Self

Loki looked around the vibranium factory's entrance hall, "This place…it doesn't impress me much. All…why are you laughing ?!" 'Nothing I said is funny ! Ugh, what is going on with them ?'

Stark snickered, "Oh, it's nothing just you unknowingly paraphrasing an old song."

The room darkened as clouds covered the sun, everything was steel so it was not as if it could get much darker. Farther inside the building something hummed, immediately, his senses tried to focus on it, but the excessive noise was too loud. "Well, be quiet and focus."

'Is Ultron still here ? Did he and the Legion leave already ? We need to find them.'

Barton, "At least, he didn't say shut up…"

Romanov, "And drive."

He sighed then scrubbed at his face, 'How did they ever become heroes when they cannot stop either making or insinuating jokes for two seconds ? This is embarrassing. Why did I become an Avenger again ? Oh, right, because the observatory in Norway doesn't trust me. It was only the illusion of a giant sea bass crashing through the telescope, for the Norns sake ! I thought it was funny. Pff, Midgardians.'

Rogers also didn't stand for the levity. "Everybody shut up, we're here to avenge those immigrants not to make dumb jokes. Nat, Clint, you two take the front lower and upper sections. Thor, Loki, you take the upper and lower right wing. Tony and I'll take the left wing, when you're finished you come back here, everybody got it ?"

With a short nod each, he and Thor started off, he couldn't help noticing that there were so many little red lights that looked far too much like Frost Giant eyes for his liking. Quite suddenly, up on the corrugated mesh of the catwalk something creaked. He stopped tilting his head in a yawn before brushing a hand over the left side of his shirt to tap the bottom strip of silver.

In response, Thor lowered his chin, rubbed the right side of his beard and kept walking forward.

A second passed as he implemented the illusion of him continuing with Thor into any minds in the room that done he turned and jumped onto the catwalk. Rather swiftly, he caught up to see a Midgardian boy with white-blond hair and darkened-tips in a silver, long-sleeved shirt following Barton and Romanov.

He'd been feeling rather tricksy earlier and, well, it would alert the others too; needless to say, it worked. To Silver's view he found the ceiling along with the catwalk suddenly collapsing; startled, Silver let out a squawk then threw himself off to crash and roll to a stop feet from Barton.

Stark's link came to life, "Guys, something's wrong with Steve, he's not responding. Steve, where are you going ? Steve, Steve, come back here !"

Bow at the ready Barton demanded of the boy, "Who are you ?"

Instead of answering Silver got up with a demand of his own, "It was your people who killed my parents ! Why do you help Stark ?"

At Stark's and Rogers's apparent plight along with the words, "Killed." and, "Parents." both Barton's bow and resolve seemed to waiver.

'Is Barton ever going to reveal his little family to anyone who is not myself, though that was unwilling on both sides, or Romanov ? Yet he calls Thor and the others his friends.'

Silver used Barton's lapse to lunge up at the bow, but he threw the throwing knife which he'd unconsciously summoned which cleanly pierced the boy's hand. "The next exits your heart little sliver shadow."

Thor suddenly growled through the link, "Loki, a scarlet-clad witch is trying to use her meagre magic on the Mighty Thor. If it is anything like what I am resisting then the Captain is seeing something terrific. I can resist for longer, but it is distracting and I can't shatter the magic with even Mjolnir."

'Do I stay here to help them or is Thor in worse need ? Jane did say to take care of Thor and I did swear…,'

Romanov decided for him, "Just go help Thor, Loki. We'll deal with Quicksilver here."

He spun and rushed back to where his brother once was, his gaze darted everywhere almost fearful as Thor was nowhere to be seen. Annoyed at himself, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he went a bit farther then on a whim turned into a hall. The sight that greeted him was disturbing - Thor knelt on the floor, shaking and sobbing as he must have when Mother died.

Something flashed briefly before his eyes, the stone of Sanctuary surrounded by thousands of meteorites, which just as suddenly changed to Asgard's inner throne room. A want for retribution presented itself, he willed a chunk of wall to rip out and slam into the red-haired girl whom he'd walked above while she failed to hide in the shadows.

As she gasped and fell he turned to ask, "Wolfgang experimented on you with the Sceptre did he, O' Scarlet Witch ?"

She pushed herself up with a dazed glare, "He helped us so that we could get revenge on Stark."

The reply that left him was snide, "Did Stark kill your parents in person ? Else wise I think you waste your efforts, little one."

"No, but he sent the missiles and they were gone, just gone ! Pietro and I waited for hours and it did nothing. I would've rather died than lay there so cowardly."

