhere land I ask her in an almost quite voice, WHICH I had hope, she didn't hear: will I be able to forgive him?

Jumping at the hand that was placed on my shoulder she slowly turns me and says: you can listen to what others say or you can listen to your hearts desire. It is up to you to what you want in life. If you are thinking of forgiving him… give him hell first, but if you are not I will always be your friend and help you okay.

Class was boring, as it seems. I was spelled to my chair by that blasted woman and could only mark the summer homework and such that I couldn't see what they idiots of a students were doing! But I did get my joy when three potions exploded in front of her face that I felt a bit better. After the last student of the day left the class and telling Hermione that I would be finishing up her and than leaving that I looked at my watch to see that the whole student and teacher body must be in the great hall for dinner that I decided to eat in my room. Walking the hallway I was passing the last turn to go through the secret doors that were only for me, I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me into an alcove.

Trying my hardest to remove that unwanted hand I came face to face with Harry.

Please Severus hear me out!

Get your filthy hand off me Mister Potter!

Sev! Please forgive me for what I did I didn't…

I don't want to hear it! I slap him in the face and ran. I had to get out of there. Entering my rooms I lean against the door and try to regulate my breathing. I get up and go into the kitchen, I did not feel hungry but for my unborn child I must force myself to eat.

After cleaning and grabbing a glass of milk I made my way to the sofa beside the fireplace and I just sit and stare. I know what I want but I am too scared to try and grab it. I want my happiness back but if I grab a hold of it will I get burn again? I am not quite sure how much time has past but I hear a rather hard knocks coming from my door, at first I thought he came! But when I hear Hermione saying to open up I do and she comes rushing in, talking a mill a minute so I tell her to stop and breath but when she does she tells me the horrible news:

SEVERUS HE KNOWS! HE KNOWS YOU'RE PREGNANT!

Author's note: is the story good? Do you guys like it? For this week and next I have mostly opening shifts at work so I am going to be writing more. I hope you guys like this story! I am having fun writing, my other one lol, I keep on changing so much I don't know which part to put in! LOL RR! JA NE!