Vindictively, at which of them exactly he was not sure, he spat, "Be glad that you have someone else to blame for your parents death, I have no one else to blame for my mother ! Release my brother, now, and I may pity you enough to let you join them."

The scarlet-clad witch stumbled upright as flames flared in his mind. Said flames, along with Thor suddenly scrambling away, distracted him. He had to credit her for using it to an advantage because suddenly he found himself in the throne room…and he didn't want to believe what he saw.

Sat atop the throne was himself whilst Odin languished at the bottom of the stairs, Huginn and Muninn already lay still in death. His other self's voice was cold, "It didn't have to happen this way. If you had not hidden my true parentage from me, if you had actually loved me, I never would have made that deal with Laufey, Thor wouldn't have gone to Midgard, I would not have gone mad and Jane couldn't have found the Aether thus Mother would still live. All you had to do was a few simple things, but no that was too much, you were always too busy being the All-father to be my father !"

A brief headshake, "I know what I did was terrible, but that does not mean that I do not love you…I do love you, Loki."

Silver flashed in the sun as his other self flicked a throwing knife over his knuckles, "No, you don't ! You have always resented saving me, after all, if you hadn't you would've listened when I told you Sif was constantly belittling me and done something. It is time to put all that to rest like your oh-so convenient Odinsleep when you revealed everything. Well, now, you can sleep…forever."

Though it was useless, he still threw himself between the two with an unconscious, "Father, no !"

Horror, disgust and shame washed through him as he twisted to see the knife pierce Father's throat, as the heartache and sorrow faded from the bright-blue eye.

"No, no." Slowly, he reached out trying to cup the wrinkled cheek, but his hand fell right through.

A rustle of cloth had him looking back up at the throne, the other self sauntered down the stairs looking directly at him.

Its eyes were cold enough that not even the tiniest speck of mischief or semblance of life remained. "It would not take much to turn you into me. Maybe it will be one word from Stark at the wrong time about your many insecurities and you'll snap. Perhaps you'll set him on fire or just rip his intestines out, it'll be something slow such that you can enjoy his suffering either way. Of course, the others won't have that nor will you as you'll be caught up in the freedom and won't even notice what's happening until it's over. No more turning back - Banner, Rogers, Romanov, Barton…all dead, and you were just starting to like Barton. Thor refusing to fight leaves in disgusted sorrow remarking that he was wrong, that you are more Laufeyson than Odinson and you always will be."

Before the rant had even gotten to the third sentence he was already in denial, shaking and looking away, trying not to listen. "Never, I will never turn into you."

A hand grabbed his chin and wrenched his head up, he'd never known the extent of sheer cruelty and evil his face was capable of; it was terrifying to see what those eighty people must have. "Even if it's not Stark that breaks you, it will be Jane. You know, what with all the cuddling, not to mention fucking that you, and Thor, do with her, I would be surprised if she has even five years left. Someday, someday, you will turn into me…to protect yourself."

His own smug, mocking laughter echoed as the vision ended. 'That weakness, the dizziness, those fevers that she has. Is that not radiation sickness ? Oh, Norns, she's going to die.'

Dimly, he noticed Thor's cheek pressed against his as he summoned the cell phone. Of course, he forgot how to unlock the stupid plastic and glass thing while his hands shook too much to hold it steady. Frustration made him want to just hurl it at the wall before curling up to cry, except Thor took it, unlocked it and handed it back instead. 'Exactly when I need it he learns to gentle for technology.'

He leaned slightly away as he looked through the little, uh…applications for the one with the phone's numbers. Since their two cell phones alternated between himself and Jane the top one was labelled: "Home/Jane".

After he pressed the faux-button it felt forever until she answered with an incredibly sleepy, but happy, "H-hey, Loki. So, how's S-South Africa, mmm ?"

Guilt flooded him as he realized, 'It is around four o'clock in the morning in the United States isn't it ? I-I didn't even consider it.' Jane's enthusiasm bolstered him slightly, but didn't stop his voice from cracking, "N-not so well."

Her tone became alert, "You and Thor are okay ? I mean you're not gushing blood like the time Darcy slammed into the ice and cut her head then complained it looked a lot like melted cherry popsicles are you ?"

'I'm not going to tell her that I was the one who made Darcy trip in the first place.' A weak chuckle left his lips, "W-we're fine, Jane, physically, at least. B-but, I, you…"

Too easily he could imagine the worry on her face, the creased brow and thinned lips.

"What is it ?"

The tone that left his lips was reflexively numb, "You are dying from the radiation. We're killing you."

It shouldn't have surprised him that her own was gentle, but it did. "And you don't think you can handle it."

He swallowed hard, leaning into Thor, "I am sorry, Jane."

"No, no, it's all right I understand. I'd be upset if it was you guys getting sick too. Even if I'd never met Thor or you, Loki, I'd still be dying, so, let me die because of something I love. I'd much rather die of radiation poisoning with you and Thor than alone and not having done half the incredible stuff that I've done, that I've seen. Before you ask, yes, that includes you."

They broke into laughter and he managed a half-smile, "I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, Loki, come back to me soon."

As he replied, "We will." Thor pressed a kiss against his forehead. "Thor wants to say something too." Then he handed the phone to Thor who also exchanged an, "I love you." with Jane before the call ended shortly after. 'What happened to Rogers and Stark ? Did Romanov and Barton subdue Quicksilver ? Where did the scarlet witch disappear to ?'

When they walked back into the entrance hall only Rogers, Barton and Romanov waited for them. Romanov and Rogers were talking, "So, you and Tony went outside to check on Bruce, but he wasn't there ?"

Rogers nodded, "Exactly, I think that, uh, Scarlet Witch got to him too because Tony did an internet search and it showed the Hulk running toward Johannesburg. Tony took off after him and told me to wait for you guys. We can rest after making sure no one dies in Johannesburg and explain the rest of what happened here on the way over."

Briefly, he suppressed a growl then trudged over to the doors. With a single kick he sent them flying off their hinges to land with a cha-chunk fifty feet away in a plume of sand.

Just then Stark's link flared to life, "Loki, Thor, one of you get your super durable asses over here to Johannesburg and help me calm the Hulk."

"Give me a reason to get my, err…super durable…ass over there, Stark."

"Easy, I'm getting mine beat, he's just getting angrier and somebody's gonna get hurt whose not me."

"Fine, tell me where you are…Copper Man."

"Can't you just imagine me and Bruce 'n poof over here, Pokey ?"

Anger at Stark and fear of his vision flooded through him. "How many of your idiotic names have given me now ?!"

"Only three, now, are you coming here or not ?"

"If you insist, Stark." Then he teleported to stand before the Midgardian.

Green rushed at him, he willed the Hulk to stop and the green giant jerked to a halt and took to snarling, "Killed Betty, killed Betty." while reaching for him.

It was impossible not to remember being slammed into the lounge's floor and he flinched. Being in the all-around weakened state he was, it would be impossible to hold the other shape shifter at bay for long. "Banner, Betty Ross is perfectly fine, she is alive. If you merely calm down and shift back you can call her and confirm it."

Yet another snarl from the Hulk before he found himself swatted and crashing through a window, rolling on the floor. Glass crunched as he pushed himself up and opened the communication link with Thor. "We could use your help, Brother, from my current vantage there are police coming and Banner is getting ready to run again whilst Stark is standing around."

"I will arrive shortly."

Glass tinkled and two dark-brown skinned women rushed up on either side of him. The shorter one whose height was about 5'3 and had light-grey eyes asked, "Are you all right, Loki ?"

"I am well, yes." Something she'd said struck him and a genuinely confused, "You…know me ?" left him as he smoothed glass from his hair and climbed to his feet.

'How do they know me ? For that matter, what did Ultron mean by videos there were no Soul Screens visible in the laboratory when we were there.'

The curly-haired girl blinked up at him, "Wow, you are really freaking tall in-person. Oh, I'm Asha Goodman and that's Cecilia Eckhart, we're with the UN, you and the other Avengers are investigating that robot too, aren't you ?"

His gaze flitted past the 5'7 Cecilia as Thor landed beside Stark. "It is good to meet you, Asha Goodman, Cecilia Eckhart."

Asha looked over at Cecilia then said, "Just calling us Asha and Cecilia is fine."

Shortly, he nodded and started to walk the fifty feet towards the broken window, "Very well. Yes, Asha, we are trying to find Ultron among other things. Now, how do you know of me ?"

Cecilia answered, "Well, for me, my sister-in-law, Helen, she was in the Philippines a few weeks ago when you took out all those tanks and she got a video of it. I just have to ask, Loki, how do you not know you're on Youtube ? I mean you, and that ass, are pretty damn famous on it."

The police had tightened their circle around Thor, Banner and Stark as he stepped through the window. "I have heard of this Youtube, it sounds idiotic and, according to Jane, it is full of cats as well. Most cats are silt-eyed balls of fur and anger that try to claw me for being too cold." 'For being strange, I don't care to know what that place is like.' He shouldered his way through the crowd to stand next to the blonde.

Thor was saying, "Banner, all that you need do is prove it to yourself by defeating this magic which plagues you. Betty Ross does not want you to destroy this city and it's people, she knows that you are strong enough to control this without hurting anyone else. Do you wish to terrify these people and prove General Ross right for wanting to contain you ?"

Banner shook his head looking maddened, confused and afraid, his eyes reddened by Scarlet Witch's magic.

Slowly, Thor reached out to take Banner's wrist, "Show us friend Banner, are you beast or are you man ?"

Cecilia distracted him by asking, "Where's everybody else ?"

Still angry, anxious and exhausted he wanted the day to end and it was barely past ten in the morning. "On the Quinnjet wherever the fuck it is !" 'Can we not just finish this and find food ? Wolfgang likely has food right now, after what we went through we deserve some too.'

Over the link Romanov answered, "We're right here, Loki." before the Quinnjet hovered above them.

He and Stark, "Can we get food ?"

Asha walked up to stand beside him, "I'm pretty sure you guys would be welcome to have a bite at the embassy if you want."

"That sounds nice."

A frown crossed his lips and he slapped Thor's hand away from the last pancake. "That is mine, thank-you. You have already had five of them, a whole sausage, three pieces of toast and two of those hashbrowns to yourself."

Thor withdrew his hand to lap at his knuckles, "You had three pancakes, half a sausage and four hashbrowns, even with your recent healing that is more than you normally eat. So, forgive me for thinking that you were finished, Brother."

Surlily, he pulled the pancake onto his plate and started buttering it with a faint glare. "You are not forgiven."

Across from him Barton was drinking coffee, putting down his mug the man sounded disturbed. "Two years and I still can't believe how much food you guys must go through. That's gotta be one heck of a grocery bill, never mind picking all that stuff up at once. Don't tell me you make Jane do the shopping."

He rolled his eyes, retorting, "No, that would incredibly stupid, we have the car do the shopping instead. I do the cleaning while Thor and Jane shop, whenever I go with I hardly have to do anything because the buffoons think embarrassing themselves will impress Thor."

'It was quite fun watching that twenty year old smash a watermelon on her head because a hawk landed on it…so she thought. Ah, that really was lovely. One does not make lewd advances at, and rub themselves all over, my brother and expect to get away with it. Not to mention that she called Jane a whore too, the stupid...gah, it still makes me angry.'

Rogers poked at a bit of scrambled egg before replying, "That's what happens when you have a near perfect metabolism, Clint. You need to buy a lot to eat a lot and keep your energy up. They're just lucky they can get drunk if they want."

Asha who sat on his left, and played with an empty plate, wondered, "So, anyways, what happened with that Quicksilver guy, Barton ? Romanov electrocuted him with a baton then…?"

Barton gazed around the blue/grey room, "He shook it off, before he blurred halfway across the room to pick up my bow and looking just about ready to shoot me. Scarlet Witch appeared on the catwalk, Quicksilver dropped my bow and they booked it out of there like the whole Chitauri Army was on their asses. Loki, you said she confirmed that Baron von Strucker experimented on them, yeah ?"

He nodded his gaze drawn outside to see a few people walking around outside the Embassy's gates. 'Whatever is going on down there ? Some protest about our presence no doubt.' "She did and she has a grudge against Stark because some of his missiles killed her parents. It seems, Barton, that you and I will never be untangled from the Chitauri Sceptre so long as it exists."

"Humph, tell me about it. You, me, those two Sokovians, von Strucker and Ultron all of us are tied to the Sceptre somehow."

A sigh left his lips, his appetite disappeared as the Sceptre flashed through his mind. "All this time I looked for it, once I nearly retrieved it, but for Wolfgang then finally, finally we had it and now it is the source of most of our problems. I admit that I am sick of spending near all my thoughts on the Sceptre, I would rather forget it for a few days were it possible. I would much rather return to looking for Barnes instead of this increasingly futile search for Ultron. With Barnes, at least, we know that last month he was somewhere in the Philippines. Once again we have no clue where Ultron is and honestly not even I can lie were we to find him today I could not fight not after what I saw."

When he looked back at everyone else even Thor and Rogers seemed resigned, at the far end of the table Banner was still stressed from his vision.

Barton again, "Well, I've got a place we could stay at for a few days, it's remote as anything so Ultron wouldn't be able to find us when he's looking for Loki unless someone tipped him off. I really think we could all do with a break right now, what about everybody else ?"

It wasn't a surprise when everyone agreed, they made their way outside to where the Quinnjet was. As the jet was parked before the gates the protesters had noticed them and were shouting about their presence being death. Grim thoughts floated through his head while he followed Thor, Barton and the others into the aircraft. Asha and Cecilia promised to help them in looking for Ultron as the door closed. On a whim he walked to sit in the co-pilot seat.

Rogers looked over in confusion, "What're you doing up here ?"

"Well, I may have to fly one of your planes 300 years from now."

As Rogers started pushing buttons and flipping switches, the blue-eyed Midgardian replied, "Yeah, I'm sure they won't change a bit in that time."

"If they do I'll merely have to find someone else to teach me."

The jet lifted off, as they got higher and started over the city he looked down and saw the mall he'd been thrown into. It became obvious to him that Stark and Banner had gone through quite a few of the upper levels before he'd teleported in.

Everyone was silent for a while either trying to enjoy the silence or possibly mulling over their visions. Rogers broke the silence by asking, "Loki, what's it like being trained to kill since you're young ? I mean almost all I've done since before I was frozen and after I've been killing people, it's like the war never ended because I don't know how to do anything else. So, I can't imagine what it must be like for you."

He rubbed at his right cheekbone, "Being trained from birth to kill does not change that the first kill is the hardest. In Asgard as you noticed when you first met Thor it's generally kill first, ask questions later, especially about personal things. We were raised to think of Midgardians as lesser to us. Why would we not when on the whole you are slower, weaker and stupider than us ? You know how long it took me to change my opinions regarding you and the others. It is still easy to kill Midgardians, to part of me it will always be too easy." 'I am ashamed of myself. At least, I killed Ivanov to protect Kandinsky that is something.'

They flew through some cumulonimbus clouds back into the near blinding sun as Rogers looked over. "Do you mind…I mean, is that what your vision was about ?"

"Have you learned yet that one's greatest enemy is not any outward threat, but ones self ?"

"Yeah, of course. But, still, Loki, you've come a long way since I met you for the first time."

It amused him inordinately, "What you think is our first meeting was, in fact, not our first. Though, you never saw me, I saw you when you were in the process of freeing Barnes, hence my comment in Stuttgart."

From the seat behind him Romanov wondered, "So, how many historic events have you and Thor been part of, Loki ?"

Thor in turn, "What do you mean by historic ? We never paid much attention to Midgardian history."

He turned in the chair to look at Thor, "Do you remember that little plague they had in…hmm, I do believe it was the 1300s ?"

Thor rubbed at his left forearm and nodded, "I remember, yes. Mother wanted to try to help them, but Father forbade it. We went down to see how things were and when we returned…"

"Father put us under armed guard in our rooms for two weeks so that we could not interfere again." It bewildered him to see Thor smile for seemingly no reason.

However, it explained itself when Thor added, "You just called Father that for the first time in three years."

"Oh, I suppose I did. You know I always thought that I wanted to kill him…until I saw myself do it."

Stark broke in, "You know what Odin seems like a real jerk - I mean, c'mon guys, he caused nearly all our problems by hiding the Tesseract here on Earth and not telling Loki he was adopted at an age that wouldn't have resulted, in around about way, in two attempted genocides. Plus, he wouldn't give us that Urdu metal or whatever Thor called it too, not even to protect the only family he has left."

Rogers answered, "Yeah, and if he hadn't hid the Tesseract here or if he'd told Loki earlier we wouldn't be a team now because things would've been different."

"It would've been better ! If you'd never become Captain America than the botched serum never would've come about, thus it never would've affected Bruce so the radiation would turn him into the Hulk. If Odin had put the Tesseract somewhere else you'd never have become Captain America. If that hadn't happened then that Schmidt guy wouldn't have captured Barnes and he wouldn't have ended up as the Winter Soldier. This is all Odin's fault because of his wonderful planning and impeccable parenting ! Uh, slight offence meant, guys." Stark quickly adding the last with a very nervous look between him and Thor.

With a faint shrug, he got up from the co-pilot seat and responded, "I am not, as you actually have quite reasonable points for once."

Thor was slightly more ambiguous in his reasoning, "Say such again, friend Stark, and your suit will not save you from my lightning."

"Uh, good, that's good, I think."

Content to ignore Stark and Rogers quickly resuming bickering fest, he walked over to the bench and sat. 'Wherever we end up I hope that my and Thor's room is far from Stark's. Stark sounds like an adolescent bilgesnipe in heat and that's just his nightmares. A few days where no one is going to try to kill us is all I ask. Is that too much ?'